For many of us, the fear of death is a major barrier that prevents us from living our best lives. We naturally have some fear of death because it’s a complete unknown, but is there anything we can do to overcome it?
Of course there is, but it requires a change of perspective.
Death has long been a taboo subject in Western society. It’s seldom discussed, and people go to great lengths to avoid the topic until it’s right at their doorstep.ย
But instead of seeing death as a dark eerie unknown, what if we could change our perception of it? How can we learn to celebrate death as a natural and inevitable part of life instead of an unquestionable horror? A big part of this perception shift simmers down to our conception of spirituality, and our beliefs regarding life after death.
This article is here to help you overcome your fear of death by looking at it from a higher perspective. Let’s look at what you can do to get rid of this limiting fear, and birth a new view that facilitates a limitless life.
Why do we have a fear of death?
It’s natural to have some fear of death. After all, death is the biggest encounter with truth we will ever have. Nobody knows exactly what happens after we die, or if life goes on at all. After all, people tend to fear the unknown, losing control, and suffering… and death seems to be the epitome of all these things combined.
But the deepest darkest fear is the fear of annihilation. This is the biggest nightmare for the ego because the role of the ego is to exist. The ego wants to be an individual. It wants to do everything in its power to protrude from nature as a separate entity.
Death is a natural part of life, but to the ego, it’s the end of the world. When we fear death, we are trapped in our ego. The bigger the ego, the bigger the fear. The lesser the ego, the lesser the fear. Therefore, part of moderating your fear of death lies in moderating your ego.
When your fear of death is blown out of proportion, it can become a problem and severely reduce the quality of your life.
This exacerbated fear can lead to:
- Paranoia: You’re always thinking that something might happen to you which prevents you from taking healthy risks.
- Poor judgment: You’re more susceptible to influence and control as external entities can manipulate you much easier.
- Anxiety: You tend to feel more weight on your shoulders because death is perceived as the end of the world.
- Distress: You might become worried that you and your loved ones are going to die, even when everyone is in good health.
- Denial: You’re likely to avoid the topic or anything that brings it to mind. This denial inevitably causes problems and results in major limitations in your life.
- Existential dread: In some cases, the exacerbated fear of death can lead you to an existential crisis.
The fear of death can be an obstacle when it interferes with the quality of your life. It can prevent people from reaching their full potential or living an adventurous life because people who fear death tend to take a more conservative approach to life.
Often people don’t fear death itself, but things related to death such as the dying process, the dying process itself, or leaving loved ones behind. When we address each nuance of death and come to terms with the process, we tend to feel more at peace with it.
The worst thing you can do is deny the reality of death until you no longer can. Therefore, get a handle on it now, and it will take a heavy burden off your shoulders, for the rest of your life.
What causes the fear of death?
Some people have a big fear of death, others don’t. If you are the former, it’s important to understand how this fear of death affects your life, and to what extent.
Here are some things that may contribute to the fear of death:
- Biological drive: Of course, we are programmed to survive. All life is programmed to survive, otherwise, the species probably wouldn’t last too long. We are no exception to this rule, so naturally, we want to avoid death at all costs.
- Cultural norms: Death is a much more prominent part of some cultures, where people live in harmony with it. People in certain cultures have more exposure to death compared to a Western society where the idea of death is swept under the rug.
- Fear of the unknown: Many people aren’t as afraid of death as they are of facing the unknown. As death is the biggest encounter with the unknown that we can have, naturally, some people are going to be afraid of it.
- Fear of annihilation: The complete loss of self is a big fear for a lot of people. Regardless of what happens after death, the process of losing everything that you have ever known can be a scary thought.
- Loss of control: Death can seem like a really big ordeal to people who tend to hold onto control. If you have spent your life trying to be in charge of every little thing that happens to you, the realization that you’re at the complete mercy of the universe when you die can be uneasy.
- Past experiences: If you witnessed a horrible accident where someone died in a lot of pain, or perhaps you’ve seen the ugly side of death, this can affect your outlook on it.
- Existential beliefs: Your beliefs about the afterlife can turn death into something fearful. If you believe you’re going to hell, or that you will face some sort of repercussions for the life you’ve lived, this belief might cause you to latch onto life.
How to overcome the fear of death
I feared death as much as any person until I experienced ego death. This experience completely blew open my reality, and this was my first encounter with truth. After this experience, a couple of things changed in my life.
- I felt I had undergone the experience of death, so it wasn’t an uncertainty anymore.
- I instantly developed spiritual beliefs from this encounter
- I started making the most of my life so I didn’t feel I was missing out
I feel that all of these ingredients were essential in helping me get rid of this fear. Many years later, I still have no fear of death, and because of this, I have explored my life without limitations.
Many people limit their lives to secure the life they’re living. They want comfort and security. Certainty. They want to endure, and sacrifice so much to do so. But I wanted to soak up as many experiences as I could. So I traveled the world for many years. I explored different cultural beliefs, religions, and spiritual modalities such as shamanism.
Due to this pursuit of knowledge, my understanding of life after death broadened and I became more curious about what happens when we die (and what’s always here).
Personally, my pursuit of spirituality was a game-changer when it comes to the fear of death. If you believe that there is an afterlife, and that Earth is actually a pretty difficult place to be in the scheme of things, dying sorta feels like a get out of jail free card.
Change your outlook of death
Some cultures see death through a different lens though. They spend time with their dead, they don’t rush them away to a hospital to never be seen again.
Whether it’s Dia De los Muertos in Mexico which celebrates death, or the Ma’nene festival in Indonesia which cleans the deceased and strengthens the bond between the living and the dead, we don’t view death the same way. If we’re all just a little more open about death and talk about it more, culturally, the stigma surrounding it will disintegrate.
I encourage you to see death in a way that excites you. I don’t mean this in the rushing to your grave sense, but in the sense that you want to know what happens. I know that for me personally, I can’t wait to see what happens for myself, and I mean that in the most uplifting way possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and plan on milking every moment of it. But this curiosity gives me something to look forward to. It doesn’t matter what happens in my life, if I achieve my dreams, or die sad and lonely because death looks the same for us all.
Are you able to find something exciting about death? Can you look at it in a way where it sets you free rather than imprisons you? Look at death as a get-out-of-jail-free card. Life is the hard part, what lies on the other side is not.
Cultivate a curiosity about death
Work on cultivating a curiosity about death, rather than associating it with negative thoughts and feelings. If you can learn to broaden your curiosity about death by digging deep into it, that same worry will gradually be replaced with wonder: A positive energetic outlet that improves your life experience, not takes away from it.
Therefore, don’t push thoughts of death and mortality away. Instead, illuminate it, and allow yourself to be fascinated by it. If someone close to you dies, of course, you should mourn but also reflect. Use this opportunity to think about the death process while it’s fresh in your mind.
I encourage you to think about death, wonder about it, and talk about it with people. Bring the idea of death to light, otherwise, it will stay in the darkness and remain as an unquestionable horror instead of a curious mystery.
Cultivate an understanding of impermanence
Understanding the nature of impermanence is needed to be at peace with death. Realizing the impermanent nature of all things helps you see the bigger picture: That nothing stops changing, and that we are also part of this river of endless change.
Everything in life is impermanent, from every emotion you experience to every difficulty you’ve had. The universe itself will end at some point, which makes time valuable for it’s finite. Does this thought stir up dread, knowing that your time is limited? Does it set you free, knowing that nothing really matters in the end, so why not enjoy the ride?
There’s beauty in knowing that everything you’re experiencing will end. So embrace it. Make the most out of this slither of consciousness that you’re experiencing right now.
Part of what makes life so exciting is that no matter who you are or what you do, your story will come to a close, sooner or later. So appreciate all the ups and downs! Pursue new opportunities and see what you can turn your life into.
Explore your existential beliefs
For me personally, believing in something beyond life has made a big difference in my perception of death. Genuinely believing that this universe is a tiny part of a much bigger system makes death seem like it’s not such a big deal.
Life is supposed to be one of the harder experiences a soul undergoes. So in that sense, would you rather stay here and struggle through the human construction zone, or enjoy the higher states of consciousness that we experience outside of these bodies?
Having spiritual beliefs makes the idea of death not just tolerable, but wonderful. Whether you have a nihilistic approach to the subject or not doesn’t matter in the end. You must agree that we don’t know for sure. Even if you believe that nothing happens, then it doesn’t really matter, does it? It would be like nothing even existed in the first place.
So why does it matter how painful the process of death is, or what you accomplish in life? Why does it matter how successful you have become, or how much money you made? If nothing exists, then nothing matters. If something exists, then everything probably matters. To me, this is a win-win.
Your spiritual beliefs and existential views can make the idea of death as something to look forward to, or as an unscalable object. Work on molding your views and beliefs to see the beauty in it all, and slowly over time, you will start appreciating your journey here.
I suggest broadening your understanding of spirituality and discovering beliefs that resonate with you. By forming your own beliefs and having faith in them, death is going to seem like much less of an obstacle and just another part of the journey. Below are some resources to explore life after death, and what it could mean.
Is there life after death?
Ultimately, what eradicated the fear of death for me was cultivating a belief in life after death. If I was still an atheist, maybe I would be in your shoes too. But I’m not. I’m more confident than ever that the experience of consciousness continues after death.
Sure, it transmutes and changes form. You join the collective and branch off to experience your soul journey. You experience different dimensions and incarnate into different places. But it’s real.
After all, every body of knowledge believes in other dimensions. Every religion believes in life after death. All the best scientists and philosophers agree that we simply don’t know, and usually, they believe that there’s a whole lot more than what meets the eye too.
Believing in life after death has given me the ultimate comfort. Instead of holding onto life, I see it for what it is. A dream, a tiny figment of experience that god undergoes.
You can believe that there’s more to existence, you can believe that this universe is it. That’s really up to you. But if you do truly want to overcome the fear of death, I suggest that you start exploring what lies beyond this reality, and you might find some answers.