Black Sheep in the Family? Welcome to the Tribe!

???? Are you the black sheep in your family? Congratulations, this is actually a blessing. Let's look at why that is, and how you can leverage this position to become your best self

Do you feel like you’ve always been the outlier in your family? Probably not in the way that makes you want to celebrate either. While the other members seem to mesh so well, you see things a little differently. In fact, your world is a very different place from theirs.

Let’s face it. You don’t really have anything in common with the people in your family. Instead of being part of the flock, you’re the outsider that they deal with. It can be a difficult position to be in, and there’s no way out. You would rather drink bleach than conform, and pretending you’re someone you’re not would be deeply unfulfilling.

But don’t stress, because being the black sheep is actually a privilege. You’re the one who’s going to break the chain, and this is an important role to be in. All you need is some guidance to turn this curse into a blessing, and that’s what we’re going to look at here.

What does it mean to be the black sheep?

The future of our world will be shaped by those who oppose the systems that were imposed on us.

Black sheep family portrait

The back sheep is often seen as the rebel of the family. It is an individual who diverges from the customs, traditions, and values of their family. You can look at the black sheep as the odd one out, or the runt.

You might think that being the black sheep is a curse, but this isn’t how I see it at all. You refuse to mindlessly follow norms, you don’t conform, and you question family customs and traditions. You see through the webs of conditioning, patterns, and programs that many people are ensnared in. If something doesn’t make sense to you, you’re not one to jump on board because everyone else does.

You are an individualist by nature, and this means that you have the freedom to become your own person regardless of outside pressure or influences. While some will perceive the black sheep to be the family scapegoat or the unempowered victim of the world, that’s not necessarily true.

Being a black sheep doesn’t mean you have narcissistic parents who despise you. It doesn’t mean that you’re a good-for-nothing punk, or a deadbeat dropout. It just means that you see things differently from the rest of your family, and that sets you apart regarding how you live your life.

Why is it good to be the black sheep?

As with many family dynamics, most people walk the path that was laid out for them. They model after their parents and adopt similar values, belief systems, mannerisms, and behaviors. In most cases, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

There’s nothing wrong with modeling after your parents, but what if you don’t fit into this box? You have your own interests, and perhaps they’re a little unconventional. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with people sharing interests and following customs, but you just don’t see the appeal.

Growing up, I was the odd one out. While my parents and brother all followed successful careers as doctors and lawyers, I had no interest in pursuing what’s commonly deemed a successful life.

Honestly, I just couldn’t (and still don’t) see the value of trading the best part of my life for stability. During my youth, I definitely had a rebellious streak. I wanted to get drunk and smoke weed. I wanted to go to parties and chase women. I didn’t care about studying, or being successful, or trying to be someone.

With maturity, I really began walking a separate path. I spent a good seven years living a nomadic lifestyle, then found myself drawn into the healing space, especially via shamanic traditions.

While I do have a good family who supports me in these ventures, my divergence in interests and values led me down a very different road in life, which I’m infinitely grateful to be walking.

The path of the black sheep may not be an easy path. In fact, there’s not really a path at all. But that’s the beauty of it, you have the opportunity to discover that path and be the pioneer of your life.

Examples of the black sheep

While your family are highly respected professionals who live by a certain code of conduct, you choose not to. Instead, you pick a lifestyle that is completely out of the ordinary for your family.

If you come from a very conservative family but have progressive values, you may be the black sheep of the family. Your position varies from the rest of your family, which can cause friction, resentment, and a lack of understanding.

The black sheep is often the rebellious one in the family. They tend to be the one who has a wild phase in their life. They might have tattoos, piercings, or a style that is not typical of the family.

While your family may be very trusting of authority structures, you don’t share this sense of trust. This leads you to question the world, which can lead to unpopular beliefs within your family setting. You may be labeled as a conspiracy theorist for holding certain beliefs, and feel judged by your family.

Your family may have a very proscience outlook and disregard spirituality as nonsense. You may be spiritual yourself, and see spirituality as a big part of your life.

Common signs that you’re a black sheep

  • You feel like you don’t belong
  • You are more individualistic than the other members of your family and prefer your own company
  • You don’t confine yourself to social norms
  • You are curious about things that your family doesn’t acknowledge or seem to care about
  • You will follow your calling, regardless of what others think
  • You don’t just follow norms, you question them
  • You prefer spontaneity over routine
  • You find that having a structured life is boring
  • You don’t have much in common with your family members
  • You question family customs and traditions
  • You don’t crumple under social pressure
  • You like to stand out of the crowd
  • You have a general distrust of authority structures and social hierarchies
  • You feel excluded from your family and feel that they don’t value you
  • You don’t believe in the conventional route or believe it is not fulfilling
  • You have different values from the rest of your family
  • You are more rebellious in nature

Being the black sheep: Take the path of the higher self

The wanderer

The black sheep doesn’t always have such a hot reputation. Generally, the black sheep is seen as the runt of their family who they’re ashamed of. Sure, this can happen, but this isn’t necessarily the case.

There are two sides to the black sheep coin. If you’re not careful, being the black sheep can lead you down a shadowy road where people become the rejects of their families. They become failures, and often parasites to the people they rely on to stay afloat.

But the other side of this coin is a positive thing. If you use this position as the outsider to grow, evolve, and explore your inner reality, you actually have a huge advantage. But first, we need to make the distinction.

Let’s have a quick look at what it looks like to go down a dark road as opposed to a bright road. Otherwise, to get a broader grasp of what creates this distinction, and how to avoid going down the wrong road.

Archetypes of the black sheep gone wrong

The black sheep lower self

This is a version of the black sheep that people can slip into. This tends to happen when the black sheep doesn’t use their edge to their advantage. They make unwise decisions, fall into impulses, and let the individualistic life get the best of them.

Here’s a picture of following the path of the lower self:

  • The family loser
  • The low life
  • The alcoholic
  • The drug addict
  • The prostitute
  • The parasite
  • The thug
  • The weirdo
  • The disappointment

Archetypes of the black sheep gone right

The black sheep higher self

This version of the black sheep is the path you want to take. You’re standing out of the crowd in a positive and inspiring way. You’re making wise decisions with your life, and using your nonconformist nature to pave a better path in life.

Here’s a picture of following the path of the higher self:

  • The individualist
  • Unique
  • The free spirit
  • The Pioneer
  • The freethinker
  • The nonconformist
  • The underdog

Becoming the black sheep in the family with pride

Black sheep of the flock

Being the black sheep means that you’re an anomaly within your family. This puts you in a unique position where it can really serve your personal growth and transformation.

People who are the black sheep can get lost. Others find a better path to walk, that brings them inner fulfillment and happiness. Here are some suggestions to find the path that serves you. For more on that, check out the article below.

Don’t settle

Just because you’re the black sheep doesn’t mean you’re doomed to work in a bar your whole life. Nor does it mean that you can’t create wealth, or find success, at least in the conventional sense.

You’re just born for a different role, which is to lead. That’s why you should work towards finding something that you really enjoy doing, and it’s not going to be working for other people your whole life. Think about creating your own business, living in a tropical paradise, or turning your passion into something that you can make money from.

You are destined to be a leader which is why you’ve never been a good follower. So make sure you build towards a life where you have the opportunity to lead, whether it’s other people or your own avocations.

Don’t be a victim

Being the emotional punching bag is a common theme of people who are the black sheep of their families. And let’s face it, it can be a a tricky position because you just don’t have the same support as those who belong. But you are not a victim.

Even if you’re given the worst treatment, you are never the victim. Victimhood is a mindset, not a condition. And as long as you assume the position of the victim, you’re never going to be constructive. It’s an extremely disempowering mindset, and it’s something that you want to avoid.

So look at the bright side. Look at the advantages of being the black sheep, and how it sets you on a path of inner growth, healing, and prosperity: As long as you own it and make the most of it.

Let your true colors shine

Don’t be afraid to be the odd one out. You are born to be an individual, so allow yourself to be an individual. Conformity isn’t good for anyone at the end of the day. It leads to a very monotonous world.

You can see through the web of conditioning, and the smear of lies and deceit. You are a free thinker as you aren’t bound to social norms which is a good thing. At the end of the day, other people’s approval is not what you need (and probably don’t expect), so just be you.

Direct your impulses for your good

A common theme of being a black sheep is to have a rebellious streak. After all, that impulse to oppose preestablished systems is in your blood. But if you’re not careful, it can cause you (and potentially others) a lot of harm.

That impulse can be a trap. You defy authority by needlessly taking drugs. You defy the social structure but don’t have a plan, so you end up living on handouts. Your desire to be an individual comes at the expense of having proper mannerisms, hygiene, or doing things that actually need to be done.

Therefore, make sure that your impulses are used for the good of yourself and other people. Strive to do good things, and it will reflect in the life that you lead.

Guide yourself with personal growth

As long as you’re on a journey of personal growth, you can never go astray. Personal growth should be your compass when everything else seems.. confusing. After all, not being so close to family has pushed you into a journey of self-discovery. Whether it’s to find yourself, to cope, or to expand, growth is the way forward.

Use this feeling of not belonging as a springboard for self-discovery. Your inner growth is what’s important. As long as you go down the path of actualization, you’re on a good trajectory.

Follow the pathway of spiritual transformation

Being the black sheep often leads people down a spiritual pathway. This is because they explore their realities and question things. They aren’t ones to mindlessly comply, and often this leads people to an inner search for meaning, in which spirituality is almost always where that journey leads.

This means that being a black sheep is a corridor to spiritual awakening because you’re not bound within the conventions of your family (or society for that matter). So explore your reality. Explore your consciousness. Find out what you truly are and what provides meaning to your life.

Find your tribe

Being the black sheep should spur you to seek out people who you can connect with. You’ve never really had that at home, so you should see no reason not to seek out your tribe. Get out there and see what sort of people you resonate with. Connect with people who are like-minded, and allow your adventure of consciousness to bring you to new places.

Remember, your drive to be different is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s commendable because it’s so easy to follow the road that was laid out for us. But it takes courage to walk your own path, to be your own person, to explore your own reality.

So have fun on this adventure as you find yourself, and don’t be afraid to drift further and further away from the norm. It’s what we need more than ever these days.

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