Category: Fear Complex

Fear complex looks at our outlook of fear, and how it acts as a barrier in achieving a high-quality of life. With the resources here, you’ll discover new ways of perceiving fear. Instead of fearing fear itself, you’ll learn to overcome this barrier, to live up to your full potential.

How To Take A Leap Of Faith (And Why You Should)

Life can feel cruisy while you’re in a routine. You work the same job, see the same people, and do the same things. There’s no doubt that routine is comfortable. We feel secure because we know how everything works.

Sooner or later, you may feel a sense of unease creeping up. A voice telling you that spending your years caught in routine at the expense of adventure is wasting away your life. Unless you take action to change your life, this is as good as it gets. This voice may begin as a whisper, but over time it slowly gets louder, deafening, and inescapable.

When you hear this voice, you may deny it at first. You will tell yourself that it’s irrational, that now is not the time. However, sooner or later you will realize that this voice won’t go away. It won’t allow you to evade it, because it’s a part of you. Once you hear this voice, it plants a seed that roots so deeply into your mind, that you have no option but to heed it.

This voice is telling you to do something out of the ordinary. It’s a deeper intuition shining through, illuminating your discontent with your current life situation. This voice may be telling you to quit your job and follow your dreams. It may be telling you to pursue the love of your life or to leave it all behind to start fresh in a distant culture.

But any big life change requires a leap of faith. Big life changes aren’t just handed to us. We need to step out of our comfort zones and embrace the possibility of things going wrong. We may feel exposed, vulnerable, and lack direction. This is why people seldom take a leap of faith because it’s daunting.

Out of fear of things going wrong, many people suppress this voice telling them to take a leap of faith and trust that it will work out. But this is no way to live; growing old without truly living. Living in the familiar is safe, but it gets us nowhere. In my eyes, experiencing challenges, confronting fears, and getting yourself into stressful situations is a fair price to pay to not look back on your life regretting how you wasted it away, and never truly lived.

The worst thing you can do is let your life pass you by without pursuing the opportunities that come to you. This is why we’re going to look at how you can take a leap of faith and step out of the familiar trust, to live the life you deserve.

Why take a leap of faith?

At the airport before spending a year traveling South America by myself in 2016. My first big leap of faith that changed the course of my life.

When I was younger, I couldn’t handle the challenges life was throwing at me. I was unfulfilled because I wasn’t even close to the life I wanted to live, yet I was too afraid to pursue my dreams because, at the time, I thought I wasn’t capable of achieving the things I wanted.

Long story short, I went through an awakening process and saw life with brand-new eyes. Now I had a decision to make; I could continue living the same stagnant life which was familiar but painful, or take a leap of faith and step into the unknown.

It was daunting, but I knew that if I wanted to create a major change in my life, I had to take a leap of faith. So I moved to Brazil and spent a year backpacking South America. During this trip, I fulfilled so many needs that were previously unmet such as living an adventurous life, making great friends, and finally having a good dating life.

I could have stayed in Australia which provided stability and security, but spending my life in the same set and setting was scarier than facing the fear and taking a leap of faith.

Instead of following the beaten track, I followed my heart. I moved to Vietnam to teach English and pursued a nomadic lifestyle. It has now been 8 years traveling the world, working various jobs, and constantly embarking on new adventures.

If I never made the leap, my life would have taken a very different direction. That’s the thing… It’s easy to get complacent. It’s easy to stay in the same situations which may be comfortable, yet unfulfilling.

Living in a shamanic medicine community in Peru, 2024, 8 years after I began traveling

Take a leap of faith meaning

Taking a leap of faith implies stepping into the unknown, often to pursue a new opportunity. It’s called a leap of faith because the outcome is uncertain and a risk is involved, but you have faith that this new life venture will work out, which is why you embark on it.

It’s important to take a leap of faith sometimes because life tends to stay the same if you don’t. I always suggest taking a leap of faith if a potentially great opportunity arises, but there are a few things I want to talk about here.

You need to follow your heart.

Don’t leap unless it’s in the right direction. If you’re pursuing an opportunity that may not be in your highest interest, you may stumble and regret it. Big decisions in your life should be met with your heart. It should be something you truly want to do because if your heart isn’t in it, it’s less likely to work out for you.

Be calculated.

Although you want to follow your heart, don’t leap into blind faith. You need to be somewhat calculated about what you’re doing, and strategically think about how you can make the situation work out. Although you may have no control over the outcome, you need to be relatively grounded with your decision, considering you may not be able to take it back.

Realize there is a risk.

Taking a leap of faith implies there is a risk involved. As with any venture into the unknown, there is a risk. You might regret the decision. Maybe the opportunity will fall apart mid-leap. Needless to say, risks are involved when you take a leap of faith, but who ever said a little risk is a bad thing?

Staying in the same situation also poses a risk. You risk missing out on amazing new opportunities that could improve your life. You risk rejecting situations that could help you.

Therefore, risk shouldn’t be perceived as a deterrent, but it should be acknowledged. If you’re taking a leap of faith, you will have some control over the situation, but a lot of it will be out of your control too.

Changing up your life is a good thing. Even if your life is pretty cushy right now, life change is a gateway to growth, personal transformation, and exciting new adventures. Don’t be afraid to change things up because life passes quickly, and you don’t want to be the person sitting on their deathbed wishing they did things a little differently.

With that said, if you still feel inclined to move forward, let’s explore how you can do it most gracefully.

How to take a leap of faith

Now let’s explore how to take a leap of faith if you’re feeling daunted by the decision.

If you’re in a situation where you’re torn between worlds and not sure which path to take, take some time for yourself before making a decision. I suggest meditating, reflecting, and listening to your inner voice.

When I’m faced with a big decision, I have discovered a handy technique to help clarify which path is in my highest interest.

I think about what my higher self would do. This is the best version of myself who is walking my highest timeline. I visualize this version of myself and imagine what he would do if he was in my situation.

Therefore, think about what your higher self would do in your situation. To do this, imagine the best version of yourself who you strive to become. What does he/she look like? What experiences have they had? What characteristics and qualities do they have?

Now imagine that your idealized version of yourself is in your position right now. What would they do? Visualize it, feel it, and model after it. By putting yourself into the highest timeline, you’re more likely to make the right decisions.

Clarify why you’re doing it

I want to ask you, what is your motive behind taking the leap of faith? More importantly, what place does it come from?

Are you making the decision from a place of anger or resentment? Perhaps out of a place of frustration, shame, or guilt? Are you thinking about making this decision to impress your peers or because you fear the consequences of not doing it?

If you said yes to any of the above, I urge you to consider this decision wisely.

Decisions made from a place of pain generally aren’t good decisions. They’re not coming from your heart and could be an act of self-sabotage which you want to be wary of. It’s more likely to be an impulsive decision if it comes from a place of pain, rather than a well-thought-out decision that serves your highest interest.

If your reason for taking this leap of faith comes from a good place, then this is a much better reason to act on it. Maybe you want to take a leap of faith because the opportunity excites you, even though it’s scary. Perhaps you have the itch for some adventure of change in your life and want to see where new roads may take you. Maybe you resonate with the new opportunity, and you believe it could lead to a better life.

Taking a leap of faith from a good place makes a world of difference. Therefore, think about what your incentive is, and if you’re moving towards something, or running away. Think about what feelings are conjured when you think about this decision. Does it inspire you, or deflate you?

Listen to your gut instinct

I want to stress the importance of listening to your intuition. Your intuition is like a compass. Many times I have relied on my intuition to find the best route to take. Sometimes opportunities have presented themselves that just felt wrong, and I made sure to steer clear of them.

So make sure you’re always listening to that inner voice rather than the louder, logical mind – even if they’re pointing in different directions. When you’re on the right track, you will discover a deeper fulfillment in your life and intuitively know you made a good decision.

Acknowledge the fear

Let’s face it. Taking a leap of faith is scary. You will be stepping out of your comfort zone and may have mixed emotions due to that.

Often, people back out of good opportunities because they’re afraid of what may go wrong. It’s uncertain, which is why it’s a leap of faith. If you knew the outcome, it wouldn’t be much of a leap, but rather a step toward certainty.

Therefore, it’s important to determine whether fear is holding you back, or whether the decision is not in your best interest.

If you feel the decision isn’t good for you because it’s not in alignment with what you want to do, then don’t do it. However, if your hesitation comes from fear, and you intuitively do want to do it, then you should.

By determining whether the barrier is fear, you can more accurately gauge whether taking the leap of faith is a good thing for you.

Commit to the decision

Once you know that the decision feels right to make, you need to commit to it. It’s too easy to back out and stay in the familiar, which is why you need to reach a point where you whole-heartedly make the decision and follow through with it.

From this point, you need to commit before hesitation creeps back in. It’s natural to feel a little out of place after you take a leap of faith. You might wonder if you made the right decision, and feel uneasy. This is a natural stage of acclimatizing to your new life situation, and understand that it will take some time to get into your groove.

But don’t worry, this is normal. Your commitment will keep you on track, knowing there is no going back now. Keep pushing forward and finding familiarity in your new life.

Have faith that everything will work out

In my eyes, faith is priceless, especially when you’re stepping into the unknown. We tend to resist what’s happening when things get difficult, but resistance only creates more suffering.

Therefore, don’t resist your feelings. Don’t resist where the universe is taking you, believing that everything will work out in the end. Sure, it may be a bumpy road but have faith that it’s for the best and that sooner or later, your life situation will look bright.

At the end of the day, everything is an experience, regardless of what label you give the experience. If you experience life with a growth mindset, there are no bad decisions, only different decisions.

With this mentality, you can’t lose, even if everything goes wrong. At the end of the day, your story is still being written, and you will get back on your feet. I’m not saying that you should anticipate things going wrong, but if you’re challenged, look at the opportunity within it.

Final thoughts

It’s important to be calculated and to give some serious thought to any big decision you make in your life. But keep in mind, that sometimes it’s best to move forward in life, even if it’s daunting.

Taking the leap of faith into the unknown can transform your life in ways you are unable to yet anticipate, and redirect the trajectory of your life. I often hear people regret not taking a leap of faith and jumping on an opportunity that they were afraid to pursue, and I seldom hear people regret taking the leap into the unknown.

The fear barrier is the hardest part to overcome, and usually, this is what causes people to stay in the same situation they have always known because they don’t decide to change their lives. Therefore, if you have thought about what we’ve discussed in this article, and you still want to take the leap, I suggest throttling forward and not looking back.

12 February 2022
How To Break Through The Fear Barrier And Start Thriving!

Fear is one of the biggest barriers you’ll encounter in your life. It’s the wall separating you from your potential, and anyone on a personal growth journey will need to face it sooner or later.

We all experience fear to some degree. When kept on a leash, it can even do us some good. However, the problem occurs when people allow fear to dictate their lives, so they never do anything out of the ordinary. They never get out of their comfort zone or take a risk.

You might believe that living cautiously is a virtue, but caution becomes a handicap when it’s rooted in fear.

As someone who has now spent many years traveling the world, my life would never be what it has become if I didn’t embrace the possibility of things going wrong. Despite what I’ve achieved, I am constantly facing fears, and life has become an act of navigating them.

Let’s look at some approaches to overcome the fear barrier and move forward in your life.

What is the fear barrier?

The fear barrier is the perceived wall between you and your envisioned reality. It’s that little voice telling you it’s not worth the risk, or you would be a fool for trying.

We all have different approaches to tackling this wall. Some people burst through it in a single attempt. Some slowly chip away at it while others simply step through it.

Then there are the people who look at this wall and turn back. The wall is too high. It’s too daunting. It’s not worth the risk. They never even attempt to break through this wall, because they’re scared of what could happen.

Unfortunately, this uncomfortable sensation is often misinterpreted, and this is where avoidance arises. Although doing something you’re afraid of can be daunting, the consequences of failing are usually highly exaggerated.

This is why it’s important to discern what is a threat to the ego, and what is an actual threat. Instead of being impaired by fear, become aware of what you fear and take appropriate steps to neutralize it.

Acknowledge your fears

In the past, I could barely hold a conversation, let alone travel indefinitely by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel fear regularly. I still shy away from good opportunities sometimes because I am afraid, but I’ve developed a deeper understanding.

The regret that ensues after caving into fear is always much worse than the pain of failing. There have been many instances where I didn’t overcome a fear barrier, and I always regretted shying away from something I knew I should have done.

The best adventures in my life have been the result of acknowledging my fears and doing it anyway. Yes, I may fail. It might end up disastrously. But I am willing to go through that pain if it means avoiding the pain of backing out and being a colossal disappointment to myself.

The point is not to pretend fear doesn’t exist, because it does, and it always will. You need to acknowledge your fear, feel it deeply, and do it anyway. When it’s acknowledged, then you can use it as a mechanism that serves you.

Using fear as a compass

When your gut instinct tells you to do something you’re afraid to do, that fear is a compass pointing you toward growth. You’re always going to have some fear around certain things, but repetition helps you get used to the activity that triggers the fear response.

For example, if you’re nervous about going on a date, you might need to go on many dates until the fear response subsides. Even after many dates, you will still feel nervous sometimes, but now you know how to manage that feeling better.

The fear surrounding doing something new is a compass. It’s telling you that if you push forward and do it anyway, you will grow. You will gain the associated competence, and your life experiences will become more expansive.

Over the years, I’ve learned to look at fear in a way that instills opportunity rather than dread. I now associate feelings of fear with growth by using each opportunity to chip away at this barrier.

This is the perception you need to adopt. Fear can be a very useful tool as long as you see it for what it is – an opportunity to expand yourself.

Why you need to overcome your fear

I think we all know the feeling of disappointment when we cave into fear. I’m sure you can think back to at least one instance when fear got the best of you, and maybe you still regret it today.

Fear itself can be uncomfortable, but the feeling of being bound by it is unbearable. When you allow fear to dictate your choices, you close doors to potentially life-changing opportunities.

Sometimes it’s easier to avoid going to an event by yourself because you may not make friends. Sometimes it’s easier to turn down invitations because you don’t know how it will turn out. But are you ever glad that you skipped these opportunities? Imagine where previous opportunities you forfeited could have led you. How would your life be different today?

Fear confines you within your comfort zone which might feel safe, but it’s where dreams go to die. If you avoid public speaking because you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself, this avoidance will prevent you from building the essential skills and experience, needed to succeed in that area of your life.

The mental toll of living in a constant state of fear is grim. When you’re experiencing fear, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and self-worth issues if not kept under wraps. If you regularly cave in, that fear can have some pretty big repercussions on your self-esteem.

How to break the fear barrier

Fear is your friend because it indicates a growth opportunity, as long as you aren’t in real danger.

When you feel fear about meeting someone new, traveling by yourself, or giving a public speech, this feeling illuminates an area in which you don’t feel competent. That feeling of fear indicates that if you push through the barrier and do it anyway, you will become a stronger and more capable person.

In this sense, fear is a prerequisite for growth, because growth doesn’t occur when you don’t challenge yourself. Every time you leverage fear to step out of your comfort zone, the more your quality of life will improve.

Let’s look into some ways that you can push through the fear barrier, and leverage this uncomfortable feeling for growth.

Desensitize fear via repetition

Make a habit of recognizing fear and take small steps towards it every time you feel it. By repeatedly doing something you’re afraid of, you’ll begin to desensitize from those uncomfortable feelings, and the less daunting it will become.

I used to be terrified of introducing myself to people, so I avoided it at all costs. The cost was to live in a lonely bubble with a major fear of missing out, so I worked on it.

At bars, I would make an effort to talk to random people. I started doing it more and more in social settings, even if it was strange or awkward because I didn’t know what to say. However, I knew that I could spend the whole night thinking about it, and it wouldn’t get me any closer to the result.

Sometimes, you just need to jump into the deep end to sink or swim.

When I started traveling, I pushed myself to meet people because otherwise, I wouldn’t make connections. I had to meet people in every new city I arrived in. Over time, I became pretty good at it.

Many people now think of me as an outgoing person. Even though I still feel that fear, I’ve gotten used to it. I know that if I mess up, it’s not the end of the world.

Doing something you’re afraid of frequently doesn’t mean that you’ll never experience the concomitant fear again, but it will become easier because you gain the associated competence.

Feel the failure

Failure can be a big source of fear and prevent us from attempting to succeed in the first place. Worrying about negative outcomes is a fear barrier, and when you’re contemplating doing something or not because you’re afraid of failing, sit with that sensation.

Envision yourself failing and going through the motions. Maybe you feel shame, guilt, embarrassment. Play out the situation in your mind’s eye and sit with those uncomfortable feelings.

The more you acknowledge failure and sit with the feelings you’re afraid of, the more you’ll realize that failure isn’t such a big deal. We tend to drum up failure to be much worse than it is. Therefore, it becomes daunting and acts as a fear barrier.

Failure helps you learn via trial and error, and become better at any given thing you do. It’s important to see the learning curve with anything you do because you must get used to failure – at least if you want to taste success.

So get used to the idea of failing and sit with the feelings that come up when you envision failure. This is how you will recognize failure as a core ingredient for success.

Use mental rehearsal techniques

Envisioning your success in vivid detail can help you build a roadmap to it. Of course, sometimes you just need to do it. Other times, knowing exactly what you’re going to do can ease the nerves.

This is where mental rehearsal techniques can come in handy.

Mental rehearsal is a technique where you visualize the process of doing something successfully. In this sense, you’re mentally preparing yourself for a positive outcome, and setting yourself up for success.

I often use mental rehearsal techniques when I’m feeling quite nervous about something. I’ve used it to envision myself arriving at an event – playing out in detail how I can talk to people and have fun. I’ve mentally rehearsed podcast episodes and videos as a way to prepare myself.

I’m not saying you should be reliant on this technique. However, if you’re nervous about something that’s coming up, mental rehearsal techniques can be a good aid.

Follow your gut instinct

When you’re feeling fear about something, your mind will play games with you. You may be conned into believing that you should back out. During these moments, it can be hard to discern when fear is speaking, and when the true self is speaking.

This is why you need to draw a line.

Your mind will play games with you, but your heart will never deceive you. If you focus on your intuition rather than the fear coaxing you out of the opportunity, a deeper wisdom will shine through. This wisdom will know what the right answer is.

When I felt confused about making big decisions in my life that I was afraid of, I learned to tap into the wisdom of my heart. During these big decisions, even though scary, I found I had no option. A part of me would never forgive myself if I backed out, because I knew I would not be fulfilled.

If you feel lighter thinking about doing something that you don’t want to do, then you should do it anyway. Trust the wisdom of your heart, and you instinctively know what decision is right to make.

Apply some pressure

Nobody likes the feeling of pressure, however, pressure is a powerful tool.

Too much pressure can cause you to melt down and stifle your progress. Having no pressure at all leads to complacency because you have no incentive at all. It’s best to find a middle ground where you have some pressure to propel you, however, it’s not overbearing.

Think about it this way.

If you’re in a desperate situation with no money, you’re not going to be productive due to the overwhelming stress. If you have a passive income and don’t need to make money, it’s easy for you to stay in the same position.

However, if you are in a subpar situation and you’re tired of living this way, you may start pushing yourself to actualize and create something because you have an incentive. This is where you will get out of your comfort zone, but it’s not so daunting that it will cause a meltdown.

Therefore, apply some pressure to yourself, and understand what you miss out on if you never try to better yourself.

Be patient with yourself

Part of pushing through the fear barrier is having patience. Getting to a place of competence can be a long journey, and often it takes a lot of failures to get there.

Expect that sometimes you will back out. You will mess up. You will blame yourself and feel like a failure. This is a natural part of the process, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Learning to overcome the fear barrier is a continuous act of recognizing when new opportunities arise, and pushing yourself to act on it when they do. There will always be more opportunities, but you don’t want to use that as an excuse either.

At the end of the day, don’t make the mistake of taking the easy route because it always leads to a dead end. Don’t look back on your life ten years from now and wonder what could have been, because you never had the guts to try.

Recognize that overcoming a fear barrier can be a long journey, one you need to constantly chip away at. But as long as you’re stepping in the right direction, the quality of your life will improve.

19 January 2022
How To Embrace The Next Chapter In Life (And Thrive)
Life can feel cruisy when you’re in routine. You live in a familiar place, go to a familiar job, and see familiar people. You might spend years in a comfortable situation, but sooner or later, everything shifts – leaving you feeling disoriented as if the ground itself has fallen beneath your feet.

See, life has chapters.

Sometimes these chapters are distinct, and sometimes they’re subtle. Sometimes they’re difficult, and sometimes they’re wonderful. Regardless of how stable your life condition seems, each situation will come to an end in its own time.

When it does, it’s time to turn the page.

During these times of transition, you will naturally feel lost because you’ve become accustomed to your life situation. At times, it might feel like the world is ending as you step into an unfamiliar situation.

But… it’s natural.

When one chapter is coming to a close, you can either embrace the next chapter in life knowing that the universe is inevitably nudging you forward, or you can hold on relentlessly to what has already passed.

So let’s at how you can navigate major transitions and embrace the next chapter in life when one is currently coming to a close. New beginnings can be a particularly challenging time as you step away from the safe and familiar, but I promise you that they can be just as beautiful.
What is a new chapter in life?

Like a book, our lives are structured in chapters that unfold through experiences, situations, relationships, and new phases. Each chapter represents a distinct stage of your life, often accompanied by uncertainty, excitement, fear, or a sense of mourning.

A new chapter often begins after significant events that change the trajectory of our lives.

Consider it a new beginning.

Your sense of stability is tied to your life situation, so new chapters can uproot everything and push you into unfamiliar territory – which may not always be the desired outcome. This is why new life chapters can feel so turbulent, especially if you have been in the same situation for a long time because your identity is tied to that familiar situation.

A new beginning might not be what you want, but it’s important to see it as a natural evolution of your life story. After all, if your life situation never changes, your life will be very stagnant. Life is constantly changing, whether you will it or not, and sometimes those changes reshape our entire lives.

A new chapter in life could be:

A career transition: Graduating from school, starting a new job, or pursuing further education.

A change within a relationship: Entering a new relationship, getting married, or going through a breakup.

A change in direction: Changing course when being unfulfilled with your life and doing something different marks a new chapter

Pivotal moments in life: Major life events such as becoming a parent, retiring, or moving to a new city.

Spiritual growth: Rebirths, spiritual awakenings, and changes in your perception of life and oneself.

Recognizing that each chapter is a natural segment in life helps you frame it as a new beginning rather than something you’re losing.

As a new chapter is beginning, we have two options…

We can feel the fear and step into the unknown consciously, knowing that it’s ultimately for the best even if it doesn’t feel like it, or resist it and try to reverse course which leads to more pain.

Starting a new chapter in life can be difficult, but it can also be wonderful. You never know when a new chapter will begin and what it will entail, but when it does, you must step into it.

Recognizing when it’s time to transition

Change is something I’ve become well-accustomed to in life. Time moves on for us all, but I’ve picked a particular life path where the turning chapters are ever apparent. Let me tell you how I deal with big life transitions from my perspective.

Having been traveling for more than 8 years now, there’s not a whole lot of stability in my life. During this time I’ve lived in 8 countries, been in several serious relationships, and worked many jobs in different fields.

Let me tell you about some of the significant chapters of my life in a nutshell…

Like many people, my childhood memories are grounded in the familiarity of my old home. It was a time when everything felt simple. Inevitably, adolescence hit and things got a little rocky. This chapter was tainted with depression and loneliness as I struggled to find myself – and involved some of the most difficult times of my life.

But the real shift happened during my first big adventure: a year studying in Brazil and backpacking across South America. During that year a lot of things happened, and the trajectory of my life dramatically changed.

This was a period of my life where I tasted true freedom. It was a time of self-exploration, meeting incredible people, enjoying a good dating life, and genuinely feeling like I was thriving for the first time. During this year abroad I grew a lot as a person – especially regarding maturity, competence, and independence.

Returning to Australia for the next year, I felt reborn. I had a newfound confidence about the future as I moved in with friends and settled into a rhythm that felt aligned. That momentum carried me to Vietnam where I spent the next three years teaching English, building a lifestyle I loved, traveling often, and diving into a long-term relationship.

From there, I spent eight months in Mexico and Guatemala, volunteering in hostels and embracing the spontaneity of travel. I then landed in the U.S. where I worked in bars and restaurants for the following year. This was a particularly challenging year, but like every chapter, it had its purpose, and it came and went.

Then came a significant turning point: six months spent working at a shamanic healing center in Ecuador. This was a transformative time where I immersed myself in these ancient traditions and felt more connected to my path than ever before.

Returning to Australia after 5 years gave me a chance to reconnect and appreciate family, reflect on these years abroad, and work hard on my projects. Now, back in Latin America, I’m diving deeper into the shamanic traditions and really focusing on creating a financial shift. At the time of writing this, I have been traveling with my current partner for the past 5 months who I met in Peru.

We have thoroughly enjoyed this chapter of life with one another, but as with every situation, all things eventually come to an end. The other day we decided to part ways at the end of the month (she is flying home and I will most likely stay in the country to work). When I read this article again, likely I’ll be in a very different life situation, once again.

But this time, even though there is some sadness, there is joy. There is an excitement for the future, now knowing how to let go of familiarity and go with the flow.

Each chapter has brought its own highlights, challenges, and most importantly, lessons. Looking back, I see the beauty of each phase of my life and appreciate how each distinct phase has molded me into the person I am today.

It’s beautiful because I have been through this many times. Rather than focusing on the loss, I see the joy – the memories we have made together. It will feel disorienting of course having now identified with this situation, but that’s okay. It’s just one more layer of the self-discovery journey.

The changing chapters of my life’s narrative have taught me some important lessons about the nature of impermanence. Life is an impermanent process. Nothing survives the current of time, and all things change, transmute, and perish in their time.

Every situation, every person, and probably the universe itself at some point too. Change is consistent, and nothing lasts forever besides change. From this perspective, big life changes are natural. Life will constantly change and before you know it, your time is coming to an end.

So why fight it? What good will trying to prolong a situation do, knowing that it inevitably must come to an end?

Part of life is allowing it to move on to the next chapter with grace, and the more you step into it without resistance, the more you will embrace the ever-changing flow of life and let it take you where it needs to.

What is the significance of life chapters?

Each new chapter in life represents a new beginning – an evolution in your life journey. View each chapter as a stepping stone for your personal and spiritual growth. If you stay in the same chapter your whole life, the narrative of your life may look a little flat.

As long as the chapters continue turning, your life will never be stagnant. If you’re on a spiritual growth journey, stagnation is something you want to avoid. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable and enjoying your life situation, but it mustn’t compromise your growth.

Likewise, it’s important to recognize that life does its own thing. When the time is ripe, life will find a way to thrust you out of the familiar to experience something new. So the changing of your life isn’t bad, it’s how the world molds you to walk your highest timeline.

Each chapter in life is an invitation for self-reflection, personal growth, and inner change. They’re times to recalibrate and step toward your higher calling.

In my eyes, each chapter serves a different purpose. One chapter may revolve around soul-searching, and another may be dedicated to family, finances, or self-actualization. Each chapter in life teaches us different things – and should be perceived as another segment of the never-ending personal growth journey.

This is why you need to embrace the next chapter in your life and recognize when life is nudging you forward.
Why you need to embrace the next chapter in life

When you’re embarking on a new chapter in life, feeling some fear is normal. After all, you become familiar with your situation regardless of whether that situation serves you or not. Even if that familiar situation causes you pain, that pain is home.

Naturally, it’s going to feel scary to strip yourself away from something you have identified with. The longer you have identified with that particular situation or circumstance, the more daunting it will be when it comes to an end.

Your life situation is always progressing, and you can never go back to the way things were. You can either embrace the next chapter in life and let it take you for a ride, or deny life change and suffocate in it. A plant will never outgrow the pot it sits in. Your mind needs to feed, and if you always give it the same food, it will starve.

You can still have fond memories of your past, but we all grow, develop, and change. We all have changing interests, values, and identities. If you’re changing internally but refusing to allow your life situation to mold, you’re going to outgrow your enclosure.

Your enclosure – Your setting, interests, and the people you associate with also need to expand. Your external reality must accommodate the changes in your internal reality, otherwise, you’re going to hold yourself back.

People can spend their entire lives in the same situation which leads to stagnation. These people develop an aversion to anything unfamiliar, which results in a detrimental habit of staying in your comfort zone.

When you recognize the subtle signs of stagnation or an unexplainable pull toward something new, even if it’s unknown, is a trigger. This is a sign that it’s time to step into something new.

Often, feelings of restlessness or a recurring desire for change signals that you’re ready to take a leap of faith. Other times, external circumstances such as the end of a relationship, transitioning into the workforce, or completing a big project create a natural juncture for transition.

If you’re unsure whether it’s time for a new chapter, ask yourself:

Do you feel a sense of fulfillment with where you are?

Are you growing, or do you feel like you’re in a loop?

Do you feel like you’re outgrowing your current situation?

Are you curious to try something different and change things up?

Transitions will happen passively of course, but you can also create them. Recognizing when to transition is ultimately about aligning your actions with your evolving aspirations, values, and goals, and taking steps towards your desired future.

[block_content id=”32159″]
How to embrace the next chapter in life

Embracing a new chapter in life can be a particularly difficult process, so here we’re going to look at how you can make this transition with grace, and step forward into the next phase of your life.

As we’ve mentioned earlier in this article, it’s good to see each new chapter as a stepping stone towards a better life. Sometimes we need to put in some hard yards and step into territory we would prefer not to, but ultimately it’s for the best.

When there is a big transition in my life, I like to think of it from a spiritual perspective. I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason and that the universe will continue pushing us closer to our highest timeline as long as we are open to the lessons and work with our life circumstances rather than resist them.

This perspective definitely helps me see the bigger picture of it all, and step into change rather than quiver at the thought of it.

Look at life as a journey where each stage of your life takes you to the next. Reflecting on past lessons and using your life situation as a springboard for self-discovery is important – therefore you always have something to gain.

This shift may also mean reevaluating old beliefs or patterns that no longer serve you. New beginnings are a time of spiritual cleansing. They’re a time to let go of the baggage and move towards the emotions, mindsets, beliefs, people, and circumstances that serve you.

Likewise, recalibrating and thinking about what you want your life to look like is also important when embracing the next chapter in life. Setting intentions, visualizing your goals, and taking action to move in the direction of your highest good helps you adapt to your new path and smooths out the transition.

Remember, life change is good.

There is so much to gain by going through new situations, feeling new emotions, and getting out of your comfort zone. When you become more familiar with a broad range of different experiences, you gain inner stability that isn’t bound to attachments, situations, or people.

It’s freeing.

Strive to create as much positive change as you can in your life, and your life will only get better.

How to emotionally prepare for a big life transition

Sometimes these big life transitions are expected, and you consciously create them. At other times, they will hit you like a train and destabilize your reality. At times you may not have the luxury if you’re thrown into it, but if you do, some mental preparation goes a long way.

To prepare emotionally, focus on building self-compassion, forgive yourself for any perceived failures, and let go of expectations. Stepping into a new chapter in life may be similar to what you expected, and it may be drastically different.

You just don’t know, and that’s part of the charm – the uncertainty. Accepting that some anxiety or discomfort is part of the process can ease the stress of entering a new phase.

Being open to new experiences is also important. Remind yourself that growth is inherently uncomfortable, but it’s also deeply rewarding.

Words have power, so the vocabulary you use when referring to this new chapter sets the tone. If you’re constantly telling yourself how horrible it is, then this next chapter of your life is going to be laced with pain. If you switch your tone and look at the positives, then it may be a very different experience.

Choosing language that feels motivating can reinforce a positive outlook on the transition. I’ve recently learned just how powerful perspective is, and it can make a world of difference. Your perspective can change a situation from being awful – to being exciting.

You just need to tap into the positive emotions surrounding the experience, even if there seem to be few because there is always another side of the coin with any situation.

This is where cognitive reframing is a handy tool.

Instead of framing a new chapter as an ending or loss, try seeing it as an opportunity, fresh start, or new adventure. As I’m soon to be going in a different direction from someone I care about, sure it’s sad, but I think about the adventure. The freedom. The opportunities and experiences I couldn’t have while I was with this partner.

Suddenly, I feel a whole lot better about the situation. It may take time, especially if you are hurting. So do the healing, mourn if you need to mourn, honor the time you had in that situation, and then focus on the silver lining.

When you are mentally prepared, here’s how you can tackle big life transitions:

Stepping into the unknown with grace

Cultivate the desire for change:
We’ve already talked about some of the benefits of changing up your life situation, now you need to actively seek out those benefits. Rather than dwelling on what has passed, set your eyes on the doorways that are opening.

Have trust that it’s all happening for a reason:
What helps me navigate difficult transitions is my faith in god. I always trust that things will be okay in the end and that sooner or later the turbulent transition will segway to something much better. Therefore, have trust that it will all work out, and before you know it you’re going to be in a better position than you once were.

Let go of what no longer serves you:
When a situation in your life ends, it’s because that situation no longer serves you. Maybe it did for a while, but eventually, the universe is going to nudge you along – and deeper into your spiritual journey. Let the past go with grace, perhaps holding fond memories, but knowing that the universe is moving you on for a reason – for you.

Pursue the next opportunity that arises:
As they say, when one door closes another door opens. When you’re in a transition period, seek out new opportunities and see where they may lead you. Look at the opportunity for change in everything you do. I can guarantee you that something great is just around the corner, so find out what it is.

Navigating major life transitions is generally not an easy process. However, you should be active about it. It’s important to start calibrating to the life you truly want and using this period of transition as a catalyst for growth.

Remember to always embrace the next chapter in life, for better or for worse (although it’s never really for worse), and you’re walking a path to beautiful new places.

I wish you all the best in this next chapter of life, make it count!
23 March 2021
Here’s Why Life Begins Where The Comfort Zone Ends

Have you ever heard the saying ‘Life begins where the comfort zone ends?’ Well, turns out there’s a whole lot of truth to it. Staying in your comfort zone is like drinking a slow slow-acting poison. At first, it feels great, but then slowly over time, the quality of your life deteriorates, leaving you with unfilled desires and a whole lot of regrets.

Your comfort zone is one of the biggest barriers you’ll face in your life because naturally, people seek comfort at the expense of new experiences. Compounding the issue, the comfort zone poses as the good guy: The protector who keeps you safe, when in reality it’s your prison warden.

Unfortunately, many people die in this mental prison cell under the illusion that they’re better off there. So how can you make sure you don’t suffer the same fate? Let’s have a look at why people say life begins where the comfort zone ends, and how you can learn to prioritize doing things that you’re a little bit scared to do – for your own growth, learning, and happiness.

What is the comfort zone?

The comfort zone refers to your realm of familiarity. Anything that prevents you from changing because it’s unfamiliar and daunting is outside of your comfort zone. But the only reason it’s outside of your comfort zone is because you haven’t yet built the familiarity, competence, and comfort with that activity.

See, it can be a paradox. We often don’t push ourselves to do things we’re not familiar with doing because they’re daunting. But the only way to become familiar with these activities is by getting out of your comfort zone and doing them.

Even though the comfort zone acts as a haven, it’s also restrictive. Personal growth involves pushing yourself, trying new things, and sailing into uncharted territory that may be uncomfortable, but necessary for your own good – which is why the comfort zone is a natural enemy of it.

This is why we say that life begins where the comfort zone ends because life is very restrictive when we spend it inside the comfort zone. It’s not until we begin stepping out of it that life starts to fruit in various ways.

So let’s look at what you can do to break out of this trap of familiarity so that you can get the most out of your life experience.

Why the comfort zone is not your friend

Image your comfort zone as a bubble – a cozy warm bubble where everything is safe and familiar. This might involve going to work, seeing the same friends, and doing the same things. These activities are ordinary to you because you’re always doing them, meaning you’re not stretching yourself in any way which leads to complacency.

If you have driven a car for a while, you are probably comfortable driving it, therefore that activity is inside your comfort zone. But if you’re starting a new job in a different industry, you’re not familiar with that process, therefore it’s probably outside your comfort zone because it likely makes you feel nervous, anxious, or daunted.

The comfort zone is deceptive because it deters you from doing things that you’re a little afraid of doing. Instead of pushing yourself and growing, you settle for the mundane.

Some people will avoid doing anything outside of their daily routine. They will avoid trying new things, meeting new people, having new experiences, or taking risks. Instead of exploring their realities and discovering new paths to walk (and that they may find a lot of happiness in), they stick to what they know. There’s nothing wrong with a little comfort, but avoiding anything that you’re uncomfortable with leads to a stagnant and unfulfilling life.

You might be offered a new job but fear the consequences of leaving your old one. You could have the urge to travel but worry about everything that may go wrong. You might be lonely and want to expand your social circles, but get anxious when meeting new people.

Even if the worst happens, it’s usually not as bad as we’ve built it up to be. But you don’t do it anyway! So you stay in the same painful circumstances while your life ticks away. But if you did make a habit of facing the discomfort of doing new things, your quality of life would become so much better.

I encourage you not to get too comfortable. You deserve the best life possible, and you can only have that life by constantly stretching yourself in ways that don’t always feel so good.

If you want to get the full experience out of life, you need to make a habit of stretching yourself regularly. The best experiences in life are usually the result of doing what you were once afraid to do.

Therefore it’s important to do what you can to expand your comfort zone, break the fear barrier, and expose yourself to the unfamiliar.

Examples of comfort zones (Different types of comfort zones)

Now that we’ve briefly looked at what comfort zones are, here are some examples of comfort zones across different areas of life. While you may feel confident and competent in one area of your life, it doesn’t mean you do in all of them. Regardless, it’s important to identify where your fears lie and take proactive steps to overcome them.

1. Social Comfort Zones

Social comfort zones are probably one of the most challenging areas for people in general, especially those who are shy or introverted. A social comfort zone pertains to your comfort in engaging in social events, meeting new people, striking up conversations, etc. As people are a big part of life, struggling to get out of your social comfort zone can have major consequences on the quality of your life.

People who struggle with this form of comfort zone tend to stick with the same group of friends, avoid meeting new people, avoid speaking up or asserting boundaries, refuse to network or pursue new opportunities that arise, and stay in familiar social environments like their home or the same cafe/restaurant.

2. Career Comfort Zones

Another example of a comfort zone is within your career. Sometimes people get complacent in their job, even if it’s far from ideal – just because they’re familiar with it. Of course, if you want to climb the ladder and make the most out of your life, you will need to get uncomfortable in your work life sometimes, because that’s how you build your competence, knowledge, and skillsets.

People who are in their career comfort zone tend to stick to the same role for years and avoid taking on new challenges or pursuing promotions. They generally stay in the same line of work, even if they hate it because it’s familiar territory – it feels secure. Likewise, they also tend to stick to the safe and familiar and not take healthy risks such as volunteering for new projects, speaking up in meetings, or suggesting innovative ideas.

In my life for example, I was definitely out of my comfort zone when I started coaching people and stepping into shamanic healing. At times I thought it would be easier to just stick to what I know – such as teaching English, but luckily the drive for life change overrode the desire to do something that wasn’t fulfilling. The more I did it, the more competent I became to the point it became second nature.

3. Lifestyle Comfort Zones

The lifestyle comfort zone is another example of a limitation in life. A lifestyle comfort zone refers to being stuck in the same patterns, programs, and routines, and generally repeating them endlessly because you’re comfortable with them.

This type of comfort zone often involves sticking to familiar meals instead of trying new cuisines or cooking methods. It often involves staying in your current living situation (house, apartment, city, job) even if it isn’t ideal, having the same daily/weekly routines, and not pursuing new hobbies or interests because trying something new is intimidating.

4. Financial Comfort Zones

People often get comfortable in their financial situation, and don’t strive to change it. Even people who don’t have much money and resultingly live a subpar life because of it may find solace in the ‘stability’ of an unideal situation. If you feel daunted about improving your financial situation or striving to do bigger things with your life, it could be because you’re stuck in your financial comfort zone.

The financial comfort zone involves avoiding budgeting or saving for things you could really use, and avoiding pursuing financial goals, planning, and investing. You are also likely to self-sabotage or avoid pursuing bigger goals that could potentially change your financial situation because you prefer the certainty of living the way you have always known.

5. Wellness Comfort Zones

The wellness comfort zone refers to staying within the bounds of comfort regarding your health and wellness habits. This may involve sticking to a bad diet because it’s normal, avoiding exercise even if you’re overweight, and refusing to go to therapy, even if you’re struggling and can’t seem to get over it, just because it’s normal.

Unfortunately, many people do things that aren’t good their their health and wellness because they find comfort in doing those things. Avoid this trap and make some uncomfortable decisions to better your wellness. Your future self will thank you, trust me.

6. Emotional Comfort Zones

The emotional comfort zone is an example of staying in the safe and familiar when it comes to emotional expression and connection. People who are accustomed to behaving or expressing themselves in a certain way may not want to change because they’re familiar with it, even if there are better alternatives.

For example, if you avoid opening up to people because you’ve always been that way, even if you desperately want stronger social connections, then this may be because you’re staying in your emotional comfort zone. It can involve holding onto the way you were raised because it feels natural, even if it’s not healthy, resisting challenging your beliefs and mindsets instead of exploring new perspectives and staying in unhealthy relationships where you’re unhappy.

7. Personal Growth Comfort Zones

Getting stuck in the personal growth comfort zone is often why we don’t pursue great personal growth opportunities and work on ourselves. First of all, personal growth can be tough because it often makes us uncomfortable when stretching ourselves and confronting aspects of our lives that we prefer not to. Of course, it’s easier to just not work on ourselves, but then nothing will change. After all, it’s called ‘working’ on ourselves for a reason.

Some people prefer to stay as who they are, even if it causes them to suffer. Likewise, we become familiar with ourselves, and where we currently are. Changing who we are is a threat to the ego, and can be a big enough incentive not to change at all. So more often than not, people don’t strive to better themselves which is a sad reality.

Some examples of a personal growth comfort zone include avoiding pushing yourself, trying new things, facing fears, confronting your demons, or developing new skills. In this comfort zone, you are likely to stick to familiar habits even if they are detrimental to your personal growth.

8. Adventure comfort zone

The last example of a comfort zone I want to address here is your comfort zone relating to your sense of adventure in life. This is what people often think of when someone mentions ‘comfort zone’ – like going bungee jumping, or traveling the world solo. Yes, these are part of the adventure comfort zone, but the adventure comfort zone involves a whole lot more than this.

For example, someone who avoids traveling to new places, seeing new things, and only sticks to familiar places is staying in this comfort zone. Likewise, someone who doesn’t try out new activities or hobbies whether it’s hiking, swimming, traveling, or sightseeing is likely stuck in their comfort zone.

How to expand your comfort zone

To start something new, there will usually be some fear around it. Because life begins where the comfort zone ends, you should make a habit of pushing yourself a little harder to expand your realm of comfort and raise the quality of your life.

But don’t worry…

Having some fear is completely natural when doing something that you’re not familiar with. However, until you push through that barrier, it will always be a fear which is why it’s better to tackle it sooner than later, because you’re just doing yourself a disservice if you don’t.

So let’s have a look at some things you can do to get out of your comfort zone.

Change your outlook

A big part of getting out of your comfort zone relates to the way you think about things. People tend to stay in their comfort zones because they have limiting belief systems telling them to.

The mind will tell them that it’s not worth it, or it’s too difficult, or that everything is fine the way it is. When you’re stepping into the unknown, the mind can become your worst enemy. That’s why it’s very important to address your mindsets and identify whether they are helping you, or reinforcing the already big wall that you need to climb.

Get into the habit of challenging your belief systems, and when you win the support of your mind, everything will change.

Look into your fears

To start something new, there will usually be some fear around it. This is completely natural when doing something that you’re not familiar with. Until you push through that barrier, it remains a daunting mystery. It remains uncertain, and you don’t know how much value it can add to your life until you try it.

But if you don’t look into these fears, it will always be a mystery as to why you feel so daunted to do that new thing. Therefore, when you’re feeling a deep fear about changing something up, sit with those feelings and look into them. Are they rational or irrational? Are they based on past experiences, or where do you think they came from?

The more you look into your fears, the easier it will become to step into the unknown.

Expose yourself to new things regularly

Exposure erodes uncertainty. Repetition leads to familiarity.

If you talk to new people every day, the practice becomes easier. Eventually, you become comfortable with meeting new people because it becomes second nature. Later down the track, you might question your life without those people, but you would never know unless you took the opportunity to be uncomfortable.

There is only one path to familiarity, and that’s by doing it anyway. Realize that most fear is exacerbated, and every time you do something it gets easier. All you need to do is push yourself to take the first step in a new direction, and you will not regret it.

Jump on new opportunities

Start by pursuing more opportunities in your life, and spicing it up a little. Likely you don’t realize just how many opportunities you have all the time, because subconsciously you don’t want to acknowledge them.

So be observant of all the opportunities around you, and push yourself to jump on them. Of course, you don’t need to go full throttle on this, but start dipping your toes in uncharted waters. If you get an invitation for a social event and you’re nervous that you won’t know anyone or it will be awkward for you, you should do it anyway. It’s good exposure, and it’s making the commitment that matters.

The more commitments you make to new opportunities that present themselves, the better off you’re going to be.

Be patient with results

We all suck on Day-One. Nobody can shortcut this process of gradually learning and gaining the associated competence. You need to go through the process of trial and error to become proficient at something. There is always a learning curve to anything you do in life, and this learning curve is an essential part of your development.

So don’t expect yourself to do well, just do it. Just start, and then start improving. Perhaps a reason why you’re not getting out of your comfort zone is because you have too high expectations. Focus on just doing the thing, not succeeding at it.

Be honest with yourself

You need to be honest with yourself. This means to acknowledge why you’re holding back. Transparency is a crucial component because if you’re always making excuses, you’ll think you never have a problem!

You need to draw a line between something not being for you because you genuinely don’t think you will enjoy the activity, and holding back because you’re afraid of doing it. Therefore, cultivate an awareness of why you’re not pushing yourself, and notice every time an opportunity to do so arises.

Your life begins where the comfort zone ends

In this article we’ve looked at a fairly comprehensive view of the comfort zone, and why people hold themselves back. Now that you’re aware of the different facets of this matter, it’s time to take the initiative and create some movement in your life.

As long as you remember that life begins where the comfort zone ends, you will always remind yourself that stepping into the unknown is a good thing to do. So start chipping away at this elusive bubble, and don’t settle for a life not worth living.

24 February 2021
How You Can Overcome The Fear Of Death With A Simple Change Of Perspective
For many of us, the fear of death is a major barrier that prevents us from living our best lives. We naturally have some fear of death because it’s a complete unknown, but is there anything we can do to overcome it?

Of course there is, but it requires a change of perspective.

Death has long been a taboo subject in Western society. It’s seldom discussed, and people go to great lengths to avoid the topic until it’s right at their doorstep.

But instead of seeing death as a dark eerie unknown, what if we could change our perception of it? How can we learn to celebrate death as a natural and inevitable part of life instead of an unquestionable horror? A big part of this perception shift simmers down to our conception of spirituality, and our beliefs regarding life after death.

This article is here to help you overcome your fear of death by looking at it from a higher perspective. Let’s look at what you can do to get rid of this limiting fear, and birth a new view that facilitates a limitless life.
Why do we have a fear of death?

It’s natural to have some fear of death. After all, death is the biggest encounter with truth we will ever have. Nobody knows exactly what happens after we die, or if life goes on at all. After all, people tend to fear the unknown, losing control, and suffering… and death seems to be the epitome of all these things combined.

But the deepest darkest fear is the fear of annihilation. This is the biggest nightmare for the ego because the role of the ego is to exist. The ego wants to be an individual. It wants to do everything in its power to protrude from nature as a separate entity.

Death is a natural part of life, but to the ego, it’s the end of the world. When we fear death, we are trapped in our ego. The bigger the ego, the bigger the fear. The lesser the ego, the lesser the fear. Therefore, part of moderating your fear of death lies in moderating your ego.

When your fear of death is blown out of proportion, it can become a problem and severely reduce the quality of your life.

This exacerbated fear can lead to:

Paranoia: You’re always thinking that something might happen to you which prevents you from taking healthy risks.

Poor judgment: You’re more susceptible to influence and control as external entities can manipulate you much easier.

Anxiety: You tend to feel more weight on your shoulders because death is perceived as the end of the world.

Distress: You might become worried that you and your loved ones are going to die, even when everyone is in good health.

Denial: You’re likely to avoid the topic or anything that brings it to mind. This denial inevitably causes problems and results in major limitations in your life.

Existential dread: In some cases, the exacerbated fear of death can lead you to an existential crisis.

The fear of death can be an obstacle when it interferes with the quality of your life. It can prevent people from reaching their full potential or living an adventurous life because people who fear death tend to take a more conservative approach to life.

Often people don’t fear death itself, but things related to death such as the dying process, the dying process itself, or leaving loved ones behind. When we address each nuance of death and come to terms with the process, we tend to feel more at peace with it.

The worst thing you can do is deny the reality of death until you no longer can. Therefore, get a handle on it now, and it will take a heavy burden off your shoulders, for the rest of your life.

What causes the fear of death?

Some people have a big fear of death, others don’t. If you are the former, it’s important to understand how this fear of death affects your life, and to what extent.

Here are some things that may contribute to the fear of death:

Biological drive: Of course, we are programmed to survive. All life is programmed to survive, otherwise, the species probably wouldn’t last too long. We are no exception to this rule, so naturally, we want to avoid death at all costs.

Cultural norms: Death is a much more prominent part of some cultures, where people live in harmony with it. People in certain cultures have more exposure to death compared to a Western society where the idea of death is swept under the rug.

Fear of the unknown: Many people aren’t as afraid of death as they are of facing the unknown. As death is the biggest encounter with the unknown that we can have, naturally, some people are going to be afraid of it.

Fear of annihilation: The complete loss of self is a big fear for a lot of people. Regardless of what happens after death, the process of losing everything that you have ever known can be a scary thought.

Loss of control: Death can seem like a really big ordeal to people who tend to hold onto control. If you have spent your life trying to be in charge of every little thing that happens to you, the realization that you’re at the complete mercy of the universe when you die can be uneasy.

Past experiences: If you witnessed a horrible accident where someone died in a lot of pain, or perhaps you’ve seen the ugly side of death, this can affect your outlook on it.

Existential beliefs: Your beliefs about the afterlife can turn death into something fearful. If you believe you’re going to hell, or that you will face some sort of repercussions for the life you’ve lived, this belief might cause you to latch onto life.
How to overcome the fear of death

I feared death as much as any person until I experienced ego death. This experience completely blew open my reality, and this was my first encounter with truth. After this experience, a couple of things changed in my life.

I felt I had undergone the experience of death, so it wasn’t an uncertainty anymore.

I instantly developed spiritual beliefs from this encounter

I started making the most of my life so I didn’t feel I was missing out

I feel that all of these ingredients were essential in helping me get rid of this fear. Many years later, I still have no fear of death, and because of this, I have explored my life without limitations.

Many people limit their lives to secure the life they’re living. They want comfort and security. Certainty. They want to endure, and sacrifice so much to do so. But I wanted to soak up as many experiences as I could. So I traveled the world for many years. I explored different cultural beliefs, religions, and spiritual modalities such as shamanism.

Due to this pursuit of knowledge, my understanding of life after death broadened and I became more curious about what happens when we die (and what’s always here).

Personally, my pursuit of spirituality was a game-changer when it comes to the fear of death. If you believe that there is an afterlife, and that Earth is actually a pretty difficult place to be in the scheme of things, dying sorta feels like a get out of jail free card.

Change your outlook of death

Some cultures see death through a different lens though. They spend time with their dead, they don’t rush them away to a hospital to never be seen again.

Whether it’s Dia De los Muertos in Mexico which celebrates death, or the Ma’nene festival in Indonesia which cleans the deceased and strengthens the bond between the living and the dead, we don’t view death the same way. If we’re all just a little more open about death and talk about it more, culturally, the stigma surrounding it will disintegrate.

I encourage you to see death in a way that excites you. I don’t mean this in the rushing to your grave sense, but in the sense that you want to know what happens. I know that for me personally, I can’t wait to see what happens for myself, and I mean that in the most uplifting way possible.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and plan on milking every moment of it. But this curiosity gives me something to look forward to. It doesn’t matter what happens in my life, if I achieve my dreams, or die sad and lonely because death looks the same for us all.

Are you able to find something exciting about death? Can you look at it in a way where it sets you free rather than imprisons you? Look at death as a get-out-of-jail-free card. Life is the hard part, what lies on the other side is not.

Cultivate a curiosity about death

Work on cultivating a curiosity about death, rather than associating it with negative thoughts and feelings. If you can learn to broaden your curiosity about death by digging deep into it, that same worry will gradually be replaced with wonder: A positive energetic outlet that improves your life experience, not takes away from it.

Therefore, don’t push thoughts of death and mortality away. Instead, illuminate it, and allow yourself to be fascinated by it. If someone close to you dies, of course, you should mourn but also reflect. Use this opportunity to think about the death process while it’s fresh in your mind.

I encourage you to think about death, wonder about it, and talk about it with people. Bring the idea of death to light, otherwise, it will stay in the darkness and remain as an unquestionable horror instead of a curious mystery.

Cultivate an understanding of impermanence

Understanding the nature of impermanence is needed to be at peace with death. Realizing the impermanent nature of all things helps you see the bigger picture: That nothing stops changing, and that we are also part of this river of endless change.

Everything in life is impermanent, from every emotion you experience to every difficulty you’ve had. The universe itself will end at some point, which makes time valuable for it’s finite. Does this thought stir up dread, knowing that your time is limited? Does it set you free, knowing that nothing really matters in the end, so why not enjoy the ride?

There’s beauty in knowing that everything you’re experiencing will end. So embrace it. Make the most out of this slither of consciousness that you’re experiencing right now.

Part of what makes life so exciting is that no matter who you are or what you do, your story will come to a close, sooner or later. So appreciate all the ups and downs! Pursue new opportunities and see what you can turn your life into.

Explore your existential beliefs

For me personally, believing in something beyond life has made a big difference in my perception of death. Genuinely believing that this universe is a tiny part of a much bigger system makes death seem like it’s not such a big deal.

Life is supposed to be one of the harder experiences a soul undergoes. So in that sense, would you rather stay here and struggle through the human construction zone, or enjoy the higher states of consciousness that we experience outside of these bodies?

Having spiritual beliefs makes the idea of death not just tolerable, but wonderful. Whether you have a nihilistic approach to the subject or not doesn’t matter in the end. You must agree that we don’t know for sure. Even if you believe that nothing happens, then it doesn’t really matter, does it? It would be like nothing even existed in the first place.

So why does it matter how painful the process of death is, or what you accomplish in life? Why does it matter how successful you have become, or how much money you made? If nothing exists, then nothing matters. If something exists, then everything probably matters. To me, this is a win-win.

Your spiritual beliefs and existential views can make the idea of death as something to look forward to, or as an unscalable object. Work on molding your views and beliefs to see the beauty in it all, and slowly over time, you will start appreciating your journey here.

I suggest broadening your understanding of spirituality and discovering beliefs that resonate with you. By forming your own beliefs and having faith in them, death is going to seem like much less of an obstacle and just another part of the journey. Below are some resources to explore life after death, and what it could mean.
Is there life after death?

Ultimately, what eradicated the fear of death for me was cultivating a belief in life after death. If I was still an atheist, maybe I would be in your shoes too. But I’m not. I’m more confident than ever that the experience of consciousness continues after death.

Sure, it transmutes and changes form. You join the collective and branch off to experience your soul journey. You experience different dimensions and incarnate into different places. But it’s real.

After all, every body of knowledge believes in other dimensions. Every religion believes in life after death. All the best scientists and philosophers agree that we simply don’t know, and usually, they believe that there’s a whole lot more than what meets the eye too.

Believing in life after death has given me the ultimate comfort. Instead of holding onto life, I see it for what it is. A dream, a tiny figment of experience that god undergoes.

You can believe that there’s more to existence, you can believe that this universe is it. That’s really up to you. But if you do truly want to overcome the fear of death, I suggest that you start exploring what lies beyond this reality, and you might find some answers.
9 February 2021