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Ever since embarking on a spiritual journey, I always thought that humility is the ultimate goal of anyone who’s trying to get closer to truth. Although humility is an important part of spiritual growth, in its pursuit we tend to neglect its estranged cousin – Pride.
Pride is often seen as the bad guy – every spiritual seeker’s nemesis. We get the idea in our heads from all these transcendent Gurus and egoless mystics that ego = bad, and that pride is associated with the ego.
To some extent, pride is associated with the ego, especially when we develop a distorted sense of self-importance. However, pride isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
On one hand, we should be proud of who we are and what we have accomplished. We should have some pride because it’s a propeller that pushes us to achieve more. On the other hand, we can also veer too far into pride where it evolves into its toxic counterpart – Arrogance.
We can definitely become too prideful, and we can also feel no pride at all. Either way, it’s a disadvantage. For the healthiest balance, we should have some pride, but it must be counterweighted with humility.ย
This is why it’s important to discuss humility vs pride in this article and explore how can can find the right balance that helps us navigate life in the best possible way.ย
Humility vs pride: What's the difference?
Humility and pride are often seen as opposite sides of the same spectrum, and generally, we value humility over pride. Humility is seen as a virtue while pride on the other hand is often seen as a sin – the shameful counterpart.
Yes, generally speaking, we should be humble. We shouldn’t boast or brag about our achievement, or believe that we are above anyone. However, we do need some self-importance in this day and age, otherwise, we’re not going to create the lives we want.
Being humble involves recognizing our limitations, faults, and flaws realistically, and valuing everyone around us. It’s a view of life where we see ourselves as a small part of a much larger system, in which we wouldn’t be where we are without others.
In contrast, pride is often seen as an inflated sense of self-importance. Someone who has too much pride tends to believe that their achievements overshadow others which leads to arrogance, egocentrism, and eventually disconnection.
But life isn’t as black and white as one constituent being a good characteristic and one being a bad characteristic. We should feel some pride in our lives as long as it’s kept in moderation. Likewise, if we’re overly modest, then we won’t get the recognition we deserve which can stunt our relationships, career, and even spiritual growth.
Humility and pride are a double-edged sword There needs to be a balance between them if we are to achieve balanced lives where we can excel in what we do and feel good about it, but not let that bloat out egos.
Often in my life when I’m getting a little too head-full, the universe will give me a cosmic slap in the face and knock me off my podium as if it’s trying to teach me a valuable lesson: humility.
There seems to be a mechanism where if I’m not genuinely feeling humble along my spiritual pursuits, I’ll soon land in a situation where I can’t avoid that lesson.
But it’s a double-edged sword. At other times my self-worth will take a beating. Humility will wither into discouragement or a lack of drive. I’ll feel unmotivated and believe that I can never contribute anything of value to the world.
Ideally, I think it’s best to achieve our dreams, but at the same time not get a big head about it. When people strike the right balance between pride and humility, they can be successful and proud of themselves for achieving the lives they did. But they’re also down-to-earth and modest and don’t feel like they’re above anyone.
You see, humility is good as long as it’s back with some pride. Pride is good as long as it’s moderated with humility. Together, they make a great team that encourages our growth in all areas without toxicity.
Healthy pride vs toxic pride
Pride often gets a bad rap these days. After all, it’s considered to be one of the seven deadly sins. Pride can be a bad thing, sure, but when it’s moderated with humility, it can become a force for good.
Let’s break this down into 2 categories:
- Healthy pride: When you are proud of who you are, but it’s contrasted with humility
- Toxic pride: An exaggerated sense of self-importance with a lack of humility
Generally speaking, we want to be humble, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be proud of our achievements. We should be proud of ourselves because at healthy doses pride leads to higher self-esteem and confidence.
Too much pride isn’t good because it becomes toxic. It leads to arrogance, egocentrism, and a bloated sense of self-importance. But we’re only looking at one side of the coin.
This is the distinction we need to make.
Why some pride is necessary in this day and age
Unless you’re a guru spending his years in solitude, or a self-sufficient farmer who has no need for the amenities of the modern world, we need to have some fighting force behind us, otherwise, we’ll never stand out from the crowd.
As pride relates to our sense of self-importance, it can be a desirable and necessary force to become someone. We want to think highly of ourselves. We want to believe that we are the best candidate for a job, or that we have what it takes to succeed because if we have no pride, we have no fight.
In the ideal world, we could spend our lives meditating and being one with nature, but there’s a reality we need to face.
We need money, we need to work, and we need to survive. Unfortunately for most of us, we don’t have the luxury to be nobody. Not if we want to raise families, support our parents, and afford to have a comfortable life in this economy.
Especially in the digital age if we’re trying to market ourselves or a product, we want to come across as an authority in the space. If you’re too humble, nobody is going to take you seriously as an expert. If you’re too prideful, you tend to oversell yourself and look crummy at best, or like a scam at worst.
You need a balance of humility and pride to be taken seriously.
This allows you to portray your authority and experience, but to do it in a way that doesn’t boast. A balance of pride and humility allows you to feel that you can provide value to others, but also be down-to-earth and relatable.
As someone who is also trying to make it in the digital world, I have struggled to find the balance between asserting what I know and remaining humble as I do it. Oftentimes I won’t speak up, because who am I assume I know it all. Other times I will become too self-focused. Being too far on either side of the spectrum isn’t helpful!
From my experiences, people tend to respect me more (and take what I say more seriously) when I’m not positioning myself as a teacher, but rather an ordinary person who is sharing his truth.
But it must be genuine, not because you’re trying to look good because that creates false humility.
I find a good balance by speaking from my own experiences and avoiding stating anything as objective truth. I suggest being authentic to what you know and what you’re learning, and being transparent.
This is good because it humanizes you, and it also keeps your ego in check by bringing your attention to what you don’t know.
Humility vs Pride in our relationships
Humility opens doors in relationships.
Weโre more willing to connect with others when we genuinely feel humble. Likewise, we tend to seek understanding from different perspectives which of course is an essential ingredient in a healthy, respectful relationship, whether it’s with your partner, kids, parents, friends, or work associates.
Generally speaking, humility is an attractive trait because it shows others that we arenโt caught up in trying to prove ourselves. There’s nothing more unattractive than someone who thinks he’s the center of the world, especially if he can’t walk the talk.
Generally in the context of relationships, pride isn’t something to be proud of… but there is a balance. I’ve experienced the contrary, that this hasn’t worked well for me in my professional life (or romantic life) either.
One of my biggest issues in life is feeling worthy.
As long as I can remember, I haven’t valued myself or my work nearly as much as I should. Even when people tell me that I’m talented or skilled, I would shrug it off and say “It’s okay, but it’s nothing compared to other people out there”.
I would undervalue what I give and feel ashamed of asking for money. This has resulted in being severely underpaid, doing lots of things for free, and barely making enough to get by. This lack of self-worth led to a money block which exacerbated this dynamic and further deflated my self-worth.
I understand more clearly now that having some pride is an important component of self-worth, confidence, and building a healthy relationship with money. If you have no pride, you’re not going to value your work or feel comfortable asking to get paid for it. If you don’t value your work, other people won’t either.
This is why we need some pride if we’re going to ‘make it’ in life because it plays an important role in self-evaluation.
Healthy pride can motivate us to advocate for ourselves, but excessive pride can harm relationships, whether they be with family, romantically, or professionally. When expressed healthily, pride helps us maintain boundaries and advocate for our needs.
Why humility is important in a spiritual context
We often view humility as a religious thing, but is it?
Humility has always had close ties with spirituality, regardless of the religion or belief system because it’s seen as an important key in our relationship with god – however you want to define it.
Every spiritual belief system I know teaches the seeker to be a servant to god. Sure, the interpretation of god changes, whether it’s the Great Spirit, the Universe, the collective consciousness, or the Divine Self, but it’s a recurring theme within spirituality so there must be some truth in it.
Logically, it makes sense.
Humility allows us to let go of the ego and connect more deeply with spirit, which is commonly portrayed as the path to god. The ego is like the plug and pronounces our humanness, so naturally, when we move further from the ego, we connect more deeply with the soul.
In this context, pride is often seen as an attachment, which isn’t seen as a helpful part of spiritual evolution. While humility is often seen as a symbol of wisdom – that which is associated with spiritual growth, healthy pride is also an important part of the human experience that we can’t neglect, despite how far we delve into spirituality.
During our spiritual journeys, it’s particularly easy to lose modesty and form a spiritual ego. This is a common problem many of us face as we grow, and likewise, it’s a part of growth – to find the right balance with humility.
Recognizing where we fall on this spectrum helps us gain a balanced perspective that honors our accomplishments and acknowledges our continuous journey of learning. By practicing humility without losing sight of our worth, we can find a grounded approach to spiritual growth.
Finding the right balance between humility and pride
Striking a balance between humility and pride isnโt about choosing one over the other. Itโs about knowing when each serves you best. The most growth happens when humility keeps us open to learning while pride motivates us to value our progress.ย
It’s no wonder why the teachers in my life who I consider to be very advanced are often also very humble, yet at the same time very well accomplished. They never claim to know anything but could talk your ear off for hours about particular subjects.
The most successful people strike the right balance of humility vs pride because if you lean too far in either direction, it becomes a disadvantage. Balancing humility and pride is more than just a practice. Itโs a lifelong dance, one that leads to a more meaningful life when we do it right.