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Have you ever heard the saying ‘Life begins where the comfort zone ends?’ Well, turns out there’s a whole lot of truth to it. Staying in your comfort zone is like drinking a slow slow-acting poison. At first, it feels great, but then slowly over time, the quality of your life deteriorates, leaving you with unfilled desires and a whole lot of regrets.
Your comfort zone is one of the biggest barriers you’ll face in your life because naturally, people seek comfort at the expense of new experiences. Compounding the issue, the comfort zone poses as the good guy: The protector who keeps you safe, when in reality it’s your prison warden.
Unfortunately, many people die in this mental prison cell under the illusion that they’re better off there. So how can you make sure you don’t suffer the same fate? Let’s have a look at why people say life begins where the comfort zone ends, and how you can learn to prioritize doing things that you’re a little bit scared to do – for your own growth, learning, and happiness.
What is the comfort zone?
The comfort zone refers to your realm of familiarity. Anything that prevents you from changing because it’s unfamiliar and daunting is outside of your comfort zone. But the only reason it’s outside of your comfort zone is because you haven’t yet built the familiarity, competence, and comfort with that activity.
See, it can be a paradox. We often don’t push ourselves to do things we’re not familiar with doing because they’re daunting. But the only way to become familiar with these activities is by getting out of your comfort zone and doing them.
Even though the comfort zone acts as a haven, it’s also restrictive. Personal growth involves pushing yourself, trying new things, and sailing into uncharted territory that may be uncomfortable, but necessary for your own good – which is why the comfort zone is a natural enemy of it.
This is why we say that life begins where the comfort zone ends because life is very restrictive when we spend it inside the comfort zone. It’s not until we begin stepping out of it that life starts to fruit in various ways.
So let’s look at what you can do to break out of this trap of familiarity so that you can get the most out of your life experience.
Why the comfort zone is not your friend
Image your comfort zone as a bubble – a cozy warm bubble where everything is safe and familiar. This might involve going to work, seeing the same friends, and doing the same things. These activities are ordinary to you because you’re always doing them, meaning you’re not stretching yourself in any way which leads to complacency.
If you have driven a car for a while, you are probably comfortable driving it, therefore that activity is inside your comfort zone. But if you’re starting a new job in a different industry, you’re not familiar with that process, therefore it’s probably outside your comfort zone because it likely makes you feel nervous, anxious, or daunted.
The comfort zone is deceptive because it deters you from doing things that you’re a little afraid of doing. Instead of pushing yourself and growing, you settle for the mundane.
Some people will avoid doing anything outside of their daily routine. They will avoid trying new things, meeting new people, having new experiences, or taking risks. Instead of exploring their realities and discovering new paths to walk (and that they may find a lot of happiness in), they stick to what they know. There’s nothing wrong with a little comfort, but avoiding anything that you’re uncomfortable with leads to a stagnant and unfulfilling life.
You might be offered a new job but fear the consequences of leaving your old one. You could have the urge to travel but worry about everything that may go wrong. You might be lonely and want to expand your social circles, but get anxious when meeting new people.
Even if the worst happens, it’s usually not as bad as we’ve built it up to be. But you don’t do it anyway! So you stay in the same painful circumstances while your life ticks away. But if you did make a habit of facing the discomfort of doing new things, your quality of life would become so much better.
I encourage you not to get too comfortable. You deserve the best life possible, and you can only have that life by constantly stretching yourself in ways that don’t always feel so good.
If you want to get the full experience out of life, you need to make a habit of stretching yourself regularly. The best experiences in life are usually the result of doing what you were once afraid to do.
Therefore it’s important to do what you can to expand your comfort zone, break the fear barrier, and expose yourself to the unfamiliar.
Examples of comfort zones (Different types of comfort zones)
Now that we’ve briefly looked at what comfort zones are, here are some examples of comfort zones across different areas of life. While you may feel confident and competent in one area of your life, it doesn’t mean you do in all of them. Regardless, it’s important to identify where your fears lie and take proactive steps to overcome them.
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1. Social Comfort Zones
Social comfort zones are probably one of the most challenging areas for people in general, especially those who are shy or introverted. A social comfort zone pertains to your comfort in engaging in social events, meeting new people, striking up conversations, etc. As people are a big part of life, struggling to get out of your social comfort zone can have major consequences on the quality of your life.
People who struggle with this form of comfort zone tend to stick with the same group of friends, avoid meeting new people, avoid speaking up or asserting boundaries, refuse to network or pursue new opportunities that arise, and stay in familiar social environments like their home or the same cafe/restaurant.
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2. Career Comfort Zones
Another example of a comfort zone is within your career. Sometimes people get complacent in their job, even if it’s far from ideal – just because they’re familiar with it. Of course, if you want to climb the ladder and make the most out of your life, you will need to get uncomfortable in your work life sometimes, because that’s how you build your competence, knowledge, and skillsets.
People who are in their career comfort zone tend to stick to the same role for years and avoid taking on new challenges or pursuing promotions. They generally stay in the same line of work, even if they hate it because it’s familiar territory – it feels secure. Likewise, they also tend to stick to the safe and familiar and not take healthy risks such as volunteering for new projects, speaking up in meetings, or suggesting innovative ideas.ย
In my life for example, I was definitely out of my comfort zone when I started coaching people and stepping into shamanic healing. At times I thought it would be easier to just stick to what I know – such as teaching English, but luckily the drive for life change overrode the desire to do something that wasn’t fulfilling. The more I did it, the more competent I became to the point it became second nature.
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3. Lifestyle Comfort Zones
The lifestyle comfort zone is another example of a limitation in life. A lifestyle comfort zone refers to being stuck in the same patterns, programs, and routines, and generally repeating them endlessly because you’re comfortable with them.
This type of comfort zone often involves sticking to familiar meals instead of trying new cuisines or cooking methods. It often involves staying in your current living situation (house, apartment, city, job) even if it isn’t ideal, having the same daily/weekly routines, and not pursuing new hobbies or interests because trying something new is intimidating.
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4. Financial Comfort Zones
People often get comfortable in their financial situation, and don’t strive to change it. Even people who don’t have much money and resultingly live a subpar life because of it may find solace in the ‘stability’ of an unideal situation. If you feel daunted about improving your financial situation or striving to do bigger things with your life, it could be because you’re stuck in your financial comfort zone.
The financial comfort zone involves avoiding budgeting or saving for things you could really use, and avoiding pursuing financial goals, planning, and investing. You are also likely to self-sabotage or avoid pursuing bigger goals that could potentially change your financial situation because you prefer the certainty of living the way you have always known.
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5. Wellness Comfort Zones
The wellness comfort zone refers to staying within the bounds of comfort regarding your health and wellness habits. This may involve sticking to a bad diet because it’s normal, avoiding exercise even if you’re overweight, and refusing to go to therapy, even if you’re struggling and can’t seem to get over it, just because it’s normal.
Unfortunately, many people do things that aren’t good their their health and wellness because they find comfort in doing those things. Avoid this trap and make some uncomfortable decisions to better your wellness. Your future self will thank you, trust me.
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6. Emotional Comfort Zones
The emotional comfort zone is an example of staying in the safe and familiar when it comes to emotional expression and connection. People who are accustomed to behaving or expressing themselves in a certain way may not want to change because they’re familiar with it, even if there are better alternatives.
For example, if you avoid opening up to people because you’ve always been that way, even if you desperately want stronger social connections, then this may be because you’re staying in your emotional comfort zone. It can involve holding onto the way you were raised because it feels natural, even if it’s not healthy, resisting challenging your beliefs and mindsets instead of exploring new perspectives and staying in unhealthy relationships where you’re unhappy.
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7. Personal Growth Comfort Zones
Getting stuck in the personal growth comfort zone is often why we don’t pursue great personal growth opportunities and work on ourselves. First of all, personal growth can be tough because it often makes us uncomfortable when stretching ourselves and confronting aspects of our lives that we prefer not to. Of course, it’s easier to just not work on ourselves, but then nothing will change. After all, it’s called ‘working’ on ourselves for a reason.
Some people prefer to stay as who they are, even if it causes them to suffer. Likewise, we become familiar with ourselves, and where we currently are. Changing who we are is a threat to the ego, and can be a big enough incentive not to change at all. So more often than not, people don’t strive to better themselves which is a sad reality.
Some examples of a personal growth comfort zone include avoiding pushing yourself, trying new things, facing fears, confronting your demons, or developing new skills. In this comfort zone, you are likely to stick to familiar habits even if they are detrimental to your personal growth.
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8. Adventure comfort zone
The last example of a comfort zone I want to address here is your comfort zone relating to your sense of adventure in life. This is what people often think of when someone mentions ‘comfort zone’ – like going bungee jumping, or traveling the world solo. Yes, these are part of the adventure comfort zone, but the adventure comfort zone involves a whole lot more than this.
For example, someone who avoids traveling to new places, seeing new things, and only sticks to familiar places is staying in this comfort zone. Likewise, someone who doesn’t try out new activities or hobbies whether it’s hiking, swimming, traveling, or sightseeing is likely stuck in their comfort zone.
How to expand your comfort zone
To start something new, there will usually be some fear around it. Because life begins where the comfort zone ends, you should make a habit of pushing yourself a little harder to expand your realm of comfort and raise the quality of your life.
But don’t worry…
Having some fear is completely natural when doing something that you’re not familiar with. However, until you push through that barrier, it will always be a fear which is why it’s better to tackle it sooner than later, because you’re just doing yourself a disservice if you don’t.
So let’s have a look at some things you can do to get out of your comfort zone.
Change your outlook
A big part of getting out of your comfort zone relates to the way you think about things. People tend to stay in their comfort zones because they have limiting belief systems telling them to.
The mind will tell them that it’s not worth it, or it’s too difficult, or that everything is fine the way it is. When you’re stepping into the unknown, the mind can become your worst enemy. That’s why it’s very important to address your mindsets and identify whether they are helping you, or reinforcing the already big wall that you need to climb.
Get into the habit of challenging your belief systems, and when you win the support of your mind, everything will change.
Look into your fears
To start something new, there will usually be some fear around it. This is completely natural when doing something that you’re not familiar with. Until you push through that barrier, it remains a daunting mystery. It remains uncertain, and you don’t know how much value it can add to your life until you try it.
But if you don’t look into these fears, it will always be a mystery as to why you feel so daunted to do that new thing. Therefore, when you’re feeling a deep fear about changing something up, sit with those feelings and look into them. Are they rational or irrational? Are they based on past experiences, or where do you think they came from?
The more you look into your fears, the easier it will become to step into the unknown.
Expose yourself to new things regularly
Exposure erodes uncertainty. Repetition leads to familiarity.
If you talk to new people every day, the practice becomes easier. Eventually, you become comfortable with meeting new people because it becomes second nature. Later down the track, you might question your life without those people, but you would never know unless you took the opportunity to be uncomfortable.
There is only one path to familiarity, and that’s by doing it anyway. Realize that most fear is exacerbated, and every time you do something it gets easier. All you need to do is push yourself to take the first step in a new direction, and you will not regret it.
Jump on new opportunities
Start by pursuing more opportunities in your life, and spicing it up a little. Likely you don’t realize just how many opportunities you have all the time, because subconsciously you don’t want to acknowledge them.
So be observant of all the opportunities around you, and push yourself to jump on them. Of course, you don’t need to go full throttle on this, but start dipping your toes in uncharted waters. If you get an invitation for a social event and you’re nervous that you won’t know anyone or it will be awkward for you, you should do it anyway. It’s good exposure, and it’s making the commitment that matters.
The more commitments you make to new opportunities that present themselves, the better off you’re going to be.
Be patient with results
We all suck on Day-One. Nobody can shortcut this process of gradually learning and gaining the associated competence. You need to go through the process of trial and error to become proficient at something. There is always a learning curve to anything you do in life, and this learning curve is an essential part of your development.
So don’t expect yourself to do well, just do it. Just start, and then start improving. Perhaps a reason why you’re not getting out of your comfort zone is because you have too high expectations. Focus on just doing the thing, not succeeding at it.
Be honest with yourself
You need to be honest with yourself. This means to acknowledge why you’re holding back. Transparency is a crucial component because if you’re always making excuses, you’ll think you never have a problem!
You need to draw a line between something not being for you because you genuinely don’t think you will enjoy the activity, and holding back because you’re afraid of doing it. Therefore, cultivate an awareness of why you’re not pushing yourself, and notice every time an opportunity to do so arises.
Your life begins where the comfort zone ends
In this article we’ve looked at a fairly comprehensive view of the comfort zone, and why people hold themselves back. Now that you’re aware of the different facets of this matter, it’s time to take the initiative and create some movement in your life.
As long as you remember that life begins where the comfort zone ends, you will always remind yourself that stepping into the unknown is a good thing to do. So start chipping away at this elusive bubble, and don’t settle for a life not worth living.
2 comments
One of my fave articles.
Glad you enjoyed it.