Sexual Energy Exchange: What's The Real Cost Of Intercourse?

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Sex, the thing we all love to do but avoid talking about. Sex can be beautiful as it forms an intimate emotional connection between two people, but there’s a dark side to it too as we exchange a whole lot more than body fluids.

Here’s the thing.

Sex is much more than a physical act. It’s the spiritual binding between two souls resulting in a powerful energy exchange. During sex, you’re creating an energetic tether that transmits energies between the two of you.

These energies can be loving, healing, and sacred, in which the sexual energy transfer is mutually beneficial. But these energies can also be toxic which harms the person taking them on.

Sex is something I’ve taken much more seriously over the years as I’ve learned about the sexual energy transfer that occurs during it. Here I will explain what exactly a sexual energy transfer is, what it does, and how you can avoid taking on unwanted energies during sex.

Do you exchange energies during sex?

As we each have energetic bodies, our auras are constantly interacting with the people around us. Your energetic body interacts with the people sitting at the table next to you, the people you talk with, and the people you walk past on the streets.

Have you ever walked past someone and felt a little… dirty? You may not know why exactly, but you instinctively get a hunch that the person isn’t good for you, and your intuition urges you to get away from them?

That’s because you’re picking up energy from that person.

As we interact with many people daily, we’re exposed to all sorts of energies; good, bad, and everything in between. Not all of this energy is good for us, but that’s okay because we’re only taking small doses – like drips added to your energy field.

Sex on the other hand is like plugging a cord into a power socket. As sexual intercourse is a deeply intimate process where your energetic body is mending with someone else’s, you’re essentially opening up a channel from your energetic body to theirs.

This can be a good thing if both parties have nothing but love and respect for one another and engage consciously, but it can also take a serious toll if you’re not careful who you energetically share yourself with.

During sex, you’re like an energetic sponge because your energetic body is wide open. If you have a sexual relationship with someone who is deeply insecure, you might start taking on energies of insecurity yourself. If you sleep with someone manipulative, then you might take on manipulative tendencies yourself.

So it does matter who you form such a deep energetic connection with, and whether this person is good for you or not. Of course, sexual energy transfer is a two-way street. Therefore, if you’re in a dark place, perhaps it’s better not to share that energy with others.

Some things that influence the sexual energy transfer include:

The person’s vibration: Sex creates a sort of vibrational osmosis. If you have sex with someone who is in a low-vibrational state, it will bring your vibration down. Likewise, if you have sex with someone who is in a high-vibrational state, it will bring your vibration up. As your energies are connecting, they will seek a balance.
The person’s mood: How the person is presently feeling will transfer. If you are in a bad mood and have sex, you are likely to transfer these feelings of irritability, sadness, or pain to the other person. Likewise, if you have sex with someone who is depressed, you may take on energies of depression too.
The person’s intentions or desires: Your intentions also play a big role in sexual energy transference. If you have sex with someone who is acting from impulse and unconsciousness, these energies will negatively affect you. If you have sex with someone who loves you and feels a heart connection with you, the sexual energy transfer will be much more positive.
The person’s trauma: Trauma also transfers energetically. If you have sex with someone who has some severe trauma they haven’t yet healed from, you will absorb some of these energies and may feel traumatized yourself. If you energetically share yourself with someone who is either healed or healing, you may take on some of that healing energy too.
The person’s intake: If you have sex with someone who is under the influence of drugs such as alcohol, then you will also take on the vibration of that substance. This also works with food, medication, and anything you put in your body, as what you consume becomes part of your energetic body.

After traveling for a year in my early 20s and gaining a whole new level of self-confidence, my dating life took a major uptick. Fortunately, most of the people I slept with during this time were positive people with who I shared a mature connection with. However, occasionally I shared myself with an unconscious, unhealed woman.

One woman I briefly saw struggled with a severe case of bipolar disorder. She was in her manic phase when we met, and at the time it didn’t phase me. The second time we met, it was like a switch had flipped. She was sad, depressed, and deprived of any energy. We stopped seeing each other from that point, but for years after I noticed an emotional instability that wasn’t previously there.

Sometimes, I would feel over the moon and barely know how to contain it. At other times an energy of despair would wash over me. I felt depressed as if there was no point living anymore. These foreign feelings seemed to occur randomly. This is when I realized this wasn’t my own stuff that was affecting me. This is when the idea of sexual energy transfer began to take hold.

Does sex lower vibration?

Sex can either lower your vibration or raise your vibration depending on the person you have sex with, and the circumstances it happens under.

On one hand, if you are consciously having sex with someone you love, in which the act is done while feeling high vibrational energies such as love, care, and gratitude, sex can be a deeply spiritual act that can positively charge both of you, as long as it’s mutual. On the other hand, if you are having sex with someone solely for pleasure, especially if there is substance involved such as alcohol, then sex can lower your vibration and negatively affect you.

With that said, the set and setting also play a factor. You open yourself up energetically during sex which means you take on the energies of the person you’re having sex with, but you’re also taking on energies of the place you’re in. If you’re in a low-vibrational environment while this happens, then you’re also opening yourself up to those energies.

What is sexual energy?

Sexual energy is something we’re all very familiar with. There are many subtle energies out there, and sexual energy isn’t one of them. Sexual energy is a raw and powerful energy that is produced by the sacral chakra. This is the energy you feel when you’re aroused, and it acts as a magnetic force for reproduction.

During sex, we transfer sexual energy with one another and pass on certain energies. But there’s another layer to this. If you have had sex with a lot of people, that means you have taken on energy from a lot of people. You can also transfer the energies of other people as those energies have become part of your energetic field.

This is a trap I see men fall into. Men are visual creatures, generally with lesser inhibitions. Let’s be honest, most men will sleep with any woman who they deem to be attractive. This is why men often take on lots of different energies from toxic women, which they end up unconsciously passing to other people.

This is why it’s particularly important to be conscious about who you have a sexual relationship with, and be aware of what you may be receiving from the person (and passing to them).

How long does it take to dispel sexual energy?

Generally speaking, it takes around 7 years to dispel sexual energy. That means the energy of someone you slept with 7 years ago can still influence you today. The sexual energy you have taken on will slowly leak out of your energetic body over the years. Your energetic body is constantly purifying itself, but slowly. Considering you’re constantly taking on energies from foods, people, technology, etc. this process can be lengthy.

Energetic cleansings may aid the process. There are individuals I have met who said they purged some bad energies they absorbed during sex while in Ayahuasca ceremonies. Other plant medicines such as mushrooms or Sananga, if used with intention, may help clear out adopted sexual energy.

Sexually transmitted spirits

You can catch a lot more than STIs from sex. Spiritual attachments can also jump from one energetic body to the next during sex. Yep, you read that correctly!

When I was volunteering in a shamanic medicine community in Peru, a woman was possessed by a spirit, which was a pretty big deal. Later on, the shaman disclosed that the woman was possessed by a bad spirit that was likely passed to her through sexual intercourse.

During my time working at a shamanic healing center in Ecuador, fairly regularly we would see guests who had taken on attachments from other people during sexual intercourse. Some were aware of it, others weren’t. These attachments were often energies or spirits that were passed to the guest after engaging in sex with someone who had an attachment, and this energy went on to cause havoc in their lives.

The importance of seeking healthy relationships

Now you know why it’s so important to seek healthy sexual relationships with people who are good for you. Avoid having sex with people who are not good for your energy. Believe me, a night of pleasure is not worth the consequences of taking on some nasty energy that’s not yours to deal with.

Only seek sexual relationships with healed people (or healing people). You need to make your sexual decisions with your higher self, not the ego, or part of you that is simply seeking pleasure.

Treat a sexual relationship as a gift. You should perceive it as giving the other person positive, loving energy which will help them in some way. With that said, you should genuinely be a positive influence on anyone you have a sexual relationship with. You can do this by embodying the highest, most healed version of yourself, and treating every sexual partner with love and care. If you can’t do that, then don’t have sex with them!

Don’t get me wrong, sex can be a beautiful thing, and it should be a beautiful thing. Unconsciousness contaminated sexual relationships like nothing else, so always bring consciousness into your sexual relationships, seek healthy sexual relationships with conscious individuals, and be aware of the energies you are opening yourself up to.