Symbosity

Category: Personal Development

Personal Development is your go-to article archive for enhancing your character, competence, and capabilities. Here you’ll find holistic articles to empower your growth journey and aid your process of self-improvement. This is the foundation of personal growth – The focus on transforming yourself to become a better version of yourself. We weren’t given an instruction manual to human correctly, so this archive is your guide.

Here I offer reflections, insights, and practical strategies to help you become the person you truly want to be. Each article offers valuable insights and actionable advice to help you achieve your fullest potential. Whether you’re seeking guidance on overcoming obstacles, looking to develop your character, or generally wanting to improve the quality of your life, this archive acts as a roadmap for continuous growth and self-actualization.

  • Entity Removal: How to Get Rid of an Entity Attachment

    I wasn’t going to make an article about entity removal, but since writing about this topic, many people have reached out seeking help. So, perhaps it’s best I shed some light here.

    If you haven’t yet read it, I highly recommend that you read this article about what entity attachments are.

    As I’ve learned more about this phenomenon, I’ve sought information from shamans, healers, and spiritual leaders from various cultures, traditions, and practices. Most people who have dedicated their lives to a spiritual path, at least in my knowledge, believe in entity attachments. Sure, interpretations vary, but they’re all pointing at the same thing regardless of the religious framework.

    I want to be clear that I’m not an expert in the matter. I don’t perform entity removals, and although I have some knowledge of the topic, there’s plenty I don’t know. What I’m doing here is just passing on the wisdom from the healers I’ve worked with.

    With that said, I very much trust the people who have shared this knowledge with me. I have seen them perform exorcisms and help many people remove entities – as trained shamans who have been working in the plant medicine space for decades.

    So, let’s get into it.

    Are entity attachments real?

    Several years ago, I would have never believed in entity attachments. It wasn’t until I began working in the shamanic healing space that I crossed paths with many people claiming they had spiritual attachments, and were at these centers seeking help.

    Some of these stories I took with a grain of salt. Perhaps the attachment was a way to defer blame or avoid taking responsibility for their mental health issues.

    But other people seemed sincere, like they’ve had a dark cloud hanging over their heads for years, and recited stories in vivid detail. I could feel the conviction in their voices and knew they weren’t making this stuff up.

    But by this point, I had already experienced some wild things along my self-discovery journey, so it wasn’t farfetched to me.

    What erased any doubt was witnessing real exorcisms carried out by shamans. Not just one who was perhaps playing this whole thing up a little, but by different shamans in different communities.

    Some of these exorcisms were relatively mild and for lack of a better word, anticlimatic. Others were intense, where guests were seemingly overtaken by something, and it took hours to send it to the light.

    Entity attachment vs spirit: What’s the difference?

    An entity attachment is usually a dark spirit that has attached itself to a person and cohabits their body.

    I’ve had my own experiences with spirits. Starting from a small child when I would wake up screaming every night and running to my parent’s room, screaming “There’s a man in my room!”.

    Something was targeting me, but it wasn’t an attachment because I never had issues again when we moved from that house. Entity attachments attach to our energy bodies, so for lack of a better word, they’re like parasites.

    While certain places can have spirits lingering there (think of haunted buildings), I wouldn’t call them entity attachments. Well… maybe to the building, but not to you. Likewise, if an entity seems to be following you, but you haven’t let it in… don’t.

    I’ve had some encounters with strange spirits during plant medicine experiences and during astral projection which showed me firsthand that if we’re not careful when going into these places, we can invite them in.

    Do you have an entity attachment?

    Entity attachment

    An entity attachment is a type of soul contract, meaning it’s a conscious contract. While you may think you’re just an unfortunate soul who is victimized randomly by an entity, it’s best to acknowledge that you, on some level, made a deal with it.

    This is important to acknowledge because part of removing these buggers is to take your power back. If you don’t take responsibility for the situation, getting rid of the entity can be a long, arduous ride.

    From my understanding, there are a few ways in which people tend to get attachments:

    1. It came during a vibrational low: Typically, entities come in when we’re dealing with something really painful that we’re not quite ready for. When this happens, sometimes we unconsciously make a deal with an entity to “save us”, which is why it has a free pass to your energetic body.

    2. You expose yourself without being protected: When we travel into other realms, whether it’s via a spiritual craft like astral projection, or by using plant medicines without being in a ceremony, we expose ourselves to other levels of reality that are teeming with life. Generally, there’s a barrier between the material and the astral which we understand as the veil. The veil usually protects us somewhat, but when we pass this threshold without proper protection, we become targets for spirits with nefarious agendas.

    3. It was transferred through sex: As can different energies, entities can also be transferred via sex. If you have sex with someone who has an entity attachment, there’s a possibility it can be passed on to you. Energetically you’re opening your gates via sex to energies that aren’t in your best interest.

    Entity attachments are spirits, or souls in the astral levels of reality who you have let in somehow. If you have an attachment, you let it in, in one way or another.

    And that’s the thing…

    Sometimes these spirits are devious. They may appear as angels, your spirit guides, ancestors, or even god claiming to want to help you. You might be convinced that it’s a good thing, therefore opening yourself up to it and granting it access to your energetic body.

    Spirits often enter during a particularly dark or painful point in our lives, but we can also get them other ways. As if we’re drowning, we extend a hand to whatever is out there to save us, and something else extends its hand too.

    This is usually the case.

    One client I had could identify the entry point of the entity. It came in during a particularly low point during the pandemic when he had financial difficulties, triggering abandonment issues from his past. Another client was in the process of being sued and felt deeply worried and betrayed, considering it was happening by someone she considered a friend.

    Likewise, many people I worked with at a shamanic healing center had similar stories. Usually, there’s a particularly painful situation the person went through that they couldn’t quite deal with.

    So, how do you know whether you have an entity attachment or not?

    You need to be discerning

    The very first thing you need to do is determine if the entity is a spirit that has latched onto your energetic body, or if it’s a manifestation of you.

    This can be a bit of a tricky subject because in many cases, there’s a fine line between a real entity and something you’re going through psychologically or spiritually.

    Either way, damage can be done if:

    1. You believe you have an entity, but it’s another issue
    2. You believe you have another issue, but it’s an entity

    This is why we need to tread carefully.

    I’ve met plenty of people who describe the entity in vivid detail, and claim it with certainty. I’ve also met people who believe that their depression, anxiety, or panic attacks are due to an external being when it could be them.

    Of course, I’m not saying your entity is your imagination as I’ve worked with quite a few people who have had them. But it’s not always the case! Sometimes we think we have something external, when it turns out to be some sort of spiritual or psychological phenomenon that we’re going through.

    There can be a fine line here, which is why it’s particularly important to give it some serious thought. Entities aren’t always obvious and can cause symptoms similar to mental illness including anxiety, depression, psychosis, or schizophrenia, adding another layer of complication to the equation.

    I do believe that a lot of people with serious mental illness, or at least those who are labeled as such, do have entities that are causing, continuing, or exacerbating it. However, entities can usually be felt as a tangible presence in the body, often moving around, messing around with you, and perhaps communicating with you.

    We can also experience spiritual phenomena that can cause symptoms similar to mental illness and have no connection to entities. For example, spiritual awakenings, kundalini awakenings, or particular plant medicine experiences can feel like you’re losing your mind. And sometimes, certain experiences can destabilize us. However, these experiences are not related to entities.

    So let’s break this down into 3 categories that all share similarities:

    • Mental illness: Caused by a mental or emotional imbalance, and is often attributed to the brain.
    • Spiritual episodes: Caused by a powerful spiritual event that can destabilize us and feel like mental illness.
    • Entity attachments: Attachments we picked up or made a deal with somewhere that can mess with us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

    Therefore, it’s important to identify what you may be going through before proceeding.

    Entity removal: How to get rid of the bugger

    Entity attachment

    Now that you’ve got a little context, how can you remove an entity? While people can help you remove entities, ultimately, you’re the only person who can break this contract.

    People who market themselves as entity removalists may be able to help you flush it out, but they can’t do much about it themselves. If they say they can remove it for you, that’s a red flag. We’re not moving furniture here, we’re dealing with a sophisticated spiritual contract, and you must be the one to end it by reclaiming your power and sending it to the light.

    If you continue deferring responsibility and hoping someone else will do this for you without taking responsibility for this situation and working on it yourself, then that could be keeping you in a loop.

    Depending on the severity of the attachment, this can be very difficult. Most people who have an attachment are aware they have an attachment but are in control. In this case, you need to reclaim your power and make sure you’re not playing the entity’s games.

    This means:

    • Don’t give it the time and attention it wants
    • Don’t allow it to make you feel fear or manipulate you
    • Assert your power, that you’re a sovereign being in control of yourself
    • Connect more deeply with god, source, and angels
    • Work on raising your vibration and connecting to your roots

    Identify the entry point

    Usually, an entity comes in during a particularly dark point in your life. There may be a significant trauma, or perhaps a situation triggered something from the past and you weren’t ready to deal with it. There is likely a point where you were overwhelmed by a painful emotion, which could have been something brought up from the past, and I bet you it hasn’t yet been resolved.

    Often, there’s a childhood root.

    Maybe you were going through a financial difficulty, and it brought up feelings of not being supported because you were not well-provided for growing up. Perhaps you were betrayed or backstabbed by someone close to you, and it brought back a flood of pain from being abandoned by a parent when you were a kid. Maybe you were depressed and hopeless, or perhaps you lost someone close to you and didn’t know how to fill that hole.

    For whatever reason, you weren’t ready to deal with that particularly painful emotion or confront that shadow, and this cultivates the perfect conditions for an entity to swoop in and save the day. This particular event or circumstance made you feel very vulnerable, and you needed help getting through it.

    While in these low-vibrational states, we’re already like beacons to entities with all sorts of nefarious agendas. When you reach out and ask for help, you may make a contract with one.

    The contract usually goes like this:

    You: I can’t deal with this, I’m not ready to face these shadows, I need help!
    Entity targeting you: Cash or credit?

    But seriously, you reach out, and they vicariously benefit. It’s an exchange. They shield you from experiencing that deeply painful emotion, and they get a free feast from all your low vibrational energy.

    It’s a win-win.

    At least temporarily. Then of course, as with any toxic relationship… it goes south.

    You give the entity a foot, it will take a mile. Entities tend to exacerbate your mood, emotions, thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors to keep you in this cycle of pain. Do you think they will just let you transcend it and give up their free buffet?

    They will mess around with you, scare you, and your problems will only seem to get worse.

    Therefore:

    • Try to understand how you got this entity
    • Identify if you had a particularly dark moment around the time you noticed the entity activity beginning
    • Determine if there’s a particular part of the body that you feel the entity, or if it moves around

    Resolve the underlying wound

    Once you have identified when and why you made a contract with the entity, you need to be willing to face all of that pain again.

    The entity will not go away unless you send it away, and you can only do that if you reclaim your power and are willing to experience everything the entity has been sheltering you from.

    So, you need to be ready to feel vulnerable, or overwhelmed, and deal with the issue that led to the agreement in the first place. Because if you’re not willing to face the hard yards and experience some uncomfortable emotions, then you won’t have the leverage to get rid of this thing.

    Therefore, declare that you are ready to deal with this wound. Don’t just declare it, but feel it and truly prepare yourself to experience the pain, anger, and hurt to the full extent, or whatever is to it that you were feeling when the entity came in.

    But just being willing to accept the pain isn’t good enough. You need to get to the bottom of it and resolve the wound, because if that wound is still there hidden somewhere under the surface, the back door is still open.

    Aiming to remove an entity without resolving the root cause is like pulling weeds without dealing with the roots. If the underlying pain and vulnerability are still there, something else can easily take its place. That’s probably why some exorcisms don’t ‘stick’ and why certain people seem to keep attracting attachments.

    This also explains why some people struggle to break free even when they want to. If they’re not ready to face what led to the attachment, they might subconsciously cling to it, even if it’s causing suffering.

    Likely, if you’re struggling to get rid of the entity, you might have some resistance to experience that pain. And maybe you’re just not ready yet. But when you are, you need to accept that you will feel that same vulnerability, and it’s probably going to suck…

    But it’s necessary.

    If you never go back into that pain point to work through that trauma, sooner or later you’ll experience the same pain point, let down your defenses, and something else can come in. This is why you need to make sure the backdoor is closed so once you get rid of this entity, nothing else can come in.

    Reclaim your power and set your boundaries

    Now you need to tell the entity that your contract is done. Saying it with doubt in a weak, shaky voice won’t do. Neither will screaming in a fit of rage. You need to be confident, assertive, and firm – even perhaps a little aggressive.

    There needs to be energy behind it. Imagine you’re talking to a sticky ex-boyfriend. If you’re nervously telling him to leave or that you don’t like it, he will probably pick up on your energy and keep trying to get back with you. If you draw the line, look him in the eyes, and tell him with some healthy energy that you are done and you don’t ever want to see him, he will likely get the message.

    In this case, the entity is the sticky ex-boyfriend, and it responds to your energy more than your words.

    I will draw on my own experiences here when encountering entities. During one medicine experience while unprotected (rookie mistake), I encountered some jester-type entities bouncing around the space. I didn’t get a sense of malevolence, but rather dirtiness, and knew right at that moment that this wasn’t a good place to be. 

    Being deep in a plant medicine journey, I saw an older, wiser version of myself forcefully swishing them away with a loud yell. It was a little aggressive, perhaps even a little violent, but I instinctively knew at that moment that I had to use some force to get rid of them.

    But I didn’t… I let the experience die down naturally and went to sleep without making a peep. I didn’t realize this at the time, but I was being shown by my higher self what I had to do to set my boundaries and make sure they didn’t attach to me.

    The experience died down quickly and things seemed relatively normal again, but that’s when I seemed to slip into a depression. Following that experience, I just couldn’t find joy in life, and I didn’t know why.

    It was strange considering within a month I would be heading to Ecuador to work at a shamanic healing center – a life-long dream come true. Even when I arrived, I didn’t feel any better. I just wondered what was the point of it all, and life was a massive downer.

    It wasn’t until I sat in an Ayahuasca that I had a vision of a huge dragon scaring away these goopy slimes. I immediately had a new lease of life, free of this dark shadow that had been lurking over my head.

    So adhere to the message that I didn’t. When you’re setting your boundaries, it needs to be done with energy.

    Help them get back home

    From the many conversations I’ve had with one of my teachers about entities, what I’ve noticed is that she always speaks about them with compassion. Even regarding demonic entities, she says that the path toward getting rid of them is to help them.

    You need to view dark spirits as lost souls that are very far away from their divine true nature. You have to be fearless and ask them if they’re tired of this and would like to go home to the source.

    Sometimes they’re not ready, sometimes they are. According to this shaman, if they say yes, the angels come in and help them cross over and leave the hell they created for themselves. Even though other bodies of knowledge may work with entities, such as the Catholic church or certain Vodu traditions, I resonate with the shamanic view. Not only because I have seen it in action many times now, but because they have a much more compassionate view.

    They view attachments as lost souls that need help and guidance to return home. The shamans I know tell me that people who have attachments are in a position to help them. Those who are completely taken over have a view of the other side. Although they may be experiencing torment, this situation sets them up to be a helper.

    What if you’re not in control?

    Cross

    On the other hand, sometimes people are not in control. Sometimes people send me videos of people they know who look like they’re possessed. We’re talking odd movements and sounds, walking unnaturally, unresponsive, incognizant. You take one look and think “Oh my god, that’s anything but natural”.

    At this point, it will be an uphill battle. Not impossible, but tough. The person is in a world of torment and has surrendered all of their control to the entity, to the point it’s controlling them.

    Note that if you bring this person to get an exorcism done, ultimately it’s still them breaking the contract. Unlike the movies, the priest, shaman, or spiritual healer can’t banish the spirit from the person. They can push it away and guide the person through the process, but it’s ultimately the individual who breaks that contract.

    And this is good news because it means that you always have control. The person must find a deeper willpower within him/herself to push on and reclaim their power. Supporting the person through the process and telling them that you love them can help them gain the strength necessary to take control again.

    External tools like liquid tobacco, Rapeh, sage, Palo Santo, and frequencies such as using a drum or Tibetan singing bowl might help push the entity away for a moment to help the person regain control and become cognizant again.

    Ultimately, the person needs to make it loud and clear that they are not giving up, and that the entity absolutely cannot be here. They need to do everything in their power to set the boundaries and ground themselves.

    Again, if the entity is given an inch, it will take a mile, so make your boundaries firm and enforce that it has no power over you.

    Shamanic medicines can be powerful tools to help you remove entities. I know that traveling to South America to work with master plants might not be on your agenda, or perhaps not possible in your situation, but this is a good last resort.

    Many shamans, such as the ones I’ve worked with, are very skilled at helping people remove entities. They don’t do it themselves, but they, with the help of the medicine flush those entities out, where the person can break the contract.

    Shamans, given they can see entities on other people, can send those entities away for some time – giving the person clarity to think about what they want, and if they’re ready to cut the contract. That is to experience the pain again and go back into these dark places.

    If you have an entity attachment or know someone who is going through it, remember that you are in charge. You have the power to send it home and to enforce your boundaries, despite how much it tries to convince you that it’s in control.

  • False Humility: The Self-Growth Trap You NEED To Avoid

    We all know that humility is a positive characteristic, so naturally, we want to be humble. In a nutshell, humility plays an important role in personal growth, self-awareness, and building healthy relationships, not to mention it’s also a good look. It’s an important characteristic to have, but let’s be honest…

    Are you humble because it genuinely makes you feel good, or because it reflects well on you?

    Many people want to be humble just because it’s a good look. Therefore, they end up swallowing their pride and playing the part for brownie points. But doing it just for the image leads to false humility – the appearance of being humble without actually being humble.

    I don’t think anyone ever thinks “You know what? I want people to see me as a selfish asshole”. But most people want others to see us as shining beacons of light because it’s good for the ego.

    In this sense, humility is often a show, it’s a mask to wear. People try to look humble, and therefore forfeit all the benefits of actually being humble. They become inauthentic – leading to disintegration and a skewed sense of self.

    This is why it’s crucial to recognize false humility and take steps towards developing genuine humility. Genuinely humble people don’t perceive themselves to be more advanced or more important than anyone else. They’re simply sharing what they know, and doing it with heart.

    Therefore, being humble is one thing, but it doesn’t make a difference unless you feel humble. It must be genuine because if you’re holding your tongue for the sake of looking humble, you’re not progressing. So let’s take a look at the difference between false humility and genuine humility in this article, and explore how you can embrace the latter.

    What is false humility?

    False humility and a spiritual ego

    False humility is when you’re trying to appear humble rather than genuinely feel humble. It often involves downplaying yourself to appear modest and discretely seeking validation, approval, or recognition. It can take the form of brushing off compliments, minimizing successes, or deflecting praise while secretly hoping for recognition.

    False humility is often a way of controlling our image to be seen as a selfless, positive person. Sometimes it might even work, but as long as we’re wearing a mask we will never see the depth of our dysfunction. If you can put on a mask to be seen in a positive light, you have no incentive to become more positive.

    People who pretend to be humble are often driven by validation. They put on an act to look good, rather than being integral to the feelings, beliefs, and values associated with humility. In the same way that you won’t heal a wound if you’re pretending to be tough and ignore it, you won’t work on yourself to genuinely become humble if you’re fooling yourself.

    People who are falsely humble are still very much caught in an ego complex, while people who are actually humble are outside of their egos and rather act from a place of heart.

    Some people might think they’re humble when they downplay their abilities, but in truth, it’s often a tactic. They want people to think “Oh wow, this person’s so humble!” Therefore, they act in a way that gives them brownies points.

    False humility can be surprisingly easy to miss because sometimes we don’t recognize it in ourselves. This is why recognition is so important. If you’re on a personal growth journey, you should always value the long and often daunting path to genuine change rather than taking the shortcut for temporary benefit.

    When we recognize false humility in ourselves, we can take steps to replace it with authenticity. This shift allows us to accept praise without guilt and recognize our achievements without fearing they’ll make us look prideful. Instead, we can focus on acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses and being more down to Earth without feeling overly important.

    Distinguishing genuine humility vs false humility

    Humility

    So let’s first identify what genuine humility looks like. People who are genuinely humble:

    • Don’t feel a need for external validation: If you’re genuinely humble, you don’t care what other people think of you. If people validate your actions or behaviors, so be it, if they don’t it won’t change a thing.

    • Don’t talk themselves up: Regardless of what you have achieved, you don’t feel the need to prove yourself by boasting or drawing attention to yourself. You are genuinely fulfilled through your actions, not from the validation or praise from others, therefore you don’t seek it out.

    • Don’t feel jealous of others: Feeling jealous of other people’s achievements is a red flag. Humble people see the value in everyone and perceive us all as being on the same team. This means you are happy for the success of others, and encourage them forward.

    • Listen more than they speak: Being genuinely humble means you’re on a constant path of learning – meaning you always strive to understand different perspectives, ideas, and beliefs. You recognize that there is always something more to learn, that everyone is a teacher, and you never consider yourself to have mastered anything.

    • Don’t combat people: If you’re humble, you’re not in the business of combatting other people, even if you believe they are wrong. You will understand that everyone has different perspectives, and they may be seeing something you aren’t.

    On the other hand, false humility is the greedy, jealous counterpart of humility. Here are a few ways it might manifest:

    • You often fish for compliments: This could look like saying, “Oh, it was nothing” when you’ve put in a ton of effort and want others to acknowledge it. Or when someone dismisses their success just to hear others reassure them how impressive they are.

    • You use self-deprecating humor to receive positive reinforcement: Sometimes people use humor to downplay themselves, hoping others will jump in with positive reinforcement. Often self-deprecating humor is fine, but when it’s a covert bid for encouragement.

    • You perform ‘good deeds’ but Seek Recognition for them: True humility means doing good without seeking praise. False humility, however, often looks like helping others but subtly bringing it up later so others can admire the generosity. This is also a common PR stunt for politicians, companies, and enterprises.

    • You avoid praise out of Fear of seeming arrogant: Many falsely humble people brush off compliments. False humility rejects acknowledgment out of a need to appear modest.

    • You tend to virtue signaling: One of my biggest pet peeves is virtue signaling to show others that you’re morally superior to them. Many ‘humble’ people seek brownie points by showing others just how ‘good‘ they are. They may not say it, but they’ll scream through their actions to admire them.

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to be humble as long as it’s balanced. However, those feelings of humility must be authentic. If you’re trying to be humble and taking shortcuts to do so, then you’re probably doing more damage than good.

    False humility is a problem because while authenticity leads to genuine growth and healing, inauthenticity leads to disintegration. When pretending to be a certain way without feeling congruent with it, we create a discrepancy.

    To avoid the trap of false humility, you need to focus on the intrinsic values of humility rather than the image. Focusing on your feelings and desires gets to the root of the issue, while attempting to solely behave in a way that gets you spiritual brownie points is a shortcut… off a cliff.

    Here’s the thing.

    False humility is about how you look on the outside and is focused on your image. Genuine humility is about how you feel on the inside, and it has nothing to do with your image. You can fake your image but you can’t fake your feelings.

    Therefore, don’t focus on your actions because they’re not a good indication of humility. Focus on feeling genuinely humble, and you’re on a better path.

    To be fair, we all want to be recognized to some extent. We want to prove our existence, and this is what the ego thrives off. After all, recognition plays a big role in social status and our perceived level of success in life, therefore it has value.

    In this day and age, it’s best to focus on balance.

    It’s fine to have some pride, however, it should be moderated with humility – To not get a big head out of your achievements or perceive yourself to be more valuable than anyone else. Sure, it’s great when our hard work is recognized, but we shouldn’t be looking for that recognition.

    So the real question comes down to your desire for validation. Have you ever asked yourself why you desire external validation, reinforcement, or approval? Usually, there’s a deeper underlying issue that causes false modesty.

    If we want to fix the problem, and need to get to the roots of it.

    Why do you seek external validation

    People often seek validation when they feel they have something to prove. This desire to prove yourself can be a manifestation of cultural conditioning, among other things. After all, our entire social system revolves around this elusive idea of success, so it tends to weigh heavily.

    Cultural and social conditioning can be influencing factors in determining why people want to present an image aligned with virtue, happiness, and success, but on the other hand, a lack of humility can stem from self-worth issues.

    The desire to prove yourself is likely due to feelings of deep-rooted inadequacy, and you seek external validation to cover the wound of inadequacy.

    People often overcompensate by boasting about their achievements or successes because deep down they feel they’re not good enough. This is often why people seek validation, or approval because they don’t feel worthy so they look for positive reinforcement.

    On the other hand, people who are secure in themselves are generally more humble because they don’t have a hole they’re trying to fill with external validation. Genuinely humble people feel worthy which is why they don’t seek recognition. They recognize themselves, and since they value themselves, their cup is already full.

    Therefore, the real target here is to work on your self-worth, as genuine humility is a byproduct of it.

    This is why humility can be difficult when you feel you are lacking. Consider the areas of your life where you feel inadequate. Identify whether you are covering that hole with validation, and how you feel if you don’t receive validation for others.

    Stating our achievements makes us feel like we’re winning the game, so what you need to do is go cold turkey and inspect where it hurts.

    For example, during my youth when I hadn’t yet acquired dating skills, I had to spout to my friends about every romantic success I had. This made me feel like I was worthy. Not mentioning my occasional successes made me feel like a loser.

    Now being more mature, I don’t feel the desire to tell people about my dating life. If they ask, sure, I’ll be honest, regardless of what’s happening at that time in my life, but I’m not looking to talk about it or won’t bring it up in conversation. It’s an area of my life I feel quite fulfilled in, so my behavior corresponds.

    Learn to be honest and avoid bringing up topics that rub your ego unless you’re asked.

    How to develop genuine humility

    The impermenance of life

    As with any personal development pursuit, it can take time, patience, and practice to become more humble. It’s important not to treat humility as a switch, but rather a seed that must be cultivated over time – a manifestation of your inner workings, feelings, and state of consciousness.

    Here are some things to consider:

    • You’re NEVER a master: Realize that no matter how high you climb, there is always another level of learning. Therefore, never refer to yourself as a master. Other people may if they believe so, but you shouldn’t.
    • Speak from experience: Talk from your personal experiences and what you’ve learned through them. Avoid blanket statements or matter-of-fact statements.
    • Listen more than you speak: Every person has valuable information, traits, and qualities that you can learn from. Direct your focus to learning rather than assuming you know it all.

    Here are some things to avoid:

    • Assuming you’re highly respected: There is no need to tell people you’re highly respected. Sometimes I hear people do this to prove a point or flaunt their authority in a space, but it sounds foolish at best. The evidence will speak for itself… if it’s true.
    • Telling people you know: Even if you know a subject well that someone is talking about, don’t combat people when they tell you things you already know. Avoid cutting them off to tell them you already know that. Perhaps listen to understand their perspective.
    • Don’t boast about your following: Regarding social media, regardless of how many people you’re connected to, it’s best to take a modest approach or avoid the topic altogether. Telling people that you have a big following, or that you’re a celebrity or influencer is lame.
    • Believing you know more than others: This comes from a position of arrogance. Assume there is always something to learn from everyone, and there is always something that every person has a unique perspective or understanding of.
    • Telling people you’re successful: Let it speak for itself.
    • Telling people you’re spiritual: We’re all spiritual. It doesn’t matter how spiritually advanced you think you are, or how much wisdom you have, people often develop a spiritual ego in this area. Take a modest approach and avoid talking about your spiritual pursuits unless relevant.

    Now that we’ve gone through a few humility dos and don’ts, let’s look at some more in-depth points.

    Become a conduit for your influence and power

    Perceiving yourself as a conduit for any wealth, influence, and power you have is the first point I want to make, and probably the most important shift you can make. Rather than seeing yourself as the sole creator of everything you have, a humble view is to see yourself as a vessel for god to work through.

    If the power is not yours, but rather a universal force that is passing through you, then you will see yourself as a messenger. There’s a reason why people in spiritual leadership positions tend to perceive themselves as conduits for their power because it keeps them humble which is important in any spiritual pursuit.

    Now, some people may get head-full when they think about it this way – thinking they’re the messenger of god. This isn’t the approach we’re going for. You’re a messenger, as is every person who walks this Earth, most people just don’t realize it.

    Stop focusing on yourself

    We tend to get caught up in our narratives and forget that everyone else is caught in theirs too. Therefore, we’re trying to prove ourselves to people who aren’t paying attention to us.

    The truth is… nobody really cares what you’re up to. It’s not because they’re selfish or self-centered, nobody is watching you closely because they’re focused on themselves. Therefore, when you’re thinking about proving yourself in some form, remember that your success is the least of their concerns.

    Start building the muscle of not caring what others think about your life, and remember that you have nothing to prove to them. Focusing on your joy is a better road to take.

    Don’t make comparisons

    Most of us tend to compare ourselves, or our progress to other people. This is a lose-lose situation because you’re stepping away from genuine humility. To beat false humility, try to not care too much about where people are in life compared to you. It’s a slippery slope into self-centeredness.

    Just as I was writing this I checked out someone’s Instagram I know and saw that they have a relatively large following. For a moment I felt envious, overshadowed, and even feeling a little sorry for myself before bringing it back to Earth.

    A deeper part of me kicked in saying ‘This doesn’t matter, why do you even care?’ It’s normal to feel a little envious of people who have made it further than us in some regard but remember, we all shine in different areas. Own it, but don’t bloat about it. 

    Lean into your vulnerabilities

    Naturally, we want to be a little protective about our vulnerabilities. Ideally, I would say that we can be completely open with everyone, but in the real world, sometimes people take advantage. Lean into your vulnerabilities by expressing yourself, showing emotion, and being transparent, but don’t be too trusting.

    For example, admitting that you don’t know something and being willing to learn from others is a sign of humility. But of course, you must be genuinely curious. You must want to know and be honest. When you step into your vulnerabilities, you feel more free in a way.

    You won’t shy away from questions or avoid certain discussions because they’re sensitive, or perhaps because you don’t have a great answer. Rather, you will be transparent and allow people to see you for who you are because you find strength in it.

    Speak about your achievements after

    Part of the trap of ego is to talk about what we are doing or want to do. We soak up all the validation and often become complacent because we have already gotten what we were looking for. I’m certainly guilty of this and feel ashamed when I don’t meet these preimposed expectations.

    A better way to approach this is to speak about your achievements after you have achieved them. For example, if you just finished your medical degree, don’t tell people you’re a doctor. Be honest with yourself. Even so, don’t bring it up unless you’re asked or it’s relevant to the conversation, otherwise you’re fishing for compliments.

    Let recognition for what you do organically come to you. Don’t seek it out, especially if you haven’t yet achieved it yet.

    Speak from your personal experiences

    Something I often do is talk about things from an objective perspective. I will tell people about the spiritual dimensions, spirits, and energies as fact. What I’ve learned is to speak from my personal experiences. I’m not claiming to know anything, but I will lay out my experiences, and speak from perspective rather than fact.

    Some good phrases to use include:

    • From my experiences, I…
    • I believe….
    • I’m not entirely sure, but…
    • My understanding is….
    • This is what I was taught…
    • This is what I know…

    It’s best to take a more modest approach when it comes to speaking about what you know, especially if it’s contested.

    Keep learning!

    Have you ever heard the phrase: the more you know, the less you know? Well, I know so incredibly little, that it would blow your mind!

    Jokes aside, have you noticed that the more you learn about any given topic, the more about it you realize you don’t know? More information is illuminated as you dig into any concept, perspective, or idea, and only by learning we can realize how ignorant we were.

    I once heard the phrase ‘There is no such thing as mastery because we are all students of life’. I agree because mastery implies that you know it all when there is always more to know. Therefore, realize that you probably just know a slither of the information out there, despite how much you know, and talk about it from this perspective.

    Put it into perspective

    At the end of the day, sometimes we just need to put it into perspective. Look outside at the stars. Think about how big this world is, and how small you are. Think about how much is happening all around you at all times, and that you’re just one person.

    This isn’t intended to deflate you by any means, but it does help to realize that you’re just one person. It doesn’t matter. You will live, you will die, as we all do.

    Learn to see the beauty in the temporary nature of all things, in your mortality, and realize that the world will continue spinning with you or without you. Sometimes, you just need that step back, and to put it all into perspective.

  • The Most Powerful Affirmations Of Gratitude To Cultivate A Mindset Of Thankfulness

    Gratitude is so much more than just saying ‘thank you’. It’s a heart-centered energy that’s directly associated with a high vibration, and feelings of happiness, joy, and fulfillment.

    Therefore, the authentic path to happiness involves experiencing more gratitude, which is wisdom shed in every religion and spiritual belief system. We know that gratitude is an important piece of the happiness puzzle, which is why affirmations of gratitude can help us arouse these feelings and connect more deeply to a place of joy.

    We’ve previously discussed what gratitude is and why it’s such an  It’s a key component in our ability to manifest abundance and thoroughly enjoy our lives. Now we’re going to take command of our feelings with affirmations of gratitude – heartfelt statements that can shift us into a frame of gratitude.

    What are affirmations of gratitude?

    The best affirmations of gratitude

    Affirmations are statements that challenge negative thoughts and help us shift our thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes toward happier ideals. By repeating affirmations regularly, we can reshape our mental ecosystem and cultivate a healthier mindset.

    Affirmations of gratitude are written statements or cues that help us connect with feelings of gratitude. When paired with gratitude, affirmations become a tool to reinforce appreciation, helping us shift from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance. They remind us of the blessings in our lives, help us notice just how good we have it, and overall encourage a more positive outlook.

    By intentionally expressing gratitude through affirmations, we cultivate a deeper appreciation for the present moment. For example, saying, “I am grateful for the support in my life” can enhance our awareness of our relationships, and appreciate them more whole-heartedly.

    Consistently practicing affirmations can lead to greater happiness, improved relationships, and a more fulfilling life.

    List of affirmations of gratitude

    Affirmations of gratitude

    I suggest taking 10 minutes daily, or as often as you can to speak aloud the following affirmations of gratitude that resonate most with you. It’s important to focus on the emotions, and genuinely feel into the sensations of appreciation as you affirm these statements to yourself.

    Affirmations of gratitude aim to inspire the feeling of gratitude. Words are just shells if they don’t arouse emotion. Therefore, prioritize feeling gratitude and appreciation and rather use these phrases to think about, and inspire emotion.

    It’s also better to focus on the present when you’re going over affirmations of gratitude. It’s better to use affirmations that are relevant to your current position because if you aren’t, they’re not going to hit. 

    With that said, let’s look at some powerful affirmations of gratitude for every moment.

    10 affirmations for my life list

    Affirmations of my life

    • I can find joy in everything I do
    • I love working on my life and developing it into something I’m proud of
    • I can achieve everything I put my energy into
    • My life is exciting and I’m grateful for how it has unfolded
    • I am grateful for my freedom, that I can be whoever I want and do whatever I want
    • I am learning to love myself more unconditionally
    • I am grateful for all the incredible music that replenishes me!
    • I’m grateful for all the incredible emotions I can experience daily
    • I’m thankful for the adventures in my life, the thrill, and the mystery
    • I’m grateful for traveling, and for everything that goes well along my travels
    • I’m thankful for learning, growing, and improving every day
    • I’m grateful for the many hours I’ve poured into my personal development and the fruit it has provided
    • I’m grateful for having direction and a sense of purpose in life
    • I’m thankful for the rest and the sleep-ins!
    • I’m very grateful to live a relatively cruisy life, to not live in poverty or crisis. Life is good!
    • I’m so happy to find inherent meaning in life
    • I’m incredibly grateful to experience deep fulfillment in my life
    • Everything is unfolding exactly how it should
    • I am thankful for being born into the life I was given, and for making the most out of it
    • I love to feel emotions like gratitude, love, and compassion because they make me feel happy
    10 affirmations of my condition life

    Affirmations of my condition

    • I am so blessed to have abundant, fresh drinking water that is delivered right to my house
    • I appreciate the smaller joys in life, like drinking a coffee or going for a walk in nature
    • I am thankful for my house/apartment/shelter because I know it’s hard for a lot of people these days
    • I’m grateful to Mother Earth for providing everything we need
    • I am thankful for all the abundance that surrounds me at every given moment, that I seldom acknowledge
    • I am grateful for my health, and to be healthy. I often don’t appreciate how good I have it
    • I am grateful for recovering from my illness, and now I appreciate how lucky I am to be well
    • I am grateful to be born in my beautiful country
    • I am thankful for my job and my career, even if it’s not my dream job
    • I am thankful for a steady paycheck. I don’t appreciate how relieved I feel to have one
    10 affirmations of god

    Affirmations of god

    • I am grateful for your endless love and guidance
    • Thank you god for the blessings that fill my heart
    • I appreciate the strength you provide me in challenging times
    • I am thankful for the beauty of creation that reminds me of your greatness
    • Thank you for the gift of faith that brings me peace and hope
    • I am grateful for the lessons learned through trials, knowing they lead to growth
    • Thank you god for surrounding me with loving family and friends
    • I appreciate the moments of joy and laughter that brighten my days
    • I am thankful for your unwavering presence in my life that is guiding me through every step, and during my most difficult times
    • Thank you god for the gift of grace that allows me to embrace each new day
    10 affirmations of abundance

    Affirmations of abundance

    • I am deeply grateful for the abundance that fills my daily life
    • I am blessed to have access to an abundance of food and to never have to go hungry
    • Thank you for the opportunities and resources that come my way at unexpected times
    • I love and welcome every new good opportunity that comes into my life
    • I am so appreciative of the good things that flow into my life when I need them
    • I appreciate the wealth of love, support, and joy that surrounds me
    • I am thankful for the blessings that flow effortlessly into my life
    • The more I express gratitude, the more great things I manifest to be appreciative of
    • Gratitude opens the door to greater abundance, and I welcome it wholeheartedly
    • I am grateful for the lessons and experiences that lead me to greater prosperity
    • Every dollar I invest in myself will come back 10-fold
    • All the energy I give will come back to me in some form
    • Everything is a gift, and all things are sacred
    • As long as I approach every situation with appreciation, abundance will flow to me
    10 affirmations of success

    Affirmations of success

    • I am extremely lucky to have this opportunity to be a human. Even though challenging, I’m grateful for every moment
    • Setbacks do not determine worth, however, my perseverance determines my strength
    • It’s natural to fail in my pursuit of success. Everyone fails at times, and it’s an essential part of the learning process.
    • I’m exactly where I need to be right now, regardless of what I’m going through
    • I love stepping outside of my comfort zone because I can grow so much by doing so
    • I love all my faults and flaws, for they make me a unique individual and give me character
    • I am thankful for the difficulties in my life, for they have made me a stronger individual
    • I recognize and appreciate the opportunities that come my way, even if they’re not for me
    • I am very grateful when everything goes smoothly without hassle or stress
    • Regardless of what I’m going through, I can always find something to be grateful for
    10 affirmations of relationships

    Affirmations of relationships

    • I’m so lucky to have the people in my life that I do
    • I am eternally grateful for my kids
    • I feel cared for by others, and sometimes I overlook that care
    • I celebrate the success of others and vicariously ride off their success
    • The people in my life care for me, even if they don’t show it
    • People always do their best to help me because they care about me
    • I am worthy of being loved
    • Some people adore me, and these people are so important to me
    • I choose to open my eyes to the love, support, and kindness people give me daily
    • I love it when people accept me for who I am and withhold judgment
    • I am grateful for the love I am capable of giving others because it makes me feel great
    • I am thankful for all the amazing memories I have with different people in my life
    • I’m grateful for my upbringing, for my parents, and for all the lessons that helped me become who I am today
    • I am thankful that there are so many friendly people who I cross paths with daily
    • I love my pets dearly
    • I’m thankful to all the animals in my life! They’re amazing, and life wouldn’t be the same without them
    • I am so grateful to receive support when I need it
    • I have never been in too difficult of a situation because people have always come to my rescue
    • I love developing good friendships with people in my life

    Best practices for your affirmations of gratitude

    To create personalized affirmations, think about specific experiences, people, or feelings that evoke gratitude. Focus on positive language and express your affirmations in the present tense, as if they are already true. This authenticity will make your affirmations resonate more deeply.

    Here are some practical ways to incorporate your affirmations of gratitude into your daily life:

    • Morning Rituals: Start your day by reciting a few affirmations of gratitude. This sets a positive tone for the day ahead.
    • Journaling: Dedicate a section of your journal to writing down your affirmations. Reflect on them regularly and note any changes in your mindset.
    • Visual Aids: Create a vision board or write your affirmations on sticky notes and place them where you’ll see them often, like on your mirror or computer.

    Repetition is key. Saying affirmations aloud or writing them down can reinforce their impact, helping to embed them in your subconscious mind.

    Practicing affirmations of gratitude can sometimes be challenging, especially when you’re going through a rough patch. Stress can cloud your perspective, making it a chore to connect with these deeper feelings of appreciation.

    To overcome these obstacles, try the following strategies:

    • Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel negative emotions. Recognize them, but don’t let them dominate your mindset.
    • Start Small: If affirmations feel like they’re too much, begin with one simple affirmation and gradually build from there.
    • Stay Consistent: Make gratitude affirmations a daily habit, even on days when it feels difficult. Consistency can lead to lasting change.

    Regularly drill in the affirmations that you connect with to gradually connect more deeply with gratitude and appreciation.

  • How To Overcome The Infamous Money Block

    Do you believe that money has always been something separate to you, that financial abundance is a distant dream reserved for a certain class of people? Perhaps you feel as if the universe is conspiring to separate you from your earnings (or lack of). Therefore, you live in fear, worry, and constant uncertainty about your finances.

    Not a fun feeling.

    If this sounds like you, you likely have a money block that causes you to push it away energetically. That’s why this whole money thing has been so elusive. On one level or another, you’re in a toxic relationship with money, so it treats you like a bad boyfriend. Unreliable, and never there when you need it.

    A money block refers to any barrier you have towards receiving money. This barrier can be physical, mental, emotional, or energetic (and probably a combination of all the above). Money blocks usually come in the form of negative belief systems, mindsets, and feelings regarding money, that hinder the flow of it.

    If you want to live an abundant life where money simply flows, then you need to address this core block that may have been seeded long ago. This is what we’re going to dive into here. How can you identify a money block, and what steps can you take to resolve it?

    Why your relationship with money matters

    Back shot of a woman in a city

    For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a turbulent relationship with money. Always enough to go around, but never enough to feel secure.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been poor. I grew up in a middle-class family. I’ve always had enough money to live a comfortable life, however, there has been a deep-rooted fear of running out that has certainly impacted the quality of my life.

    To be transparent with you, I have not completely overcome my money block. It would be a lie to say money is oozing in from every angle (and out of every crevice), and that I feel abundant. But what I will say is that my relationship with money has improved a lot.

    I may not have a lot, yet I have managed to live a nomadic lifestyle for the past 8 years, picking up odd jobs, regularly staying in cute apartments, and seeing beautiful places. My work-life balance is great, but there has always been a worry in the back of my mind.

    ‘When will the next paycheck come in?’

    But it started when I was young. I remember feeling guilty for any money that was spent on me outside of food and necessities. Even though we were always okay financially, I remember my parents stressing about money.

    My relationship with money changed as I started backpacking. This was both the best and worst choice I ever made. It has changed my life in incredible ways, but it hasn’t been good for my relationship with money, which is expected I guess.

    Sure, it’s my own lifestyle choice and I claim it, trading financial security for freedom. A perspective of scarcity believing I can have one or the other which I’ll get into later. But this frame of mind didn’t help. As a money block is metaphysical, it will manifest in your life in different forms.

    I’ve been robbed several times. I have lost many things. I am, today, still owed thousands of dollars from friends I helped out, employers who withheld my payment after I left, and even an employer who did a runner with all the teacher’s salaries (yes I was one of them) during the pandemic, leaving dozens of teachers unpaid for months.

    Sometimes when I’m getting ahead, I’ll be slapped with an unexpected fine, bill, or medical expense. Something will come out of the water at the seemingly wrong time to kick me back to the ground. I have seemed to be unfortunate with money (look, another limiting belief).

    But this has been a process of learning. A process of seeing and understanding that if we don’t have a good relationship with money, the universe will find one way or another to point our attention to this block, until we overcome it.

    So, is the universe trying to keep us separated from money, or is it trying to teach us how to develop a better relationship with it? This is an important distinction because illuminating your struggles with money is the first step to developing a better relationship with it.

    Do money blocks correspond to your financial situation?

    Essentially, a money block sabotages your financial success, as it’s an emotional, psychological, and spiritual barrier to financial stability. Often with money blocks, there is a deeper underlying issue that is energetic. Think of it as an energetic wound that hasn’t yet healed.

    After all, we are magnets for our realities, based on factors like vibration. Money blocks impact your financial situation, but there is no direct correlation. Wealthy people may have money blocks. They may have accumulated a lot of wealth, yet hold a poverty mindset as if they’re still in survival.

    Likewise, some people who have little at all may have no money block. They may live an abundant life without thinking about money or stressing about money. They know that they are supported by the universe, spend it generously, and there’s no bad energy surrounding money.

    There is a metaphysical component to a money block. Something is out of tune with your energy, causing you to repel situations that bring in money. After all, currency is just some digits floating in a bank account. It’s not real, but the energy certainly is.

    What keeps people poor is not their abilities, knowledge, or any other thing preventing them from being financially successful, although these can be contributing factors. More so, what keeps people poor is a block that they perceive to be who they are, so they never overcome it, believing that there is no other option besides poverty.

    Of course, some people have advantages, some people have disadvantages. Someone raised in a wealthy, business-oriented family likely doesn’t have a money block as they were raised in a setting where money flowed, making it easy for them to step into this flow. Other people have to figure it out and start from ground zero, but it doesn’t mean they too can’t develop a healthy relationship with money, and thrive.

    How do we develop money blocks?

    Money block

    The beliefs and ideas your parents had around money usually set the stage for your relationship with money.

    Growing up, our minds are sponges, and we soak up the beliefs around us. Therefore, money blocks, in this sense, are often hereditary as an idea unconsciously seeded by the parent, and rooted in the child.

    See, my dad grew up in poverty. His dad abandoned him at the ripe age of 2, and his mother was left to take care of 4 kids, supported by welfare.

    Of course, being a caring kid, he took responsibility by helping out where he could, and cutting expenses where he could. He ended up doing fine for himself, currently retired and living a modest lifestyle. However, I feel I adopted some of these insecurities when I was younger.

    This seed can spout into feelings of unworthiness, or perhaps the idea that money is associated with feelings like stress and worry, so you begin to energetically push it away.

    Of course, we must take responsibility for our lives. Blaming someone else will not help you resolve a block, but it is important to identify the influences in your life that may have contributed to this block. By identifying where this money block may have come from, we can see more clearly why we developed it, and take action to resolve it.

    How money blocks manifest

    What you need to understand is that money is an energy. There’s a spiritual element to the transfer of money. There is a flow that some people are receptive to, and others shut themselves out from. It’s not about money per se, but rather abundance. Money is a tool (and only a tool) to help you create abundance in your life.

    Therefore, a money block isn’t simply about the acquisition of money. This energy will manifest in all sorts of ways, impacting your life financially, either for the better or worse, in myriad ways. As you can manifest joy and abundance, you can also manifest barriers.

    But how do you know if you have a money block?

    Well, usually it’s quite easy to gauge your relationship with money. If it flows easily and you feel no obstacles are preventing it from coming into your life abundantly, then you likely don’t have a money block. Likewise, if you feel abundant, then you probably don’t have a money block.

    But there’s a little more nuance to it. Sometimes it can be difficult to know whether you have a money block. Therefore, we’re going to look at some ways that money-related situations manifest in your life with both a positive relationship with money (no money block) and a negative relationship with money (a money block).

    Positive relationship with money

    • Job and work opportunities seem to come easily to you
    • Job opportunities are often high-paying
    • You don’t feel stressed about money
    • You feel abundant emotionally
    • You trust that you will always be taken care of by the universe
    • You are willing to spend and you aren’t afraid to treat yourself
    • Mostly positive emotions arise when thinking about money
    • You believe money is a good thing, and you like it
    • You know your worth and how much value you provide
    • You know how to receive and graciously accept
    • Money tends to come to you in mysterious ways (spontaneous gifts, unexpected refunds, great discounts, finding money, etc.)

    Negative relationship with money

    • Reasonable job opportunities are generally hard to come by
    • The jobs you work are generally low-paying
    • You think about all the competition and get discouraged easily
    • You are often taken advantage of in your work
    • You lack trust that you will be taken care of by the universe
    • You constantly think about how you’re going to make it through financially
    • You worry about spending
    • Mostly negative emotions arise when thinking about money
    • You have a stigma about money or associate it with greed
    • You tend to lose money regularly (unexpected fines, withheld payments, medical expenses, higher taxes, theft or robbery)
    • You tend to make bad business choices, either consciously or unconsciously
    • You tend to play the victim
    • You tend to self-sabotage when it comes to money-related opportunities
    • You feel stuck in your financial position or career
    • You may fear making money

    Inspect your beliefs about money

    Money block

    If you want to improve your relationship with money, you need to inspect your beliefs around money.

    When I think about money, I often feel stressed. Deeper thoughts start rising to the surface, such as ‘What happens if I run out’, ‘How will I ever afford a house’, and ‘I will never make it in life’. Accompanying these feelings is a thick blanket of dense emotions.

    Let me tell you, these beliefs, attitudes, and feelings certainly did not serve me. So you need to catch them when they pop up, knowing that they’re not going to do you any wonders.

    What feelings do you associate with money?

    Think about the feelings that arise when you think about money, work, or your financial situation. This is a good way to identify what you associate with money. Do any of the following emotions arise when you think about your financial situation or money in general?

    • Fear, worry, or stress (you are scared that you may not make it)
    • Shame (you feel ashamed of your financial situation, and tend to hide it)
    • Guilt (borrowing money from family or friends, not paying back a loan, taking more than you give, etc.)
    • Jealousy (you compare yourself to others)
    • Unfairness (you think the wealth gap is unjust)
    • Resentment (believing wealthy people are generally greedy)

    These are all low-vibrational energies, meaning they’re repellents for abundance. If low-vibrational energies arise when you think about money, then your relationship with money is low-vibrational = bad.

    The aim of the game is to get to a stage where you experience high-vibrational energies when you think about money, because these energies will begin to magnetize it. Energies you want to feel include gratitude, joy, love, compassion, generosity, and so forth.

    What negative influences may have contributed to this block?

    Think about different experiences or circumstances that may have led to this money block. Dig deep and think about your past, and any situation that you can remember that may have drilled a negative association with money.

    Here are some reasons why I may have developed this money block:

    • Remembering my parents complaining about money
    • Being bullied when I was a kid and being told I’m a loser
    • Feeling guilty for ordering on the more expensive side when eating out
    • Being rejected from many low-paying job offers that may have caused me to feel worthless
    • Being robbed multiple times
    • Being cheated by employers multiple times

    Now you do the same, and try to identify why you may have this block.

    What limiting beliefs do you have around money?

    Limiting beliefs are usually a major contributing factor to a money block. If you believe you are undeserving, or not good enough, or that money is hard to come by, then this is the reality you’re going to manifest for yourself.

    After all, we create our realities, and our focus plays a big role. Therefore, if you focus on limitations, hindrances, or blocks, these obstacles are going to become very real.

    I want you to write down all of your negative beliefs and ideas about money that don’t serve you.

    I’ll go first:

    1. I’m not good at business (I used to tell myself this a lot)
    2. I associated fortune with greed
    3. I felt unworthy (This is one I still struggle with sometimes, feeling that I don’t deserve wealth and fortune)
    4. I felt I couldn’t offer value in anything I did (believing I couldn’t add value to employers led to me throwing in the flag
    5. I don’t need money to be happy
    The latter is what I always told myself, not realizing that this mentality isn’t the shining beacon of spirituality I thought it was. Being on a spiritual journey, I would tell myself that I don’t need money, or that I don’t need money to be happy.
     
    Okay, now that we have diagnosed where these money blocks lie, it’s time to do the work.
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    How to change your beliefs around money

    Changing your beliefs around money

    Now let’s get to the most important stuff in this article. How can you overcome a money block? There are different techniques you can do such as journaling, meditating, and focusing on why you are holding yourself back from financial success.

    But there are also strategies or a deeper underlying wound you probably haven’t looked at. Let’s look at various solutions and techniques to overcome your money block.

    You need to work on your perception of wealth

    When I was living in the US, a friend of mine at the time told me something regarding abundance, and it stuck.

    She said… “Daniel, instead of seeing yourself as an entity that is separated from wealth, see yourself as a part of it. Money is everywhere, all around us, look at all of these beautiful houses. Right now, we are surrounded by billions of dollars of wealth. Stop seeing money as an external thing to you, step into it, and feel that you’re a part of it.”

    It took some time to understand what she was saying, but I began to see it. Now and then, like a pulse, I would feel as if I was connected to the wealth around me, that I was sharing the same land, resources, and scenery.

    Offset like epiphanies, I would feel connected to the wealth around me, almost like I’m adopting the feelings of the people who own these beautiful mansions. At times it would shift back and forth, connecting to the abundance around me, and then returning to separation.

    This paradigm shift can be tricky to stabilize, but when I shift into this higher perspective, that’s when I feel abundant. I believe if I can maintain this state, reality will reach a state of congruency with this vibration of feeling connected to the endless wealth around me.

    You need to work on your self-worth

    If you have a money block, I’m going to assume that you feel uncomfortable charging a reasonable price for a service you would be great at. You will always think about the competition, or that you’re not qualified enough, or experienced enough, or whatever excuse you tell yourself to avoid viewing your worth realistically.

    Maybe you have a lot of experience and skills, but you still think you offer no value. And that’s really what it comes down to. Your beliefs about how much value you offer.

    People with a healthy relationship with money may have near to no experience and not many skills, but somehow manage to charge a premium for their services and attract all the clients in the world. At first, when I saw people do this, I felt jealous, resentful even. I would get angry when people could create wealth so easily, while I felt much more qualified and struggled.

    But then I began to see that it’s not about what they’re offering, or who they are. It’s about their relationship with money. These people have a good relationship with money because they feel deserving. Therefore, money will flow to them through any venture, and they will likely help a lot of people doing so. After all, the external condition matches our internal worlds. These people feel worthy, so that worth manifests into clients or customers.

    But here’s the interesting thing, this is how it should be. Business should be easy. Making money should be easy. If you struggle more than you should, then these struggles are likely manifestations of a money block. Therefore, a core ingredient to transcend this money block lies in improving your self-worth.

    Convince yourself that making money is easy

    While you hold onto the belief that money is difficult to make, it’s going to be difficult to make. That’s the reality you’re manifesting through this deeply ingrained belief system. Sometimes I shift from two different frames of mind.

    1. I get sucked into the idea of how hard it is to make money
    2. I feel as if there are a million opportunities that I’m the perfect candidate for

    I’ve noticed that there is a clear trend here. When I’m in a frame where money is hard to make, there’s too much competition, and nobody wants to hire me because I have nothing to offer, guess what?

    I struggle, even for the most basic, low-paying jobs. It’s like that frame of mind becomes the barrier, and creates a very real situation. But when this belief shifts. I think about all the different things I could do and genuinely believe that the employer would be silly not to take me on their team. Suddenly, opportunities seem to materialize out of thin air and I get choice paralysis.

    This is a very tangible shift in vibration and state of consciousness. All the best work opportunities in my life have materialized during this higher vibrational state.

    So how can you shift your perception of life to see yourself as a valuable asset? How can you pivot your frame of consciousness to feel like the world is abundant in opportunities? Perhaps you can try to embody this state through meditation, or by reflecting on the times in your life when you stepped into this flow of abundance.

    Think about all the things you can do, and the jobs you would be good at (even if you don’t have the education or training yet), and write them down. Continuously reinforce the idea that you’re the best candidate for these jobs, and encourage yourself to shift into this higher paradigm.

    Change the way you feel about the success of others

    Think about how you feel when other people seemingly put in much less effort than you, but get much better results.

    Maybe it’s that person at work who doesn’t seem to do a whole lot but tends to be celebrated by the workplace. How about a competitor for your blog, YouTube channel, or other creative pursuit that is overtaking you?

    How does this make you feel? The reason I ask is because it’s an important indicator of a money block. If you feel upset when other people get ahead, what is that telling you? You need to recognize these feelings of jealousy or envy and try to pivot towards feelings of… gratitude.

    What you want to do is change this perception so that you can genuinely feel happy for the person, like you’re on the same team rather than a losing competitor. Yes, this can take practice, it can take patience. But the aim is to recognize when you feel this competitive sense rather than cheering on your fellow humans and vicariously basking in their success.

    I created a YouTube video that delves into this topic in more depth which you can find here.

    Change your energy around money

    As with everything, vibration is a magnet. If your vibration around money is low – that is to experience dense energies such as fear, stress, or guilt, then energetically you act as a repellant. If your vibration is high where you experience positive energies around money, then you will attract more of it.

    Likewise, when you pay something, do you feel a low vibrational energy or a high vibrational energy? Do you pay for things with gratitude and excitement, feeling happy to be exchanging, or do you feel worried that you’re losing money?

    Of course, you too need to put in the physical work and create the physical foundation to attract money, but without the right energy behind it, you’re casting a fishing net into a stagnant pond. You need both components to attract more money into your life, being:

    • The physical foundation (if you have a lake abundant in fish but no net, money won’t flow in
    • The right energy (if you have a net but no water, money won’t flow in)

    Therefore, you need to create a system that allows opportunities to come in such as:

    • Offer a service or have a website
    • Apply for jobs
    • Invest
    • Network and talk to people
    • Make yourself a presence on social media

    But you need to make the abundance flow via your vibration so that opportunities can find you. Therefore, make sure money has a physical route to enter your life, then once the energy is right, it will find you.

    Challenge your negative beliefs around money

    If you want to move the needle, you need to constantly challenge your beliefs, and be aware when they come to the surface. As we explored earlier in this article, negative money beliefs can come in many different forms.

    For example, if you begin hesitating when you’re about to buy something you want, acknowledge that feeling, realize it’s coming from a place of scarcity, and buy it. If you start feeling fear, think about why you’re feeling fear, and where that fear comes from.

    Talk yourself through each money-related decision, and do it consciously. Verbally challenge yourself when you put up a barrier to money. Negotiate with yourself and justify why you deserve to come from a place of abundance.

    This may require you to think logically and put some steps into place to alleviate those worries, or maybe you can shift the sensation by feeling into it and discarding it.

    I find that meditation is your best friend here. When a negative belief starts surfacing, you need to go into it. Sit with it for as long as it takes, allow your mind to wonder, and you’ll find the emotion dissipates. Do this every time you feel overcome by emotion, and it will help you get out of that negative spiral. This is a game-changer for me. So try it yourself.

    Start visualizing a good relationship with money

    Have you ever noticed that people who don’t think about paying for something and just do it don’t tend to have issues with money? It’s the people who hesitate, and overthink it, analyzing whether they need this, if they should allow themselves to splurge this time… and then feeling guilty when they do.

    I find the best way to get out of the scarcity mindset is to visualize. As much as you can, envision what it feels like to receive a big paycheck, or have money coming in. Can you embody this feeling? What physiological symptoms accompany it? Would you feel a rush, a sense of relief, would you start jumping with joy?

    Emotionally put yourself in the position of your future self when you are abundant. The purpose of this exercise is to mimic the feelings of abundance, which will start closing the gap between you and abundance.

    Working on an exciting project that you enjoy and constantly thinking about its growth and success can help you get on the right track.

    Work on your solar-plexus chakra

    Your solar plexus chakra is your center of power, confidence, and stability. Therefore, when this chakra is functioning optimally, people tend to feel secure in their lives. Often, issues around money are related to a blockage or issue with your solar plexus chakra. Your money block may be a direct or indirect manifestation of a blockage in this chakra.

    The best way to see whether your money block is related to a chakra is to think about other associated experiences with this chakra, to gauge whether the money block is an anomaly (may not be related to the chakra), or if it fits the pattern.

    As the solar plexus chakra is your sense of power, other qualities and experiences that are related to this chakra include:

    • Sense of personal power and confidence
    • Assertiveness
    • Willpower
    • Courage
    • Sense of responsibility
    • Sense of integrity
    • Sense of purpose

    As may be able to relate money and finances to these traits or characteristics. For example, you tend to feel more powerful and confident when you are doing well financially. Therefore, if you notice that some of these areas are also lacking in your life, there may be a connection.

    How can you use money in a good way?

    Think about what you will do when you develop a good relationship with money. How can you use your wealth in a way that benefits everyone? How can you use money in a way that makes you want it?

    My big dream is to buy some land and develop a holistic healing center. By doing so, I could help a lot of people, and it would give me a good sense of purpose. This mission anchors me and makes me feel good when I think about money. It overrides any negative feelings if I hold this vision because in this case, there is no downside to having lots of money where I can afford such a venture.

    Let your imagination run wild because you need this focus if you want to overcome this money block. You need to see that having a good relationship with money is a good thing because you can use it in ways that benefit everyone.

    Overcome the money block

    Overcoming the money block can be a process, and you shouldn’t expect instant results, especially if the block is deeply rooted.

    You need to work on all aspects of your consciousness that may manifest this money block, including physically (what can you do in the real world to improve your money flow), psychologically (what limiting mindsets are preventing you from acquiring money), emotional (what emotional barriers do you have towards money), and spiritually (what is the deeper cause preventing you from manifesting money?).

    Tackle this block from every angle, and it will be a matter of time until you improve your relationship with money and see it flowing into your life in beautiful ways. Remember, everyone can be abundant, you just need to do the work.

  • Humility Vs Pride: How To Find The Right Blanace

    Ever since embarking on a spiritual journey, I always thought that humility is the ultimate goal of anyone who’s trying to get closer to truth. Although humility is an important part of spiritual growth, in its pursuit we tend to neglect its estranged cousin – Pride.

    Pride is often seen as the bad guy – every spiritual seeker’s nemesis. We get the idea in our heads from all these transcendent Gurus and egoless mystics that ego = bad, and that pride is associated with the ego.

    To some extent, pride is associated with the ego, especially when we develop a distorted sense of self-importance. However, pride isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

    On one hand, we should be proud of who we are and what we have accomplished. We should have some pride because it’s a propeller that pushes us to achieve more. On the other hand, we can also veer too far into pride where it evolves into its toxic counterpart – Arrogance.

    We can definitely become too prideful, and we can also feel no pride at all. Either way, it’s a disadvantage. For the healthiest balance, we should have some pride, but it must be counterweighted with humility. 

    This is why it’s important to discuss humility vs pride in this article and explore how can can find the right balance that helps us navigate life in the best possible way. 

    Humility vs pride: What’s the difference?

    Humility

    Humility and pride are often seen as opposite sides of the same spectrum, and generally, we value humility over pride. Humility is seen as a virtue while pride on the other hand is often seen as a sin – the shameful counterpart.

    Yes, generally speaking, we should be humble. We shouldn’t boast or brag about our achievement, or believe that we are above anyone. However, we do need some self-importance in this day and age, otherwise, we’re not going to create the lives we want.

    Being humble involves recognizing our limitations, faults, and flaws realistically, and valuing everyone around us. It’s a view of life where we see ourselves as a small part of a much larger system, in which we wouldn’t be where we are without others.

    In contrast, pride is often seen as an inflated sense of self-importance. Someone who has too much pride tends to believe that their achievements overshadow others which leads to arrogance, egocentrism, and eventually disconnection.

    But life isn’t as black and white as one constituent being a good characteristic and one being a bad characteristic. We should feel some pride in our lives as long as it’s kept in moderation. Likewise, if we’re overly modest, then we won’t get the recognition we deserve which can stunt our relationships, career, and even spiritual growth.

    Humility and pride are a double-edged sword There needs to be a balance between them if we are to achieve balanced lives where we can excel in what we do and feel good about it, but not let that bloat out egos.

    Often in my life when I’m getting a little too head-full, the universe will give me a cosmic slap in the face and knock me off my podium as if it’s trying to teach me a valuable lesson: humility.

    There seems to be a mechanism where if I’m not genuinely feeling humble along my spiritual pursuits, I’ll soon land in a situation where I can’t avoid that lesson.

    But it’s a double-edged sword. At other times my self-worth will take a beating. Humility will wither into discouragement or a lack of drive. I’ll feel unmotivated and believe that I can never contribute anything of value to the world.

    Ideally, I think it’s best to achieve our dreams, but at the same time not get a big head about it. When people strike the right balance between pride and humility, they can be successful and proud of themselves for achieving the lives they did. But they’re also down-to-earth and modest and don’t feel like they’re above anyone.

    You see, humility is good as long as it’s back with some pride. Pride is good as long as it’s moderated with humility. Together, they make a great team that encourages our growth in all areas without toxicity.

    Healthy pride vs toxic pride

    Pride often gets a bad rap these days. After all, it’s considered to be one of the seven deadly sins. Pride can be a bad thing, sure, but when it’s moderated with humility, it can become a force for good.

    Let’s break this down into 2 categories:

    • Healthy pride: When you are proud of who you are, but it’s contrasted with humility
    • Toxic pride: An exaggerated sense of self-importance with a lack of humility

    Generally speaking, we want to be humble, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be proud of our achievements. We should be proud of ourselves because at healthy doses pride leads to higher self-esteem and confidence.

    Too much pride isn’t good because it becomes toxic. It leads to arrogance, egocentrism, and a bloated sense of self-importance. But we’re only looking at one side of the coin.

    This is the distinction we need to make.

    Why some pride is necessary in this day and age

    Unless you’re a guru spending his years in solitude, or a self-sufficient farmer who has no need for the amenities of the modern world, we need to have some fighting force behind us, otherwise, we’ll never stand out from the crowd.

    As pride relates to our sense of self-importance, it can be a desirable and necessary force to become someone. We want to think highly of ourselves. We want to believe that we are the best candidate for a job, or that we have what it takes to succeed because if we have no pride, we have no fight.

    In the ideal world, we could spend our lives meditating and being one with nature, but there’s a reality we need to face.

    We need money, we need to work, and we need to survive. Unfortunately for most of us, we don’t have the luxury to be nobody. Not if we want to raise families, support our parents, and afford to have a comfortable life in this economy.

    Especially in the digital age if we’re trying to market ourselves or a product, we want to come across as an authority in the space. If you’re too humble, nobody is going to take you seriously as an expert. If you’re too prideful, you tend to oversell yourself and look crummy at best, or like a scam at worst.

    You need a balance of humility and pride to be taken seriously.

    This allows you to portray your authority and experience, but to do it in a way that doesn’t boast. A balance of pride and humility allows you to feel that you can provide value to others, but also be down-to-earth and relatable.

    As someone who is also trying to make it in the digital world, I have struggled to find the balance between asserting what I know and remaining humble as I do it. Oftentimes I won’t speak up, because who am I assume I know it all. Other times I will become too self-focused. Being too far on either side of the spectrum isn’t helpful!

    From my experiences, people tend to respect me more (and take what I say more seriously) when I’m not positioning myself as a teacher, but rather an ordinary person who is sharing his truth.

    But it must be genuine, not because you’re trying to look good because that creates false humility.

    I find a good balance by speaking from my own experiences and avoiding stating anything as objective truth. I suggest being authentic to what you know and what you’re learning, and being transparent.

    This is good because it humanizes you, and it also keeps your ego in check by bringing your attention to what you don’t know.

    Humility vs Pride in our relationships

    Humility vs pride in our relationships

    Humility opens doors in relationships.

    We’re more willing to connect with others when we genuinely feel humble. Likewise, we tend to seek understanding from different perspectives which of course is an essential ingredient in a healthy, respectful relationship, whether it’s with your partner, kids, parents, friends, or work associates.

    Generally speaking, humility is an attractive trait because it shows others that we aren’t caught up in trying to prove ourselves. There’s nothing more unattractive than someone who thinks he’s the center of the world, especially if he can’t walk the talk.

    Generally in the context of relationships, pride isn’t something to be proud of… but there is a balance. I’ve experienced the contrary, that this hasn’t worked well for me in my professional life (or romantic life) either.

    One of my biggest issues in life is feeling worthy.

    As long as I can remember, I haven’t valued myself or my work nearly as much as I should. Even when people tell me that I’m talented or skilled, I would shrug it off and say “It’s okay, but it’s nothing compared to other people out there”.

    I would undervalue what I give and feel ashamed of asking for money. This has resulted in being severely underpaid, doing lots of things for free, and barely making enough to get by. This lack of self-worth led to a money block which exacerbated this dynamic and further deflated my self-worth.

    I understand more clearly now that having some pride is an important component of self-worth, confidence, and building a healthy relationship with money. If you have no pride, you’re not going to value your work or feel comfortable asking to get paid for it. If you don’t value your work, other people won’t either.

    This is why we need some pride if we’re going to ‘make it’ in life because it plays an important role in self-evaluation.

    Healthy pride can motivate us to advocate for ourselves, but excessive pride can harm relationships, whether they be with family, romantically, or professionally. When expressed healthily, pride helps us maintain boundaries and advocate for our needs.

    Why humility is important in a spiritual context

    We often view humility as a religious thing, but is it?

    Humility has always had close ties with spirituality, regardless of the religion or belief system because it’s seen as an important key in our relationship with god – however you want to define it.

    Every spiritual belief system I know teaches the seeker to be a servant to god. Sure, the interpretation of god changes, whether it’s the Great Spirit, the Universe, the collective consciousness, or the Divine Self, but it’s a recurring theme within spirituality so there must be some truth in it.

    Logically, it makes sense.

    Humility allows us to let go of the ego and connect more deeply with spirit, which is commonly portrayed as the path to god. The ego is like the plug and pronounces our humanness, so naturally, when we move further from the ego, we connect more deeply with the soul.

    In this context, pride is often seen as an attachment, which isn’t seen as a helpful part of spiritual evolution. While humility is often seen as a symbol of wisdom – that which is associated with spiritual growth, healthy pride is also an important part of the human experience that we can’t neglect, despite how far we delve into spirituality.

    During our spiritual journeys, it’s particularly easy to lose modesty and form a spiritual ego. This is a common problem many of us face as we grow, and likewise, it’s a part of growth – to find the right balance with humility.

    Recognizing where we fall on this spectrum helps us gain a balanced perspective that honors our accomplishments and acknowledges our continuous journey of learning. By practicing humility without losing sight of our worth, we can find a grounded approach to spiritual growth.

    Finding the right balance between humility and pride

    Striking a balance between humility and pride isn’t about choosing one over the other. It’s about knowing when each serves you best. The most growth happens when humility keeps us open to learning while pride motivates us to value our progress. 

    It’s no wonder why the teachers in my life who I consider to be very advanced are often also very humble, yet at the same time very well accomplished. They never claim to know anything but could talk your ear off for hours about particular subjects.

    The most successful people strike the right balance of humility vs pride because if you lean too far in either direction, it becomes a disadvantage. Balancing humility and pride is more than just a practice. It’s a lifelong dance, one that leads to a more meaningful life when we do it right.

  • Self-Sabotaging behavior: Here’s Why You Want To Fail

    I’ve recently noticed a reoccurring pattern of self-sabotaging behavior in my life.

    When something seems to be going well like a blossoming relationship, a developing friendship, or landing a dream job that has me over the moon, it never lasts – not because I can’t maintain it, but because I unconsciously sabotage it.

    Therefore, I end up heartbroken by my own foolish decisions. I make no effort to maintain connections with those who were once like siblings to me. I’ve forfeited incredible opportunities because I didn’t play by the rules, and sometimes, I wonder what I could have had.

    Whatever happens, I revert to a subpar life situation – dwelling in despair and wondering how I went so wrong. However, acknowledging that a part of me wants to fail is the hardest pill to swallow, but the most important.

    In this article, I’ll guide you through my process of realization, healing, and transformation to finally end self-sabotaging behavior.

    You deserve to have an incredible life, you just need to stop getting in your way.

    What is self-sabotaging behavior?

    self-sabotaging behavior

    Self-sabotaging behavior is your conscious or unconscious desire to derail a positive situation in your life. Think of self-sabotage as getting in the way of your own success because you have unconscious fears about being successful.

    Recently, I sacrificed a dream job by not abiding by the rules. Even when the people I worked for adored me and looked the other way, I made sure to be a little careless.

    So once again, I gave up something truly good for me, leading me into an uncomfortable but familiar downward spiral. Over the last several months, I had to take a hard look at my shadows and make a declaration to the universe that enough is enough.

    Some of the common areas of life people self-sabotage include:

    • Healthy and meaningful relationships
    • Career and good job opportunities
    • Money and finances
    • Health and wellness
    • Enriching new opportunities and life experiences

    Essentially, you can sabotage anything in your life that you don’t believe you are deserving of.

    My sense of comfort and familiarity is attached to struggle. Therefore, there is an unconscious compulsion to revert to the familiar, even if it causes misery. This is why I have sabotaged good things in my life because I was familiar with the pain of struggling.

    Why do people self-sabotage?

    People tend to self-sabotage when they feel unworthy or inadequate of the things they want.

    As soon as something is going well in their lives, a little voice kicks in saying ‘Woah, woah, hold up! Your home is back here in the shadows, you don’t really want to abandon your home, do you?’

    Self-sabotaging behavior has been one of the most stubborn patterns in my life, and now I realize it comes from a place of inadequacy – believing I’m not worthy of the good things life is providing.

    There have been a few instances of beautiful relationships that I have sabotaged because I didn’t feel worthy – despite my partners at the time believing so.

    During one blossoming relationship with a beautiful Colombian woman who I felt was way out of my league, I decided to move to another country instead of pursuing the relationship.

    Years later when I was in Mexico traveling with a wonderful woman, I complicated the situation by involving an ex-girlfriend, and everything fell apart.

    Another relationship with a woman who founded a successful business when I was living in the United States fell apart because my insecurities came out in full swing and got the best of me.

    So… here are the common themes.

    These women were beautiful and like-minded, and we had great chemistry. They were all fun and down to Earth, and I could potentially see myself settling down with either one of them.

    So what on Earth happened? How did I keep screwing this up in the worst possible way?

    I ended (or caused an end to) these relationships because it was easier.

    It seems obvious from an outside glance, but these are unconscious patterns, meaning I didn’t think about the repercussions. These actions were out of character – leading to the dissolution of the relationship and a whole lot of pain to ensue.

    How do people self-sabotage?

    Certain behaviors are common among people who self-sabotage. People who self-sabotage are unconsciously looking for the consequences – meaning they’re likely to act out of line to evoke a reaction.

    Some common forms of self-sabotaging behavior involve:

    • Picking fights with people when there is a clear solution
    • Exacerbating small issues into big problems
    • Neglecting health and wellness
    • Abusing substances
    • Procrastinating rather than getting the job done
    • Being a perfectionist and focusing on trivial details
    • Remaining in painful, but comfortable life situations
    • Being dishonest or lying about something that will stir the pot
    • Being avoidant and deliberately missing out on good opportunities
    • Being intentionally late to something where punctuality is necessary
    • Being unattentive or unusually forgetful
    • Making basic mistakes that are easily avoided

    How to correct self-sabotaging behavior

    Man doing work in office

    As with any painful reoccurring pattern, awareness is the first step towards true change. Without recognizing when you are self-sabotaging, you’re bound to continue doing it.

    Think back to the different themes in your life where you could have prevented something good from falling apart. Where did you let yourself down, and how often has this happened?

    What exactly did you do, and has it happened before?

    Use the previous list of common self-sabotaging behaviors to identify if any of them seem familiar. Perhaps with awareness, you will notice when you’re slipping into this painful pattern, to deter it.

    Developing awareness of self-sabotage requires taking accountability for your mistakes. If you’re caught in a victim loop or deferred responsibility by pointing the finger, these painful situations will keep happening.

    So be honest with yourself to know what exactly you’re looking for.

    Reflect on the patterns

    Reflection tends to move the needle because it encourages insights that you may have previously brushed over.

    By spending time thinking about why you did what you did and how you could act differently, you’re more likely to catch the pattern if it begins to reoccur. Essentially, you want to get to the roots of it. What is causing you to sabotage yourself? Does it come from a place of:

    • Self-hate
    • Low self-esteem
    • Inadequacy
    • Fear

    Do any of these reasons ring true to you? If not, what do you think could be the root cause of this painful pattern? Reflecting on these patterns can hurt because you will confront aspects of yourself you wish you could avoid.

    Perhaps you will encounter guilt or shame from a previous experience. Maybe you will see that you are the reason you’re failing, which is difficult.

    But it is progress.

    The more you think back to these patterns and reflect, the more this pattern will start to make sense.

    Forgive yourself for being human

    The hardest part about self-sabotage is the feeling of guilt that ensues after realizing I’ve (deliberately) let myself down. That guilt haunts me. In particular cases I carried that emotional baggage for years – the icing on the cake.

    But I realized that I don’t need to add insult to injury. Sure, it’s important to learn from the situation to better recognize when I self-sabotage. But forgiveness is also important because guilt only adds fuel to the issue that caused self-sabotage.

    See how you can get caught in a spiral?

    Learn to forgive yourself for times when you’ve blown a good situation. You are only human, so don’t judge yourself for making these mistakes.

    Make sure that you learn from your mistakes and move forward, otherwise let the past be the past.

    Heal the underlying wound

    A trauma response can drive self-sabotaging behavior. If you have an unhealed wound relating to a particular experience, you may sabotage related future experiences.

    For example, if you went on a date and it went horribly, you may avoid other opportunities for dates because you don’t want to relive the previous experience. Even though you could be passing wonderful opportunities with incredible people, the negative experience influences you.

    As the desire to self-sabotage comes from a wound, you’re bound to continue doing it if that wound is still open. That’s why it’s important to sink into the feelings associated with the wound and do the healing.

    Another common wound that causes self-sabotaging behavior is feeling inadequate. Likely due to childhood experiences, you developed an inferiority complex.

    Your lack of self-worth makes you believe that you cannot have good things when they come to you. If someone good does come to you, you push it away because unconsciously you believe you’re undeserving.

    Now that you’ve identified the pattern, you’ve discovered the wound, you need to heal. Work on the root cause of this problem, and heal the darkness causing this behavior. You can get started with the article below:

    Stop identifying as a failure

    Your identity drives your behavior.

    If you identify as a victim, guess what you’ll do to reinforce that image?

    That’s right, you’ll look for ways to be a victim because it reinforces your sense of self. But this sense of self is fundamentally broken which is why you need to change it.

    Changing your identity can take time, but you want to continuously reinforce patterns and behaviors that align with a happier perception of self. Here you can utilize techniques such as affirmations or practice letting go techniques to remove an identity that doesn’t serve you.

    When you form a healthier identity that inspires hope, motivation, and inspiration, you’re less likely to self-sabotage because you want to be congruent with this new identity.

    Make a declaration that you are worthy

    Now I want you to genuinely declare your intention to stop self-sabotaging once and for all.

    Say it to the universe, god, Jesus, Buddha, whatever your faith is tied to, and say it from the heart. You need to affirm that you’re going to stop self-sabotaging because it’s within your power.

    There is a lot of power behind declaring an end to something, but say it with heart. You need to feel it here and truly make this declaration. It should be a powerful energy that you bring into your life.

    Scream it out or speak it through prayer, just make sure you say it.

    You are worthy of having a good life. Having a wonderful life is your birthright, so don’t be afraid to take what is inherently yours.

    By stopping self-sabotaging behavior, you set yourself on a better course of prosperity and happiness that you are deserving of. Be the best person you can be, but realize you have earned a good life.

    Enjoy your life and stop blowing the opportunities.

  • It’s Okay To Fail, You’re Only Human

    It’s Okay To Fail, You’re Only Human

    Life seemed straightforward when we were children before being hit with the complexities of life. We thought we had it all figured out: Finish school, go to university, get a job, live a happy life.

    It’s a simple road we ought to follow. So… we try to figure it out. We try to become our best selves. We try to fit into the picturesque bubble of a happy life we once envisioned. But sooner or later, you will mess up. You will fail. You will make mistakes.

    But it’s okay to fail, to feel defeated, and to give up at times. It’s a core ingredient in self-betterment. In theory, personal growth is a linear curve. You identify an issue – You overcome the issue – You never experience that struggle again.

    In actuality, the human experience is missing from the equation. Personal growth is a labyrinth. It’s messy, it’s erratic, and you’ll wind up at the same point, again and again, until you finally get it. If you’re striving for perfection, you’re on the wrong path. Perhaps the wrong planet.

    Perfectionism is a flaw because the desire to avoid mistakes will cause more struggle in the long run. You are a beautiful, messy creature, and embracing the idea that you are only human is a step toward true realization – that you are so much more.

    The human experience is messy

    It's okay to fail

    I’ve been on a spiritual journey since my spiritual awakening in my early 20s, and this journey has certainly taken me places. With that said, sometimes a challenge will present itself at the right time to knock me off my pedestal.

    After backpacking the world and living in many interesting cultures, in 2023 I returned to Australia for the first time in 5 years. I stayed with my mum as I didn’t have anything to my name. No money, no car, no home, no job. Life has started again, and to be honest, I felt like a failure.

    One night, I had a particularly painful argument with her. I saw a part of me I hadn’t seen in a very long time – a childish part I thought I had evolved beyond a long time ago. Regardless of how much shadow work I had done, my ego commandeered under the perfect storm of difficult circumstances, and it was out for blood.

    I felt very guilty in the following days. The shame of regressing to old patterns layered on top of the pain I caused. After all this inner work, how could I revert to the wounded, insecure child I once was? I should have known better. I shouldn’t have been triggered after all the shadow work. I should have not been reactive like I was. I was ashamed that I wasn’t better than that.

    The next day I made amends and patched up the situation best as I knew how, but the guilt remained. Then a moment of clarity came to me. This inner voice said:

    Do you think you’re going to get it right all the time? It is your birthright to make mistakes, you’re only human. It’s okay to fail, get off the spiritual high horse!

    From that moment, something clicked.

    We are designed as imperfect beings to live imperfect lives. If we always got it right, there would be no improvement. Part of life is to make mistakes and fail. Sure, we should strive to do our best, learn from our mistakes, and grow, but failing is a part of growth. If you want to continue growing for the rest of your life, you must also continue failing.

    Do not feel guilty about mucking up sometimes. Do your best to continually improve and recognize that to fail is to be human.

    Stop aiming for perfection

    The fallacy of imperfection

    It’s natural to make mistakes and you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for doing so. Naturally, we’re going to spin our wheels sometimes by trying to have our shit together all the time. We like to think we have evolved beyond reason, that we’ve triumphed in all of our battles, but I assure you not a single human ever has.

    We’re all trying to become the best versions of ourselves, but abandoning the fundamental truth that we’re humans for a reason.

    We’re here to muck up and not have it all together. We’re here to make mistakes. The very essence of life is imperfection, and imperfection is within everything. If you don’t see it, look behind the scenes.

    I was teased a lot during school for my difficulty learning, my lack of social skills, my lanky frame, two buck teeth, and multiple birthing defects – To the point I truly believed I was an abomination.

    With time, I began my healing journey – Packing all my belongings into my backpack and soul-searching for 8 years, a journey I’m still committed to today. I wish I could tell you that I found myself and that I won all my battles. But the truth is, I found acceptance in my brokenness and beauty in my imperfection.

    I see many people on their spiritual journeys who are afraid of being human. They put on masks to pretend they are sages and gurus. But this is a problem because trying to be perfect often results in:

    1. A beautiful facade covering up the real dysfunction
    2. An avoidance of shadow work and genuine healing
    3. Disintegration of the true self
    4. A limited expression of self
    5. The development of a spiritual ego

    In short, trying to be perfect results in spiritual bypassing. Not to mention that perfection is ugly. It’s robotic, it’s boring. Perfection is an oxymoron, a logical fallacy.

    The soul shines from the authentic self, not a mask. So please, stop trying to be perfect and allow yourself to be human – for better and for worse. Transcending my limitations didn’t bring me fulfillment but finding peace with the human experience did.

    I’m sure you’ve learned a great deal along your personal growth journey. You’ve become a better person and learned how to open your heart. There’s no doubt that your achievements are quite remarkable. Likely, you don’t even realize how far you’ve come until you look back at who you once were.

    But you still carry the pain of not living up to the image you want to be. We tend to be our own harshest critics.

    Whether it’s your figure, your lisp, your behaviors, or the way you view the world. I imagine you hate some of your flaws, and spend a lot of energy trying to fix them. While we should be striving for personal growth and transformation, we must not lose sight of who we are right now.

    I’ve discovered that the true essence of life is in continuous learning and growth. As long as you’re always trying to improve but doing it genuinely where you’re in touch with your humanness, you’re setting a much better foundation for a happier, more authentic life experience.

    Normalize your mistakes

    Ego death

    I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. It’s okay to fail. Failure must be normalized as a natural part of life rather than being perceived as something undesirable. Sure, it sucks to make mistakes. It’s painful to feel like you’re regressing into old patterns, but beating yourself up about it isn’t productive.

    Mistakes are opportunities for growth and learning. If you were perfect, then you would stagnate. If you’re truly committed to your spiritual growth journey, stagnation is something you probably don’t want.

    Growth is the spark that drives us. It’s what makes this human adventure fun, knowing that we’re constantly making mistakes, learning, and most importantly – progressing. Life is a dance, two steps forward and one step back. Two steps back and three steps forward. You may not be where you want to be, but you are moving.

    Therefore, you must normalize mistakes as a normal human experience. You must go through the hard yards to become a better person. If it was easy, everyone would be spiritual masters.

    Just because you’re failing doesn’t mean you’re regressing. This is an important distinction you need to make. As long as you are constantly learning from your experiences and doing the best you can do given what you know, regression does not exist.

    If you’re constantly slipping into old patterns or winding up in the same painful situation, then you haven’t learned the lesson – which is why you continue to prompt it.

    Although making mistakes is a part of life, aim to grow through each one of them.

    Don’t use your humanness as an excuse to stay trapped in the same perpetual patterns. You want to be making progress too by leveraging each mistake for your self-betterment.

    Acknowledge that you will make mistakes, but also do your best to learn from them.

    Embrace your vulnerability

    The impermenance of life

    Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a key to embracing your humanness. Wearing a mask will only hide all the things you need to work on, but those issues are still under the surface, waiting for the opportune moment to strike. Accepting your humanness means you need to be vulnerable.

    Being vulnerable means to:

    • Be genuine with your true feelings and emotions
    • Allow other people to see your weaknesses
    • Openly display your flaws without trying to hide them
    • Look at your dark side honestly and with humility
    • Be honest with your insecurities
    • Allow yourself to feel like shit sometimes

    By looking at yourself through an unbiased human lens rather than a filter of either self-depredation or self-centrism, you’re on a much better path.

    Your vulnerabilities aren’t something to be afraid of. They make you human. People will relate to you better if they see you’re not a mechanical being who has issues. It brings warmth to the human experience, and that is something you can’t buy with perfectionism.

    Be genuine

    Most people wear masks to present an image of the person they want to be seen as. Wearing a facade has become so normalized in today’s world that many people lose sight of who they are.

    I understand. We all want to feel validated. We want to feel approved of and like we’re important. That’s why you put up this image that you are a big success in life. This need for validation is why ‘spiritual people’ often come across as having mastered the ways of the universe.

    It’s an ego trap.

    Not being true to who you really are and where you’re currently at doesn’t serve you. It complicates your personal growth journey because you can’t be real with what you need. Just be yourself. Trust me on this one, it’s going to work in your favor.

    Celebrate your humanity

    Being human is a celebration of our flaws, vulnerability, and humanity. Appreciating the fact that we don’t have it all together is what gives this life journey soul. We were all born unique. Just how individual we all are is just one of the many wonders of life, and it must be celebrated, even if it’s tough. Even if it’s painful.

    Anyone on a personal growth journey will come to a point where they need to accept themselves for who they are. Within your uniqueness is your power. It’s not by becoming the same as everyone else that you contribute to the world.

    Service occurs by leveraging your flaws and bringing authenticity into the equation. Humanity needs the human touch more than ever right now because our world is so disconnected. People are lost, confused, and looking for comfort in our shared humanity, not our shared perfectionism.

    Practicing self-compassion allows you to feel comfortable with your flawed self. When you’re comfortable with your flawed self, you will more easily express yourself as you’re not trying to hide in the shadows anymore.

    When you learn to find joy in your imperfect humanity, you’re going to have much more fun within this small window of being a human.

    Dissolving guilt of failing

    The fear of failure

    As long as you feel guilty for making human errors, you’re weighing yourself down. Guilt is the final straw preventing you from fully embracing the human experience. So I ask you:

    Can you forgive yourself for being human? Can you forgive yourself for being ‘less’ than the people out there flaunting their victory, wealth, status, or fame?

    When you muck up, yet again, can you tell yourself that it’s okay instead of berating yourself for not doing better? In my experiences, I’ve found that forgiving myself is the best way to dissolve my guilt for making mistakes – whether those mistakes have been self-sabotaging, or genuine inadequacy.

    Despite being on a journey of spiritual growth for many years where I’ve done some pretty cool stuff, I will always come back to the humbling conclusion, one way or another – that I’m only human.

    By accepting that you’re only human, you permit yourself to truly live the human experience.

  • How to Manifest Joy When You’re Suffering

    You’ve probably heard plenty about manifestation: Put your energy into something you want, and it’ll materialize into your reality. Sounds great and all, but sometimes manifestation can be a little confusing.

    Maybe things just aren’t going your way. No matter how hard you try to turn your life around, inevitably you seem to be sucked deeper into this abyss of misery.

    So you’re worried.

    What if this job opportunity falls through?

    What if this date doesn’t go as planned?

    What if my life comes crashing down?

    While in this state of fear, you’re thinking this whole manifestation thing isn’t as easy as it has been laid out to be.

    That’s why I want to clear some things up in this article.

    Here we’re going to explore manifesting joy when you’re in a low vibrational state because it can feel like an uphill battle. We’re going to look at how you can fix the manifestation engine to attract experiences into your life that bring you an abundance of joy.

    How does manifestation work?

    Person feeling afraid

    I’m not going to dive too deep into manifestation here as I’ve written a comprehensive article on it. but here’s the gist.

    Manifestation refers to the law of attraction – A spiritual law of the universe.

    Energy is energy, meaning your internal reality will create a congruency with your external reality, to create what I call energetic osmosis. Vibration acts as a magnet which creates a congruency with the external condition.

    If you’re in low-vibrational states where you’re experiencing feelings such as fear, the external universe will match this vibration – Meaning you will attract more experiences that are on the same wavelength as fear.

    On the other hand, if you’re experiencing high-vibrational states such as love and gratitude, the same phenomenon occurs. More experiences will unfold in your life that resonate with your frequency – Because the external reality wants to be in balance with the internal reality.

    Can you manifest joy if you’re feeling down?

    If you’re in a low-vibrational state where you’re feeling scared, worried, or stressed, manifesting high-vibrational experiences into your life won’t work. At least not until you raise your vibration.

    This is a big misconception I want to address.

    First off, if you put all of your focus on creating positive experiences while you feel miserable – You’re spiritually bypassing, and this is going to come back around and kick your butt.

    Spiritual bypassing is when you shift your focus towards experiences of positivity rather than doing the shadow work and healing the wound causing the pain.

    Secondly, manifestation works on vibration. If you’re in a low-vibrational state, naturally you’re going to attract more painful experiences which act as prompts for shadow work and healing.

    You don’t manifest painful experiences because the universe wants to kick you while you’re down. You manifest more painful experiences as a learning mechanism – To provide the insights and realizations to climb out of the hole you’re in.

    If we could just bail ourselves out of any difficult situation by manifesting a better situation, we wouldn’t grow as people.

    Steps to manifest joy when you’re feeling low

    experiencing joy with a pet

    Manifesting when you’re experiencing low-vibrational states such as fear or guilt doesn’t work, because the outer reality aims to meet the vibration of the inner reality. If your inner reality is dark, life is going to respond to that darkness.

    This is why it’s important to learn how to process and heal your pain, and then organically shift towards high-vibrational states.

    Once you reach these high-vibrational states of consciousness where you’re oozing with gratitude, love, and compassion, you will begin creating a heavenly existence – Flowing with opportunities, coincidences, and amazing experiences you can barely contain.

    So let’s look at some steps you can take to manifest when you’re feeling fear, doubt, or other dense energies.

    Do the shadow work

    People shift into dense states of consciousness to learn. If you refuse to learn the lessons, you stay in those dense states of consciousness. If you learn the lessons, you will naturally heal, evolve, and reach lighter states of consciousness.

    Therefore, when you’re feeling something heavy, you need to do the inner work. You simply won’t be able to manifest positive experiences into your life while your energy is dense.

    Start by:

    • Processing the experience you’re going through
    • Sitting with the pain in whichever form it has manifested
    • Learn the lessons and insights
    • Make the necessary behavioral and cognitive changes
    • Start feeling better and manifesting from there

    Of course, every situation is unique, but these are the general guidelines for healing.

    Raise your vibration

    If you want to start manifesting the things you actually want, there’s a very obvious solution.

    Raise your vibration, and the Universe will reciprocate.

    You see, the Universe doesn’t speak English, or Spanish, or Hebrew. It only recognizes one language which is vibration.

    Ask yourself, is your energy calibrated with abundance, or is it aligned with disappointment? Does it feel like you’re already living your dreams, or is there separation between these states of consciousness?

    Manifestation is a double-edged sword. It doesn’t give you what you want. It gives you more of what you already have. This can be a pretty relentless cycle but don’t blame the Universe. It’s just matching your vibration.

    Therefore, it’s crucial to let go of this fear. One of the best ways to do this is to express more gratitude, more often.

    Set intentions

    Desire is a powerful force.

    Intentions act as your internal compass pointing toward the reality you want. By holding your intentions close, you’re constantly making actions and decisions that move you in the right direction.

    Let me make it clear that expecting a particular result is not the way to go.

    Expecting something to unfold will have undesired consequences as the expectation isn’t a positive energetic frequency.

    Therefore, hold your intentions close, but don’t expect the reality you want to mysteriously appear out of thin air.

    Let go of the outcome

    A big reason why you’re trapped in painful states is because you’re holding onto the outcome.

    I know what it’s like, I’ve been there.

    You worry that if the result you’re looking for doesn’t come to fruition, your life is going to fall apart. But I can tell you from experience that this isn’t the case.

    To get over this fear you need to be at peace with the outcome, for better or worse. By doing so, you’re more likely to manifest better things in your life, because you’re no longer holding onto this stress.

    Get out of your mind and into your body

    Fear is a construct of the mind. You may have been told otherwise, but holding on to fear is a choice. In other words, you create your hell by worrying about what could happen.

    By fixating on the future, you turn the smallest matters into big ordeals.

    I used to worry a lot about things going wrong too. But now I see clearly because I live in the here and now. If I’m experiencing difficulties, I allow myself to really feel the experience. If I’m feeling great, I soak in those blissful feelings.

    You see, if you’re fully present, fear can’t take hold because it propagates through thought. Therefore, it’s important to ground yourself.

    Focus on how ample life is at this very moment. You’re safe, you’re comfortable, you have everything you need. You just need to remember to bring it back every time your mind drifts away.

    Trust in the Universe

    You need trust if you want to manifest high-vibrational experiences into your life. Trusting that all happens for a reason is powerful. It alleviates stress, worry, and fear of the unknown.

    Putting your faith in something bigger than you can help get rid of that deep-rooted fear. It’s necessary to transcend your fear to make manifestation work in your favor.

    Have trust that whatever happens is meant to happen. When you think of life through this lens, it’s much easier to look beyond the fear and be at peace.

    This acceptance will help you get out of the vibrational rut that you’re in, which in turn helps you manifest better things. With no fear, positive intentions, and desirable feelings, you might be surprised just how well things work out for you.

    Ultimately, realize that manifestation is not something you do. It’s a state of consciousness that naturally magnetizes the same frequencies into your life – In the form of thoughts, feelings, ideas opportunities, people, and experiences.

    The aim of the game is to feel clean, healthy, and happy, and the rest will follow suit. Don’t pull a muscle trying to manifest your way out of your situation, but trust that you’re here for a reason.

  • The 8 Keys to Live an Adventurous Life

    The 8 Keys to Live an Adventurous Life

    People say a lot of things about me, but I’m glad to say that boring isn’t one of them.

    I don’t make a lot of money, I don’t have some bigshot career or fancy house. But I have crafted a life for myself that is abundant in adventure because that’s what I value in life.

    I’m not the man you would come to if you’re seeking advice to climb the corporate ladder. But if you’re after a life as an adventurer, an explorer, or a nomad, maybe I’m worth hearing out.

    So let me tell you a little about how I crafted a life full of adventure for myself, and how you can do the same for yourself.

    Developing a thirst for adventure

    IMG 20211230 161717 616 e1675652353500

    When I was in my early twenties, I was on track to live a cozy life.

    Go to university, get a degree, then a job, and build from there. I had a path to follow, and it was simple. But the trajectory of my life was abruptly shattered after I went through a spiritual awakening.

    For the first time, my consciousness was opened to new dimensions of my life experience.

    The idea of working the 9-5 became repugnant as I developed a thirst for something more from life. Surely there’s more to this I thought. I just couldn’t see the joy in living a life that may be comfortable, but hollow. 

    That idea set me off on a very different life journey. So with the scaffolding of a plan, I set off to travel the world indefinitely.

    Jump forward seven years, I have now lived in eight countries, boasting a treasure chest of incredible memories. Amongst many odd jobs, I have worked alongside shamans, as a teacher, a coach, a tour guide, a bartender, and a writer. I have met so many amazing people, have had lives with others, and I’ve traveled into the deepest depths of my consciousness and beyond.

    If there’s one thing I’ve done well in life, it has lived it to its absolute fullest. And that’s something I’m very proud of. Not just because it has been an incredible experience, but because I’ve learned so much throughout this adventure in consciousness.

    It’s easy to tell you to try new things, but you’re not here for generic pointers. If it was that straightforward, you would be doing it already.

    Here we’re going to get to the roots of the matter, and you be the judge. I’m going to tell you everything I know about living an adventurous life because you’re only on this planet for the blink of an eye.

    I’m not necessarily going to tell you what to do. We’re all different. What I’m going to do is help you change the infrastructure of your mind, to perceive life in a way that facilitates adventure, spontaneity, and exciting new experiences.

    What makes life adventurous?

    Black sheep

    Everyone has a different idea of what having an adventurous life means, but I see it as the quality and quantity of diverse experiences that you have.

    I say this because some people might occasionally have incredible experiences, but they don’t happen often. For the most part, life is pretty much the same thing, and there’s not a whole lot of spice to it.

    Other people might have lots of smaller experiences such as going out, meeting new people, and doing different activities. But none of these experiences are necessarily life-changing.

    So even though they may have busy, eventful lives, nothing really stands out.

    To have the adventurous life you want, you need to be having different experiences regularly, and memorable experiences as much as you can.

    It’s okay to have some routine, but you don’t want the routine to turn into complacency. To live an adventurous life, you should always be on the lookout for exciting new experiences to mix things up, so that your life never feels stagnant.

    Before we move on, I need to address something important. People tend to think that an adventurous life just means getting out and doing lots of interesting things. But you’re missing a whole dimension of adventure if you approach it from this angle.

    Living an adventurous life is as much of an internal process as it is an external process. I’ve experienced more of a thrill in deep states of meditation than climbing active volcanos. My search to understand what’s underneath these layers of flesh and bone has been more of a mindfuck than living out of a backpack for the last 5 years.

    Some signs of an adventurous life involve:

    • You value life experience
    • You’re a YES person
    • You seek out new experiences
    • You get bored of routine
    • You’re always up for something new
    • Complacency is your enemy
    • You’re constantly pushing your boundaries
    • You like to get outside your comfort zone
    • You are your own teacher
    • You prefer to live in the moment
    • You don’t let things hold you back
    • You recognize when you’re making excuses
    • Do you look at everything through the eyes of a baby?

    There are 2 major components of living an adventurous life: Exploring your internal reality and exploring your external reality. These components are like the yin and yang of adventure, so don’t neglect either of them.

    The internal reality

    Being adventurous pertains to more than exploring your extrinsic reality. Although this is what usually comes to mind when people think of adventure, only looking for adventure in the world lacks substance if you’re not also going inward.

    You can go to amazing places and embark on fun adventures, but unless you’re exploring who you are, you’re cutting a whole dimension of experience out of the adventure of life. Because it’s so much more than the things you do that gives you a sense of adventure. It’s the exploration of your consciousness, and looking for a deeper meaning to your existence on this planet.

    I know you probably came here expecting some applicable tips, not an existential crisis, but going inward and exploring your internal reality is crucial to living a truly adventurous life.

     

    The external reality

    Of course, if you only approach the internal aspect, life can also feel a little dull. Regardless, life will be a wild adventure in consciousness as long as you explore who you are, but without supplementing that inner pursuit with real-world actions, it is much harder to reap the benefits.

    So explore your external reality too. Get out of your routines and do new things. Partake in new activities and challenge yourself. Travel. Experience as much as you can in this world, and your life is going to be much more colorful.

    But remember to balance this outward pursuit with the internal quest. Because together, that’s what creates an adventurous life, inside out.

    Reevaluate what’s important to you

    I wasn’t always an adventurous person. Throughout my journey of self-realization, I had to critically look at my life, and reevaluate what’s important to me.

    I concluded that having a life rich in experience is more important than having a life rich in possessions. I would rather live a life that I’m proud of, rather than one that other people are proud of. And because of these decisions, I certainly had to make some sacrifices.

    It’s important to acknowledge that your values set the coursework for your life. If you value things like wealth and stability, you’re going to sacrifice things like adventure and spontaneity.

    Imagine you’re a character in a game, and you have a certain amount of points to allot to certain areas of your life. If you use up all your energy points on wealth generation, it comes at the sacrifice of exploration, adventure, and diverse experiences.

    In the perfect world, we would have it all. But we only have so much time and energy to give, so you need to be a little selective about what you spend it on. I’ve spent many years traveling the world and indulging in life, but it has come at the sacrifice of having a stable, comfortable life. If I decided to pursue a career in Landscape Architecture (what I studied at University), I could have a cushy life by now. But I decided to travel instead.

    So here’s a perspective I want you to look at.

    Life experience is more valuable than book smarts. You can theoretically learn about everything, but unless you experience those concepts in real life, it doesn’t mean a whole lot.

    With that said, I see an adventurous life as study. So by having this lifestyle, I’m gaining so much more knowledge and wisdom about life, than if I were to spend my life experience on a single career.

    Now I consider myself fairly weathered. I’ve had a few experiences in this world, and my entire reality has changed form.

    Especially if you’re on a personal growth journey, living an adventurous life is synonymous with it. So do it for you. Not just to make your life fun, but as an investment for growth, knowledge, and wisdom.

    Stop conforming to the majority

    Let’s face it. The majority is boring. That’s because most people value stability, comfort, and social status over having rich experiences.

    Therefore, the baseline is to shoot for a life that’s rooted in these particular values. That’s society for you. If you’re trying to fit in, aiming for a good respectable career, buying a nice house, and setting up your future is the way to go. You’re not going to be an outlier in this sense.

    But if you don’t fit into this large box, you need to resist the urge to follow what’s considered normal.

    This means you will need to reject what society tells you is a good life. You may need to reject your parent’s desires for you. You’re probably going to feel like a black sheep, and that’s okay.

    What matters is that you stick to your values, and don’t be swayed by what other people expect of you.

    Characteristics of an adventurous spirit

    Adventurous life

    Develop the opportunity mindset

    Your ability to see new opportunities in whatever form they’re presented is a game changer when it comes to living an adventurous life. After all, opportunities are gateways to new experiences. When you pay attention to all of these windows that appear in your life, then you’ll always have a path to take.

    If you shut down every opportunity that shows up in your life, you’re life is probably not going to change a great deal. This is why it’s important to develop a mindset where you perceive all the myriad opportunities in your life, at every moment. Therefore, there will always be an abundance of potential adventures to embark on.

    Be curious

    Curiosity is the root of an adventurous spirit. If you’re not curious to explore your reality, it’s very easy to be complacent with the life you have.

    To develop curiosity, you need to constantly question your life, and seek answers to those questions. Look at it in a way where the more answers you discover, the happier you can potentially become. Each piece of knowledge is like adding another piece to the puzzle of life.

    Ask yourself if you could be happier. What are some things you could try to become happier? Could you have more fun in life? Do you think there’s anything out there that you’re missing out on? What is it, and how can you experience it?

    By constantly asking questions, you’re going to create more clarity on what you need to do moving forward. By cultivating curiosity, you begin seeking out new experiences because you’re eager to know what’s waiting out there for you.

    Keep an open mind

    Any adventurous soul needs an open mind. It’s a prerequisite. If you don’t have an open mind, you’re going to bar out different experiences and opportunities because you’re not willing to try them.

    You don’t know what’s outside the box if you’ve lived your life in it. This is a problem, and if you want to have an adventurous life you need to start trying things before forming an opinion about them. You need to hear all perspectives and opinions before jumping to conclusions.

    Some things might not initially appeal to you, but when you consider all the possibilities, it makes the world a much more exciting place to live in.

    Don’t be afraid of things going wrong

    Let me tell you, the best experiences happen when things go wrong. I have had many situations where things went wrong including:

    • Being robbed three times, once was violent
    • Being thrown in jail in Mexico
    • Being attacked by a pack of stray dogs
    • Motorbike breaking down in the middle of nowhere (many times) when riding through Vietnam
    • Being swept out to sea
    • Being homeless in the US

    Okay, so maybe some of these things could potentially be a little dangerous. Don’t put yourself in danger, but acknowledge that sometimes you can’t avoid it. Sometimes, danger will find you, and that’s often when you’ll have the most exhilarating experiences, no matter how terrifying they were at the time.

    But don’t be avoidant because there is always potential for something to go wrong. As long as you see things going wrong as a deterrent, you’re going to avoid a lot of great experiences in life.

    Part of having an adventure is to acknowledge it, take precautions, and do it anyway. After all, it’s usually the experiences that went wrong that are the most memorable.

    Be spontaneous

    Spontaneity is a key for anyone who’s seeking a more adventurous life. In other words, go with the flow, because good adventures can’t be predicted, they just happen.

    There’s a saying that the best adventures in life are the ones that weren’t expected. I believe this is very true because the experiences that I remember the most are not when everything went to plan. They’re when things didn’t go to plan at all, and I had to improvise.

    Sometimes opportunities will come into your life on a whim, and if you don’t jump on it, it’s going to be gone forever. You won’t always be prepared, or expect situations to unfold as they do. But you need to always be ready to embrace the unexpected, knowing that life runs on its timeline, not yours.

    I’m not saying it’s bad to plan, but overplanning can take the adventure away. So prepare, but accept that things might not turn out as you planned. Learn to welcome the unexpected, knowing that it’s usually unexpected situations that lead to the best adventures in life.

    Expose yourself to new things

    Don’t welcome painful experiences, but recognize that they’re experiences nonetheless. I see an adventurous life as constantly having new experiences, of course, the more you expose yourself to new things, the more adventurous your life becomes.

    With that said, don’t be afraid to try new things. Even if you feel like you might not like those things, it’s good to make a habit of giving them a go, even if it’s just once. Worst case scenario, it was a waste of time. In the best-case scenario, you’ve added another exciting experience to your belt.

    Live for the experience. As long as you want to have more experiences, naturally, you’re going to expose yourself to more people, places, and situations, and have a more lively life.

    Take calculated risks

    One thing you need to acknowledge is that fear is always going to be there when you’re doing something new. It’s natural to have some fear. But when you decide not to give something a try due to that fear, you’re the ultimate loser here.

    Living an adventurous life becomes an act of managing your fear and knowing when it’s serving you, and when it’s deceiving you. Of course, don’t be stupid, but don’t be avoidant of difficult situations either, because they’re what make the entire adventure.

    With that said, you need to challenge yourself. The best adventures usually involve some sort of risk, and unless you’re willing to put something on the line, it’s all too easy to back out. 

    Seek change

    Change is a constant in life. You might be comfy in your life situation and be a little hesitant to change it up out of fear of sabotaging what you have. But this pursuit will only lead to a dead end because change is inevitable.

    By acknowledging that life change is inevitable, you might change your perspective a little. Therefore, allow yourself to change things up. Whether it comes to your line of work, the people you associate with, or the things you do, life will change sooner or later anyway, so get it before it gets you.

    Make every day a new advanture

    Two men who are comfortable in their own skin

    So we’ve gone through the more significant changes you need to make to have a more adventurous life. We’ve explored the infrastructure and the keys, now it’s time to look at the day-to-day changes that you can apply to your life.

    Here are some things you can do to make each day a new adventure.

    Start learning a new hobby

    What is your typical daily routine? I bet you work, relax, spend time with family, maybe work on an avocation or partake in a hobby a little, then go to bed. But what if there were things you could do daily that make you feel much better than you do right now?

    There’s a whole goldmine out there of things that you might enjoy, but simply don’t know because you haven’t tried them. Have you tried giving music a go? Writing? Making videos? Taking courses? Building something? Gardening? Reading? Walking in a park? Exercising? I bet there are many things you could do right this moment, but you’re just going to mindlessly scroll on Instagram instead.

    Think about different hobbies that you want to give a shot, and commit to them. Look for new ways to change up your daily routine that ignites a spark, and just put in the effort.

    Explore your surroundings

    In most cases, you don’t need to travel far to find some hidden gems. There are amazing spots in every city I’ve lived in, and the best ones aren’t on a map.

    So you need to go out and explore a little. Explore different spots in nature and just see what’s around. Check out different neighborhoods, stores, plazas, parks, or whatever appeals to you. I can guarantee you that there are plenty of places worth checking out that aren’t listed in an article or tourism video. And they’re the places you want to find.

    I love to get out and explore nature. What I do is look at Google Maps or Google Earth for green spots within distance, drive there, and see what’s around. Sometimes it’s a miss, but more often than not, I’m pleasantly surprised.

    Whether it’s a park I’ve never heard about, a reserve, some woods, a small lake, or an opening, it’s always worth checking out and just getting to know your home area a bit better. If you do this often, likely you’ll find some hidden gems that become your go-to spots. But you won’t know unless you explore your surroundings.

    Cook a new dish

    If you’re like most people, you probably have a few dishes that you cycle through. Sometimes you might try cooking something new, but it doesn’t happen often. Perhaps you barely cook at all or don’t know how to.

    I suggest that you regularly change it up and try cooking new meals. If you’re not much of a cook, then learn the basics and start practicing. You can easily type some meals into Google and get some quick results. Try throwing the ingredients you have into chat GTP and see what it comes up with.

    Eating is a pretty big part of our lives, yet so many of us make the act of it so tasteless. So try cooking new meals, and that is one sure way to change up your daily routine.

    Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while

    Try reaching out to a friend that you haven’t spoken to in a while, and see how they’re doing. It’s easy to get caught up in our lives, that we tend to lose touch with all the people who have been a part of our lives.

    The one upside of social media is that it’s easy to stay connected, and it’s not awkward to reignite a connection. Comment on one of their stories, or simply message them asking them how they’re doing. I do it all the time, and I always enjoy hitting up people that I met along my journey randomly, and seeing what’s happening. And they’re always pleasantly surprised that I do.

    When life is starting to feel a little too regular for me, I reach out to a few people. Usually, they respond pretty quickly, and we exchange some messages to catch up. This is also a great way for me to stay in contact with people, and see what they’re up to these days.

    Network within your local community

    People are gateways to new opportunities, and they’re a surefire way to spice up your life a little. By making more of an effort to meet people (and maintain connections) in your day-to-day life, you never know where some of these connections are going to take you.

    Many of us feel that we don’t have the energy to go out of our way to meet people. But you’re always coming into contact with people. Networking is about seeing each person as a potential friend, and just being genuinely curious about what’s happening in their life. Whether it’s a work associate, a shop clerk, or a stranger, engage the people you bump into, especially the ones you see regularly.

    As long as you engage people, doors will start flying open. Of course, most conversations won’t lead anywhere, but by engaging people more on a day-to-day basis, you’re opening up your doorways.

    Go to events

    If you live in a city, I’m sure there are plenty of interesting things you could be going to, regardless of what your interests are.

    Especially if you’re in (or near) a big city, there are always talks, networking events, meetups, language exchanges, and different things you could be doing. But I’m guessing you never really go to these things, and I know why.

    For the most part, it’s not about money. There are plenty of free options out there. It’s not about availability, because even if you’re not in a city, there are a million things you can partake in online. It’s because you’re nervous, and I understand that.

    It can be daunting going to unfamiliar events by yourself. You don’t know if you’ll just be an awkward mess, and usually, that thought is enough of a deterrent to banish the idea completely.

    But what if you tried? You put yourself out there. You risked enduring a boring event that was a waste of time (and potentially money). Think about what you could potentially gain. Who you could potentially meet? What experiences you could potentially have?

    So try out different events, whether they’re in person or online. Check out what’s available by searching Google and social media, and see what pops up. I highly recommend giving some things a go, and just seeing what you think of them.

  • How To Overcome The Poverty Mindset

    Have you ever thought that the scarcity you experience in life, whether it’s physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual, actually stems from the mind? We are only as rich as our minds allow us to be. If you’re trying to attract abundance into your life, but you have a poor mind, it’s never going to happen.

    This is why we need to address the poverty mindset.

    The poverty mindset is a harmful perception of life that paints the world in a frame where there’s never enough to go around. It’s a view of scarcity and a belief that we must struggle to have our fair share.

    The poverty mindset perpetuates feelings of need and further brings you away from being content with what you have. It’s a low vibrational energy that attracts more of the same (struggle) and repels abundance.

    What’s worse is that while you harbor a poverty mindset, chances are you’re not going to make anything of your life. You bow out of the race before it has even begun, and wonder why you’ve gotten nowhere.

    Here we’re going to dissect this degrading mentality so that you can better understand it, get rid of it, and build up better mindsets that lead you to abundance.

    Poverty mindset diagram representing the downward spiral to scarcity

    A poverty mindset is often formed during youth from the belief that money is scarce, regardless of how much you have. Maybe you never got what you wanted as a kid, or perhaps you were regularly told how expensive everything is, or that money doesn’t grow on trees.

    So you grow up drilling in the belief that money is disproportionately precious, a finite resource, and this warps your perception of abundance. As you get older, you unconsciously reinforce this belief until you get caught in a self-perpetuating cycle where you never have enough to be happy.

    This creates a low vibrational energy, which manifests low vibrational experience. But we’re only looking at the material aspect. Abundance is more than your material condition, it’s a high vibrational state of consciousness expressed through your beliefs, attitudes, and feelings.

    The years I spent living in Vietnam were a real eye-opener. Especially when riding through the Northern Mountains and passing through tiny villages, I met a lot of people who had so little, but their cups were so full.

    Many of the residents lived in small adobe huts or run-down concrete shelters. Mostly, they were farmers who didn’t have a whole lot to show for their lives, at least not from a materialistic perspective.

    What struck me was their friendliness. The villager’s kindness and generosity were unmatched. While passing through, many would invite me into their homes, share food with me, offer a place to sleep, and give me all the happy water I could handle.

    They laughed, sang, and just seemed genuinely happy about the little things in life, such as seeing a foreigner well out of his natural habitat.

    These people are not poor. They are some of the richest people I’ve ever met. They are abundant, perhaps not materially, but emotionally.

    This shifted something in me. I’ve spent most of my life feeling inadequate. I’ve always been on a goose chase, chasing things because I believed that wealth was the key to abundance and that abundance was the path to happiness.

    Since then, I’ve questioned my perspective on abundance which has made some pretty dramatic shifts in my life.

    What is the poverty mindset?

    Poverty mindset

    The poverty mindset is a limiting belief system where you feel like you’re lacking, despite how much you have. It’s a frame of scarcity: The idea that there is a finite amount of resources that you can have and that you’re fundamentally separated from them.

    People who see through a lens of poverty tend to experience life in a way where their success comes at someone else’s failure. And that your failure is due to someone else’s success. It’s the classic ‘there’s not enough pie for all’ scenario.

    Just to be clear, having a poverty mindset doesn’t necessarily relate to your financial position. It’s a perception of life where there isn’t enough to go around. When you break this limiting belief system, your life becomes more fruitful. This is when you feel more wholesome, and it also sets a better mental infrastructure to attract more material abundance into your life.

    Seeing life in a frame of scarcity is a limitation as you see all the red flags but none of the green. It’s a pessimistic way of thinking that manifests a negative life experience through emotions such as jealousy, guilt, worry, stress, shame, hopelessness, self-victimization, and self-pity.

    When in this state, you’re likely to miss opportunities or to push them away, either consciously or unconsciously. Instead of seeing the world as your oyster, you can never get ahead because you hold yourself back.

    This causes stagnation and acts as a major barrier to growing into your best self and manifesting your dreams. Not to mention, the poverty mindset is just a generally disempowering state of mind that pushes away abundance.

    Characteristics of a poverty mindset

    lens of poverty and misfortune

    Now that you have a conceptual framework of what the poverty mindset is, how do you know if you have it? What are some symptoms of the poverty mindset, and how will this inadvertently affect your life?

    Here are some common traits and characteristics of people who have a poverty mindset.

    1. You compare yourself to others

    Rather than focusing on your own journey, you tend to notice what other people have which makes you feel like you’re lacking because you don’t have those things.

    2. You have a fear complex

    You tend to worry about what could happen, and you concern yourself too much with hypotheticals rather than actual outcomes.

    3. You focus on what you need

    Instead of focusing on what you have and how fulfilled you are to have those things, you’re always looking at what you don’t currently have, which creates a constant sense of desperation.

    4. You are strife with jealousy

    Instead of celebrating other people’s success, you get jealous or even resentful when people achieve something that you don’t have.

    5. You make up stories about your failures

    You tend to create stories about why you’re disadvantaged or why you can’t succeed in life. For other people who become successful, there will always be an outstanding reason why they’re successful.

    6. You are worried about your achievements

    Your hyper-focus on achieving things takes you away from what you already have. This leads to competition and the mentality that there is not enough to go around.

    7. You are a victim

    You believe that you’re a victim of the world. Life is unfair, and you’ve just gotten the bottom half of it. Since you’re a victim, you dedicate yourself to being a bystander in your life.

    8. You tend to overvalue material things

    You likely believe that having things is the epitome of success. So you place a lot more value on external things rather than intrinsic qualities such as gratitude and family.

    9. You focus on the risk

    You have an aversion towards taking action because you always think about the risk, and what could happen if things don’t work out.

    10. You tend to chase pleasure

    Rather than focusing on more wholesome, substantial states of consciousness, you’re concerned with momentary pleasures by getting the next shiny thing.

    11. You think wealth will solve your problems

    Part of a poverty mindset is believing that wealth is the key to all the good things in life. If you have more wealth, you’re successful.

    12. You believe that resources are scarce

    You believe that everything is finite, and that other people gaining something takes away from you, or your opportunities. This drives you to be more careful, and potentially competitive because you feel that you need to fight for equality.

    What is an example of the poverty mindset?

    First off, you need to change the way you see things if you actually want to experience abundance. As long as you’re caught in a frame of scarcity, you’re not going to attract abundance into your life.

    Below are some examples of perceiving a situation through a frame of abundance vs a frame of scarcity. Use this table to reflect on your own life experience, and look at where you need to make some adjustments.

    Situation Abundance mindset Poverty mindset
    You broke up with your partner You know that more amazing people will come into your life which opens up exciting new opportunities to find someone who you more deeply align with. You desperately hold onto something that has moved on, believing that you’ll never find anyone else like the person you were with.
    You were let go from your job You gained valuable experience which will help you find an even better job in the future. While you may be upset, you are looking forward to the new opportunities that this opens up in your life. You start worrying about not having a job, or not being worthy of a job. This leads to anxiety and stress as the future looks uncertain.
    You got some valuable information You want to share it with others and get their perspectives. If it helps them succeed, vicariously, you feel good. You want to keep it to yourself and avoid sharing it with other people. You had to find out yourself, why can’t they?
    Analysis of your living condition The location is very central and in a great part of town. The house is cozy. You have everything you need to live a comfortable life. The house is too small, old and noisy. You’re not in your ideal home by a long shot, and you won’t be fulfilled until you get it.
    Working on an avocation You have a vision of what you can achieve if you put in the work. You realize that there is no reason why you can’t succeed, so you continuously work towards your dreams You believe there is way too much competition, and that only people who are extremely talented can make it. As a result you’re likely to give up, or never take it seriously in the first place.
         

    How to break free from the poverty mindset

    Money is an advantage, it’s not a game changer.

    If you have a lot of disposable income, you can live a nice cushy life, but that’s not going to make you any happier. It’s important to value things that truly matter for your growth, well-being, and wholeness.

    Never forget that happiness is an internal condition. If you’re trying to buy happiness, you’re barking up the wrong tree. So please, do the inner work. Go inside, not outside, and you’re going to make your life a much better place to live.

    Life isn’t a get-rich-quick scheme. You need to work for it. And it’s the work that you put into your life that makes it worth it.

    So instead of chasing money, focus on the process that is used to make money. As an example, if you’re a content creator or aspiring to be one, actually enjoy making content rather than trying to become successful through it.

    This applies to anything you do. Do it because you genuinely care about it. If you fill your cup with more things in life that nourish you, it’s going to benefit you in more ways than one.

    Sometimes you have to stretch yourself a little as abundance is a bit of an oxymoron. You get more by giving more.

    Chances are, you rarely give. If you see a homeless person, do you give them a bit of cash, or tell yourself that you can’t afford it, even if it’s just a dollar? Do you give your time and energy without expecting a reward? What about donating to causes that you care about?

    Here’s the thing. You need to give to get. You need to break the cycle of poverty by taking the first step. Remember, the universe matches your vibration, not the other way around. So if you adopt the feeling of generosity and giving, you’re going to receive more in the form of positive emotions, feelings, outlooks, opportunities, people, and things.

    Ultimately, you need to work on the poverty mindset in small doses regularly, because whatever you enforce into your reality becomes your reality.

  • The Four Bodies: A Holistic Approach to Wellness And Healing

    The Four Bodies: A Holistic Approach to Wellness And Healing

    What if our society generally bas a backward idea of wellness, which is why many people have many problems? When did being healthy become such a task? One that has become more vague than ever. Have you ever wondered if there’s a better approach to health and wellbeing, one that makes sense?

    Well, there is, and what you’re going to learn in this article will change the way you look at wellness in general.

    Because we don’t just have a single body, we have four of them. Even though they’re all interconnected under the human umbrella, they serve as separate functioning dimensions of your life experience.

    The four-bodies approach refers to the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of your being. This is a more holistic view of well-being which suggests that you are an ecosystem that thrives when you’re balanced across all dimensions of experience.

    Each body serves a different purpose and is responsible for a different dimension of your life experience. To live your best life, you need to find balance with your four bodies.

    Let’s look more into each of these bodies, and how you can find equilibrium among them.

    The holistic approach to wellness

    Western healthcare has always been a solution-oriented approach.

    You have a symptom, you treat it. For the most part, this fix-it approach has gotten the job done, but there is clearly more to wellness than what meets the eye.

    The truth is that we’re only looking at a fraction of wellness, and trying to slot the whole thing within a specific category. But this isn’t how you become healthy. To get a full grasp on wellness as a whole, you need to understand how different parts of you all factor in to create a whole.

    Look at wellness as a balanced ecosystem. Nothing that happens to you is an isolated occurrence. Each body is thoroughly interconnected with the others, and they all influence one another to some degree.

    Just trying to fix a single body doesn’t cut it anymore. If you just look at your emotional issues but neglect the spiritual side, these issues will just keep coming back up. If you only try to fix your exterior (being your life situation), let’s just say there’s a reason why the exterior isn’t looking so shiny.

    As with the approach of personal ecosystems, the four-bodies approach is a holistic way to look at wellness as a whole. Because you’re not just your body, your mind, or your emotions. You’re a conglomerate of different territories which all have their own identities.

    Physical body: The realm of form

    • The physical self
    • Your physical health
    • External reality
    The physical body
    The physical body

    Your physical body represents the external dimension of your life experience. This refers to your body itself, your physiology, your physical health, and your sensory relationship with the world around you.

    Look at your physical body as a vessel for consciousness, it’s like the container of your life experience. It’s through this vessel that you interact with your surroundings, and in turn, these interactions influence your experiences. Your commute will be very different if you’re driving a beautiful, polished Lamborghini compared to an old decrepit lemon. 

    Whether it’s your physique, or your muscle, skeletal, blood, or organ health, your physical body is a reflection of your other bodies. Our society emphasizes physical health via exercise, eating healthy, and self-care, but tends to overprioritize your physical health concerning the other bodies. Regardless, it’s important to have a healthy body and relationship with the physical world to be a fully functional, and thriving person.

    Arguably, your physical health is the easiest to take care of, as there’s a direct cause-and-effect relationship. Signs of poor physical health are generally visible, and you can feel a tangible difference from a body in decay, to a body in optimal health.

    Polarity: Yang (Masculine)

    The physical body is considered a masculine constituent of your wellness. This is because it’s systemic, where there is a clear cause and effect relationship. Your body operates in a way that is calculated, logical, and routine, and this is the best way to take care of it.

    Element: Earth (Grounding)

    The physical body is associated with the Earth element due to it’s physical nature. As the physical body must be grounded within reality to flourish (that is to give it the correct nutrients and expose it to the right conditions for it to thrive), there is an innate connection with mother Earth which provides for it, and what it’s energetically connected to. Keeping your intake as pure as possible and direct from the source is a good approach to manage your physical body.

    Poor health of the physical body

    Your physical body being in a poor state is like the vehicle of your consciousness breaking down. There will be physical issues that prevent you from being at full vitality and capability. When there’s an issue with your physical body, it will manifest as a malfunction in some form. This is most commonly seen as illness, disease, or abnormalities.

    Here are some signs of your physical body being in poor health:

    • General lethargy and lack of vitality
    • Discomfort or pain in your body
    • Skin conditions, rashes, and abnormalities
    • High susceptibility to illness and disease
    • Rapid ageing and signs of wear
    • Dysfunctions with organs
    • Deterioration of brain health
    • Obesity or malnourishment
    • You become more prone to injuries
    • Your recovery process becomes less effective
    • Low stamina
    • Weakness and a brittle body

    Optimal health of the physical body

    When your physical body is at its optimal health, you feel robust. All parts of your body are functioning as they should. You feel clean, healthy, and energized. Your vehicle is thriving because you’re giving it the treatment it needs.

    Here are some signs of your physical body being in good health.

    • High vitality and energy levels
    • Physical strength and stamina
    • You’re free from bodily pain or dysfunctions
    • You are healthy and free from illness
    • Everything is functioning at high performance
    • Good organ health
    • You are fit and capable
    • Your bone health is good
    • High stamina
    • Strong sexual health and function
    • You have a quick recovery to injuries and sickness

    Restoring the Physical body to optimal health

    To restore your physical body to optimal health (and to maintain it), you need to incorporate practices into your daily routine that enhance your physical health. Having a healthy physical body is an endurance game. You can’t expect to be operating at your best when you have a lifestyle that doesn’t accommodate it.

    This means that you need to adjust your lifestyle in a way that nourishes your physical health. First and foremost, you need to practice self-care by getting exercise, eating healthy, and taking care of your body. If you’re treating your body poorly by sleeping little, getting no exercise, and eating lots of junk, of course, your body is going to reflect the treatment you’re giving it. If you drink a lot of alcohol or smoke, this going to be harmful to it too.

    Therefore, try to reduce how much junk food, sugar, and anything that you consume which is harmful to your body. Make sure it has all the vitamins and minerals it needs. Get plenty of sun and fresh air, and give your body some love and care like a massage now and then. Groom it, stop biting your nails, take care of your hair. Your body will respond to the love it is given, so if you give it a lot of love by nourishing it, it will reward you with vitality and performance.

    After all, balance is key. You don’t need to be extremely strict like some people are, but you do need to actively take care of your physical body and incorporate those practices into your daily routine.

    The Mental Body: The realm of mind

    • The mind
    • Mental health
    • The internal reality
    The mental body
    The mental body

    The mental body refers to the realm of the mind. This body involves intellectual properties of yourself including your thoughts, belief systems, and perceptions of oneself and reality.

    Look at the mental body as the toolset required to navigate reality. This is how you organize yourself, plan, and of course, survive. Your mental body has a big influence over your well-being as the way you think leads to your actions, attitudes, and decisions.

    Your belief systems create the foundation for how you choose to live your life. Your knowledge and intelligence determine how you go about certain things in life, how you process information, and what the results of those processes are.

    Being in the realm of mind, your mental body also encompasses things like your identity, personality, traits, and characteristics. It’s all the little pieces that make you who you currently are, and all those little pieces are malleable.

    The mental body is also responsible for how you interpret situations, and how you view yourself too. If you have a poor image of yourself where you battle with limiting belief systems such as self-doubt, or you foster ways of looking at life that don’t serve your happiness, this advertently affects your well-being and sense of happiness.

    Polarity: Yang (Masculine)

    The mental body is masculine in nature. As your mind is responsible for navigating yourself within reality, thinking, planning, acting, behaving and doing, it’s a driving part of yourself which has an outward energy: to structure. This is due to the analytical, structured, logical, and rational nature of the mind, which is very well attuned to masculine energy.

    Element: Fire (Drive)

    The mental body corresponds with the element of fire. As fire represents movement, drive and power, the mental body is responsible for driving your life and creating it into something useful. It’s the sense of reason and doing. It’s the part of you that organizes your life, and lays the road that your body drives on.

    Poor health of the mental body

    When the mental body is in poor health, it creates problems with your mental domain. On the more mild side, this can create issues such as mental cloudiness, poor judgment, inefficient thinking, and limiting belief systems.

    These problems affect your well-being by causing a lack of efficiency, clarity, or organization in your life.

    On the more severe side, a dysfunctional mental body can lead to problems such as personality disorders and mental illness. People who have severe issues with their mental bodies may develop behavioral patterns such as narcissism, OCD, or paranoia. You may be egocentric and have a warped sense of self, or a distorted position of authority, importance, or power.

    As your mental body also affects your social life, a poor mental body can lead to excessive shyness and insecurity caused by beliefs of unworthiness.

    Here are some signs of your mental body in poor health:

    • Clouded mind and inability to think straight
    • Incessant thinking and overwhelm
    • Excessive stress, worry, or anxiety
    • Identity disorders such as bulimia
    • Insecurities and issues with oneself
    • Personality disorders and neurosis
    • You have harmful or limiting belief systems
    • You have undesirable personality traits and characteristics
    • Mental illness in its various forms
    • Poor work ethic, or inefficiency with work
    • Forgetfulness and short memory span

    Optimal health of the mental body

    A healthy mental body means that your thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions serve you, and help you achieve your full potential in life. Having a healthy mental body is a big step in wellness, as your beliefs form the reality that you are living.

    When it’s functioning at its best, the mental body facilitates the ability to solve problems efficiently. It provides reason and allows you to act from a place of composure and understanding without bias or discrimination. It also facilitates effective communication, concise thinking, and the ability to comprehend a broader scope of information and ideas.

    Having a healthy mental body also means that you generally have a good relationship with people. You don’t foster the limiting belief systems that cause insecurities, but rather healthy belief systems that promote confidence, charisma, positive traits and characteristics that help you navigate the world of people.

    Here are some signs of your mental body in optimal health:

    • You feel focused and clear headed
    • You are proactive at problem solving
    • Strong comprehension and understanding of ideas
    • You’re efficient at planning and organizing
    • Desirable personality traits such as assertion
    • Confidence and self esteem
    • Your perceptions of oneself and reality serve your growth
    • Effective and healthy communication
    • Strong work ethic and efficiency working
    • You’re rational about what needs to be done
    • Good short term and long term memory

    Restoring the mental body to optimal health

    To restore your mental body to optimal health, you need to work on your mindsets and belief systems. Luckily, everything that forms the way you think and behave is malleable as it’s a property of the mind, meaning that with some work, you can completely change how you identify with the world, and create mental systems that drive your growth and potential.

    Restoring your mental body starts by reinforcing better ways of looking at yourself and your reality. You want to cultivate thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions that benefit you and other people. Start by identifying the different mental systems that aren’t serving your happiness, and identify better systems and beliefs that do. Continuously reinforce those beliefs and make a conscious effort to change the way you think.

    Stretch your mind by pushing yourself to think in different ways. Have interesting conversations with people, and observe different behavioral traits people have that are helpful. Utilize the full capabilities of your mind by learning, studying, and researching. Most importantly, strive to create change in your life by creating a stronger foundation to plan, organize, think, and perceive.

    You also need to identify the negative reoccurring patterns in your life and make a conscious effort to prevent yourself from slipping into them. For example, if you identify a pattern where you shy away from intimacy, or perhaps get triggered in certain situations, be aware of it and take healthier steps to work on those perceptions.

    The Emotional Body: The realm of feeling

    • Your emotions
    • Emotional health
    • Feeling
    The emotional body
    The Emotional Body

    The emotional body refers to the realm of emotion. When it comes to your emotional body, your state of wellness is identified by how you feel.

    If you carry a lot of emotional pain in the form of trauma, resentment, guilt, and anger, you feel terrible. When you feel terrible, it impacts your equanimity, sense of contentment, enthusiasm, motivation, and morale.

    Look at your emotional body as your internal compass. It tells you what feels good and what feels bad. When you follow this compass, it leads you in a direction that facilitates healing, growth, and happiness. If you ignore this compass, it leads you astray, where you’ll battle emotional pain, emotional baggage, and undesirable feelings.

    How you react to, and feel about different situations in your life is also tied to the emotional body. Whether you feel like life is generally unfair, or whether you have a lot of regret about things that happened in your past are signs that your emotional body is out of balance.

    Experiencing emotional pain is a part of life. This is how we learn and grow as people. If a friend turns their back on you, you’re going to feel betrayed. But if you’re swimming in it where you constantly feel like crap, then there is something that needs to be healed within your emotional body.

    Polarity: Yin (Feminine)

    The emotional body is feminine in nature as it is deeply connected with feminine values and characteristics. feeling, intuition, and connection with self are all elements of the divine feminine. This means that the emotional body is at its best when you navigate it with feminine principals such as empathy, nonresistance, and feeling.

    Element: Water (Flow)

    The emotional body is represented by the water element. As water is about flow, creativity and expression, emotions are synonymous. Your emotional body is functioning at its best when it flows without resistance, that is to experience all the emotions and sensations without creating a forcing current, or preventing the expression of self.

    Emotional body in poor health

    When the emotional body is in poor health, it translates to a lack of joy in your life. It means that you are not healed, and this has a huge impact on your well-being, and ability to live your best life.

    You’re likely to experience reoccurring painful emotions in the form of resentment, guilt, shame, hatred, and so forth. These stagnant emotions are often the residue of old traumas that have not successfully been healed. This emotional pain can lead to self-destructive behavior, self-harm, and self-sabotage because you have a mound of trauma getting in the way of your sense of inner peace.

    When your emotional body is unhealthy, you may find that you have lots of triggers. You may lash out at people or find that you have disproportionate reactions to certain situations. Certain things may cause you to feel painful emotions, and those painful emotions tend to linger around for a long time. You likely also have poor ways of managing your emotions which lead to projection, blame, and escapism.

    If your emotional body is unhealthy, you may have a disintegrated sense of self. That means you’re wearing a mask and you’re not authentic to who you are (or what you’re feeling). You also struggle to express yourself freely.

    Here are some signs that your emotional body is in poor health:

    • Unresolved trauma and deep rooted emotional issues
    • A lack of emotional intelligence
    • Lack of empathy and understanding
    • Inability to feel love and gratitude
    • Emotional blockages such as the inability to get into your heart space
    • Emotional instability and dramatic mood swings
    • Emotional pain in the form of reoccurring resentment, anger, guilt etc.
    • Depression and feelings of hopelessness
    • Inability to fully express yourself
    • You express yourself in an unhealthy way
    • You have ineffective coping mechanisms

    Emotional body in optimal health

    If your emotional body is in optimal health, you feel good internally. This means that your expression of self is joyful, where you mostly feel positive emotions such as gratitude, compassion, and hope. You have good emotional intelligence and know how to manage your emotional body for clarity, healing, and learning.

    Being emotionally healthy means that you are generally healed. You don’t carry around pain from the past, and you embrace tomorrow with a clean slate. Having a healthy emotional body means that your emotions are in balance and that you’re centered within yourself. Situations may cause you to feel pain, but you will quickly heal from that pain.

    By having a healthy emotional body you are centered within your heart space. This means that you listen to your heart and the energies that come from the heart. You tap into the higher self instead of wasting your time away with the egoic self.

    Here are some signs that your emotional body is healthy:

    • You have emotional intelligence
    • You are generally healed
    • Feeling at peace and calmness
    • You express yourself fully
    • Emotional stability
    • Honesty and transparency
    • You are transparent and honest
    • You are in alignment with your heart space
    • Inner equanimity

    How to restore the emotional body

    Restoring your emotional body simmers down to healing. This means that you need to work on clearing trauma and any feelings that no longer serve you. The best way to heal your emotional body is by listening to it. Sit with your emotions and feel into them rather than pushing them away or deferring them. Make a habit of being in alignment with your emotions, and your emotional body will recover.

    Work on your emotional intelligence and make sure that you listen to your body’s signals. Do the inner work by constantly working on yourself to become a better, happier, and healthier person. Learn how to embody behaviors and attitudes that make you feel better about yourself, and facilitate a happier life experience.

    Shadow work is an important component of emotional health and balance. This is the process of integrating the abandoned parts of yourself which is required for proper integration and healing.

    Spiritual body: The realm of consciousness

    • The soul
    • The astral realm
    • The spiritual dimension
    6578bc38 835d 48d0 9065 aebce06987fc
    The spiritual body

    The spiritual body refers to the realm of the spirit. This body is often interpreted as the soul or spirit, and it’s the energetic body that connects you with higher planes of existence.

    Your spiritual body can be seen as the driver of your vehicle. This is your consciousness, not the body, not the mind, and not your emotions. It’s the spiritual constituent of your being that is connected to the deepest levels of reality. In essence, your spiritual body is the true you beyond all the layers of self that exist within this realm of experience.

    Your spiritual body is your sense of meaning in this world. You can create, to manifest, your drive, and a deeper meaning in your life that exceeds the physical body, the mental body, or the emotional body. The spiritual body is your anchor to something deeper inside yourself that connects you to all consciousness.

    In today’s world, most people’s spiritual bodies are in poor health because modern society generally doesn’t acknowledge the existence of the spiritual body. This is responsible for the general lack of a higher meaning to our social structure, however, it is making a resurgence.

    Polarity: Yin (Feminine)

    Your spiritual body, and spirituality in general is feminine as the pursuit for meaning is a subjective, organic process without structure or rules. Spirituality is something that must be cultivated via nontangible means such as intuition, nonresistance and feeling, which is why it’s feminine in nature.

    Element: Wind (Wisdom)

    The spiritual body is associated with the element of wind. As wind is the element of the elders which represents wisdom, your connection to spirituality orbits a deeper wisdom within you that exceeds the realm of form.

    Spiritual body in poor health

    Your spiritual body in poor health means that you’re disconnected from it and that you’re disconnected from the source of creation (or god). Being disconnected from the source causes a state of unconsciousness in a lack of a deeper awareness of self. When it comes to wellness, the spiritual body is the spark in you. It is the very reason to not just live, but thrive, change the world, and help others out.

    Having an unhealthy spiritual body is like living as a husk with no meaning. You just grind through life with superficial desires, but there is no substance. There is no reason. You may find yourself getting exhausted, or that something is missing in your life, but you’re not sure what. You may feel empty inside, despite how much you try to fill that hole.

    When people are disconnected from their spiritual bodies, they tend to become increasingly materialistic. Their values become warped. Disconnecting from your spiritual body results in a contraction of consciousness. This means that your scope of awareness reduces, and brings you into a state of spiritual unconsciousness.

    Here are some signs that you are not connected to your spiritual body:

    • Lack of self awareness
    • General unconsciousness
    • You are governed by your programs
    • No spiritual or existential beliefs
    • You lack a sense of meaning in life
    • You have an exacerbated fear of death or mortality
    • Life seems sense, contracted, and simple

    Spiritual body in optimal health

    Spirituality nourishes you. When you are connected to your spiritual body, you have a more complete sense of wellness as it fills a hole inside you that can’t be filled any other way. You are at service, and feel the most fulfilled being at service.

    Spirituality is your cord into other dimensions of experience. When this connection is strong, you tap into your soul nature more. This means that you start having more spiritual experiences and insights, and can get deeper into your spiritual practices. A very strong spiritual body may facilitate the development of psychic abilities or spiritual gifts.

    When you are connected to your spiritual body, you have a higher awareness about life and oneself. You recognize that you are not your body, and a deeper connection with spirit allows you to embody the higher self rather than the egoic self.

    A strong spiritual body creates space for better ways of looking at reality and your place in it. It provides better philosophies to live by, which make you feel fulfilled, happy, and at peace with your reality.

    Here are some signs that you are connected to your spiritual body:

    • You have a deeper sense of awareness
    • You see beyond your conditioning
    • You have a connection to the higher self
    • You have a higher perspective of life
    • You feel connected with all things
    • You live by values
    • You live with morality
    • You regularly have deep insights and revelations
    • You have a sense of meaning
    • It facilitates self actualization and growth
    • Life seems limitless, expansive, and incomprehensible

    How to restore the spiritual body

    To restore your spiritual body you need to nourish it. This creates a stronger connection between your physical body, and the soul inhabiting it. It’s important to understand that you are more than your body. You are an infinite consciousness that is connected to all things in this universe and beyond. When you have that seed of curiosity about what you really are and life after death, make sure you water that seed and encourage it to grow!

    Walk your own path of discovery to try and find a deeper sense of meaning within your life. Life is an individual journey and if you do the same things without exploring your reality, you’re not going to be fulfilled. Pursue a journey of personal and spiritual growth, and see what dimensions of your life experience unfold.

    Pursue spiritual wisdom and practice spirituality. Everyone resonates with different spiritual practices whether it’s meditation, yoga, fasting, prayer, worship, or whatever makes you feel connected to a deeper part of yourself. I encourage you to explore different cultural modalities, and ancestral wisdom, and strive for understanding.

  • Self-Empowerment Through Radical Self-Responsibility

    Self-Empowerment Through Radical Self-Responsibility

    Some people have a lot of misfortune in their lives, while others seem to be handed everything. When you accept that life isn’t fair, it’s easier to stop blaming the world and to play with the hand of cards you were dealt.

    Let’s face it, the world can be a ruthless place. Life is going to hit sometimes, and there won’t be anything that you can do about it. To add insult to injury, sometimes it will be uncalled for, and you’ll be left with an important decision to make.

    Am I going to play the victim, blaming the world and pitying myself? Or am I going to take control of the situation, leverage it for my growth, and get on with it?

    One path is a nosedive into powerlessness. Other people might even give a shit for a moment, but sooner or later you’re going to be left alone wallowing in your self-pity, dependent on the world to cater to your every need.

    On the other hand, if you take responsibility for the things that happen and understand that sometimes, life just isn’t fair, that’s a fast track to real self-empowerment.

    So how can you turn your misfortune into a blessing? How can you leverage your unfair life situation to become much more empowered than people who have so much, but are dependent on things going right? Radical self-responsibility is the key.

    Why radical self-responsibility is a spiritual game changer

    Radical self-responsibility is an approach to life that involves taking complete ownership of your life’s outcomes. It’s the understanding that you’re the sole creator of your reality, where everything that happens within it is a manifestation of your consciousness.

    Understanding that your reality is dependent on your consciousness is the key to radical self-responsibility.

    You need to acknowledge that you shape your destiny, regardless of the challenges you face or the past experiences that have held you back. You are responsible for literally every aspect of your reality, even the things that are out of your control.

    Radical self-responsibility encourages you to be the driver of your life’s journey, rather than a passenger. Simply put, your life changes in beautiful ways on both an internal and external level when you fully acknowledge that you create your reality, one way or another.

    In this sense, when you understand your role as a creator, you start working the strings of life a little differently. This allows you to take control of your life trajectory, and achieve a quality of life that most people don’t (even those who are given everything).

    Self-responsibility vs radical self-responsibility

    Self-responsibility refers to taking accountability for your thoughts, beliefs, and everything that results from your actions. 

    Radical self-responsibility is a more wholesome, spiritual outlook of this phenomenon, where you take responsibility for everything that happens in your life.

    The secret here is to take responsibility for the things that weren’t in your control. If a bad situation happens to you, radical self-responsibility is to explore why you attracted that particular thing to happen, and what lesson it serves. Self-responsibility is needed to be a capable and independent adult.

    Radical self-responsibility leads to a deeper sense of empowerment and spiritual wholeness.

    Are you ready to take control of your life?

    If you want to be in control of your life, it starts by taking responsibility for every single occurrence that happens within it.

    The reason why so many people play the victim is because it’s easy to be the victim. It’s easy to defer responsibility by pointing the finger at something else, whether it’s a person, the government, or god.

    At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who or what you think is responsible for your life situation. And that’s the thing. If you think that anyone, or anything besides yourself is responsible for your life situation, then you need to try harder.

    Embracing radical self-responsibility isn’t just about shifting blame: It’s about recognizing your capacity to create positive change within, and outside of your own life. When you take control of your life, you cultivate some powerful intrinsic qualities that change your life experience for the better.

    Self-responsibility vs victimhood

    Self empowerment artwork

    The antonym for radical self-responsibility is the victim mentality.

    The victim mentality is where you believe that external forces control your life and that there’s nothing you can do about it, but blame. As we’ve discussed in other articles, blame is a dense energy that certainly isn’t going to help you attract the life situation that you actually want.

    But people blame anyone and anything anyway because it’s the easier pathway to cope with a difficult, or unfair situation. But victimhood is also a catch-22.

    When people give off the negative energy of victimization, they start attracting negative things into their lives in the form of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and situations. Things go downhill, so they blame even harder, giving away more of their power until their life becomes a concoction of blame, powerlessness, and resentment.

    Victimhood is a cycle that I see so many people get sucked into. The only way to get out of it, or avoid it is to cultivate an awareness of it and start building radical self-responsibility to overturn that table. Below are a couple of resources to further explore the victim mentality, and why it will ruin your life.

    Signs of vicimhood

    • Blame shifting: People with a victim mentality usually shift blame onto other people. They rarely take responsibility for their actions.

    • Helplessness: People with a victim mentality often feel powerless to change their circumstances. They believe their happiness is dependent on others.

    • Resistance to change: People with a victim mentality tend to resist change out of fear that it will disrupt their familiar, but unhappy status quo.

    • Lack of accountability: People with a victim mentality rarely acknowledge their role in creating their circumstances. It’s easier to point the finger when you defer responsibility.

    Impact of the victim mentality

    • Stunted Personal Growth: Believing that you’re not in control of your life prevents you from taking the necessary steps to grow, learn, and improve.

    • Strained Relationships: Constantly writing off problems to external sources can strain your relationships as it leads to an inability to reason.

    • Negative Self-Image: A victim mentality can erode your self-image, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

    • Unfulfilled Potential: By having a victim mentality, you’re simply not going to view your life situation in a way that instills optimism, hope, excitement, and all the good things that encourage you to make the most of your life experience.

    Spiritual victimhood

    Spiritual victimhood is something I also want to address here. Essentially, spiritual victimhood is using a facade to pretend you’re all spiritually developed and empowered, but you blame spiritual phenomena for your actions, behaviors, and so forth.

    How often do you hear people in the spiritual community say ‘I lost my shit at someone and screamed at them, but it’s Mercury retrograde, so it’s not really my fault’. Ever heard that before? How about ‘The full moon made me a little bit crazy last night, sorry about that!’

    Whether these phenomena actually do have an influence on you or not doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day, you’re still blaming something else for your own actions, and you’re trying to shift accountability to something else besides yourself.

    How can you get out of the victim spiral?

    Radical self-responsibility is the antidote to the victim mentality. The victim mentality is a very disempowering view of life where everything happens to you. 

    You have no control over it and you deserve all the sympathy in the world because life isn’t fair. Radical self-responsibility leans in the other direction – towards empowerment.

    People who have a victim mentality view themselves as helpless in the face of life’s challenges. They often see themselves as passive recipients of life’s outcomes and view their difficulties on external factors such as luck, other people, or circumstances beyond their control.

    To get out of this spiral, you need to understand that it’s not the challenges you face or the situation that you find yourself in that defines you as a person.

    It’s how you handle these challenges. So do it with dignity and honor. Be humble with your life. Because if you’re not, life can be a merciless teacher.

    Practical Steps to Embrace Radical Self-Responsibility

    Embracing radical self responsibility 1

    When things go wrong, especially when they’re out of your control, the first instinct is to react. But it’s easy to react, it’s hard to think about why you manifested this situation. By taking responsibility for what you do, and the effect that your actions have on your life, you are going to push towards better things with better outcomes.

    Let’s say you were caught in traffic and arrived late to work. It’s easy to blame traffic, but perhaps you should have left early if you had any suspicion. Even if you didn’t and there’s nothing you could have done, you need to acknowledge that you are arriving late and that it’s your error.

    Not to say you need to take the blame for everything that happens, but it’s important to acknowledge everything that affects other people. It might not be your fault, but it is your responsibility to follow up with your commitment and make amends if you can’t do what you said you would do.

    On the other hand, if your phone slips out of your hand and breaks, instead of yelling at your phone, you should turn that attention to yourself.

    Don’t beat yourself up about it, but maybe you shouldn’t have been holding your phone, or you should have been more careful with it. The first step to taking radical self-responsibility is to take accountability for your actions.

    Learn from your mistakes

    You don’t want to go in circles with your life. What I mean by this is if you don’t learn from your negative experiences, you’re bound to keep repeating them. In the context of radical self-responsibility, if you never take responsibility, there’s always going to be something to blame.

    That’s why you need to learn. Especially when something goes wrong, think about what you could have done differently to have changed the outcome.

    A big part of personal development simmers down to your ability to reflect, process, and pick up patterns. So pay attention when you feel like shoveling blame, and remember to bring it back to yourself.

    Make conscious decisions

    Every cause has an effect. By correlating the cause and effect of every behavior, action, attitude, or thought, you’ll begin to see that everything you do has an outcome. Whether that outcome works in your favor or not comes back to the thought process that created it, which is why you need to be conscious about your decisions.

    Realize that the energy you’re putting out will be returned in some form. If you put your energy into your work, the energy you receive will be money. If you put your energy into your growth, you will receive greater fulfillment. Therefore, be conscious of every little decision you make and know that those decisions all build up to create your life experience.

    Don’t attach yourself to the outcome

    It’s good to have plans and to move towards goals, but you shouldn’t be dependent on those outcomes for your happiness. When your satisfaction is independent of your material situation or life condition, it’s going to be a whole lot easier for you to accept outcomes that you didn’t expect, and to take responsibility for them.

    Your metric for a fulfilling life should be to experience it. At the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter how much shit you go through, and how much misfortune you have had. As long as you are present with your life experience instead of endlessly hoping, desiring… you’ll see that the outcome of your life doesn’t matter, as long as you did your best to enjoy it.

    Practice Self-Compassion

    A big part of radical self-responsibility comes down to showing yourself compassion. Don’t be too hard on yourself, because things aren’t always going to go your way. And it’s okay when things don’t go your way, or when you fail, or make mistakes.

    Recognize that you are a human being who isn’t perfect. Accept imperfections and maintain a positive self-image, regardless of how much you muck up. Also, don’t let it get you down! Be forgiving of yourself as you work through the challenges of life. Understand that changes take time, so apply this self-compassion to this learning process too.

    Taking responsibility for what is out of your control

    Man standing in space

    Now that we’ve looked at the things you can do to take control of your life, radical self-responsibility is to feel accountable even for the things that happen to you that aren’t in your control.

    There’s a fine line when it comes to taking accountability for everything. This can also spiral in a negative direction if you play the martyr or pity yourself. But genuinely believing that you have power over every situation that you go through in life can also be the most liberating experience you can imagine.

    This is the yin dynamic of radical self-responsibility as it involves your perception, mindset, and outlook on life, typically from a spiritual perspective. Before doing so, I suggest reading the article below for context.

    Your life is a manifestation of your consciousness

    If you follow my work, you’ll understand that reality is malleable. Your consciousness creates your entire life experience and calls in the lessons it needs to go through in this life. From a spiritual perspective, you are creating the difficult lessons in your life for your growth and evolution. Deep down, you chose these hardships.

    Once you learn the lessons you need to learn, things will ease up and life will become much easier to navigate. If you believe this, then how can you blame externally when you know you’re the reason for literally everything you’re experiencing? Realize that all of this is coming from your reality, not someone else’s.

    Your soul chose this life

    You chose to be here. You chose all of these difficulties, all of the trauma, all of the dysfunctions you would face. At a soul level, you chose to be born into poverty, because your soul needed to experience that particular lesson to evolve. You chose to lose someone close to you, because, from a spiritual perspective, your soul needed to mourn.

    You might not want to believe this. If you’ve been through something very traumatic, of course, the instinct is to blame whoever was responsible for causing that suffering. That’s fair. But if you want to do this thing, you’ve got to get beyond the ego that wants to play the martyr, because your soul chose to experience that particular lesson for its spiritual growth.

    Build the muscle of gratitude

    Gratitude is of the highest frequency we can experience. As gratitude signals that things are going great, when you build the muscle of gratitude by expressing appreciation as much as you can, your entire reality is going to change. Therefore, if you want to take radical self-responsibility, start pushing yourself to be more appreciative.

    It doesn’t work the other way around. Life doesn’t hand you things then you become grateful. You become grateful for the little things, and life will start giving you more because it’s reciprocating to your vibration.

    If you’re in a constant state of blame, your vibration is constantly going to be low, meaning you’re constantly going to be attracting more unpleasant experiences because they match the vibration. So turn this ship around, and take responsibility for your emotions, knowing they create your reality and aren’t dependent on it.

  • Personal Ecosystems: A Better Approach to Personal Development

    Personal Ecosystems: A Better Approach to Personal Development

    The concept of personal ecosystems is a holistic approach to personal development, and is based on the notion that no part of your life is an island.

    Everything about you is thoroughly intertwined, and this is why it’s important to view personal development as an interconnected web of experiences, rather than isolated skill sets that only serve a single function.

    Conventional methods of personal development compartmentalize our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. You might not think there’s a relationship between your social skills and your mental health, or perhaps your confidence and perception of life, but these seemingly separate aspects of your life experience are interdependent.

    Every trait, characteristic, mindset, skill, and ability that you have is reliant on other parts of you, and this is what the personal ecosystem approach to personal development is about: Looking at the whole, not the isolated aspects.

    Everything that you experience is connected in some way, as your life experience is the collective of everything you’ve learned. Every aspect of yourself spills into other areas of your life experience, meaning that if you want to improve a skill, you’ll need to improve other areas that support that skill.

    Confusing? Well, let’s look at the approach of personal ecosystems to explore this phenomenon, and why taking this approach is going to completely change your relationships with personal development.

    What is a personal ecosystem?

    Personal ecosystems concept art

    Imagine yourself as an ecosystem. Every element of who you are works together to create a functional whole. Just as a healthy ecosystem requires a delicate balance of organisms and environmental factors, your personal ecosystem thrives when you cultivate a harmonious equilibrium among all dimensions of your life experience.

    If your social skills are lacking, it’s going to make many areas of your life more difficult. This lack of skills will also affect your work life, your dating life, your access to opportunities, and perhaps your confidence or self-esteem.

    Likewise, if you have some pretty deep trauma, it’s going to affect more than just your mental health. It’s also going to impact things like your social life and work life.

    Your growth is not limited to the enhancement of specific skills.

    While skill development is necessary, it’s just one piece of the personal development puzzle. Your relationships, emotional intelligence, habits, self-awareness, and even the environments you spend your time in collectively contribute to your overall well-being.

    This is how you should perceive your journey of personal growth, that your well-being is an ecosystem that is healthy, unhealthy, or anywhere in between.

    Understanding personal ecosystems: There’s always a root cause

    When you’re trying to develop any particular area of your life, you’ll discover deeper layers that need to be worked on. When you start digging into those deeper layers, even more layers are discovered.

    Ever find yourself in this situation? You just want a simple fix for one issue, then suddenly there are ten different things that you need to work on.

    So let’s say you want to improve your social skills because you struggle to make fulfilling connections with people. You realize that it’s not just a single skill set that you need to work on, so you break it down into some key skill sets. Some of the things you need to work on involve:

    • Improving your communication skills
    • Making stronger first impressions
    • Improving your confidence
    • Becoming more self-assertive

    Just by trying to improve one skill set, you realize that it branches into many different skill sets. Now you think ‘Okay, I’m going to start by building my confidence‘, so you start learning how to do that, and this one characteristic branches into many other areas that need to be worked on. Some of these areas include:

    • Be more outgoing
    • Stop seeking approval
    • Desensitize from the fear of rejection
    • Heal your abandonment wound

    Suddenly, there’s a deeper layer of things that you need to work on just to improve your confidence. When you look into one of those improvements, it just leads you further down the rabbit hole.

    What this tells you is that every element of self-improvement has a prerequisite. Every prerequisite has other prerequisites. Everything is connected in a web, meaning that if you develop one area of your life, you’re vicariously working on others too.

    Therefore, instead of viewing personal development as working on individual aspects of yourself, don’t solely focus on learning what’s directly associated with that area of improvement.

    Instead, work on everything bit by bit, and don’t neglect any areas of your life experience. Cast a broader net, and you’ll find that it’s a more efficient approach.

    As you learn more valuable information regarding personal development, start applying it to your life immediately, regardless of whether it’s related to what you want to improve, or not. Take the wholesome approach to personal development, and you’re going to create a thriving, sustainable personal ecosystem.

    Interconnected areas of your personal ecosystem

    The law of duality - the mind body connection

    The four major areas of your well-being are the physical body, the mental body, the emotional body, and the spiritual body. Everything that we experience ties into these four bodies. To live a life at your optimal ability where you can achieve an amazing quality of life, it’s important not to neglect any one of these bodies.

    Here we’ll have a look at what they are. To learn more about these corners of your well-being, read the article below:

    The physical body

    Your physical health is a core component of your life experience. If you are in poor health, you’re not going to have the energy or motivation to improve other areas of your life. The state of your body is also a reflection (and manifestation) of the deeper workings of your mind and spirit. They are generally congruent.

    When you’re feeling at your best physically, you have a much better platform to improve the other aspects of yourself. You’re going to feel more confident in yourself, have more self-love, and generally value yourself more as you’re not treating your body like trash.

    Nutrition, exercise, sleep, and self-care are integral elements that fuel your energy, vitality, and resilience. So make sure that you’re looking after yourself. Some elements of the physical body include:

    • Level of fitness
    • Physical strength and endurance
    • Vitality and energy levels
    • Strength of the immune system
    • Physique and appearance
    • Balanced brain chemistry
    • Occurrence of dysfunctions

    The mental body

    Your mental body refers to the realm of mind. When people think of personal development as a whole, they’re usually referring to the mental aspect of it, as the mind is responsible for mindsets, mentalities, and outlooks.

    The mind is a powerful tool to organize your reality, and it has a huge influence on your life experience. With an unhealthy mind, your life becomes a mess in so many ways. With a robust mind, you set the stage for an amazing life experience to occur.

    The mental body is thoroughly connected to aspects of your life experience such as your belief systems, perceptions, the way you think, attitudes, and behaviors. Aspects of yourself such as your intelligence, resourcefulness, and cognitive clarity constitute the realm of mind. Nurturing a positive mindset, managing stress, and fostering a growth-oriented outlook all contribute to a resilient mental ecosystem. Some aspects of the mind involve:

    • Mindsets and outlooks
    • Perceptions and mentalities
    • Intelligence
    • Resourcefulness
    • Efficiency
    • Ambition
    • Work ethic
    • Knowledge

    The emotional body

    The emotional body is responsible for your emotional health, and your emotional health has a deep impact on every other area of your life.

    As the health of your physical and mental bodies are heavily dependent on your emotional body, when you heal yourself and experience more high-vibrational emotions such as gratitude and joy, problems with your other bodies will be resolved too.

    What the emotional body comes down to is healing. Everyone’s emotional body is wounded to some degree, whether you’re aware of these wounds or not. When you have trauma that was created through painful events in your life, it’s all stored in the emotional body.

    We tend to carry a lot of dysfunction in our lives which are tied to this dimension of experience, as many things are a manifestation of trauma. This trauma can result in depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, loneliness, and feelings of hopelessness. The trauma stored in this body can make the experience of life extremely unpleasant. Below are some aspects of the emotional body.

    • The amount of trauma you carry
    • Whether you’re emotionally balanced
    • Emotional stability
    • How much joy you experience
    • How much pain you experience
    • How grateful you are for your life
    • Self-doubt and self-worth

    The spiritual body

    The spiritual body is the deepest layer of your well-being. In a way, everything manifests from the spiritual body.

    This body represents the soul, which is your connection to other dimensions of reality. The spiritual body is responsible for the expansion of your consciousness, and for lack of a better word, how broad your life experience is.

    When you embark on a journey of spiritual growth, your entire life experience begins to transform. This transformation has a profound impact on your emotional health, mental health, and even physical health. When your spiritual body is neglected, you are unaware.

    You live life in your inbuilt programs. Below are some elements of your life experience that are related to the spiritual body

    • Sense of fulfillment
    • Sense of purpose
    • Ability to manifest
    • Presence
    • Vibration
    • Ability to tap into spiritual gifts
    • Expansion of your consciousness

    Strengthening your personal ecosystem

    Self-integration

    View personal development as if you’re adding pieces to the puzzle of consciousness. When you complete the picture, that’s when you begin achieving your potential in life and making it into something that you’re proud of.

    But how are you going to figure out where a single piece goes if you haven’t added many others? You need that context, that support, that perspective. When you use the personal ecosystems approach, you see your health, your relationships, and your job – they’re all pieces of the same puzzle.

    It’s like taking care of a garden – when you water the plants, they all grow, and the whole garden becomes beautiful to create a whole. The garden wouldn’t have the same effect if you only took care of a few plants and let the others die. It wouldn’t be much of a garden at all.

    Nurture your relationships

    Having people in your life who care about you is important for your personal ecosystem, because social influence is powerful. This is why you should be careful who you give your energy to, because your social relationships are a big part of your personal ecosystem.

    Whether it’s your romantic relationships, your friends, family, or the workplace, make sure you spend your time around people who are a good influence on you. Having good-quality social circles is like adding sunlight to your personal ecosystem. Everyone in your life should be pushing one another up, and mutually benefiting one another in a harmonious connection where everyone prospers.

    When you’re in a toxic relationship with someone, whether it’s a relationship that doesn’t serve your growth, friends that make you feel small, or you’re in a work environment with miserable people who constantly bring down the energy, these kinds of connections are blocking out the sun from your personal ecosystem.

    Talking nicely and listening is part of good communication. When we have good relationships, we feel happy. Just like plants need sun, our relationships need attention too. By improving yourself, your social relationships thrive, meaning your personal ecosystem thrives.

    Continuously learn and grow

    Always strive to learn new things and develop yourself inside out.

    If your ecosystem is your garden, the act of learning is like planting flowers, herbs, and vegetables. The personal ecosystem becomes more efficient, effective, and overall a more beautiful place to live. It becomes more sustainable as knowledge unlocks new areas of your life experience.

    When you are curious, you learn interesting new things which can be used to improve your life. You don’t just wait for teachers – you actively seek them out. Research things, talk to people,

    Knowledge is everywhere, like when we read, watch, or try new things. Learning new skills, like painting or cooking, is fun and helps you grow. It’s like adding colorful flowers to our ecosystem. So, by being curious and trying new things, we make our personal ecosystem a place full of amazing learning adventures.

  • How To Build Self-Worth When You Feel Inadequate

    How To Build Self-Worth When You Feel Inadequate

    Do you feel like you’re just never good enough?

    No matter how much you do, you’re constantly back to square one with nothing to show. You feel like a letdown, a failure, a loser. But despite how much judgment you get, nothing quite sizes up to the disappointment you have for yourself.

    Many of us have self-worth issues that prevent us from achieving our potential because we believe we are not worthy of winning. This is a problem because feeling like you’re never good enough prevents you from trying in the first place.

    But the only obstacle you have is the one in your mind. How hard you try is one thing but without self-belief, you bow out of the race before it has even begun.

    With that said, here are some ways to boost your self-worth, to feel like you can take on the world and win.

    Because you can.

    Why is self-worth so important?

    People enjoying their lives

    Self-worth is the belief that you deserve love, care, and respect. It is to value yourself and realize that you are as important as anyone else. As self-worth is connected to confidence and self-esteem, a healthy sense of self-worth allows you to feel good in yourself.

    Think of self-worth as your internal compass that guides how you see yourself, and how you fit into the world.

    Having high self-worth is about knowing that you’re important and that you deserve the things you want in life. Not only are you deserving, but there’s no reason why you can’t achieve those things too.

    When your self-worth is high, you feel confident, handle challenges better, and build healthier relationships. Likewise, you’re better at getting somewhere in life because you believe in yourself and value your work.

    On the flip side, when your self-worth is low, it means you don’t value yourself. As a result of not valuing yourself, you feel less confident, insecure, and disempowered. You push opportunities away because you feel like you’re not good enough to handle them, or that you don’t deserve them.

    In this sense, low self-worth can lead to self-sabotage, self-victimization, and core shame because you won’t take what you deserve.

    In a world that tells us we’re only as good as the number of likes we have on social media, it’s important to remember that your worth isn’t based on your external condition.

    Even though it’s okay to have moments when you’re not feeling so hot, it’s important not to get stuck there, and take steps to make yourself feel more important.

    Let’s distinguish low self-worth and high self-worth in the images below:

    What causes low self-worth?

    There can be quite a lot of different factors that contribute to low self-worth. Sometimes it’s linked to experiences from the past, like being constantly criticized or constantly failing at something. Traumatic events, especially in childhood, can really impact how we see ourselves too.

    But it’s not just about what happens to us. How we interpret these events matters too. If we constantly compare ourselves to others or have really high expectations that we can’t meet, it can chip away at our self-worth.

    Other people imposing their expectations that are too much can also be a cause. When I was a teacher in Vietnam, I saw this a lot among the students. In Vietnamese culture, parents often have super high expectations for their kids, and they all expect their kids to be on top of the class.

    Of course, not everyone can be on top of the class, otherwise, everyone would be average. But since those students were letting down their parents (and I imagine many of them were pretty badly punished by them), the expectations of their parents affected many of my student’s self-worth.

    With that said, our relationships also play a big role. Being in toxic relationships or hanging around people who put us down can seriously affect how we see ourselves. Even if it’s not intentional, the way others treat us can shape our self-worth.

    There’s also this thing called our inner critic. You know, that voice in our head that always points out what we did wrong or why we’re not good enough? That little voice can be super powerful in influencing our self-worth.

    These are just some pieces of the puzzle, but everyone’s story is unique. The causes of low self-worth can be a mix of experiences, thoughts, and relationships that shape how we view ourselves.

    10 signs of low self worth
    10 signs of high self worth

    How to build your self-worth

    After going through what self-worth is and why it’s so important to improve it, let’s get into the good stuff. Here are some suggestions to build your self-worth if you’re struggling with low self-worth issues.

    Maybe people just didn’t care enough, but if you’re expecting others to come in and save the day, it might just lead to a whole lot of hurt. So you need to be there for yourself. This is where self-compassion comes in. If you visualize yourself being there for yourself, it can make you feel a whole lot better.

    Now let’s look at some things you can do to build your self-worth.

    Stop comparing yourself to others

    A lot of pain is created through comparison. If you feel like you’re not where you want to be in life, you might notice that you tend to evaluate yourself depending on what other people have (or what they seem to have).

    You see a happy couple and feel miserable because you’re not in a relationship. Even if you are in a happy relationship, you might see happier people, who look more successful, or who love each other more. Then you see someone who is wealthy, and you feel like a loser because you’re struggling to make so little.

    But it’s all a trap.

    There’s always going to be someone who has something you want. There’s always going to be someone who dwarfs your efforts. If you need to be the best, you’re always going to lose.

    That’s the thing.

    You don’t see these people’s lives behind the curtains, you’re just assuming all is good when I’m sure there are things that you have, internal or external, that they would want too.

    As long as your sense of self comes from a competitive position where you feel you should be doing better than others – You’re always going to feel unworthy.

    That’s why it’s important to stop comparing yourself, and instead focus on your progress. As long as you focus on your progress and what you can do now – you’re going to feel a lot better about yourself.

    Watch the negative self-talk

    When you feel like you’re not good enough, it becomes very easy to criticize yourself. With that said, self-criticism is usually an unconscious process, and it’s something that you need to look out for.

    You blame yourself for not living up to who you want to become. You berate yourself, pity yourself, and probably sabotage yourself too, because you feel like you’re worthless.

    Therefore, if you want to build your self-worth, you need to start drilling in more positive ways of talking about yourself. Make sure that you are growth-oriented which will give you valuable feedback about how to continuously improve.

    Visualize a powerful you!

    Visualization techniques can be powerful to create a healthier framework of your actions, behaviors, or self at large!

    Mental rehearsal can also be a useful technique that allows you to picture yourself with more value. This essentially paves the road by accurately envisioning any particular reality and regularly feeling into it to embody it.

    If you’re bashing yourself for not being good enough, you’re just going to feel worse every time you do. So be conscious of it. Every time you catch yourself putting yourself down, stop yourself in your tracks. Replace the negative self-talk with something productive, and think about how you can change the expression to be on your side.

    Focus on where you are right now

    Your fixation on the future is a big reason why you feel insufficient. Let’s face it, your present situation might not be perfect, but it’s good enough. If you were to actually sit with yourself and stop thinking about the future, or the past, you would probably feel a whole lot more content with your current circumstances.

    The future can create a lot of stress when you’re too fixed on it. You’re always thinking about why you need to improve your situation, what you’re doing wrong, how you can be better…

    Exhausting isn’t it?

    But when you learn to drop into your body more and just allow the experience of consciousness to be what it is, you don’t suffer. That’s why it’s important to just enjoy life for what it is.

    Be present and allow it to take you where it will.

    Look at how far you’ve come

    If you’ve been on the personal growth journey for some time, your reality has probably become a very different place. Not to say that there aren’t still challenges, but sometimes you just need to appreciate how far you have come.

    When you’re getting bogged in self-pity, think about all the different things you have done. Think about the things that did work out for you, the adventures you have been on, the memories you have. You have gone through a lot. Sometimes you just need to give yourself some credit, and put it all into perspective.

    If you feel you haven’t come far and have nothing to smile at (which I’m sure you do), it’s either because you just don’t see it, or it’s because you haven’t put in the effort.

    Look at your core beliefs

    These feelings of not being good enough likely come from persistent, core beliefs. We all carry around core beliefs that were cultivated throughout our childhood, our life experiences, society, and the culture we live in.

    But without being aware of these deep-rooted influences, they run your life for you. Feeling insufficient could be the result of outdated programming

    For example, we place a huge emphasis on our work in Western society, and people tend to base their self-worth on it. You might feel proud if you’re a successful doctor, but you might feel ashamed of yourself if you’re a 40-year-old bartender.

    By really digging into your core beliefs and discerning what is authentic, and what you’ve just picked up as a byproduct, you can see whether your self-worth issues are justified.

    Learn to value your work

    The internal work is only half the job of building your self-worth. After looking at how to change your perspective to feel better about yourself, now let’s look at things you can practically do to create a life that you’re proud of.

    You need to be honest with yourself. Are you doing everything you can to create a great life for yourself? Are you honestly doing everything in your power to change? Don’t just say you are when you’re spending hours every time watching Netflix.

    If you feel like there are things that could be improved, it’s your responsibility to improve them. Whether this comes to improving your life condition by working harder at your avocations, putting in the time to learn new things, or developing the outlooks you need to feel complete, everything in life requires some work.

    So don’t make excuses and put your growth off. Write down what you need to do. Take steps to improve those areas and hold yourself accountable for your progress. With the right mentality, you will see that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to, you just need to start walking the talk.

    Create goals and track your progress

    It’s good to have some structure in your life. You need to build a solid plan of what you need to do, to get where you want to go. Especially when you’re feeling low, it’s easy to get trapped in the cycle of non-action.

    Write everything you want to achieve down. Set reasonable goals, daily – weekly or monthly, and take little steps – every day. These steps could be watching a tutorial about something you want to learn. Completing a couple of tasks for your business or avocation. Hitting a milestone in your practice of something you enjoy doing.

    By adding some structure to your life, you’re giving yourself a ladder to climb. This way you can be sure you’re always making progress in your life, which is going to help with those feelings of not being good enough.

    Strive to do big things, but don’t base your self-worth on it

    A sense of purpose is a great propeller in life. With a sense of purpose, you will feel more motivated, and that motivation will drive you to accomplish more. By accomplishing more things, you’re bound to feel better about yourself, because you feel like you’re progressing.

    It’s good to have big goals and to want to take on the world, but sometimes when we get too closely attached to a particular outcome, our self-worth becomes dependent on it.

    That’s why it’s important to go after the things you want, but if it’s slow going, don’t be hard on yourself. Just by trying you’re already a winner, and the act of trying will help you value yourself more.

    What interests you? Refine what you want in life by following your passions and keeping your eyes on the prize. Take small steps often towards larger goals.

    Stop waiting for things to change, take action

    Stop waiting around for things to change if you don’t like your current circumstances, and start taking action. When you take your learning curve into your own hands, it gives you an enormous sense of satisfaction.

    If you don’t take action, nothing’s going to change. Stop waiting for something better to come along, and start making it happen. Take more of a proactive stance, and drive the change you’re looking for.

  • How To Practice Self-Compassion When You’re Feeling Unsupported

    Living a nomadic lifestyle, it would be an understatement to say that I haven’t been in some difficult situations. During my year living in the US, however, I was at an all-time low.

    I was in a situation I didn’t want to be in, in a country I didn’t belong in, and things were not going to plan at all. I had no family or friends to talk to, and for the most part, I was completely alone in this journey.

    During one particularly dark moment, that’s when I saw him. It wasn’t a person, it wasn’t a god. I saw myself, and he saved me.

    If you feel like you’re desperately looking for something that is outside of yourself. You are the missing link. Only you can fulfill that need in yourself, and you do that by coming to your rescue.

    Let me lead you through this process of self-compassion to genuinely feel all the love and support the universe has to offer.

    Showing self-compassion during those dark moments

    Spirit of compassion

    After several years of living in Vietnam, Mexico, and Guatemala, I made a detour to the United States due to difficulties traveling during the pandemic.

    With a now-expired passport and no way to get back to Australia due to border closures during the pandemic, I was well and truly on my own.

    I spent a couple of weeks couchsurfing with strangers and doorknocking for jobs. At the last minute, I found a job and a more permanent place to stay.

    I was back on my feet, but during my time in the US, I felt very alone. Commuting by bus every day to work in a low-paying job waiting tables was a special kind of hell I didn’t want to be in. Then there was the fact that I felt trapped. I had no money to leave, and even if I did, I had no passport.

    It felt like I had regressed to the hardest period of my life – and there was no way out. There was no escaping this emptiness I felt – Something I knew I had to confront if I wanted to figure out why the universe brought me here, and what I was supposed to learn from this experience.

    What does it mean to be self-compassionate?

    Being self-compassionate is like offering a warm embrace to yourself during tough times. It’s about treating yourself with the same understanding that you’d show to a close friend who’s going through a rough patch.

    Self-compassion involves acknowledging your struggles without judgment, being gentle with your feelings, and providing yourself with the support and encouragement needed to navigate through difficulties.

    If you have a strong support circle, maybe you don’t need to rely on self-compassion so much, because you get it from others. But many of us don’t have that, at least not at times.

    Self-compassion is essential when we’re going through something difficult and don’t have a soul to talk to. When we feel like nobody else is there for us, we must be there for ourselves.

    Generally, I don’t rely on self-compassion. But there have been situations in my life where I had to be there for myself. And because I was going through something alone, I genuinely felt compassionate for myself, which made me feel supported by my own eternal spirit.

    Identifying the help you need

    Person praying to god

    If you’re in a low spot in your life, ask yourself what you need. If someone were to come and help you get back on your feet, what is it exactly they would do?

    It’s important to feel what you need in that moment. Is it support, love, encouragement? Do you just need someone to talk to?

    Often when I see people coming to the aid of others without any hidden agenda, it jerks an emotional reaction. This tends to happen when I’m watching a war movie and reinforcements charge into battle to save their comrades. Or when someone goes back to help their friend despite risking their life in the process.

    I get this emotional reaction when I see someone helping an injured or dying animal, or when someone sticks up for the underdog despite going against the odds.

    Since I feel this way whenever someone comes to support or defend others, it tells me that there’s something there. Whether it’s a wound of neglect, betrayal, or abandonment, I’m not entirely sure. But it doesn’t matter.

    These are triggers: Having a disproportionate reaction to something. A trigger might indicate a sore point, and this is how you can come in and save the day.

    Exploring the underlying wound of your trigger

    Paying attention to these triggers showed me that I had a wound around betrayal. I would get emotional when I saw people supporting others because I didn’t feel supported.

    As I still have wounds of betrayal, I tend to attract situations in my life where I’m taken advantage of by others. It never ceases to sting because due to this wound, I always make sure I’m unconditionally there for others.

    That’s the silver lining, but the wound itself was something I never knew how to heal. As these patterns continued in my life, I found myself robbed of energy with nobody to help me get back on my feet.

    I was getting sucked deeper and deeper into this hole of despair. These painful emotions were bubbling, and I just wanted to get it all out but didn’t know what to do.

    Visualize your higher self coming to the rescue

    Sunrise over water water color

    Feeling at my worst, I was hoping that someone would reach out to me. But nothing changed. I started to feel more desperate, more alienated, and more lost.

    At one moment when I was curled up on my bed, that’s when something happened. Automatically, I saw myself coming to my aid. He walked in the door, looking a little older, a little wiser, and a little more mature than I am.

    In this visualization, this higher version of myself walked up to me with a look of compassion on his face.

    He said, “It’s okay, I’m here for you now, you are loved”. I saw him comforting me as if I was watching both of us from a third-person perspective.

    That’s when I felt it. The entire dam burst as I felt the unconditional support that I had been longing for. I started crying because I felt touched. I felt relieved. I felt cared for.

    I realized that it wasn’t another person I needed, I don’t think that would have created the same emotional reaction. This whole time I needed myself, for I had abandoned myself.

    By visualizing this higher version of me filling that hole, there was a beautiful moment of healing, clarity, and integration.

    Everything you need is inside you

    We look for support from others, and we start feeling desperate when we don’t get it. After all, no man is an island, but it’s easy to feel that we need others, when there might be nobody to help.

    Learning to visualize yourself coming to your rescue is such a powerful technique, and goes to show that we have everything we need within ourselves.

    When you vividly picture a higher version of yourself coming down the giving you the support you need, it has the same effect (or more) than if someone else came to your rescue.

    That’s because you know yourself. You know exactly what will help you because you’re the one who desperately needs it. And when you give yourself the support you are looking for, you will feel a tangible difference.

    So visualize yourself coming to your aid, and watch it as if it is a movie. Watch the scene in as vivid detail as you can, and experience how it feels. Watch your higher self showing you love, supporting you, healing you, and being there for you, and see how you feel afterward.

    Supporting your lower self

    Sunset

    For integration, visualize yourself going into an old memory to support you when you need it the most. Maybe this was when you felt alone as a kid, or you were going through a time when you felt unsupported.

    Image yourself going into that scene, and give your younger self the support and care they need. Imagine that younger version of yourself melting in your arms while you tell him or her that everything will be okay.

    Going back into a past scene and being there for yourself helps you integrate a past version of yourself. In this scenario, you are the rescuer. You may feel some shifts within yourself.

    So besides visualizing your higher self coming to your rescue when you’re feeling low, also visualize yourself going back in time to rescue yourself during times you needed it, but didn’t have it.

    With this visualization technique, you’ll feel a whole lot more wholesome, and you’ll be surprised by how effective it is.

  • Live Consciously: The Key To A Wholesome Life

    Live Consciously: The Key To A Wholesome Life

    In a world that moves at lightning speed, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We find ourselves rushing from one task to another, and constantly juggling multiple responsibilities. But amidst this chaos, have you ever stopped to ask yourself – are you actually in control here?

    For most of us, the answer is no. We’re dictated by our internal programs and often don’t even realize why we’re doing what we do. You might just be running on autopilot, without a deeper awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

    This is the trap of unconscious living, and it’s a rampant problem in today’s world. Not just because it leads you nowhere, but because it’s a deeply unfulfilling state to be in.

    If you want to live a wholesome life, it’s essential to bring awareness into everything you do. Live consciously by steering the course of your life in a direction that serves your growth.

    Whether you’re going about your daily tasks or eating a meal, every moment offers the opportunity to be present with the experience. As we’ve become conditioned to life on the go, living consciously has become somewhat of a lost art.

    That’s why I’m going to teach you how to resurrect this lost art form in this article, which will create space for a more wholesome life experience. 

    What does it mean to live consciously?

    Living consciously is to be mindful about every action you make, and to be present with each experience you have. It’s to live deliberately, and in a way that aligns with your highest interests.

    Therefore, living consciously is the act of bringing awareness, thought, and consideration to your decisions rather than making them out of habit. It extends to every aspect of your life, such as your relationships, career, lifestyle, and feelings.

    Let’s be honest. Most of the time we’re just doing things out of habit without really thinking about why we do them. We just do them because they’re normal patterns, and there are a million other things on our minds.

    Since we have become accustomed to such a fast pace of life, we forget to be present with the experiences we’re having, which is what life’s about. Your awareness of how you’re living allows you to live life in a better way, that leads to your growth and wellbeing.

    Think about it. How often do you watch a show or scroll on social media while you’re eating a meal? How often are you thinking about something else when you’re talking to a friend, working, or going for a walk?

    You might find that your mind is always separated from your body. And that’s what living consciously is about: Bringing it all back to the present moment, and allowing yourself to be here in the now without distracting yourself.

    So when you live consciously, you live more fully. You’re present with the experience you’re having, and that allows you to make better decisions rather than acting unconsciously.

    Instead of always being caught in your mind and acting on impulse, you take time to consider everything you’re doing by living in a way that promotes growth.

    Living unconsciously?

    Unconscious people

    Unconscious living is to live passively, while not giving thought or focus to the things you’re doing. 

    Unconsciously living is running on autopilot without being present with the experience you’re having or being aware of the decisions you’re making. Instead, you’re just doing them because they feel normal to you.

    Living unconsciously is to lack self-awareness. This is to be dictated by your unconscious programs without the realization that you’re run by them. Unconscious people usually spend their entire lives dealing with the same obstacles, because there is no desire to overcome them. So instead, they go in circles and continue experiencing the same painful things in their lives.

    Unconscious people don’t look at themselves or reflect on their life experiences. They tend to blame external circumstances rather than their own decisions, due to their lack of self-awareness.

    Until we reach a point of self-awareness where we’re forced to look into who we are and why we do the things we do, we remain dictated by our unconscious programs, and as a result, live unconscious lives.

    The road to conscious living

    Living consciously

    Below are some prompts to think about. Take them seriously and be honest with yourself. If you haven’t thought about one of the questions, make sure to give it some consideration. This will only help you grow as a person, and bring new possibilities into your life

    With everything said, it’s important to stay consistent with your practices and to apply the information in this article.

    Living consciously isn’t a switch that you just turn on. It’s an everyday act and a lifestyle that you need to cultivate.

    • Are you living congruently with your values?
    • Do you think critically about your life?
    • How often do you reflect?
    • Are you aware of your actions and behaviors, and why you have them?
    • Are you continuously working on yourself?
    • How often do you multitask?
    • Do you take full responsibility for your decisions?
    • Do you act on impulse, or think before you do?
    • Do the things you do add value to your life?
    • What is your living condition like?
    • Are you living the life you actually want to live?
    • Do you constantly have issues in your relationships?
    • How present are you in day to day life?
    • Do you have strong intentions for your life?
    • Do you have plans for your life?
    • Are the reasons why you want to do something dependent on other influences?
    • Do you neglect self care?

    Be conscious with your spending

    It’s easy to be unconscious with spending. This is something that so many of us lose the ball with because we unconsciously spend on things that don’t give us value.

    I’m not saying that you have to be frugal, but consider each purchase before you make it, and ask yourself whether it’s actually in your best interest. You can still have fun and enjoy your money, after all what’s it for if you can’t enjoy it? But focus on buying things that improve your life.

    You could spend a hundred dollars on a drunken night out which could be some fun. But you could spend that same hundred dollars on a course that benefits your life. Likewise, you can buy lots of junk food, or you can invest that money into a healthier lifestyle.

    On the other hand, you might have all these tedious subscription fees for services you never really use. Essentially your bank is leaking, but you’re not conscious of it to plug up those holes.

    So think about what you’re purchasing, and if there’s something else you should be using that money on. Tidy up your spending, cut back, and redirect it towards things that improve your life.

    Be conscious about your time

    Do you tend to waste away your time procrastinating? Are you constantly scrolling on social media, watching shows, and playing games? Assess how you’re using your time, and ask yourself whether you’re using it wisely.

    Time is the most valuable asset in our lives because it can’t be replenished. Therefore it’s important to be conscious about how you use your time each day, and to really think about what you’re using it for.

    For the most part, are you investing your time into productive activities that move the needle in your life? Because if you’re not, you’re just robbing yourself with temporary satisfaction.

    So strive to use your time more wisely. There are a million things you could be doing that will benefit your life.

    You don’t always need to be doing something productive. This will lead to burnout. But you should be regularly using your time to work towards bigger things in life, whether it’s a better career, a happy family, a great lifestyle, or an avocation that can make the world a better place.

    Get into the habit of leveraging your time, and make sure you’re using it to progress your life in some way. If you’re wasting it away on activities that don’t even make you feel good, be aware that you’re doing it, and change.

    Be conscious in your relationships

    To live consciously in a relationship, you need to be aware of your partner’s needs, and the relationship dynamics. There should be acknowledgement and respect, and you should always be aware of what you’re doing and how it affects the other person.

    When people are living unconsciously in relationships, those relationships tend to break down. They tend to only think about themselves which leads to a lack of acknowledgement and regard for the other person.

    It’s important to resolve conflicts early and to be aware of one another’s boundaries.

    But living consciously doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships, it applies to all of your relationships. It starts by being aware of other people’s needs and wants, and learning how to navigate social interactions skillfully.

    Be conscious about your health

    The choices you make regarding your health are important. It’s easy to let ourselves go and barely think about what our bodies need.

    So think about how conscious you are when it comes to your health. Do you tend to neglect your physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual health?

    What’s important is to build your lifestyle around nourishing yourself and finding a balance. If you’re constantly eating junk, never exercising, swallowing your emotions, and watching TV, of course, you’re going to feel like shit.

    That’s because you’re completely neglecting your health. You need to be conscious of these four elements of health and work on each of them to be at your best. Think about the following:

    • What is your diet like?
    • Do you get enough sleep?
    • Do you exercise?
    • How much coffee or alcohol do you drink>
    • Do you take care of your mental health?
    • Do you have a lifestyle that encourages fitness?
    • Are you nourishing your spiritual body?

    Start making better decisions regarding your health, and take action.

    Be conscious about your decisions

    Do you think about everything you do before you do it, or do you make decisions out of habit? Do you consider where that decision might lead you, and what outcome it may have?

    After all, your decisions create your life. If you’re making unconscious decisions, you might wonder why your life didn’t turn out the way you expected. If you are conscious of your decisions, then you are always moving in a positive direction.

    For a broader picture, living consciously means to live your life in a way that aligns with your higher values. Use your values as a compass and make decisions based on your values. As long as you refine your values and base decisions on them, you can’t be led astray.

    If you value spending time with family, then weigh that up when you’re at a crossroads between going on a lucrative work trip or staying at home with the people you care about. If you value adventure, make decisions that facilitate an adventurous life rather than settling for a comfortable yet vanilla life.

    Refine what is important to you, and make sure the decisions you make on a day-to-day basis revolve around the bigger picture.

    Be conscious about your environment

    The sorts of environments that you spend your time in make a big impact on the overall quality of your life. So to live consciously, you want to assess the environments you spend your time in and the people you spend your time around.

    For example, if you’re in a toxic relationship, or perhaps a living situation that doesn’t serve your highest interest without being aware of it and striving to change it, then you’re not living consciously.

    If you hang around people who are no good for you, whether they are bad influences, energy vampires, or simply just don’t make you feel good, then you need to change it up.

    Maybe you’re living a lifestyle that you just don’t resonate with at all, but you keep doing it because you haven’t considered other possibilities.

    You need to be conscious about where you are in life and what sort of settings you are in because your set and setting do make an impact. So make sure you’re around positive influences who bring you up, not unconscious people who suck you dry.

    Live with intent

    Ultimately, living consciously is to live your life with intentions. When you have intentions about where you want to go, what you want to do, and what you want your life to look like, it gives you a sense of direction.

    So really think about what you want out of life, and where these desires come from. Hold your intentions close and use them to pave the path forward, knowing that there’s a reason why you’re doing what you’re doing.

    If you’re in a relationship, think about your intentions for that relationship. Can you see a future with that person? Do you want to start a family with them?

    Think about your intentions for your career moving forward. Do you see yourself climbing the ladder, or changing it up? Do you intend to buy land and have a nice place, or are you looking to have an adventurous life and perhaps live in a different country?

    As you can see, it’s important to know what you want with life, as a way to know where you’re heading. As I’ve always been told, live with intentions but not expectations.

  • Strong Work Ethics: The Cornerstone Of A Successful Life

    Strong Work Ethics: The Cornerstone Of A Successful Life

    Do you think you don’t need to put work into your relationship, your avocations, your practices? Do you think you’ll just heal and be the best version of yourself without putting in the hard yards?

    Everything rewarding in life takes work, in some form or another. By developing a strong work ethic, you’re going to do a lot more in all areas of your life, which leads to more skills, abilities, and competence.

    Here’s why.

    Why are strong work ethics important?

    Strong work ethic

    Most people associate work ethics with the amount of work you put into your job, but there’s much more to it. Although your job is one setting where work is necessary, everything in life requires work.

    Your avocations won’t create themselves. That book won’t write itself. Your social skills won’t develop themselves. In this sense, your work ethic involves how much effort you put into anything you do, from working on your relationship to climbing the corporate ladder.

    This is the angle you should approach work ethic:

    Labor is currency. Effort translates into skills, abilities, knowledge, and wisdom that can serve any endeavor in your life. Your life is a product of your work ethic because any milestone requires work in one form or another to get there.

    Someone with a strong work ethic applies himself and gives a duty of care to everything he does. He will leverage his knowledge and skills to become more efficient, more effective, and less dispensable. If you want to be good at anything in life, effort is required to become good.

    As with anything in life, the result you’re looking for fruits from the quality and quantity of work you put into it. You can have all the knowledge in the world, but it won’t amount to anything unless you incorporate that knowledge into your work.

    Your energy is an investment

    To develop a strong work ethic you need to see the value in working hard for what you want. Whatever you’re working towards needs to be a worthy trade-off in your eyes, otherwise, you won’t put in the effort.

    All the effort you expend comes back to you in some form. If you devote a lot of time to studies, the energy you expend transmutes into knowledge. If you exert energy into strengthening a relationship, the work put in results in a healthier and more fulfilling connection.

    I would still have a stagnant dating life if I never put the effort into learning how to date. I would still be depressed if I never put the work into healing myself. I would have never backpacked the world if I didn’t work on my insecurities.

    Trading time for material gain may not always weigh up. However, if you think about what you can learn through your work or the skills you can develop, there is always a tradeoff. Instead of expecting an instant trade-off, see what intrinsic qualities you can gain by adopting a growth mindset. 

    At the end of the day, it all comes back to you.

    You can keep blaming the world for your life, but nothing’s going to change if you don’t put in the work to change it. So perhaps it’s time to look at the root cause of why you’re not living the life you want to live, and working on it.

    Strong work ethic characteristics

    Let’s look at some common characteristics of people who have a strong work ethic. The following characteristics will aid your work ethic, and help you propel forward with everything you do.

    • Responsibility. Be accountable for everything that happens in your life.
    • Discipline. Stick with your goals and avocations.
    • Taking initiative. Don’t just follow what other people do. Actively look for new ways to learn, improve, and develop yourself.
    • Consistency. Keep chipping away at what you’re trying to achieve.
    • Willingness to grow. Always look for new opportunities to grow as a person and develop your skillsets. There’s essentially an infinite amount of information out there that you can access, so start using it.
    • Perseverance. Things will get difficult at times. Push yourself and put your all into it.
    • Professionalism. Hold your work to a standard of care, and do it properly.
    • Adaptability. Be creative and find ways around the obstacles you’re confronted with.
    • Capability. Make yourself as capable as you can.
    • Efficiency. Find ways to do things quicker, better, and with less effort.
    • Attention to detail. You need to pay attention to all the bits and pieces, and all the moving parts.

    Developing strong work ethics

    The work ethic of a bee

    If you want to achieve a particular goal, job, or lifestyle, you first need to gain the skills necessary to pursue it. Instead of complaining about how you’re trapped, utilize your resources to become as competent as you can be.

    If you have no passion, motivation, or excitement for something, naturally, you are not going to exert much energy into it. This translates into a poor work ethic and means you won’t become more competent in that arena, or grow as much through the process.

    You can’t expect to get the best job in a field without becoming the best potential candidate. We live in a proactive society that rewards hard work and initiative, yet so many people fall victim to the mentality of scraping by.

    With a poor work ethic, many people aim to achieve nothing for their personal development. These are usually the people you see stuck in the same jobs year after year because they aren’t putting in any work to advance their lives.

    Define your values

    If you want to do something well, you need to have some sort of passion for it.

    You’re probably not going to put all your energy into something that doesn’t bring you joy, or excitement, so this is where refining your values is important.

    Are you just doing it for the money or perhaps some form of temporary satisfaction, or are you seeking something deeper? Dig into why you’re doing what you’re doing, and what’s your motivation behind it.

    If you think about how you want to provide for your family, create a new lifestyle, your own fulfilling business that helps other people, or perhaps travel the world where some savings are a gateway to do that, this motivation is going to fuel you to work harder.

    Therefore, keep the deeper reasoning in your mind. If you don’t have any, you should probably ask yourself why you’re doing it in the first place.

    Set goals

    Goals help you stay on track. Without them, everything tends to fall apart. Therefore, it’s good to have goals to help you get to the finish line. Before you create goals, whether you’re with your job, relationship, avocations, or personal development aspirations in general, here are some things to consider.

    They need to be realistic. You need to make your goals realistic and achievable, like you’re climbing a staircase, not taking the magical elevator.

    They need to be time-sensitive. You should space out your goals with appropriate time to ensure you can complete them.

    You need to stick to them. If you don’t follow through with your goals, your staircase for development is going to break away.

    Build upon your skillsets

    Having a plethora of skills gives you a big advantage in life, and the route to developing new skills is to practice them. Luckily, there are always new skills you can acquire, regardless of what you’re doing. You just need to think about how you can leverage your current situation to learn them.

    If you work in sales, build on skills like conversation, building rapport, influencing, and being charismatic. If you work in customer service, build your skills in conversation, social etiquette, and business management.

    Get creative and seek out new and better ways of doing things. Understand that you can achieve anything you want by building up the relevant skill sets to succeed.

    Build your knowledge base

    Work ethic is just half the equation. You need knowledge to work with. The more you have, the better your work becomes.

    Therefore, you should actively seek out knowledge.

    I recommend taking courses, watching videos, and reading up on the topic. Go to workshops and participate in events that can help hone your skills and abilities.

    Even if you are doing something that you don’t enjoy, pick out aspects that you do like. Associate a strong work ethic with growth and capability, and there is no limit to how much you can learn from it.

    Assume responsibility

    Back in the day I generally performed poorly for several reasons. One of those reasons was because I didn’t help others out and just stayed within the confines of my job role.

    As my work ethic got better over time, I started expanding out from my roles taking on more responsibilities.

    When I was working as a bartender in the United States, even though I focused on that particular role, I took responsibility for the entire venue. I also worked as a barista, a server, and a host, took stock, helped the kitchen, and did things that were not my duties.

    As I could do the jobs of 3 or 4 people, it helped me thrive in that workplace, build connections, and become a much stronger employee.

    So don’t just stay in the confines of your role. Assume more responsibility, and you will grow within that role very quickly.

    Seek feedback

    People are generally happy to give you advice or feedback, so take advantage of it. People are great resources to learn and grow, so if you want to develop a strong work ethic, seek feedback when you can.

    Ask your coworkers or boss how you can improve, or what you can do to help out more. If you’re noticing a decline in your romantic relationship, ask your partner what you can do to improve it.

    Look for people who have been in the game for longer and seek advice for your avocations. Maybe you want to get better at guitar, become a better writer, or be a more efficient business owner. Ask people who have more experience than you and learn from them.

    Soak up all that valuable feedback from people who know more than you, and you’ll be on your best game before you know it.

    Stop procrastinating

    How often do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, and wondering why you’re doing it in the first place?

    Looking at other people who pretend to have their lives together doesn’t provide much satisfaction, but if you’re like most of us, you continuously find yourself reaching for your phone and entering the addictive cycle of hell.

    Just imagine if you put that time into something meaningful.

    If you want to cultivate a strong work ethic, start being conscious of the time you put into things that don’t serve you. Sure, a little bit here and there to break up the time is okay, but it’s a problem when it becomes a compulsion.

    Focus your energy on things that provide a deeper sense of fulfillment. Put it into things that you can go to bed happy thinking ‘I did something good for myself today’.

  • How To Be Happier With Yourself, Not Your Circumstances

    How To Be Happier With Yourself, Not Your Circumstances

    Happiness is something we’re all looking for, but at the same time, it’s something that can be hard to find. We tend to base our satisfaction on our achievements, but let’s be real. Most of us haven’t achieved as much as we would like by now.

    Here’s the thing.

    We’re searching for something to feel complete. We believe that once we attain that last missing piece, whether it be a higher-paying job, a partner, a family, or a particular lifestyle, everything’s just going to be picture-perfect.

    Although striving to achieve goals in your life is an important step towards happiness, there’s a whole lot more to it than just getting what you want. Genuine fulfillment is more than just the off-firing of certain chemicals in your brain. You always have everything you need to be happy, so what’s missing here?

    In this article, we’re going to explore a more holistic approach towards happiness. After you read this article, you’re going to have better approaches to finding genuine fulfillment, regardless of what condition your life is in.

    The holistic approach to happiness

    Joy

    Growing up, there was seldom a moment where I was satisfied with who I was. I never felt like I was good enough because I was so critical about myself.

    I wanted the lives that other people had, but I didn’t know how to get there myself. This distancing between me and my peers turned into a fear of falling behind. But it wasn’t all bad because this fear drove me to grow as a person, which is exactly what I needed.

    I found that my sense of happiness was connected to my inner growth. Many years on the personal growth journey led me to travel the world for many years on end. Changing my lifestyle and doing interesting things was the cherry on top. And because of this, the quality of my life skyrocketed.

    There have been some monumental shifts in how content I feel, and I know it’s not dependent on my life situation anymore. I know because just recently my life came tumbling down. At the time of writing this, I’m a grown man with no money, no car, living with my mom, and working at a restaurant.

    Regressing into a situation that I’ve outgrown was always my biggest phobia. Now that I’m living my worst fear (once upon a time), I’m glad to say that I still feel good. I know this situation won’t last forever, but I’m not desperate to get out of it either.

    I appreciate that I have a place to stay and that I’m able to work. The struggles are numbed in comparison, and I’m able to enjoy what life is giving me right now.

    This tells me something big, at least for me. It doesn’t matter what my situation is like, I can find peace in it. Now I want to share some important insights from my life so that if you end up in a shitty situation one day, you still feel happy.

    Is your happiness based on your situation?

    There’s a big difference between genuine happiness and situational happiness. You might generally be happy and feel like life is going well. But do you only feel content because things are going well?

    If this is the case, your happiness is built on a poor foundation because the situation you’re in is a crutch. If things go to shit in your life, you’re not going to be able to maintain that sense of composure, which tells you something.

    You don’t know if you’re going to break up with your partner. You don’t know whether you will lose your job. Suddenly the conditions in your life that made you feel happy are gone, and what happens to you?

    That’s why you need to build yourself up from a strong foundation. True happiness is independent of your life situation.

    What is happiness?

    Poor Vietnamese family eating dinner on the floor and laughing together

    Nobody can really answer this question, but I can tell you what happiness isn’t.

    Like success, happiness isn’t a life situation. If you believe that happiness is to have something you want, then you’re missing the picture. Happiness isn’t the kick of dopamine or serotonin from achieving milestones and being successful. Happiness is an intrinsic condition, one that needs to be cultivated.

    There are a lot of different perspectives on happiness, but generally, I view happiness as a state of consciousness. Happiness is a manifestation of high vibrational energy, where you’re abundant in emotions such as love, joy, compassion, and gratitude.

    How to be happier with yourself

    Woman smiling at herself in the mirror

    Okay, let’s face it. You’re not exactly where you want to be in life. There’s this creeping sense of desperation as time passes by and you’re still yet to hit your goals.

    So you feel like a failure, which makes you more desperate to get somewhere, to be someone. But you are where you are, and there’s a good reason for it. As long as you’re comparing yourself to this image of who you should be, of course, you’re not going to be living up to it.

    Besides being an unrealistic, glorified image, you’re human. Things take time. Life is a learning curve. Not to say that you won’t achieve your vision, but you have to accept where you currently are in the process.

    To accept where you currently are in life, you need to treat your life as a work in progress. Remember, as soon as you cross that finish line you’re not going to drop everything and spend the rest of your life celebrating. Suddenly the bar will have moved, and there will be something else you need to feel fulfilled.

    So understand that your goals, your avocations, and everything that you want is transitory. As long as you treat every day as getting one step closer to your dreams, you’re moving in the right direction and that’s what’s important. So enjoy the process.

    Let go of the outcome

    You’re pouring sweat, blood, and tears into your dreams, but they’re barely fruiting, if at all. So you get anxious. That internal chatter gets louder.

    I’ve got to succeed, I’ve got to succeed, I’ve got to succeed!

    Suddenly succeeding in your goals feels like life or death, and the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders. But you’ve turned this desire to succeed into a monster, and you’re wondering why it’s eating you alive.

    Breathe. Relax. Realize that it’s okay. You’ve pulled this drive for success out of proportion, and it’s not as big of a deal as you make it out to be. I’m not saying to give up, not at all. But don’t put so much attention on the outcome.

    To be happier with yourself, you need to be present with the journey. After all, that’s what it’s about. Prioritize the journey over the destination, and be present with the process.

    Besides, even if you end up throwing it all in, the lessons you’ve gained throughout this process are priceless and will give you a huge head start for the next venture you embark on.

    Go with the flow, dude

    If there’s one thing that makes you unhappy, it’s trying to have control over situations that are out of your control. I’m not trying to be a stone-cold hippy here but go with the flow, dude.

    When you try to change something that’s out of your control, you’re going to create a lot of stress. It’s like you’re putting all of your energy into pushing a sliding door. The result? Stupid.

    Part of what helps me be happier with myself when I feel this way is to have trust. Trust that things are exactly how they are meant to be, otherwise, they wouldn’t be happening at all. At least that’s what I believe, and that belief serves me well because I try my best, then jump to acceptance, knowing that whatever happens is in my best interest.

    Do what you can that’s within your control to change your life situation but accept what you can’t. Let go of these expectations that you should be doing better at this stage of your life, and focus on the little things you can do to be happier with yourself now.

    It’s okay to be a little selfish

    If you’re living a life that other people want you to live, do I need to explain why you’re not happy? Let’s take a journey back to Life101.

    Your whole life you’ve been told to live a certain way by your parents, your peers, school, our culture, and society. When your life becomes the product of other people’s desires, it’s no wonder why you feel flat. That’s because you’re looking at happiness through other people’s eyes instead of listening to your own calling.

    I would 100% rather be broke and live a full, adventurous life than live a life that other people approve of, but doesn’t resonate with me. You need to ask yourself, are you doing what’s in your best interest? Or their best interest?

    But how can you know? Well, I base my life trajectory on my values. I value adventure over stability. Growth over comfort. So I base my life around my highest values, and they’re done well at making me feel fulfilled, even if I don’t have anything to show.

    You’re the only person who knows what’s best for you, and what will make you happier with yourself. So follow your values, not other people’s.

    The grass isn’t always greener

    Let’s face it. There’s always someone doing better than you. There’s always someone more attractive, smarter, more interesting, wealthier, you name it. The goose-chase of being the best is always going to lead to disappointment.

    When you compare yourself to people who are seemingly better off than you, you start feeling like you’re lacking something. It’s something we all do, but what if you took the road less walked?

    Focus on your own life journey. Focus on where you’re at now, and what’s within your control. You should have laser focus on your own life story, and forget about what other people are doing.

    Stop comparing yourself to other people, or judging yourself for not being where they are in life. There are probably plenty of things about you that they wish they had if they had the opportunity to meet you.

    Focus on the things you do have

    A big part of your dissatisfaction derives from focusing on what you lack. Believe me when I say, there will always be something that you lack if you’re coming from this angle.

    Having some desire is good, but need does not serve you. Focusing on what you do have instead of what you don’t have is a much better approach to feeling good about yourself.

    Looking at your life from a cup-half-full perspective leads to one important word: Gratitude.

    If you focus on being grateful for everything that you do have, you’re going to feel a whole lot more fulfilled. When you think about it, you chase that feeling of abundance by accumulating more. But gratitude is an internal condition. You don’t need anything to be grateful besides yourself.

    Therefore, to be happier with yourself, focus on the things you do have, and appreciate them. Even simple things like having a full stomach and a roof over your head are usually taken for granted.

    What do you need to appreciate more?

    You’re bigger than the things you do

    Having a sense of purpose is a great propeller. After all, it motivates you to work towards what you love, and that motivation will drive you to accomplish more.

    That’s why it’s important to go after the things you want, but it’s the mission that makes you feel good. Working towards something bigger makes you feel good. Being at service makes you feel good.

    So focus on the feeling of trying. If you succeed, great! That’s a bonus. If you don’t, you just aren’t there yet. Maybe it will take another year or two. Maybe it will take 10. Maybe it will take your whole life to achieve the mission you’re on, but as long as you have that drive, failure does not exist within the framework, because failure suggests there’s an end.

    When you take your learning curve into your own hands, it’s satisfying. Especially when you’ve developed a mindset that your life is your own creation. Even if it’s falling apart right now, what’s stopping you from rebuilding better? Time is on your side my friend, so make use of it.

    What really activates that spark in you? How can you mold your knowledge and experience into something that you’re truly passionate about? Have an overarching mission in your life, and you’ll feel much more fulfilled, even if it never comes to fruition.

    Now that we’ve explored some important points to be happier with yourself and not your situation, let’s move to the next lesson. If you really want to live a beautiful, abundant life, you need to open your heart space. In order to do that, click on the link below, and let’s get started!

  • How To Attract Abundance Into Your Life

    We all want to attract abundance into our lives, but sometimes it feels like an uphill battle… during a hurricane, in your underwear.

    After all, abundance is the shiny ticket to the good life, right? That’s why people construct empires to have everything they desire and more. But wait… Do you view abundance as an external condition? Do you solely associate it with wealth and finances?

    Let me ask you a question.

    Are you abundant if you have all the money in the world but are also miserable and lonely? On the same train, if you could have any partner you desire, but were unable to create a meaningful and loving connection with any of them, are you still abundant?

    There are two sides to this equation. It’s nice to have your material needs met, but they mean nothing unless they’re backed up with genuine fulfillment. This is something so many of us overlook when we try to attract abundance into our lives, and there’s a metaphysical component to abundance too.

    There are more dimensions to abundance than solely the material, and if you only think about the material aspect of abundance then you’re on the wrong path. If you want to attract abundance into your life, you need to also meet it at an emotional and energetic level.

    In truth, abundance is a state of consciousness where you feel like you’re thriving. You don’t need things to feel amazing, so perhaps we’re thinking about abundance inside out. So let’s explore what it means to attract more abundance into your life, and how you can do it.

    What does it mean to attract abundance?

    Highest timeline

    Abundance refers to the fruitfulness of your life situation, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. Look at abundance as a state of consciousness that magnetizes positive things into your life, providing a sense of ampleness. It’s an expansive, high-vibrational energy where you feel like your cup is overflowing.

    Imagine abundance as a spectrum. On one side of this spectrum is scarcity. We tend to associate scarcity with not meeting our material needs, which too is a part of it.

    However, people can be emotionally scarce because they are poor in feelings of gratitude, love, and joy. People can be mentally scarce by harboring detrimental mindsets such as the poverty mindset, or the victim mentality. Likewise, people can also be spiritually scarce by lacking meaning, service, and deeper fulfillment. Without meaning, abundance can seem a little empty.

    On the other side of this spectrum is abundance. Like scarcity, there are different dimensions of abundance. This is why it’s important not to view abundance simply as a material condition but as a collection of experiences that affect every level of your consciousness.

    It’s a shallow view to perceive abundance as financial success. There is so much missing from the equation here. Think of abundance as a magnet. It’s a high energetic vibration that manifests situations corresponding with this energy. If you embody a high vibrational state of consciousness, you’ll attract more abundance into your life in all forms.

    Think of it this way.

    If you have a full cup, you will attract more good things into your life. After all, reality is a mirror. It attracts more of what you’re experiencing which is the foundation of the law of attraction.

    If you’re genuinely resonating at a high vibration, you will tap into the energy of abundance. Since you feel the energy of abundance, it will manifest conditions that that abundant.

    The connection between abundance and healing

    Diagram representing the upward spiral of manifestation, abundance, and high vibrational states

    Healing is the road to experiencing more high vibrational states. Imagine that trauma, open wounds, and pain are like thick blankets that weigh you down. Someone who is wounded is unable to experience these very high vibrational states until they remove these blankets.

    You have to mop out the dense energy that’s rotting you inside out before your vibration steadies into high vibrational states. Once you’ve cleaned out all your trauma and the core is healthy, the outside reality is going to reflect this internal condition.

    Notice that life keeps hitting you when you’re stuck in a negative spiral? Negative coincidence after coincidence will occur and it just won’t give you a break. Have you ever felt like this? Well, it’s quite a universal experience, because it’s real. There’s a reason why the universe kicks you while you’re down.

    When you’re in low vibrational states of consciousness, you become a magnet for low vibrational experiences. Manifestation isn’t a one-way street, it’s a double-edged sword. When you’re suffering, you tend to attract more suffering. Metaphysically speaking, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. May not seem fair, but it’s how consciousness works.

    On the other hand, perhaps something big happens in your life. You get a great new job opportunity, you have a nourishing experience, or maybe you fall in love. You feel great, then notice more good things coming into your life.

    Is it just because you’re just noticing the good things, or because you’re attracting them? It’s both.

    You are noticing all the wholeness that life provides because you feel abundant, and because you step into that frame of abundance, more good things start happening as your external condition matches your internal condition.

    This is why healing is an important component of raising your vibration and attuning to the energy of abundance. Healing yourself is the first step toward abundance, because being healed allows you to reach a high-vibrational state, which the rest snowballs from.

    How to attract abundance from the universe

    Children seeing through a lens of humor

    Attracting abundance starts by making adjustments on all levels of your consciousness, and calibrating all of these levels to abundance:

    • Your physical body (material condition)
    • Your mental body (thoughts and mindsets)
    • Your emotional body (Feelings)
    • Your spiritual body (meaning and purpose)

    If you’re lacking in one area, it’s going to let down the team. To truly be abundant, you need to think abundantly, feel abundant, and radiate abundance. Remember, many people have a lot of wealth, but they’re not truly abundant because they’re not happy.

    Don’t fall into this trap. You want the whole package. Let’s look at some shifts you need to make before you can attract abundance into your life.

    1. Hold a vision of abundance

    You need to hold a vision of abundance to attract it into your life. Your vision of abundance is like your anchor. It’s what gives you direction. How do you picture your life if you are truly abundant? What do you feel? What do you think? What does your material condition look like?

    You need to have a vision of something that fulfills you. Think about it. What’s more important than stuff? What feelings would make you feel like you’re winning life? This is what you should be aiming towards. Feelings. Attitudes. Vibrations. If your biggest goals revolve around financial gain, then you’re missing crucial dimensions of abundance.

    2. Realize that you are abundance

    Don’t look at abundance as something separate from you. You are always surrounded by abundance. You need to realize that there is no separation to experience it more fully. A major shift will occur when you embody the notion that life is infinite.

    How many cells are you made from, and that are constantly being produced? How many stars is your planet surrounded by? How many plants and animals can you see on any given day? How much variety of food, entertainment, and emotional states do you have access to? View abundance as a property of the universe rather than something you need to attain, and you’ll begin stepping into it.

    3. Believe that you can attract abundance

    Your beliefs are forms of energy. Therefore, if you don’t believe that you can attract abundance into your life, you’re likely to push it away. This is something I struggled with for a long time, believing I would never be successful which created a barrier to success.

    Part of attracting abundance is believing that you can attract abundance. You must hold beliefs and attitudes that are high vibrational and resonate at a level of abundance. However, these beliefs must be genuine. Therefore, if you have negative beliefs about money or achieving your dreams, you need to work on shifting them.

    4. Allow yourself to receive

    A component of tapping into abundance is to allow yourself to receive it. Whether you receive what the universe hands you or not is an important signal because abundance comes in all forms. To attract abundance into your life, you need to learn to receive it. The more you allow into your life, the more it will start flowing in, in all its myriad forms.

    Maybe an opportunity arises that you instinctively shoot down. Perhaps someone enters your life who can help you, and you unconsciously push them away. If you regularly push away things that are coming into your life, whether they’re opportunities, education, gifts, or assistance, then you’re essentially pushing away abundance. Show the universe that you are open and willing, and encourage the energy of abundance to seep into your reality.

    5. Appreciate everything you have

    As long as you constantly chase your tail for the next best thing, you aren’t appreciating what you have. If you aren’t appreciating what you have, you’re in a frame of scarcity. You have everything you need to be happy, you just don’t realize it because you’re caught in this frame of need.

    Do you have a full stomach? Do you have shelter? Are you warm? There are many people without these naked essentials who are still content with their lives! So what’s the problem here? The problem is that you’re not appreciating what you have because you take it for granted.

    Therefore, learn to appreciate all the things that you do take for granted. The vibration of gratitude is powerful, and this vibration will help you attract more abundance into your life.

    6. Put it all into perspective

    When you feel that you are lacking, sometimes it helps to put it into perspective. Despite what struggles you’re facing, I can guarantee you that some people would die to trade positions with you. It’s easy to get caught in self-loathing and the drama of everyday life. But compared to what many people in the world are experiencing, I would say you have it pretty damn lucky. Recognize that you have it pretty cushy, and be humble. Sometimes you just need to step back and acknowledge how good you have it.

    7. Talk your life up, not down

    Sometimes, you’ll get knocked down, but don’t let yourself get caught in the self-perpetuating negative spirals. It’s important to recognize when you’re going into a negative spiral so you can correct it and realign yourself.

    Therefore, every time you feel down, discouraged, or defeated, give yourself time to process it. Release the painful energies and realign yourself with your higher self. Catch those painful spirals before you get caught in them, and turn that ship around.

    8. Be happy for other people’s success

    People who feel abundant want others to win too. That’s because the idea that there is not enough pie to go around – leading to ruthless competition, stems from the poverty mindset. You won’t feel whole if you believe there has to be a loser.

    Jealousy is a block to abundance because you’re separating yourself from abundance. But is there a way you can feel happy for that person? It may take some work to heal the root cause, but when you genuinely feel good for other people’s success, you’re creating the right conditions to attract abundance.

    9. Let your good feelings spill over

    Gratitude is a big part of abundance. You simply can’t feel abundant if you don’t feel grateful. Now that you’re cultivating better feelings, actions, and attitudes in your life by experiencing more gratitude and appreciation, let your cup overflow. Genuinely wanting to help others and do good in their lives signals the universe that you’re in a position to give.

    Of course, the act of giving comes from a frame of abundance, as it signals that you have plenty to share. Therefore, give as much as you can in the form of love, help, and assistance. Try to bring as much healing and joy into other people’s lives as you can. Don’t worry, you won’t deplete yourself, rather it will have the opposite effect.

    10. Detach from the result

    Attachment to the result is a double-edged sword. In one way, you want some attachment because it motivates you. On the other hand, too much attachment creates need. Need isn’t a pleasant feeling because it comes from a state of lack. Being overattached to the outcome causes desperation which is a polar opposite energy to abundance.

    Hold your goals close and aim to achieve them. Feel good about them and be excited to move towards them, but don’t get the idea in your head that it becomes more important than everything else. Sitting around and just trying to manifest everything isn’t going to work either. You need to put in the work. You need to take action to build your life into something that you’re proud of.

    Attract abundance into your life

    Self-integration

    In this article, we’ve explored the metaphysics behind abundance, and what abundance is – an energy. Now you know that instead of chasing your tail and looking to acquire material abundance without any substance, you can search for abundance in a more fulfilling way.

    As your external reality matches your internal reality, it’s always best to start inside out and focus on feeling abundance before seeing abundance. With this approach, you can continue working on yourself, healing, and raising your vibration until you reach a point where abundance flows into your life, in every dimension.

    With that said, all the best along your journey of attracting abundance, and keep your eyes on the prize!

  • 8 Tips To Become More Grounded And Find Your Center

    8 Tips To Become More Grounded And Find Your Center

    In an age where everything moves with a sense of urgency, it has become more important than ever to ground yourself. This is to remain mentally and emotionally composed, regardless of what happens around you.

    One thing many of us are lacking these days is balance (or steadiness). In other words, we need equanimity more than ever, otherwise, we get lost in a haywire of ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. In other words, we lack any real foundation and forget what truly matters.

    Luckily, there are many helpful practices to get out of your head and into your body. That’s exactly what we’re going to look at here: Why it’s so important to be grounded, and how to do it.

    Why groundedness is helpful

    Person meditating in nature

    Think of grounding as getting into your body when you’re trapped in your head. The more grounded you are, the more present and connected to your body you feel.

    Grounded: Being deeply connected to the physical world
    Ungrounded: Being deeply connected to the mental or ethereal at the expense of the physical

    There’s so much happening in our lives all the time, that it’s easy to get swept away by it all. We’re all trying to figure life out and feel stressed sometimes. Social media constantly lures our attention while we get caught up in thinking, postulating, planning, and doing.

    In our world, there are a lot of things that stimulate the mind, and at times it can all be a little much.

    When the realm of mind occupies us all the time, we can feel stressed. We can become anxious, overwhelmed, or burnout. The mind can be a tormenting place, and the only thing you can do to navigate these challenges is bring it back to the now…

    To your breath. To the sights and smells. To the sensations you’re feeling.

    As a nomadic traveler, learning to ground myself has been a pillar of my well-being because nothing in my life is stable. I could spend my entire life thinking about where it may lead me, or what I must do next.

    But that’s the best way to miss the whole thing.

    Learning how to ground myself when everything feels a little intense allows me to return to Earth and realize that everything is fine.

    Now, I don’t get swept away in coulds, woulds, and shoulds. I don’t excessively worry or panic. I deal with the situation at hand practically and avoid thinking about what could be.

    Instead of thinking that you’re above it all, groundedness is the embodiment that you’re a strange, messy, irrational creature, and there’s nothing at all wrong with that.

    Why you need to be grounded in reality

    Noways, when the lines are being blurred because of what is objectively true and what isn’t, we need to be rational and consider possibilities.

    If there’s one thing I see now more than ever, it’s people getting carried away with theories, ideas, and ideologies. It seems that less people are taking the middle ground, and as a result, we’re losing ourselves in a world of conflicting information.

    Let’s face it, a lot is happening in the world. Many theories may be true, and many things could be. Of course, it’s important to keep an open-mind, but to also have some unbiased discernment.

    The world isn’t falling apart right beneath your feet. You still have food, water, and shelter. I’m not suggesting to stick your head in the sand, but it’s just as important not to get too carried away with what could be.

    Concern yourself with the tangible objective reality you’re dealing with right now rather than ideas and concepts that haven’t actualized yet. We can speculate that many things will happen, but if we become too disconnected from the now, then we can end up making some bad life choices.

    Learning how to be factual and as unbiased as possible even though you have personal beliefs is critical. When you can’t divide a belief from reality, your world will turn upside down.

    Therefore, acknowledge everything you hear but take it with a grain of salt. Speak from your perspective, rather than an objective standpoint: ‘I believe we’re inching towards World War Three’ rather than perceiving it as an objective reality.

    Common traits of grounded people

    Here are common traits of grounded people, and reasons why cultivating groundedness will improve the quality of your life.

    • Centered: People who are grounded are not easily shaken from their course. They can keep a level head in most situations and don’t stress about the little things.
    • Focused: Someone who is grounded isn’t easily distracted or caught off guard. They have a single point of focus rather than being scatterbrained.
    • Emotionally stable: People who are grounded tend to be more emotionally stable. They have a grip on their emotions.
    • Rational: People who are grounded tend to be rational. This means they’re generally realistic, as they’re more concerned about what needs to happen to move forward.
    • Calm: When people are grounded, they are generally quite calm. This means they’re not as likely to get triggered or agitated. Things that are seen as a big deal to some people aren’t so much to them.
    • Mindful: Someone who is grounded is generally present. This means they don’t spend much time dwelling on the past or future and aren’t too concerned with hypotheticals.
    • Embodied: Someone who is grounded is more connected to their physical body and attentive to what it’s telling them.

    What happens when you’re not grounded?

    Person trying to cope with severe emotional pain

    Being ungrounded means you’re disconnected from reality. I’m sure you’ve had moments where you’ve been somewhat detached from the reality of the situation, whether you’re disassociating from a painful outcome, or smearing it with a facade of positivity.

    This often leads to a cluttered mind, stress, worry, overwhelm, and panic. People who aren’t grounded tend to make irrational decisions and poor choices because they’re not present with the situation at hand. With that said, emotional instability and incessant thinking happen when you’re not grounded.

    As groundedness is to keep a cool head in difficult situations, it’s often the other way around when people aren’t. Ungrounded people are more affected by trivial matters such as what other people think of them, or how much money they make.

    Ungrounded people are:

    • Disconnected from reality
    • Mentally scattered
    • Overstimulated
    • Flustered or overwhelmed
    • Stressed over trivial matters
    • Unfocused
    • Disassociated
    • Exhausted
    • Burnt out 

    Why you’re ungrounded

    • You’re overstimulating yourself
    • You’re juggling too many things at the same times
    • You’re not emotionally stable
    • You spend too much time consuming media
    • You spend too much time on social media
    • Your values are superficial
    • You’re cooped up in the same environments
    • You don’t take enough time for relaxation
    • You excessively think
    • You put too much energy into hypotheticals
    • You tend to run away form your issues
    • You’re not being your authentic self

    How to become more grounded

    Being grounded artwork

    When you’re getting caught in your head, bring it back to what you have right now. Slowly reel in your mind by focusing on what’s tangible and immediate.

    Do you have fresh water? check.

    Do you have food? Check.

    Do you have shelter? Warmth? Companionship?

    Identifying your current needs brings clarity, and helps you make sense of what you need. Mindfulness is the key here.

    You can practice mindfulness any time, with any activity. Next time you’re eating food, savor it. If you’re having a coffee, allow yourself to sit there and enjoy the moment.

    The more you build the practice of being mindful in any given situation, the more grounded you will become.

    Spend more time in nature

    There’s a reason why people feel calm when they’re in nature because nature is very grounding. Therefore, the more time you spend in nature, the more grounded you will generally feel.

    If you’re caught in your head, I suggest making a habit of getting out to nature daily. The more wild and untamed it is, the better.

    If you can’t get out into the wilderness, go for walks in parks and local nature reserves as much as you can. Try new outdoor activities like hiking, camping, or swimming in rivers or the ocean.

    There are many ways you can connect with nature, and it’s one of the most grounding things you can do. If you don’t have access to much nature, buy some plants for your home so you always have something.

    Do more physical exercise

    Exercise is great for bringing you into a present space by focusing on the rhythm of your body.

    When you exercise, focus on your breath and bring your awareness deeper into your body. Be completely present with the activity and dedicate all of yourself to it. This is often why people find exercise therapeutic because it brings people out of their heads.

    It doesn’t matter what the exercise is.

    Go for jogs in nature. Try playing sports with some friends. Perhaps go for regular swims within the area. If you don’t have access to sports clubs or places to swim, join a gym. Look for activities that you enjoy, but also force you out of your mental space. 

    Get creative

    Creative activities allow you to become more present.

    Whether it’s jamming with an instrument, dancing, or writing, getting into the flow is grounding because that flow state is present. You’re not thinking about your life when you’re creating, you’re not wondering about possibilities.

    For the most part, you’re eloped in the activity.

    You’ll also find that practices like meditation and yoga are particularly calming. If you meditate enough, you will generally feel more calm in your day to day life, and it will be easier to manage your mental space.

    Get off social media!

    Social media has the opposite effect of grounding because it stimulates your mind.

    Rule of thumb, you want to steer clear of things that mentally stimulate you, and pivot towards activities that bring you into your body. This is why social media isn’t your friend when you’re caught in your head – because it exacerbates it.

    Social media is designed to capture your attention, and the algorithms do a damn good job of it. Instead, think about what you can do within the physical space.

    Occupy your time with other physical activities. Designate certain periods of the day to use social media, and refrain from jumping on when you’re outside of those time slots.

    Focus on your breath

    When you get caught up in your head, turn to your breath. Your breath is something you can always utilize. I didn’t realize how powerful breathwork could be until I met a breathwork teacher in South America and started going to his workshops.

    But you don’t need to know any fancy breathing techniques to ground yourself. You just need to be conscious about it.

    Therefore, focus on each inhale and exhale methodically. Visualize the air rejuvenating every part of your body, and feeling your muscles loosen and relax with each breath.

    The easier it will be to tame your mind when you are conscious about your breathing.

    Let go of what’s outside of your control

    A good friend of mine always feels like she must have control of the situation. This is fine to an extent until she begins to panic when she feels like she’s losing it. The problem is that she always feels like she’s losing control!

    Whether it’s giving a speech, meeting up with someone, or even eating dinner on time, this need for control creates a lot of stress for her. What I’ve noticed is how frantic she gets when something she doesn’t like is outside of her control.

    The fact is you’re never going to have full control. You have control over elements of your life, sure, but you can’t control the world. Therefore, if you only feel comfortable when you have control, you’re going to drum up a lot of stress for yourself.

    This is why it’s better to focus on what is within your control and accept what isn’t. When it’s out of your control, do your best, otherwise let it go.

    Let go of the outcome

    While teaching English in Vietnam, a student of mine was anxious about an upcoming exam, treating it as a life-or-death situation.

    Once he recognized that his stress stemmed from a desire to please his parents, rather than the exam’s outcome, he felt significantly more at ease.

    Why?

    Because he wasn’t stuck in his head anymore. 

    Have you ever thought that your problems are due to your perspective? Look at alternative perspectives towards the source of your stress. Stretch yourself to see it differently, and work on the root cause of this angst.

    Reevaluate what’s important to you

    Your values impact how grounded you are. If you have superficial values such as being seen positively by others, naturally you’re going to move more into your mind by constantly wondering what others are thinking of you.

    On the other hand, if you have deep-rooted, core values such as being there for family, your reality becomes a much more stable place. You know what is important, what provides meaning to your life, and resultingly have an anchor.

    Without real values, you have no anchor. There is no up or down, right or wrong, or meaning. That means you are likely to get lost in the clouds.

    There is a lot out there competing for your attention, but discerning what truly matters determines what you will spend your energy on. 

  • How To Take A Leap Of Faith (And Why You Should)

    Life can feel cruisy while you’re in a routine. You work the same job, see the same people, and do the same things. There’s no doubt that routine is comfortable. We feel secure because we know how everything works.

    Sooner or later, you may feel a sense of unease creeping up. A voice telling you that spending your years caught in routine at the expense of adventure is wasting away your life. Unless you take action to change your life, this is as good as it gets. This voice may begin as a whisper, but over time it slowly gets louder, deafening, and inescapable.

    When you hear this voice, you may deny it at first. You will tell yourself that it’s irrational, that now is not the time. However, sooner or later you will realize that this voice won’t go away. It won’t allow you to evade it, because it’s a part of you. Once you hear this voice, it plants a seed that roots so deeply into your mind, that you have no option but to heed it.

    This voice is telling you to do something out of the ordinary. It’s a deeper intuition shining through, illuminating your discontent with your current life situation. This voice may be telling you to quit your job and follow your dreams. It may be telling you to pursue the love of your life or to leave it all behind to start fresh in a distant culture.

    But any big life change requires a leap of faith. Big life changes aren’t just handed to us. We need to step out of our comfort zones and embrace the possibility of things going wrong. We may feel exposed, vulnerable, and lack direction. This is why people seldom take a leap of faith because it’s daunting.

    Out of fear of things going wrong, many people suppress this voice telling them to take a leap of faith and trust that it will work out. But this is no way to live; growing old without truly living. Living in the familiar is safe, but it gets us nowhere. In my eyes, experiencing challenges, confronting fears, and getting yourself into stressful situations is a fair price to pay to not look back on your life regretting how you wasted it away, and never truly lived. 

    The worst thing you can do is let your life pass you by without pursuing the opportunities that come to you. This is why we’re going to look at how you can take a leap of faith and step out of the familiar trust, to live the life you deserve.

    Why take a leap of faith?

    My first leap of faith, traveling by myself for a year
    At the airport before spending a year traveling South America by myself in 2016. My first big leap of faith that changed the course of my life.

    When I was younger, I couldn’t handle the challenges life was throwing at me. I was unfulfilled because I wasn’t even close to the life I wanted to live, yet I was too afraid to pursue my dreams because, at the time, I thought I wasn’t capable of achieving the things I wanted.

    Long story short, I went through an awakening process and saw life with brand-new eyes. Now I had a decision to make; I could continue living the same stagnant life which was familiar but painful, or take a leap of faith and step into the unknown.

    It was daunting, but I knew that if I wanted to create a major change in my life, I had to take a leap of faith. So I moved to Brazil and spent a year backpacking South America. During this trip, I fulfilled so many needs that were previously unmet such as living an adventurous life, making great friends, and finally having a good dating life.

    I could have stayed in Australia which provided stability and security, but spending my life in the same set and setting was scarier than facing the fear and taking a leap of faith.

    Instead of following the beaten track, I followed my heart. I moved to Vietnam to teach English and pursued a nomadic lifestyle. It has now been 8 years traveling the world, working various jobs, and constantly embarking on new adventures.

    If I never made the leap, my life would have taken a very different direction. That’s the thing… It’s easy to get complacent. It’s easy to stay in the same situations which may be comfortable, yet unfulfilling.

    Living in a shamanic medicine community, Peru, 2024
    Living in a shamanic medicine community in Peru, 2024, 8 years after I began traveling

    Take a leap of faith meaning

    Taking a leap of faith implies stepping into the unknown, often to pursue a new opportunity. It’s called a leap of faith because the outcome is uncertain and a risk is involved, but you have faith that this new life venture will work out, which is why you embark on it.

    It’s important to take a leap of faith sometimes because life tends to stay the same if you don’t. I always suggest taking a leap of faith if a potentially great opportunity arises, but there are a few things I want to talk about here.

    You need to follow your heart.

    Don’t leap unless it’s in the right direction. If you’re pursuing an opportunity that may not be in your highest interest, you may stumble and regret it. Big decisions in your life should be met with your heart. It should be something you truly want to do because if your heart isn’t in it, it’s less likely to work out for you.

    Be calculated.

    Although you want to follow your heart, don’t leap into blind faith. You need to be somewhat calculated about what you’re doing, and strategically think about how you can make the situation work out. Although you may have no control over the outcome, you need to be relatively grounded with your decision, considering you may not be able to take it back.

    Realize there is a risk.

    Taking a leap of faith implies there is a risk involved. As with any venture into the unknown, there is a risk. You might regret the decision. Maybe the opportunity will fall apart mid-leap. Needless to say, risks are involved when you take a leap of faith, but who ever said a little risk is a bad thing?

    Staying in the same situation also poses a risk. You risk missing out on amazing new opportunities that could improve your life. You risk rejecting situations that could help you.

    Therefore, risk shouldn’t be perceived as a deterrent, but it should be acknowledged. If you’re taking a leap of faith, you will have some control over the situation, but a lot of it will be out of your control too.

    Changing up your life is a good thing. Even if your life is pretty cushy right now, life change is a gateway to growth, personal transformation, and exciting new adventures. Don’t be afraid to change things up because life passes quickly, and you don’t want to be the person sitting on their deathbed wishing they did things a little differently.

    With that said, if you still feel inclined to move forward, let’s explore how you can do it most gracefully.

    How to take a leap of faith

    Take a leap of faith

    Now let’s explore how to take a leap of faith if you’re feeling daunted by the decision.

    If you’re in a situation where you’re torn between worlds and not sure which path to take, take some time for yourself before making a decision. I suggest meditating, reflecting, and listening to your inner voice.

    When I’m faced with a big decision, I have discovered a handy technique to help clarify which path is in my highest interest.

    I think about what my higher self would do. This is the best version of myself who is walking my highest timeline. I visualize this version of myself and imagine what he would do if he was in my situation.

    Therefore, think about what your higher self would do in your situation. To do this, imagine the best version of yourself who you strive to become. What does he/she look like? What experiences have they had? What characteristics and qualities do they have?

    Now imagine that your idealized version of yourself is in your position right now. What would they do? Visualize it, feel it, and model after it. By putting yourself into the highest timeline, you’re more likely to make the right decisions.

    Clarify why you’re doing it

    I want to ask you, what is your motive behind taking the leap of faith? More importantly, what place does it come from?

    Are you making the decision from a place of anger or resentment? Perhaps out of a place of frustration, shame, or guilt? Are you thinking about making this decision to impress your peers or because you fear the consequences of not doing it?

    If you said yes to any of the above, I urge you to consider this decision wisely.

    Decisions made from a place of pain generally aren’t good decisions. They’re not coming from your heart and could be an act of self-sabotage which you want to be wary of. It’s more likely to be an impulsive decision if it comes from a place of pain, rather than a well-thought-out decision that serves your highest interest.

    If your reason for taking this leap of faith comes from a good place, then this is a much better reason to act on it. Maybe you want to take a leap of faith because the opportunity excites you, even though it’s scary. Perhaps you have the itch for some adventure of change in your life and want to see where new roads may take you. Maybe you resonate with the new opportunity, and you believe it could lead to a better life.

    Taking a leap of faith from a good place makes a world of difference. Therefore, think about what your incentive is, and if you’re moving towards something, or running away. Think about what feelings are conjured when you think about this decision. Does it inspire you, or deflate you?

    Listen to your gut instinct

    I want to stress the importance of listening to your intuition. Your intuition is like a compass. Many times I have relied on my intuition to find the best route to take. Sometimes opportunities have presented themselves that just felt wrong, and I made sure to steer clear of them.

    So make sure you’re always listening to that inner voice rather than the louder, logical mind – even if they’re pointing in different directions. When you’re on the right track, you will discover a deeper fulfillment in your life and intuitively know you made a good decision.

    Acknowledge the fear

    Let’s face it. Taking a leap of faith is scary. You will be stepping out of your comfort zone and may have mixed emotions due to that.

    Often, people back out of good opportunities because they’re afraid of what may go wrong. It’s uncertain, which is why it’s a leap of faith. If you knew the outcome, it wouldn’t be much of a leap, but rather a step toward certainty.

    Therefore, it’s important to determine whether fear is holding you back, or whether the decision is not in your best interest.

    If you feel the decision isn’t good for you because it’s not in alignment with what you want to do, then don’t do it. However, if your hesitation comes from fear, and you intuitively do want to do it, then you should.

    By determining whether the barrier is fear, you can more accurately gauge whether taking the leap of faith is a good thing for you.

    Commit to the decision

    Once you know that the decision feels right to make, you need to commit to it. It’s too easy to back out and stay in the familiar, which is why you need to reach a point where you whole-heartedly make the decision and follow through with it.

    From this point, you need to commit before hesitation creeps back in. It’s natural to feel a little out of place after you take a leap of faith. You might wonder if you made the right decision, and feel uneasy. This is a natural stage of acclimatizing to your new life situation, and understand that it will take some time to get into your groove.

    But don’t worry, this is normal. Your commitment will keep you on track, knowing there is no going back now. Keep pushing forward and finding familiarity in your new life.

    Have faith that everything will work out

    In my eyes, faith is priceless, especially when you’re stepping into the unknown. We tend to resist what’s happening when things get difficult, but resistance only creates more suffering.

    Therefore, don’t resist your feelings. Don’t resist where the universe is taking you, believing that everything will work out in the end. Sure, it may be a bumpy road but have faith that it’s for the best and that sooner or later, your life situation will look bright.

    At the end of the day, everything is an experience, regardless of what label you give the experience. If you experience life with a growth mindset, there are no bad decisions, only different decisions.

    With this mentality, you can’t lose, even if everything goes wrong. At the end of the day, your story is still being written, and you will get back on your feet. I’m not saying that you should anticipate things going wrong, but if you’re challenged, look at the opportunity within it.

    Final thoughts

    It’s important to be calculated and to give some serious thought to any big decision you make in your life. But keep in mind, that sometimes it’s best to move forward in life, even if it’s daunting.

    Taking the leap of faith into the unknown can transform your life in ways you are unable to yet anticipate, and redirect the trajectory of your life. I often hear people regret not taking a leap of faith and jumping on an opportunity that they were afraid to pursue, and I seldom hear people regret taking the leap into the unknown.

    The fear barrier is the hardest part to overcome, and usually, this is what causes people to stay in the same situation they have always known because they don’t decide to change their lives. Therefore, if you have thought about what we’ve discussed in this article, and you still want to take the leap, I suggest throttling forward and not looking back.

  • Why Personal Development Will Change Your Life

    Why Personal Development Will Change Your Life

    Personal development is the bridge to a better life.

    Without a doubt, my life would have taken a drastically different course if I hadn’t embraced the idea that I could change via continuous learning and practice. That’s how personal development must be viewed – that you are a work in progress with infinite potential.

    After many years on this journey, something has become abundantly clear.

    We all start as blank slates, and the quality of your life depends on how you build this slate. We are constantly building ourselves via life experience, exposure, influences, passive learning, active learning, practice, and repetition.

    What your life has eventuated into isn’t mere happenstance. It’s a reflection of the person you’ve crafted yourself to be, and the deliberate actions you’ve taken along the way. So let’s look at how it can take your life to a whole new level when treated with respect and grace.

    What exactly is personal development?

    My personal growth journey

    In a nutshell, personal development means continuously working on yourself to achieve a higher quality of life. It’s a lifelong journey of continuously improving your skills, abilities, traits, and characteristics, to ultimately become the best version of yourself.

    There is no modus operandi when it comes to personal development, as it involves every aspect of your life experience – from developing your social skills to improving your financial situation.

    However, the core incentive is the same: ‘What do I need to do to become the person who is capable of achieving my goals’. Because at the end of the day, personal development is a quest for self-expansion, to become the best version of ourselves we can be.

    The foundation of personal development is the notion that everything about you can be improved. No aspect of yourself is consolidated, which creates space for a complete transformation of self.

    That’s the beautiful thing about it. You realize that your mind is elastic, and you can reshape it however you desire. We all have unlimited potential, as long as we actualize ourselves, and work diligently towards our highest personal timelines.

    Embarking on the personal development journey

    In some ways I was very fortunate growing up. I always had food on the table and I had a loving family. But in other ways, I wasn’t.

    For the most part, I just couldn’t understand what was happening. I saw other kids generally getting on with their happy lives, but to me, life itself seemed mind-numbingly complicated.

    What’s wrong with me? I thought. Other kids were developing fundamental life skills, but I sat there sucking glue.

    So I grew up thinking I was defective. This was the hand of cards I had been dealt, and I had to accept that I would never be normal: A concept that became my biggest fantasy.

    Believing that I had something wrong with me led me into a depression for a few years. Fuelled by my desperation to change, I stumbled upon the shining beacon I was looking for – the realization that I could change.

    I could learn social skills? I could train myself to become more intelligent? I could become more confident, funnier, and more charismatic? I could become someone I’m proud of, and create a better life for myself?

    It all just clicked.

    A whole new chapter had been opened, and I was excited to experience it. From that moment, I committed to personal development and never looked back.

    Embracing the personal development journey

    The pursuit of developing myself into the person I wanted to be led me down a rabbit hole. This journey became more philosophical as I set my sights on happiness and fulfillment – which led me to explore spirituality.

    It took me many years of consistent practice to create big changes in my life. It was slow going for the first few years, but I pushed forward even when it felt hopeless.

    Even today, many years after embarking on this journey, I still face challenges. New challenges replace the old ones, and each stage of your growth encompasses a different dimension of your life experience.

    Here’s an example.

    You may begin improving your dating skills if you believe a partner is an antidote to your misery. Once you’re competent in dating and have a partner, you might discover that there is still a hole, so you start searching for the keys to fulfillment.

    While searching for fulfillment, you may discover that your childhood wounds may be the cause of your contempt. So this leads you to shadow work, which then leads you to spiritual doctrines, which then leads to your mindfulness, and so forth.

    Therefore, don’t perceive personal development as a linear journey. Personal development is a labyrinth, it’s an ecosystem that needs to be revitalized, and all roads will lead you further into the depths of your consciousness, one way or another.

    What I’ve come to realize is that there will always be challenges. There will always be more opportunities for growth and healing. Personal development is by no means a switch that needs to be flicked, rather it’s a seed that needs to be watered daily.

    How can personal development change your life?

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    Personal development doesn’t pertain to any particular area of your development. However, it’s wise to pick your battles and decide which areas in your life need the most improvement.

    To organize yourself, we’re going apply personal development to the four-bodies approach. The four bodies approach compartmentalizes our life experiences into 4 distinct areas which are:

    • Your physical body
    • Your emotional body
    • Your mental body
    • Your spiritual body 

    First off, which body do you feel isn’t performing at its best? Perhaps you’re out of shape, abusing a substance, or feeling physically unhealthy. In this case, it might be wise to prioritize working on your physical body, and restoring it to a healthy state.

    Perhaps you take care of your body, but your mind is the issue. Maybe your beliefs aren’t serving you, or your outlook on life/oneself needs improvement. In this case, what can you do to begin making the cognitive changes that you want?

    On the other hand, maybe your emotional body needs the most work. You may have a lot of trauma that needs to be healed, You may feel generally anxious, depressed, or overwhelmed. If your emotions are out of balance, focus on your emotional body.

    It’s important to look into each area of your life to assess where you need the most work, and where you should put your focus. As you begin to explore opportunities for improvement, you will naturally branch into other areas of your life experience too as they’re all interconnected.

    However, this allows for a more organic process, and take it from there.

    Personal development goals

    Woman with self-love embracing her life

    Now that we’ve looked at some different areas where personal development can improve your life, let’s look at more specific paths you can take to achieve your goals.

    Start by brainstorming some reasons why you want to improve any particular area of your life, what it entails, and how you can do it.

    Here are some examples:

    Develop your social skills

    Why:

    • To have a rich and abundant social life
    • To have a fun and active dating life, or find someone to settle down with
    • To become good at networking, making friends, and finding new opportunities in life

    What:

    • Develop good people skills
    • Develop conversational skills
    • Learn how to talk to people with ease
    • Work on your sense of humor
    • Develop confidence
    • Develop charisma
    • Work on the fear of being rejected or judged
    • Learn how to read people’s emotions
    • Become more socially calibrated

    How:

    • Start talking to more people daily to practice conversational skills
    • Start getting out of your comfort zone and introducing yourself to new people
    • Start organizing catchups more regularly with people you know
    • Research social skills and see what you can apply to yourself
    • Find networking events or social events in the area and go to them
    • Take a course on socializing if you don’t know where to begin

    Love yourself

    Why:

    • To counter negative feelings and attitudes about oneself such as self-pity, the victimhood mentality
    • To develop self-respect, self-worth, and to value oneself
    • To enjoy life more

    What:

    • Heal the underlying wounds causing this detrimental outlook
    • change your mindsets and perceptions
    • Develop the traits and characteristics that make you feel valuable

    How:

    • Do affirmations and affirm a more positive reality
    • Spend time processing the underlying wounds that are causing you feelings of shame, guilt, or self-pity
    • Reinforce everything that you find to be valuable about yourself
    • Discard the traits and characteristics that you don’t like about yourself, and work on developing better characteristics that are more aligned

    Be more at peace

    Why:

    • Stop being so stressed all the time
    • Find inner calmness and composure
    • Increase mental health and vitality

    What:

    • Change your perspective of stressful situations
    • Develop a higher point of view outlook
    • Develop existential beliefs that make you feel comfortable with your mortality

    How:

    • Expose yourself to more situations in life, to put your life into perspective
    • Start meditating regularly, and practice mindfulness
    • Train yourself to see the silver lining and develop an optimistic view of life
    • Seek out spirituality and see how it changes your interaction with the world around you

    Train your intelligence

    Why:

    • Become a more capable and competent person to better navigate the world, capitalize on opportunities, and leverage your skills and abilities to get somewhere in life

    What:

    • Increase your knowledge base
    • Generally become more informed, about more subjects
    • Improve comprehension of ideas and concepts
    • Increase your processing speed
    • Articulate information better
    • Increase your memory

    How:

    • Regularly do brain training exercises
    • Do memory exercises
    • Seek out more knowledge in all forms
    • Develop curiosity about the world, and actively attempt to connect the dots
    • Have more conversations with more people, about a wider range of subjects
    • Read more books, watch documentaries, and pivot towards helpful media rather than entertainment
    • Engage in debate and question things
    • Put yourself in productive environments that encourage learning and growth

    Cornerstones of personal growth

    Man sitting on a mountain top

    Cultivate awareness

    Your personal development journey starts by cultivating an awareness of what you need to improve upon.

    This is where you want to think critically about your life, and the areas that you’re lacking in.

    Write down all the different areas of your life that you need to work on. Prioritize those items from the most crucial to the least crucial to develop. Then within each item, brainstorm things that you could do to improve that part of your life.

    Seek information

    Knowing what you need to work on is a start, but you probably don’t know what to do. This is why it’s important to seek out good information to guide you.

    See this stage as a theoretical component of personal development. Seeking out information on the subject will give you a much deeper understanding of why you’re not where you want to be, and what you can be doing better.

    Start reading books on the subject, taking courses, watching videos, signing up for programs, and going to workshops. Inundate yourself with as much knowledge as possible about your areas of focus, and you’ll have plenty of knowledge to actualize.

    Set goals

    Setting goals is a crucial part of personal development because if you don’t have goals, you can easily lose motivation. Goals are organizational tools.

    Aiming to talk to strangers without feeling anxious by the end of the year is a good goal, and gives you something to continuously work towards. Aiming to become extremely confident and charismatic by the end of the year is not a realistic goal. Therefore, make appropriate targets, but don’t overshoot.

    Create realistic and actionable goals for your areas of focus. Divide these goals into weekly goals, monthly goals, and yearly goals, and make sure you stick to them.

    Take inspired action

    Being relatively knowledgeable about the subject gives you information to apply. Setting goals gives you a framework to apply them. What you need to do now is put it into action, and practice.

    Taking inspired action is the practical component of personal development. You can learn everything about the subject at hand, but unless you take actionable steps toward the results you want, nothing is going to change.

    Make sure that you do the heavy lifting. This involves getting out of your comfort zone and failing. It involves taking a risk and pushing yourself to grow as a person.

    Stay motivated

    Personal development is not a quick process, rather you should see it as a lifestyle that fruits the energy you expend into it. Think of personal development as passive income. It manifests proportionately to the amount you feed it. The more energy you put into working on yourself, the more it will pay off later down the track.

    It takes time to see the fruition of your hard work. At the start, you will feel like you’re grinding as the act of self-betterment is gradual, so don’t get discouraged if you don’t see instant changes.

    Your desire to change fuels the process of change. If you’re not hungry for change, you will get complacent. You will give up when it gets difficult or when you feel discouraged or lost. But there needs to be a deeper yearning behind all of that.

    Set your intentions and hold your reasons close because they’re going to be what carry you through to the end. Acknowledge that you will feel discouraged at times, and it might seem like a gruelingly slow process at times. But stick with it.

    Be consistent

    Be consistent with your effort, and continuously take small steps towards your goals. As long as you have the desire, you’re always going to be on the lookout for opportunities to develop yourself.

    A small chat with a chop clerk is going to help you improve your interpersonal skills. A broken heart will teach you how to open your heart, even drinking a coffee in your garden is an act of being more mindful.

    Think about how you can leverage any given experience to improve a skillset, characteristic, or mentality. Use everyday occurrences as opportunities to nudge yourself slightly closer to who you want to become.

  • How To Break Through The Fear Barrier And Start Thriving!

    How To Break Through The Fear Barrier And Start Thriving!

    Fear is one of the biggest barriers you’ll encounter in your life. It’s the wall separating you from your potential, and anyone on a personal growth journey will need to face it sooner or later.

    We all experience fear to some degree. When kept on a leash, it can even do us some good. However, the problem occurs when people allow fear to dictate their lives, so they never do anything out of the ordinary. They never get out of their comfort zone or take a risk.

    You might believe that living cautiously is a virtue, but caution becomes a handicap when it’s rooted in fear.

    As someone who has now spent many years traveling the world, my life would never be what it has become if I didn’t embrace the possibility of things going wrong. Despite what I’ve achieved, I am constantly facing fears, and life has become an act of navigating them.

    Let’s look at some approaches to overcome the fear barrier and move forward in your life.

    What is the fear barrier?

    Man afraid to ask woman out due to fear

    The fear barrier is the perceived wall between you and your envisioned reality. It’s that little voice telling you it’s not worth the risk, or you would be a fool for trying.

    We all have different approaches to tackling this wall. Some people burst through it in a single attempt. Some slowly chip away at it while others simply step through it.

    Then there are the people who look at this wall and turn back. The wall is too high. It’s too daunting. It’s not worth the risk. They never even attempt to break through this wall, because they’re scared of what could happen.

    Unfortunately, this uncomfortable sensation is often misinterpreted, and this is where avoidance arises. Although doing something you’re afraid of can be daunting, the consequences of failing are usually highly exaggerated.

    This is why it’s important to discern what is a threat to the ego, and what is an actual threat. Instead of being impaired by fear, become aware of what you fear and take appropriate steps to neutralize it.

    Acknowledge your fears

    In the past, I could barely hold a conversation, let alone travel indefinitely by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel fear regularly. I still shy away from good opportunities sometimes because I am afraid, but I’ve developed a deeper understanding.

    The regret that ensues after caving into fear is always much worse than the pain of failing. There have been many instances where I didn’t overcome a fear barrier, and I always regretted shying away from something I knew I should have done.

    The best adventures in my life have been the result of acknowledging my fears and doing it anyway. Yes, I may fail. It might end up disastrously. But I am willing to go through that pain if it means avoiding the pain of backing out and being a colossal disappointment to myself.

    The point is not to pretend fear doesn’t exist, because it does, and it always will. You need to acknowledge your fear, feel it deeply, and do it anyway. When it’s acknowledged, then you can use it as a mechanism that serves you.

    Using fear as a compass

    When your gut instinct tells you to do something you’re afraid to do, that fear is a compass pointing you toward growth. You’re always going to have some fear around certain things, but repetition helps you get used to the activity that triggers the fear response.

    For example, if you’re nervous about going on a date, you might need to go on many dates until the fear response subsides. Even after many dates, you will still feel nervous sometimes, but now you know how to manage that feeling better.

    The fear surrounding doing something new is a compass. It’s telling you that if you push forward and do it anyway, you will grow. You will gain the associated competence, and your life experiences will become more expansive.

    Over the years, I’ve learned to look at fear in a way that instills opportunity rather than dread. I now associate feelings of fear with growth by using each opportunity to chip away at this barrier.

    This is the perception you need to adopt. Fear can be a very useful tool as long as you see it for what it is – an opportunity to expand yourself.

    Why you need to overcome your fear

    Person watching a sunset by the ocean

    I think we all know the feeling of disappointment when we cave into fear. I’m sure you can think back to at least one instance when fear got the best of you, and maybe you still regret it today.

    Fear itself can be uncomfortable, but the feeling of being bound by it is unbearable. When you allow fear to dictate your choices, you close doors to potentially life-changing opportunities.

    Sometimes it’s easier to avoid going to an event by yourself because you may not make friends. Sometimes it’s easier to turn down invitations because you don’t know how it will turn out. But are you ever glad that you skipped these opportunities? Imagine where previous opportunities you forfeited could have led you. How would your life be different today?

    Fear confines you within your comfort zone which might feel safe, but it’s where dreams go to die. If you avoid public speaking because you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself, this avoidance will prevent you from building the essential skills and experience, needed to succeed in that area of your life.

    The mental toll of living in a constant state of fear is grim. When you’re experiencing fear, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and self-worth issues if not kept under wraps. If you regularly cave in, that fear can have some pretty big repercussions on your self-esteem.

    How to break the fear barrier

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    Fear is your friend because it indicates a growth opportunity, as long as you aren’t in real danger.

    When you feel fear about meeting someone new, traveling by yourself, or giving a public speech, this feeling illuminates an area in which you don’t feel competent. That feeling of fear indicates that if you push through the barrier and do it anyway, you will become a stronger and more capable person.

    In this sense, fear is a prerequisite for growth, because growth doesn’t occur when you don’t challenge yourself. Every time you leverage fear to step out of your comfort zone, the more your quality of life will improve.

    Let’s look into some ways that you can push through the fear barrier, and leverage this uncomfortable feeling for growth.

    Desensitize fear via repetition

    Make a habit of recognizing fear and take small steps towards it every time you feel it. By repeatedly doing something you’re afraid of, you’ll begin to desensitize from those uncomfortable feelings, and the less daunting it will become.

    I used to be terrified of introducing myself to people, so I avoided it at all costs. The cost was to live in a lonely bubble with a major fear of missing out, so I worked on it.

    At bars, I would make an effort to talk to random people. I started doing it more and more in social settings, even if it was strange or awkward because I didn’t know what to say. However, I knew that I could spend the whole night thinking about it, and it wouldn’t get me any closer to the result.

    Sometimes, you just need to jump into the deep end to sink or swim.

    When I started traveling, I pushed myself to meet people because otherwise, I wouldn’t make connections. I had to meet people in every new city I arrived in. Over time, I became pretty good at it.

    Many people now think of me as an outgoing person. Even though I still feel that fear, I’ve gotten used to it. I know that if I mess up, it’s not the end of the world.

    Doing something you’re afraid of frequently doesn’t mean that you’ll never experience the concomitant fear again, but it will become easier because you gain the associated competence.

    Feel the failure

    Failure can be a big source of fear and prevent us from attempting to succeed in the first place. Worrying about negative outcomes is a fear barrier, and when you’re contemplating doing something or not because you’re afraid of failing, sit with that sensation.

    Envision yourself failing and going through the motions. Maybe you feel shame, guilt, embarrassment. Play out the situation in your mind’s eye and sit with those uncomfortable feelings.

    The more you acknowledge failure and sit with the feelings you’re afraid of, the more you’ll realize that failure isn’t such a big deal. We tend to drum up failure to be much worse than it is. Therefore, it becomes daunting and acts as a fear barrier.

    Failure helps you learn via trial and error, and become better at any given thing you do. It’s important to see the learning curve with anything you do because you must get used to failure – at least if you want to taste success.

    So get used to the idea of failing and sit with the feelings that come up when you envision failure. This is how you will recognize failure as a core ingredient for success.

    Use mental rehearsal techniques

    Envisioning your success in vivid detail can help you build a roadmap to it. Of course, sometimes you just need to do it. Other times, knowing exactly what you’re going to do can ease the nerves.

    This is where mental rehearsal techniques can come in handy.

    Mental rehearsal is a technique where you visualize the process of doing something successfully. In this sense, you’re mentally preparing yourself for a positive outcome, and setting yourself up for success.

    I often use mental rehearsal techniques when I’m feeling quite nervous about something. I’ve used it to envision myself arriving at an event – playing out in detail how I can talk to people and have fun. I’ve mentally rehearsed podcast episodes and videos as a way to prepare myself.

    I’m not saying you should be reliant on this technique. However, if you’re nervous about something that’s coming up, mental rehearsal techniques can be a good aid.

    Follow your gut instinct

    When you’re feeling fear about something, your mind will play games with you. You may be conned into believing that you should back out. During these moments, it can be hard to discern when fear is speaking, and when the true self is speaking.

    This is why you need to draw a line.

    Your mind will play games with you, but your heart will never deceive you. If you focus on your intuition rather than the fear coaxing you out of the opportunity, a deeper wisdom will shine through. This wisdom will know what the right answer is.

    When I felt confused about making big decisions in my life that I was afraid of, I learned to tap into the wisdom of my heart. During these big decisions, even though scary, I found I had no option. A part of me would never forgive myself if I backed out, because I knew I would not be fulfilled. 

    If you feel lighter thinking about doing something that you don’t want to do, then you should do it anyway. Trust the wisdom of your heart, and you instinctively know what decision is right to make.

    Apply some pressure

    Nobody likes the feeling of pressure, however, pressure is a powerful tool.

    Too much pressure can cause you to melt down and stifle your progress. Having no pressure at all leads to complacency because you have no incentive at all. It’s best to find a middle ground where you have some pressure to propel you, however, it’s not overbearing.

    Think about it this way.

    If you’re in a desperate situation with no money, you’re not going to be productive due to the overwhelming stress. If you have a passive income and don’t need to make money, it’s easy for you to stay in the same position.

    However, if you are in a subpar situation and you’re tired of living this way, you may start pushing yourself to actualize and create something because you have an incentive. This is where you will get out of your comfort zone, but it’s not so daunting that it will cause a meltdown.

    Therefore, apply some pressure to yourself, and understand what you miss out on if you never try to better yourself.

    Be patient with yourself

    Part of pushing through the fear barrier is having patience. Getting to a place of competence can be a long journey, and often it takes a lot of failures to get there.

    Expect that sometimes you will back out. You will mess up. You will blame yourself and feel like a failure. This is a natural part of the process, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

    Learning to overcome the fear barrier is a continuous act of recognizing when new opportunities arise, and pushing yourself to act on it when they do. There will always be more opportunities, but you don’t want to use that as an excuse either.

    At the end of the day, don’t make the mistake of taking the easy route because it always leads to a dead end. Don’t look back on your life ten years from now and wonder what could have been, because you never had the guts to try.

    Recognize that overcoming a fear barrier can be a long journey, one you need to constantly chip away at. But as long as you’re stepping in the right direction, the quality of your life will improve.

  • Struggling To Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin? Here’s What You Can Do!

    You know that feeling when you just click with yourself? When you’re not worried about how you look, what people think, or whether you’re measuring up to some vague ideal of being ‘a success?’ Yeah, it’s a pretty awesome feeling, but getting there isn’t always easy.

    We’ve all had moments where we feel out of place, or just not quite comfortable with who we are. Nothing wrong with that, we’re only human, but how do you get past the barriers and feel comfortable in your own skin? This is something many of us struggle with, especially when we have self-worth issues.

    In this article, I’m diving into some real-world ways to be more comfortable in your own skin – talking about feeling good in your body, owning your uniqueness, and not letting anyone’s standards define you.

    Be comfortable in your own skin meaning

    Be comfortable in your own skin

    To be comfortable in your own skin means that you’re being your authentic self, and you aren’t afraid of acting in a way that feels good to you! You’re at peace with who you are, including your quirks, differences, and dysfunctions. 

    In other words, becoming comfortable in your own skin is to develop transparency and to come out of your shell. Rather than cowering behind a false image because you’re afraid of being a bit different or quirky, you are comfortable being seen for who you are.

    This means you’re not worried about being judged and you don’t live to appease other people. You’re congruent with your own needs and desires, and do what feels good to you regardless of how others perceive it.

    Many people you cross paths with are wearing masks to fit in. There’s quite a strong social pressure to fit into social circles, society, or culture that we often chop off all the bits sticking out to fit into the frame.

    We want to appear successful, wealthy, and well-put together. We want an ego massage by flaunting an image that is admired by others. So we create a facade that we’re comfortable in, but the true self feels vulnerable when we expose it.

    So we don’t.

    Why being comfortable in your own skin is important

    When people aren’t comfortable in their own skin, they don’t act congruently with who they genuinely are or do what makes them feel good. This can lead to self-disintegration, a lack of satisfaction with oneself, self-doubt, approval-seeking behavior, and other limitations that we definitely want to avoid.

    Part of being comfortable in your own skin is to be comfortable as an individual. It’s important to see the inherent value of your uniqueness because this will help you come out of your shell.

    You can become more individualistic by pursuing your own beliefs, goals, and ambitions, regardless of what other people do, or how they view this behavior. Not to mention, it takes a world of pressure off your shoulders, not feeling like you need to be a particular way.

    We’ve all tried that at some stage, it becomes exhausting!

    When I was younger I thought my life was planned out for me. After undergoing a spiritual awakening, I completely changed the trajectory of my life because I could no longer see the joy in it. While I knew following a particular path of finding a respectable job and earning a good income was what most people do – and would give me social brownie points, I knew it wasn’t authentic to who I was.

    My life certainly hasn’t been conventional and there’s not a whole lot of people I can seek guidance from. So I explored my identity. It took me time to really fall into my true identity, a deeper soul identity with lots of trials, but the more I stepped into it, the more comfortable I became with being unusual.

    Many people take the easy route and wonder why they aren’t fulfilled. I believe that in many cases, it’s because they have leaned so far into a facade that they forgot their individuality.

    In truth, most people are afraid to be themselves because it can be uncomfortable, especially in the beginning. We’re pressured into abiding by a particular image, and we lose ourselves in the chase. So do you want to be the same as everyone else, safe and unseen, or do you prefer to pave your unique path through life, regardless of what others do?

    I know what I would do.

    Learn to express yourself genuinely

    Two men who are comfortable in their own skin

    Let’s focus on your self-expression. To be more comfortable in your own skin, you must learn to express yourself in a way that is congruent with your true thoughts and feelings.

    If your actions correspond with your deeper values, feelings, desires, and beliefs, then you’re in alignment with your true self. If you act the way you should but feel that it’s incongruent with who you are, then you’re wearing a mask.

    Expressing yourself freely is to allow yourself to express yourself in a way that feels good! You don’t necessarily need to be an expressive person if it’s not who you are, but you shouldn’t hold back.

    Self-expression comes in many flavors including:

    • The expression of your emotions (crying, laughing)
    • Expressing yourself verbally (communicating your needs, desires, frustrations)
    • Expressing yourself through body language (mannerisms, gestures)
    • Expressing yourself romantically
    • Acting on impulses instead of overanalyzing them
    • Being expressive with stylizing yourself
    • Expressing yourself through your sense of fashion
    • Being free with your actions instead of restaining them
    • Allowing yourself to be playful, mischievous, flirty, etc.
    • Following your interests, passions, and avocations in life

    If you feel like doing something, do it. If you feel like saying something, say it. Your instincts are powerful, and they serve an important function. Likewise, intuition is a very powerful tool and tends to steer you in the direction of authenticity.

    Express yourself in a healthier way

    It’s important to express your pain by crying, or your anger by venting. Do you feel better when you talk to someone about your problems and get it off your chest?

    I bet you do.

    Being in alignment with your true self allows you to process your life experience and heal your wounds. Pretending you’re okay only prevents you from looking at the issue at hand, which is why it’s counterproductive.

    Expressing yourself fully = a more colorful expression of life.

    Covering your feelings up = numbness and a lesser expression of life.

    That’s why expressing your pain is just as important as expressing everything positive you feel. Being authentic in your expression is no excuse for having no discipline or falling into habits or impulses that don’t serve you.

    You can also express positive feelings in a toxic way. If you start screaming at the top of your lungs in public because you received some good news, you’re being a nuisance. However, you can harness that positive energy in a way that benefits everyone.

    Celebrate! Dance, sing, and be grateful. Have great conversations and let yourself shine. If you’re in love, show affection, show care, show that love. Be there for your partner, but don’t smother them.

    This is why you need to think about how you’re choosing to express your energy because you can easily do it in a way that isn’t productive. As long as you express yourself fully, you will find it much easier to be comfortable in your own skin.

    How to be comfortable in your own skin

    Women playing together

    You may feel a little strange when you start coming out of your shell. It may even be daunting because you’re not used to being so seen. However, the more you make an effort to embody your true self, the more comfortable you will feel.

    So treat it as a process.

    If you practice stepping further into the person that you resonate with, you will start to find comfort in the new you. When you reach a point where you are comfortable in your own skin, life is generally a much more joyful experience.

    Here we’re going to look at some steps you can take to be more comfortable with yourself.

    Stop resisting yourself

    Nonresistance plays a role if you want to be comfortable in your own skin. That’s because when we don’t like what we see underneath the mask, we tend to resist our true feelings, desires, and personality. If you simply let yourself be who you really are, you wouldn’t have this issue.

    Do you dance when you’re feeling it, or do you tell yourself that you shouldn’t because you’re worried about what others think? Do you allow yourself to be a little silly at times and let your inner child play, or are you trying to be mature? Do you go the places and do the things you want, or overthink them?

    When you train yourself not to act in a certain way, it becomes difficult to step deeper into your authentic self. Stop resisting your life experience, and you will find that you are a great place to be.

    Get in touch with your feelings

    Transparency is an important step to become more comfortable in your own skin, and openness plays a big role in your ability to be transparent. The way I look at this is if you are an open book, you have nothing to hide, making it easier to be yourself. If you aren’t transparent, you’ll probably play the part of appearing a certain way.

    Most people aren’t very transparent for a couple of reasons.

    1. They have something to hide.
    2. They feel vulnerable by being seen.

    Assuming you don’t have anything to hide, you probably feel vulnerable by being your true self.

    Here’s the thing.

    Most people have no idea who you are because you refuse to let them in. By being transparent, more people will resonate with you because they’re interacting with a three-dimensional person, not a facade. Furthermore, you will attract like-minded people into your world by being open, and probably push away artificial people you don’t want.

    It’s a win-win.

    Be true to your beliefs

    Be integral to your beliefs. Your beliefs are powerful, and if you ignore them, you’re going to cause an incongruency. Therefore, stick to what you believe in despite what other people think. Don’t be afraid to be judged by others, knowing everyone is so focused on their image, that nobody is paying attention to yours.

    Perhaps you have an unpopular opinion on the world situation. Some people might disagree with you. They might not even like you for expressing those beliefs, but if aren’t integral to them, you’re not going to feel at peace with yourself.

    No, you’re going to feel less embodied because you’re stepping outward into inauthenticity. Your beliefs, attitudes, and actions should be consistent with your values. Live in integrity with what you believe to be true, and you will feel much better about who you are.

    Be sincere in your communication

    Many people have a habit of saying what other people want them to say, rather than what they’re thinking. Sometimes being honest may be uncomfortable or intimidating, but you need to make a habit of being true to your word. Likewise, you will feel much more empowered and self-ensured when you can express your word freely.

    If people oppose your views, hold space to debate but don’t just agree for the sake of wanting to get along with people. This is people-pleasing behavior, and it certainly won’t empower you. Being vocal about your opinions generates interesting conversation, but it also opens you up to other people, as they see where you lie on different subjects and issues.

    Work on your self-worth

    Not being able to be yourself generally stems from a self-worth issue. You may not like the person you truly are, so you try to hide that person from the public gaze. Realize, however, that this won’t make you feel fulfilled.

    Can you identify if there is something about yourself you don’t like? Some people will know instantly, others may need to do some digging. But let me hand the ball back to you…

    What don’t you like about yourself, and what emotions does thinking about it stir up? Perhaps you feel shame or guilt. Perhaps you’re embarrassed by a particular personality trait or characteristic.

    If you can identify something you’re deliberately withholding from the world, that could be why you’re uncomfortable in your skin – because you don’t love yourself. In this case, the more you can cultivate self-love, acceptance, and forgiveness, the easier it will be to be comfortable in your own skin.

  • Having Integrity: Why You Must Stand By Your Principals

    Having Integrity: Why You Must Stand By Your Principals

    Integrity should be the core of every person, however, this important quality has taken the back seat in our accelerated, money-driven society.

    Now the name of the game has changed: Get ahead by all means. Cheat, smear, and throw others under the bus. Bullshit your way to success, whatever that means anymore, and that’s all that matters.

    It’s no surprise that we live in a cut-throat society where values, morals, and principles have gone out the window. On the flip side, however, it’s illuminating the desperate need for integrity because now we’re living in a world void of it.

    Integrity must be a pillar of your personal growth because everything else you have worked so far for simply crumbles away without it.

    You need to be true to your principles, your values, and your morals. Here we’re going to look at how you can be more integral to live a more fulfilling, honorable life.

    What it means to be integral

    Woman with integrity

    Being integral means that you uphold your values and live with principles regardless of external pressures or forces.

    I view integrity as the substance behind a person.

    Without substance, people flake away because there is no depth to their character. They exist as hollow facades who are vulnerable to influence, indoctrination, and corruption. People without substance tend to be materialistic and fake, and fundamentally lack reason – the why behind their actions.

    An integral person will never abandon their values despite the consequences of staying true to them. They live by their code of morals because they believe it’s the right thing to do.

    With integrity, you’ll always take the sincere route over the quick path. You will play an honest game because there’s a lot more at stake than losing the game – losing the essence of who you are.

    Integral people have a strong moral compass and don’t allow themselves to be influenced or pressured into submission. Their core values are refined which allows them to navigate temptation.

    Integrity is a virtue that provides a sense of fulfillment. It reflects well on you, but it also has a positive influence on your professional life, social life, mental health, and other areas of your life experience.

    Integrity is to:

    • Identify your highest values and adhere to them
    • Live by a code of morals
    • Live an ethical life
    • Stand by your principals
    • Listen to your inner voice and intuition
    • Be honest
    • Stay loyal
    • Be fair

    Ultimately, living with integrity is to live a conscientious life in alignment with the higher self. It’s to hold yourself to high moral standards by being true to your core, living by principles, and being honest with others.

    Examples of integral people

      1. John was sitting at a café when he noticed someone dropped a $20 note. Instead of pocketing it, John chased down the person to return it because he believed it was the right thing to do.

      2. Sarah is an environmentally conscious person. Upon being offered a lucrative position with a company that is not environmentally conscious, she decided to decline the offer as it would compromise her core values.

      3. Steve got into an argument with his wife the other night. He reflected on the argument and realized he was in the wrong. He apologized to his wife and admitted his errors instead of holding strong to his comment to ‘win’ the argument.

    Integrity in personal relationships

    couple 1838940 1920 1024x683 1

    Being integral in your relationships is critical to building fulfilling connections with people that last.

    Integrity leads to trust. There needs to be trust in your relationships, otherwise, people will put up walls and prevent themselves from connecting with you on a deeper level. We all love friends we can trust because we know there are no hidden agendas.

    Without integrity, relationships often fall apart because nothing is holding them together. There is no substance in the relationship.

    Lies will eventually be caught out and they will always come back to bite you in the butt. In a way you sabotage yourself because you openly show others that you have something to hide.

    In relationships, integrity also leads to transparency with one another. You’re not pretending you’re someone you aren’t. People see you as a real, three-dimensional person, and therefore find it easier to connect with you.

    This is why it’s so important to be sincere with people because it sets the foundation for a healthy relationship.

    If you make a mistake and hurt your friend or partner, being integral means owning up to it and apologizing. It might be uncomfortable which is why people often get caught in a web of lies, but being honest clears the air and leads to forgiveness.

    We all make mistakes, but how you make amends is the true test of character.

    Integrity in your work

    workers 659885 1920 1024x636 1

    Being integral to your work means being responsible and doing everything with care. You are not cutting corners because you are aware of how your actions affect the business. You pull your weight, help out where you can, and respect the position you are in by acknowledging the results of your actions.

    Whether it’s your career, your business, or your avocations, do what you do on a strong foundation, even if it’s slow. Treat the business you work for as your own, and be integral to the core message of the business.

    Someone integral to their work will always do things honorably. They will never cheat a boss, coworker, client, or customer, because they genuinely want to help. They are always transparent about what they do and how it works which instills trust and respect.

    You’re not always going to have everything under control. You will make mistakes because you’re human, but you take accountability for them.

    Part of being integral to your work is being honest about how you feel and what you’re thinking. Solutions require open communication. It’s not always easy, you might feel vulnerable by addressing things you don’t particularly want to discuss, but it is necessary.

    You won’t just turn a blind eye because it’s easier. If there is tension between other employees, raise the issue with them and work on a conclusion.

    People who are integral to their work generally have a strong work ethic because they feel like they’re a core part of the business, and take initiative.

    I get it, we don’t all love our work, but we should be aiming to work towards something we love. When you love your work, you will naturally give it more care.

    Integrity in leadership

    meeting 2284501 1280

    Being an integral leader means you are a humble servant by taking your position seriously, never abusing your power, and genuinely looking after the entire collective like it’s a part of yourself. There is a duty of care and responsibility for an integral leader, and they never perceive themselves as being above others.

    Any true leader needs to be integral. Good leadership always involves being transparent with people even if it’s difficult. A good leader does not hide who they are, and they are usually respected because they are genuine. Being upfront with everyone and telling them the truth of the situation helps to build trust.

    You need to have strongly refined goals and to hold your values close. There should be a powerful overarching mission, and you are simply a servant to that mission.

    No ego, no power trip. Just a mission you are coordinating people to achieve.

    If people see you fold easily or give up because something isn’t just handed to you, they will not see you as a true leader.

    Imagine if Jesus said ‘This is too difficult, I’m going to take back everything I said and cave into pressure’. Somehow he wouldn’t be the figure we remember.

    There are many examples of politicians lying to garner support, and then avoiding the topic once elected. There are many cases of sleazy thought leaders making false promises, and not following through with their words.

    If you are an integral leader, you will always follow through with your word. You will honor your agreements and never backstab to get ahead.

    In saying that, don’t say things that aren’t true, or that you don’t intend to do. Don’t lie to sway people’s beliefs or convince them to join your cause.

    If you want to earn people’s respect, you need to act in a way that is deserving. Make the hard calls, do the right thing, and say what must be said even if it dwindles your support. If you make a mistake, admit it.

    Integrity to the spiritual path

    Man integral to the spiritual path

    Being integral to the spiritual path is to strip dogma from spirituality, and to be authentic with your practices, teachings, and growth process.

    Integrity is necessary along the spiritual journey because spirituality is just a label without integrity. This means honoring your process, your challenges, and your setbacks. Spiritual integrity is to be real with the journey (rather than faking it for image sake).

    Along your spiritual growth journey, you’re going to encounter challenges. Challenges appear in the form of spiritual egos, spiritual bypassing, dishonesty, and deceit. You will go through initiations, you will be hurt, and you will go in circles, again and again.

    After all, this is all part of spiritual growth. There is no shortcut to working it out because you can’t be taught wisdom, you must earn it.

    These days, everyone is a guru, or shaman, or healer. Many people will claim they have transcended their humanness, that know all the secrets of the universe. People love to spout their spiritual advancement but have yet to walk the spiritual path with integrity.

    Many people who are on a spiritual journey try to take shortcuts without being sincere about who they are and where they’re currently at.

    As a result, you have the new-age movement of spirituality – generations of individuals who don’t practice what they preach. It becomes a bunch of word fodder without congruency to the person’s attitudes, behaviors, and actions.

    To be integral to the spiritual journey, you need to honor the process of spiritual growth – it’s a lifelong journey for us all. There is no shortcut.

    Be transparent with your process. If you’re not sure about something, seek out good teachers who can guide you. Don’t bullshit your way through, be sincere.

    There are certainly real things we can tap into, but there are many people who are ingenuine, trying to make a quick buck off gullible souls. Therefore hold yourself to higher standards. I suggest veering towards the side of humility rather than spouting about things that may not be true.

    12 steps to become more integral pin

    How to become more integral

    By prioritizing your core values over any material assert, you will instinctively know what feels right and take a course of action congruent with this feeling.

    To become a more integral person whether it’s in your work, relationships, or spiritual growth journey, refine your values and know what truly matters to you.

    Separate fluff from truth, and always follow the path that speaks to your soul, not your mind. Anything that can be attained won’t give you the same fulfillment as sticking to your values and doing what’s right.

    Here are some things you can do to become a more integral person:

    Tell the truth

    Always speak with truth, even if it weakens your position or causes pain. Lying to benefit yourself is not an integral path, and you will eventually be caught out for doing so.

    Do the right thing

    Always do what feels right, even if it’s unpopular or there are incentives for doing the wrong thing. Make moral decisions because your conscience is more valuable than wealth, status, or gain.

    Don’t cheat

    Taking the shortcut instead of doing things properly shows a lack of integrity. There will always be consequences to shortcutting life.

    Speak up

    If you witness something immoral or unethical, raise your concern and take action, otherwise, you are complicit and have dirty hands yourself.

    Stay true under pressure

    Stay true to your beliefs and conscience, regardless of the social pressure you’re facing. Don’t just follow questionable trends because it’s the easy thing to do.

    Take accountability

    If you have made a mistake or done something you shouldn’t have, don’t try to cover it up or defer responsibility. Take it on the chin.

    Support your fellow humans

    We are all on the same side. Help and support people, regardless of their beliefs, views, or opinions – because you genuinely care about them.

    Show maturity

    Be open with people and communicate with them like adults. Share information with people that could potentially benefit them rather than keeping secrets or withholding information for private gain.

    Stick by your values

    Your values are your guiding compass in life. They determine the meaning you appoint to your life. Therefore, make sure you select healthy, benevolent values and stick with them.

    Be your authentic self

    Be yourself despite the flack you get. People who don’t have integrity will wear a mask and pretend they’re someone else for image’s sake. Let yourself be seen for who you are.

    You’re there for your friends

    You are always there for your friends and family when they need you despite how much of an inconvenience it may be. You can tell the integrity of a person by how much they value their relationships.

    Be humble

    You must show humility and put your ego aside if you want to live an integral life. This means you’re not doing what you do for show, or the sake of image.

  • Holistic Success: How To Achieve A Life That Truly Matters

    Holistic Success: How To Achieve A Life That Truly Matters

    Everyone wants to be a big success in life.

    Most people fantasize about having a lifestyle oozing with wealth, status, and an abundance of opportunities. After all, this is the portrait of success our society has painted.

    Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting these things, something is missing from the picture: happiness.

    Long has the external condition been prioritized over the internal condition, but a life of wealth means nothing if you’re miserable.

    So what does success actually mean, and are we aiming for the right target?

    Success is a state of consciousness

    The holistic view of success

    In our pursuit to find success, we have lost touch with the true meaning of success. As a society, we have the idea backward.

    Most people believe that success is an external condition. It’s a matter of doing well, achieving, and attaining. In truth, this is a very materialistic perspective.

    People want to be successful to achieve a feeling. They want to be fulfilled. Therefore, let’s cut out the middle man, and inspect what we’re actually pursuing here: fulfillment.

    Society’s formula for success | abundance –> success –> happiness
    The spiritual formula for success | happiness –> success –> abundance

    Success is a state of consciousness. It corresponds with a high-vibrational state as it’s associated with happiness, joy, gratitude, and all the positive feelings we experience.

    In other words, true success is the authentic embodiment of the higher self: The person who is a little further along in their growth journey than you are.

    Some people will be extremely miserable but consider themselves successful because they have achieved a particular career goal. Others will sacrifice time with their family and kids to be successful.

    At some point, we need to ask ourselves what we’re chasing.

    We live in a society that prioritizes quantity over quality. This has an enormous influence over how we perceive success as a collective, and why our current model is so misleading.

    Success cannot be measured in assets as everyone gets different value from their assets.

    Success must be measured as value. What is the value you’re getting from your life experience?

    How we measure success

    Your fulfillment must measure success.

    Success is not a finish line, but a sensation of wholeness you can cultivate within yourself.

    Different people have different routes to this sense of wholeness, including:

    • Providing for a family or people you care about
    • Cultivating faith and meaning through spiritual practices
    • Adding value to the world and other people
    • Leaving a legacy that will improve other people’s lives
    • Helping or creating a good cause

    Success is an intrinsic movement rather than an external accomplishment. It’s something that must be found within yourself, not something that can be found elsewhere.

    If you keep chasing superficial things to be successful then you’re probably not enjoying life right in front of your eyes.

    If you sacrifice all of the good things in life to work towards some invisible end goal, then I would consider this as failing. You’re failing because you’re not enjoying your life, or making the most of your time here.

    Therefore, aim for fulfillment, and you will be successful. Wealth, fame, and all of these things are nice, but they’re not necessary to be fulfilled.

    If you reprioritize your values and give success a deeper meaning, then you will start pursuing more worthwhile things.

    Here are the conventional metrics of success, and genuine metrics of success.

    Conventional metrics of success

    This is how we as a society tend to view success…

    • Becoming wealthy
    • Having a sense of power
    • Having a lot of social status
    • Being widely recognized or famous
    • Being approved of or validated by others

    Genuine metrics of success

    This is a deeper philosophical view of success…

    • A sense of fulfillment
    • Being on a path of personal growth and actualization
    • Spiritual growth and faith
    • Human connection, friendship, and community
    • High vibrational feelings like gratitude and love

    Success as a feeling

    Be comfortable in your own skin

    We tend to place ridiculous expectations on future ideals by believing that success is a material condition. As soon as you get something you want, you are considered successful.

    People chase money to buy the feeling.

    They think they can simply buy success, or that a material condition will solve all of their internal problems.

    But what about your trauma? What about your sense of meaning and fulfillment? Do these simply take the backseat?

    What solves these internal problems are:

    The old paradigm of success is dying, and it must die to make way for a more holistic view of wholeness.

    As long as you associate success with material acquisition, you can be extremely successful, but extremely unhappy. No matter how much you have, you won’t feel abundant as long as you hunger for more.

    You’re missing the soul, which consists of:

    • Joy
    • Gratitude
    • Compassion
    • Love
    • Awe
    • Beauty

    It’s important to look into this mentality of material acquisition to understand what you’re pursuing here. Success has been a feeling, a vibration, a state of consciousness.

    If you don’t have happiness, then everything else you have becomes meaningless.

    connection between success and abundance

    If you feel like you already have everything you need, then crossing the finish line won’t make a difference.

    Satisfaction is short-lived. Fulfillment is a deeper shining of the soul.

    If you can enjoy the fruits that life provides, then you are successful. Everything else you achieve will be a bonus. You have already accomplished that sensation of success, which is to feel abundant in love and happiness.

    Abundance is a state of fulfillment.

    If you wish to achieve great things in life, you need to build a solid foundation that you aren’t chasing something to be happy.

    You should be doing whatever you do because you genuinely enjoy doing it.

    If you can’t do what you want to do due to finances, responsibilities, or life getting in the way, find a way to do it, or at least work towards a vision of doing it.

    Pursue your dreams and ambitions, but remember that you are already successful as long as you do the inner work.

    How to view success

    Achieving a milestone in life

    Even though success must be cultivated internally, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go for what you want in life – the external is still part of the picture.

    We do have physical bodies after all. It’s fair to say that people in extreme poverty probably won’t feel successful.

    You must find a state where your basic needs are met, and preferably actualize where you can have a lot more. However, the meaning behind why you do what you do makes a world of difference.

    You should be inspired by your goals and feel a sense of accomplishment solely from working on them. You should be excited to do something with your life and make the most of it.

    After all, why not?

    If you don’t enjoy what you’re moving toward, then you are already unsuccessful as you aren’t gaining anything from the process.

    In this case, your work is not making you any happier. It’s probably doing the opposite by adding excess stress to your life and stripping you from your limited time on this planet.

    But I get it. Part of life is to grind, make money, and ultimately, just make it through. However, believing in yourself to actualize any life you want – and having a drive behind it will make you feel so much better about why you’re doing what you do.

    Success is a seed that you plant. If you tender this seed, it will grow into opportunities, experiences, and abundance. But you must nurture this seed until it bears fruit.

    Aim high and desire to achieve an incredible life, but realize that an incredible life is not a prerequisite to happiness.

    Finding meaning

    Discover what you’re on this planet for, and go for it. If you don’t know, then you haven’t searched.

    It has taken me many years exploring the world, living in different cultures, and making countless sacrifices to find why I’m on this planet – to help raise the vibration of this planet through education and healing.

    This sense of meaning drives me. When I’m at my lowest, it pushes me past the hump, realizing that I can leave a footprint that others will benefit from. This is what makes me feel successful, it’s the core of who I am.

    When people plan success for the sake of getting something out of it, they will fail every time.

    Jokes on them, they’re going to die in 50-odd years or so.

    What’s the point of gaining for oneself when your time is limited, but there is potentially an unlimited amount of future generations that will exist after you? There is a reason for a legacy.

    Following through with a dream is what makes people successful because it gives their lives meaning.

    This dream may be to create a project. It may be to watch your family grow old and be happy. Maybe it’s to experience everything you can in this world while you can and just have a wild experience on spiritual BootCamp Earth.

    Discover meaning in your life, and you will feel successful in life.

    How to look at failure

    Our society condemns failure as something that must be avoided at all costs, but failure is a part of life. 

    Accomplishment has never been achieved without enduring countless failures.

    Anything you want to achieve in life requires a learning curve. As long as you are willing to fail, you allow yourself to adapt, innovate, and change.

    The end goal is achieved by climbing a mountain of your failures. Each corpse of failure is a platform to reach new heights. Without failure, you wouldn’t have anything to climb.

    Therefore, view life as a work in progress. A messy process. An exciting experience to learn, grow, and experience. Do not be afraid of failure because failure is a part of life. Rather, view success as an attempt to live your best possible life, and do it wholeheartedly.

  • The Best Practices For Cultivating Inner Stillness

    The Best Practices For Cultivating Inner Stillness

    In the hustle and bustle of modern society, it’s easy to simply miss life. With everything happening in the world today, it’s becoming more a chore to live in the present moment.

    Social media is constantly grasping for your attention. There’s an endless river of stress keeping you on your toes, exacerbated by the endless worries of a changing social climate. You constantly need to plan, do, and achieve – And there has never been more pressure to become someone.

    Then there’s that little voice inside your head telling you to work harder – To be more productive and to get more done. Life is a competition after all, and your mental jukebox certainly won’t let you forget that.

    It never ends.

    That’s the problem – We’re always living in the future which is why it’s more important than ever to learn to live in the now. This is where mindfulness practices come in handy.

    Mindfulness practices are ways to get out of your head and into the present moment.

    You don’t need to be a monk to be mindful. All you need is the present moment. If you’re conscious – You qualify!

    So let’s look into some mindfulness practices to drop into the present moment.

    What does it mean to be mindful?

    Man doing mindfulness practices

    Mindfulness is to be absorbed in the present moment without thinking. When you’re in the now, your mind is empty from thoughts, stress, and worries about the future.

    Essentially, being mindful is to be fully present with any given aspect of your life experience.

    Being mindful is not a task, nor is it something you do. Living mindfully is a philosophy – A simplistic lens of life that allows you to mentally declutter and fully appreciate everything you have right now.

    Mindfulness applies to every aspect of your life. You can even be mindful of your thoughts, as long as you are completely present with them. Mindfulness can be applied to:

    • Your work
    • Hobbies and avocations
    • Tasks and duties
    • Driving
    • Motion/Moving
    • Walking
    • Eating and drinking
    • Breathing
    • Socializing
    • Talking
    • Listening
    • Watching something

    You can cultivate mindfulness in every aspect of your life, and doing so will benefit your life. To learn more about bringing mindfulness into everyday living, follow the link below:

    Why is mindfulness important?

    The mind can be a tormenting place, and you can waste away your life stuck in it.

    Mindfulness is important because it helps you reduce internal suffering. In other words, it’s great for your mental health.

    Mindfulness is important because it:

    • Reduces stress
    • Improves clarity
    • Helps you focus
    • Creates a better mind-body connection
    • Increased self-awareness
    • Better emotional regulation

    We conjure a lot of pain through thought, as dwelling on the past and future can exacerbate internal conflict. Pain compounds through resistance while inner peace is achieved with acceptance. To learn more about how this works, check out this article:

    Mindfulness acts as an internal oasis. It creates a peaceful space void of stress and worry where you can recharge. The quality of your life is based on the quality of each moment you have. This is why mindfulness is critical in making the most out of life, and experiencing life to its fullest.

    What are mindfulness-based practices?

    Mindfulness-based practices are specific activities you can do you bring your awareness inward. Certain practices such as meditation, yoga, and breathwork help cultivate mindfulness, meaning the more you practice these activities, the easier it becomes to be present.

    Although it’s important to incorporate mindfulness into daily life, I suggest doing mindfulness-based practices regularly to help cultivate inner stillness.

    You can start by doing grounding practices here:

    How can you practice mindfulness?

    Present man - Living in the moment

    Here are some mindfulness practices to help you achieve mental and emotional equanimity.

    Try to apply as many of these practices as often as you can. Make mindfulness a lifestyle, and watch this new way of being fruit in various forms within your life.

    Avoid dwelling on the future

    In most cases, anticipating something you’re worried about is worse than the experience itself.

    Our minds love to overdramatize situations and think of the worst-case scenario. Sure, sometimes this is necessary so that you can prepare for the worst, but we tend to overdo it.

    Therefore, avoid dwelling on the future. It’s okay to plan and organize, but make sure it’s balanced. If you feel your mind drifting off into worry, gently bring it back to the now and breathe.

    Bring it back to your breath

    Your breath can be very grounding and relaxing if used correctly.

    Attentive breathing stills your mind. Therefore, make a habit of breathing deliberately to settle your mind. Breathe slowly and deeply, and give your breath complete undivided attention for a few moments until the calming effects take place.

    Every time that you remember, take a moment to breathe. When you feel yourself drifting off, gently bring your focus back. Attentive breathing will help you be more present and mindful every time you do it.

    Focus your attention

    A mindfulness practice is to focus all of your effort and attention on the task at hand – Rather than diverging or multitasking.

    When you do this, you will become absorbed in the activity. Giving everything your full undivided attention prevents your mind from drifting off, and keeps you focused on the activity at hand.

    Don’t give a half-assed effort to something while your mind is elsewhere. Be completely present with what you are doing, whether this is cleaning the dishes, watching a movie, relaxing, working, or playing a sport.

    Everyday life is filled with tedious tasks. Most of them you probably don’t even recognize. Think about whatever you are doing, whether it’s taking a step, opening a door, driving a car, or talking to someone, and do it with grace.

    Stop rushing

    To be mindful, you need to push the proactivity mentality to the sidelines. Being proactive isn’t a bad thing, but it can become excessive.

    Part of being mindful is to balance getting things done and taking your time to enjoy them. People tend to get everything done as quickly as possible so that they have plenty of time to procrastinate.

    Instead of rushing through life, slow down and pace yourself. Take your time with whatever you’re doing and understand that life is not a race. If you aim to get it done, then you are not living in the moment, you’re living in the future.

    Appreciate the present moment

    When you realize that life passes quickly, you begin to savor experiences more. When you savor experiences more, you tend to become more grateful for your experiences.

    By properly appreciating what you have, you will naturally spend longer doing it. You will become more absorbed in the process because it makes you feel good. Appreciate the people you are with, the adventures you go on, and the opportunities that are presented – Knowing that every moment is unique.

    Change will inevitably happen and life will transition to different experiences. Don’t give so much importance to time, but prioritize the process. Notice every little positive occurrence, from a sunny day to falling in love.

    Learn more about building this muscle of gratitude here:

    Sit with your emotions

    Never push your emotions away, but learn to sit with them – For better or worse. Emotions and feelings play a huge role in your life experience, and you should pay close attention to them.

    When you are attentive to your emotions, you will start to become more mindful. When you make a habit of feeling your emotions, you will move back into your body. When you try to escape them, you shift into denial and become less grounded.

    Experiencing emotions is just as important as experiencing events and situations. Avoid analyzing the emotion or wondering why you’re feeling something. Savor the good emotions when they arise, and listen to the negative ones.

    Develop bodily awareness

    Give more attention to your bodily awareness and focus on all the subtle sensations. Be deliberate with your movements and motions. Move slowly and do everything with care and compassion.

    Notice your arms, legs, fingers, toes, nose, ears. Feel the blood running through all of your body parts, the air filling up your lungs, the sweat forming on your brow. Notice the tension in your muscles, every sore, ache, and movement that your body makes.

    Every time you lose focus, bring it back to your body. Pay attention to what sensations you feel regularly, to the movement of your body, and to what it is feeling.

  • Want To Be More Open Minded? Here’s How To Actually Do It

    Want To Be More Open Minded? Here’s How To Actually Do It

    Striving to become more open minded is one of the best things you can do that yield huge rewards in your life. Not only is an open mind a massively useful tool for your own growth and self-betterment, but it opens up so many new doors in life too!

    An open mind invites you to an unfamiliar world of learning and exposure to new things, while a closed mind is like choosing to stay in a familiar cell. It may feel safe and cozy in there, but it certainly doesn’t lead you anywhere good – Not toward new experiences, beliefs, and perspectives.

     So let’s look at how you can open your mind and embrace a life that is more wholesome on every level – Because there’s a lot out there waiting to be discovered.

    What is an open mind?

    Open minded woman thinking about life

    Having an open mind means being receptive to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences. Open mindedness is commonly seen as a positive characteristic that helps you approach new situations with curiosity and a desire to evolve your understanding, instead of shutting out unfamiliar perspectives, beliefs, or ideas.

    I had no desire to evolve my understanding of life during my youth, but at the same time, I was miserable. Desperate for a solution, there came my eureka moment – Realizing I could learn my way to a happier life.

    As my mind opened to the possibility that I could change my life inside out and actually become a person I’m proud of, my life experience became so much more wholesome. Needless to say, opening my mind set me on a better path. It cultivated a curiosity about our planet which has led me to travel the world for many years, explore different cultures, practice different traditions, and meet people from all walks of life.

    The opposite of being open minded is being ignorant. We’ve all met people who shut down any opposing information just because they simply need to be right. Therefore, ignorant people will argue and combat, but make absolutely no effort to understand different perspectives, beliefs, or experiences simply because they challenge their own beliefs.

    If you want to become more open minded, ignorance is not your friend. You are a curious individual who wants to learn, even if things sound a little strange to you. Of course, hearing people out doesn’t mean you need to jump on board, but at least make an effort to try to understand where they’re coming from, and this is a great step in the right direction.

    Why is it so important to be open minded?

    Open mindedness is a prerequisite for personal growth. Although you learn passively, if you expose yourself to new things, you’ll find that your learning curve becomes much steeper. Let’s break this down:

    • Being receptive to new information allows you to learn more
    • Knowing more makes you more intelligent, competent, and wise
    • All of these things are staples for a happy life

    If you imagine knowledge as a river, having a closed mind is like building a dam. The incoming knowledge becomes a trickle, and there’s so much out there that you’ll never realize. Opening your mind on the other hand is like opening the floodgates and allowing yourself to be inundated by new ideas and information.

    Again, not all of these ideas will be good. A lot of them will be really stupid, but it’s good to at least hear them out and then make a decision. If you never expose yourself to new information and realize that there are other ways of thinking, believing, and perceiving, you will forever be stuck in familiar, yet painful patterns.

    Open mindedness is a valuable characteristic that helps you understand more about yourself, the world you live in, and everything beyond.

    Some benefits of having an open mind include:

    • Your learning curve is accelerated
    • You generally become more intelligent
    • You become wiser
    • You acknowledge and discard harmful belief systems
    • Your perception of life and oneself begins to morph
    • You become less prone to external influence
    • You gain a broader perspective of each situation rather than thinking in black and white
    • You develop critical thinking skills and become more balanced with your opinions
    • You open doors to new experiences and opportunities

    In this day and age, information spreads like wildfire which has pros and cons. You have access to so much information which is great, but there’s also a lot of misleading information. We’re constantly inundated by contradictory ideas, information, theories, and beliefs. It can be difficult to separate fact from fiction – Making it easy to discard everything we hear, when the information may be perfectly valid.

    Having an open mind in this day and age allows you to acknowledge the information you’re presented with, give it some thought, and come to a conclusion (or keep an open mind about it!) There are a lot of voices out there telling you what to believe, so it’s important to be discerning, but to not block out information just because it challenges your opinions.

    Developing an open mind allows you to acknowledge, discuss, and debate all of the information you hear without instantly discarding it or jumping on board just because it resonates with preexisting beliefs. This makes you a much more balanced person who keeps your mind open to possibility, but by staying grounded and rational in the process.

    What prevents people from being open minded?

    Closed-mindedness artwork

    People are often stuck in their ways, so they don’t have any desire to change the way they think about things. They would prefer to die in ignorance without their worldview bubbles being shattered than to go through the disorienting process of realizing that they know nothing about this world.

    Close-minded people are usually set in their beliefs, not necessarily because they’ve weighed up all sides of the argument and come to a rational conclusion, but because they actively block out information that opposes their views.

    In my observations, things like upbringing, culture, and social influence plays a big role in determining whether someone has on open mind or closed mind. For example, if you were raised in a conservative household where nobody really talked about different perspectives, you’re likely to adopt this as the norm.

    Being part of an organized religion that shuns alternate perspectives can teach you to close your mind and accept only one perspective. Likewise, some cultures and societies are generally more open minded and encourage it in education, while some cultures are not.

    There are many factors at play here, but these are some of the big ones. After all, an open mind is something that you cultivate. It’s a way of seeing the world that can be instilled and nurtured or stomped out of you. Regardless of what your hand of cards was when growing up, now your lens to see the world through depends on you, and you must take responsibility for it.

    Here are some common phrases you might hear from someone with a closed mind:

    • You’re wrong
    • I’m done talking
    • That’s bad/good
    • You can’t talk/act/think/behave like that
    • That’s controversial
    • I’m not going to talk about that
    • That’s a conspiracy
    • This is the best culture in the world
    • I live in the best country on Earth
    • That politician is evil
    • God doesn’t exist
    • Nothing happens when you die
    • Spirituality is a load of BS
    • You’re going to hell for not believing in ______
    • The world is overpopulated
    • Humanity is bad
    • People suck
    • Politicians are only out to do good/bad

    Now you’ve got an idea of how a closed mind looks. People with a close mind tend to talk in absolutes and reject any alternative view. Likewise, they seldom expose themselves to new things, stretch their minds, or have any desire to step outside of their predefined box.

    But the box isn’t a good place to live.

    I’ve learned throughout my life an important, yet humbling lesson: The more I learn, the less I know. I used to think I knew how this world worked, and I was comfortable with my limited beliefs. Many years later, I realize I know nothing. Much more than I used to, no doubt, but nothing compared to how much there is to learn.

    Wisdom is to acknowledge that we don’t know.

    It’s fine to have beliefs and opinions, don’t get me wrong. But there is a line. When you acknowledge that you simply don’t know what you don’t know and take a more humble position – You’re on your way to opening your mind to the mysteries of life and beyond.

    With that said, here are some ways you can combat ignorance:

    1. Avoid confirmation bias: Confirmation bias is a barrier to opening your mind. Confirmation bias is to unconsciously seek out information and ideas that support your point of view while rejecting anything that doesn’t. You can beat confirmation bias by consciously acknowledging all information and perspectives towards any given subject.

    2. Acknowledge the fear of change: The fear of change can prevent you from opening your mind. Often, people want to stick with what is familiar to them, even if it causes them to suffer. Therefore, if you have difficulty opening your mind, identify whether you have a resistance to change, because this could be why.

    3. Fight against the ego: Close-minded people feel that they always need to be right, and usually assume that they already know everything. Realize when your ego is preventing you from admitting you don’t know something, and take steps to balance it. Practice listening to people you disagree with and having rational conversations with them.

    4. Let go of control: The need for control often leads to a combative attitude, because you don’t want to be wrong. Question whether you know the answer, or whether your desire for control is speaking. Actively let go of control of being right or looking good, and you’ll find it easier to acknowledge and accept other ideas.

    5. Stop conforming: The need to be accepted by other people is a big reason why you’re staying in their camp. Let’s face it, conformity is a killer because it prevents you from thinking as an individual. Your desire to be liked puts you in a box, so it’s important to realize when you feel the need to be accepted by others and combat this urge to be accepted.

    How to open your mind

    Woman opening her mind with books

    Now let’s look at some ways that you can open your mind. Treat it as a practice, as the more you do it the better you become at it, and the more your worldview evolves. Opening your mind can be confronting because you’re forced to look at your ignorance.

    Be curious to know more

    Naturally, the more curious you are, the more open minded you will become. When you genuinely want to understand new information because these understandings can better your life, you tend to learn a lot more, quicker. Therefore, develop a curiosity about the world around you and try to understand everyone’s perspective, even if you don’t resonate with it.

    Actively seek out knowledge

    Always strive to learn as much as you can about everything you can. There’s always an opportunity to learn more about any given subject, as long as you put in the time and effort. Talk to people, research, experiment, read books, and watch informative videos. Make learning a lifestyle and it’s going to open your mind as you’re exposing yourself to more information.

    Get used to asking questions

    Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Most people are open books and they’re happy to talk about what they know. There is so much to learn from every person, and sometimes we just need to ask, otherwise we’ll never know. Learning from people is just a matter of asking the right questions, so work on developing this habit of asking people about themselves, their opinions, and their beliefs on different topics.

    Practice critical thinking, don’t just jump on board

    Make sure that you think critically when building an opinion about something. Instead of just taking a side with any given subject, seek out an understanding of all perspectives See what makes more sense when comparing views instead of jumping on the bandwagon. Think about whether your opinions are based on an emotional response, or whether they’re rational.

    Critically assessing takes some looking inwards, and requires you to introspect and dig into your belief systems. Always assume that there’s more to know, and always leave the door open to more information that you might learn about the topic in the future.

    Allow people to give you suggestions

    People who are close minded tend to shoot down any advice or suggestions unless they’re in alignment with their own beliefs because it comes from a place of ‘I know what’s best’. Needless to say, this doesn’t do anyone any favors.

    To have an open mind, you should have a mentality where advice and suggestions are welcome. Even if you decide that the suggestions don’t serve you, they should be considered. Allow yourself to dwell on different suggestions and ideas, think about how they could be viable, and if there’s potential in them.

    Allowing people to advise you doesn’t mean mindlessly jumping on any suggestion someone gives you, but at least give it some consideration. That’s what an open mind is really about, considering possibilities.

    Avoid combatting differing opinions

    To become more open minded, you need to force the habit of hearing out other people’s opinions. A key ingredient of close mindedness is to combat different opinions, ideas, or perspectives. Therefore, you need to recognize when you’re unconsciously shooting down other perspectives or arguing against them, and listen.

    Of course, the other perspective doesn’t need to be right. You don’t need to believe it, but you should make a habit of hearing different opinions. This can be difficult to do at first, especially if you’re used to blocking out opposing ideas, but the more you catch yourself, listen, and try to understand, the more open minded you will become.

    Expose yourself to new things

    The way I see it is there’s a direct correlation between the amount that you expose yourself to new things and the more open minded you become. It’s quite simple really. Someone who is close minded will stay within their realm of comfort. They will likely not be open to new experiences, or to expose themselves to different things in the world.

    Therefore, by exposing yourself to life, you begin to gain a broader perspective. When I say expose yourself, I mean meet new people, converse about new topics or perspectives, try new activities, check out different types of media, work different jobs, see new cultures and places, and get out of your comfort zone. Regularly try things that are new experiences for you, and you’ll notice that your horizons will broaden very quickly.

    Be aware of confirmation bias

    Confirmation bias is when we agree with anything just because it supports our own beliefs, and disagree with anything that doesn’t. We all do it to some degree, but it’s something we need to be careful of if we want to become open minded – because an open minded person will want to understand all perspectives and make a balanced opinion.

    Be open to opportunities

    Be open to opportunities and take a more proactive stance on seeking them out. Think about where this new job could take you, where could that friendship lead you. As long as you give opportunities a chance when they present themselves, you’ll be surprised where some of these opportunities may lead, and what you may learn from them.

    Be humble

    Humility is an important quality for anyone seeking to open their mind. Part of humility is realizing that you are always a student in life, despite how much you know. If you take the perspective that you’re always a student and that there’s always something to learn from others, you’re never going to stop seeking out information and listening to alternate perspectives.

    What it means to open your mind

    Expose yourself to new cultures to open your mind

    In a nutshell, having an open mind leads to a higher quality of life. An open mind facilitates an easier passage of information, allowing you to learn more about a broader range of things, and develop your understanding, point of view, and perspectives.

    I would never believe some of the things I believe now if I never opened my mind to the possibility, actively sought knowledge, and explored all facets of life rather than staying in the comfortable realm of understanding I previously spent my life in. I’m so glad I made that leap, and if you suspect that you are close minded, then striving to open your mind is the best thing you can do for your growth and development.

    We all have this ability as an open mind is a seed that must be cultivated. The more you work on it by seeking different perspectives, the more your mind will expand.

  • How To Embrace The Next Chapter In Life (And Thrive)

    How To Embrace The Next Chapter In Life (And Thrive)

    Life can feel cruisy when you’re in routine. You live in a familiar place, go to a familiar job, and see familiar people. You might spend years in a comfortable situation, but sooner or later, everything shifts – leaving you feeling disoriented as if the ground itself has fallen beneath your feet.

    See, life has chapters.

    Sometimes these chapters are distinct, and sometimes they’re subtle. Sometimes they’re difficult, and sometimes they’re wonderful. Regardless of how stable your life condition seems, each situation will come to an end in its own time.

    When it does, it’s time to turn the page.

    During these times of transition, you will naturally feel lost because you’ve become accustomed to your life situation. At times, it might feel like the world is ending as you step into an unfamiliar situation.

    But… it’s natural.

    When one chapter is coming to a close, you can either embrace the next chapter in life knowing that the universe is inevitably nudging you forward, or you can hold on relentlessly to what has already passed.

    So let’s at how you can navigate major transitions and embrace the next chapter in life when one is currently coming to a close. New beginnings can be a particularly challenging time as you step away from the safe and familiar, but I promise you that they can be just as beautiful.

    What is a new chapter in life?

    In Warnambool Australia before embarking on a new chapter in life by moving to Peru in the next couple weeks in 2024

    Like a book, our lives are structured in chapters that unfold through experiences, situations, relationships, and new phases. Each chapter represents a distinct stage of your life, often accompanied by uncertainty, excitement, fear, or a sense of mourning.

    A new chapter often begins after significant events that change the trajectory of our lives.

    Consider it a new beginning.

    Your sense of stability is tied to your life situation, so new chapters can uproot everything and push you into unfamiliar territory – which may not always be the desired outcome. This is why new life chapters can feel so turbulent, especially if you have been in the same situation for a long time because your identity is tied to that familiar situation.

    A new beginning might not be what you want, but it’s important to see it as a natural evolution of your life story. After all, if your life situation never changes, your life will be very stagnant. Life is constantly changing, whether you will it or not, and sometimes those changes reshape our entire lives.

    A new chapter in life could be:

    • A career transition: Graduating from school, starting a new job, or pursuing further education.
    • A change within a relationship: Entering a new relationship, getting married, or going through a breakup.
    • A change in direction: Changing course when being unfulfilled with your life and doing something different marks a new chapter
    • Pivotal moments in life: Major life events such as becoming a parent, retiring, or moving to a new city.
    • Spiritual growth: Rebirths, spiritual awakenings, and changes in your perception of life and oneself.

    Recognizing that each chapter is a natural segment in life helps you frame it as a new beginning rather than something you’re losing.

    As a new chapter is beginning, we have two options…

    We can feel the fear and step into the unknown consciously, knowing that it’s ultimately for the best even if it doesn’t feel like it, or resist it and try to reverse course which leads to more pain.

    Starting a new chapter in life can be difficult, but it can also be wonderful. You never know when a new chapter will begin and what it will entail, but when it does, you must step into it.

    Recognizing when it’s time to transition

    Change is something I’ve become well-accustomed to in life. Time moves on for us all, but I’ve picked a particular life path where the turning chapters are ever apparent. Let me tell you how I deal with big life transitions from my perspective.

    Having been traveling for more than 8 years now, there’s not a whole lot of stability in my life. During this time I’ve lived in 8 countries, been in several serious relationships, and worked many jobs in different fields.

    Let me tell you about some of the significant chapters of my life in a nutshell…

    Like many people, my childhood memories are grounded in the familiarity of my old home. It was a time when everything felt simple. Inevitably, adolescence hit and things got a little rocky. This chapter was tainted with depression and loneliness as I struggled to find myself – and involved some of the most difficult times of my life.

    But the real shift happened during my first big adventure: a year studying in Brazil and backpacking across South America. During that year a lot of things happened, and the trajectory of my life dramatically changed.

    This was a period of my life where I tasted true freedom. It was a time of self-exploration, meeting incredible people, enjoying a good dating life, and genuinely feeling like I was thriving for the first time. During this year abroad I grew a lot as a person – especially regarding maturity, competence, and independence.

    Returning to Australia for the next year, I felt reborn. I had a newfound confidence about the future as I moved in with friends and settled into a rhythm that felt aligned. That momentum carried me to Vietnam where I spent the next three years teaching English, building a lifestyle I loved, traveling often, and diving into a long-term relationship.

    From there, I spent eight months in Mexico and Guatemala, volunteering in hostels and embracing the spontaneity of travel. I then landed in the U.S. where I worked in bars and restaurants for the following year. This was a particularly challenging year, but like every chapter, it had its purpose, and it came and went.

    Then came a significant turning point: six months spent working at a shamanic healing center in Ecuador. This was a transformative time where I immersed myself in these ancient traditions and felt more connected to my path than ever before.

    Returning to Australia after 5 years gave me a chance to reconnect and appreciate family, reflect on these years abroad, and work hard on my projects. Now, back in Latin America, I’m diving deeper into the shamanic traditions and really focusing on creating a financial shift. At the time of writing this, I have been traveling with my current partner for the past 5 months who I met in Peru.

    We have thoroughly enjoyed this chapter of life with one another, but as with every situation, all things eventually come to an end. The other day we decided to part ways at the end of the month (she is flying home and I will most likely stay in the country to work). When I read this article again, likely I’ll be in a very different life situation, once again.

    But this time, even though there is some sadness, there is joy. There is an excitement for the future, now knowing how to let go of familiarity and go with the flow.

    Each chapter has brought its own highlights, challenges, and most importantly, lessons. Looking back, I see the beauty of each phase of my life and appreciate how each distinct phase has molded me into the person I am today.

    It’s beautiful because I have been through this many times. Rather than focusing on the loss, I see the joy – the memories we have made together. It will feel disorienting of course having now identified with this situation, but that’s okay. It’s just one more layer of the self-discovery journey.

    The changing chapters of my life’s narrative have taught me some important lessons about the nature of impermanence. Life is an impermanent process. Nothing survives the current of time, and all things change, transmute, and perish in their time.

    Every situation, every person, and probably the universe itself at some point too. Change is consistent, and nothing lasts forever besides change. From this perspective, big life changes are natural. Life will constantly change and before you know it, your time is coming to an end.

    So why fight it? What good will trying to prolong a situation do, knowing that it inevitably must come to an end?

    Part of life is allowing it to move on to the next chapter with grace, and the more you step into it without resistance, the more you will embrace the ever-changing flow of life and let it take you where it needs to.

    What is the significance of life chapters?

    Each new chapter in life represents a new beginning – an evolution in your life journey. View each chapter as a stepping stone for your personal and spiritual growth. If you stay in the same chapter your whole life, the narrative of your life may look a little flat.

    As long as the chapters continue turning, your life will never be stagnant. If you’re on a spiritual growth journey, stagnation is something you want to avoid. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable and enjoying your life situation, but it mustn’t compromise your growth.

    Likewise, it’s important to recognize that life does its own thing. When the time is ripe, life will find a way to thrust you out of the familiar to experience something new. So the changing of your life isn’t bad, it’s how the world molds you to walk your highest timeline.

    Each chapter in life is an invitation for self-reflection, personal growth, and inner change. They’re times to recalibrate and step toward your higher calling.

    In my eyes, each chapter serves a different purpose. One chapter may revolve around soul-searching, and another may be dedicated to family, finances, or self-actualization. Each chapter in life teaches us different things – and should be perceived as another segment of the never-ending personal growth journey.

    This is why you need to embrace the next chapter in your life and recognize when life is nudging you forward.

    Why you need to embrace the next chapter in life

    Embracing the next chapter in life when moving to Guatemala for a fresh start

    When you’re embarking on a new chapter in life, feeling some fear is normal. After all, you become familiar with your situation regardless of whether that situation serves you or not. Even if that familiar situation causes you pain, that pain is home.

    Naturally, it’s going to feel scary to strip yourself away from something you have identified with. The longer you have identified with that particular situation or circumstance, the more daunting it will be when it comes to an end.

    Your life situation is always progressing, and you can never go back to the way things were. You can either embrace the next chapter in life and let it take you for a ride, or deny life change and suffocate in it. A plant will never outgrow the pot it sits in. Your mind needs to feed, and if you always give it the same food, it will starve.

    You can still have fond memories of your past, but we all grow, develop, and change. We all have changing interests, values, and identities. If you’re changing internally but refusing to allow your life situation to mold, you’re going to outgrow your enclosure. 

    Your enclosure – Your setting, interests, and the people you associate with also need to expand. Your external reality must accommodate the changes in your internal reality, otherwise, you’re going to hold yourself back.

    People can spend their entire lives in the same situation which leads to stagnation. These people develop an aversion to anything unfamiliar, which results in a detrimental habit of staying in your comfort zone.

    When you recognize the subtle signs of stagnation or an unexplainable pull toward something new, even if it’s unknown, is a trigger. This is a sign that it’s time to step into something new.

    Often, feelings of restlessness or a recurring desire for change signals that you’re ready to take a leap of faith. Other times, external circumstances such as the end of a relationship, transitioning into the workforce, or completing a big project create a natural juncture for transition.

    If you’re unsure whether it’s time for a new chapter, ask yourself:

    Do you feel a sense of fulfillment with where you are?

    Are you growing, or do you feel like you’re in a loop?

    Do you feel like you’re outgrowing your current situation?

    Are you curious to try something different and change things up?

    Transitions will happen passively of course, but you can also create them. Recognizing when to transition is ultimately about aligning your actions with your evolving aspirations, values, and goals, and taking steps towards your desired future.

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    How to embrace the next chapter in life

    Embrace the next chapter in life

    Embracing a new chapter in life can be a particularly difficult process, so here we’re going to look at how you can make this transition with grace, and step forward into the next phase of your life.

    As we’ve mentioned earlier in this article, it’s good to see each new chapter as a stepping stone towards a better life. Sometimes we need to put in some hard yards and step into territory we would prefer not to, but ultimately it’s for the best.

    When there is a big transition in my life, I like to think of it from a spiritual perspective. I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason and that the universe will continue pushing us closer to our highest timeline as long as we are open to the lessons and work with our life circumstances rather than resist them.

    This perspective definitely helps me see the bigger picture of it all, and step into change rather than quiver at the thought of it.

    Look at life as a journey where each stage of your life takes you to the next. Reflecting on past lessons and using your life situation as a springboard for self-discovery is important – therefore you always have something to gain.

    This shift may also mean reevaluating old beliefs or patterns that no longer serve you. New beginnings are a time of spiritual cleansing. They’re a time to let go of the baggage and move towards the emotions, mindsets, beliefs, people, and circumstances that serve you.

    Likewise, recalibrating and thinking about what you want your life to look like is also important when embracing the next chapter in life. Setting intentions, visualizing your goals, and taking action to move in the direction of your highest good helps you adapt to your new path and smooths out the transition.

    Remember, life change is good.

    There is so much to gain by going through new situations, feeling new emotions, and getting out of your comfort zone. When you become more familiar with a broad range of different experiences, you gain inner stability that isn’t bound to attachments, situations, or people.

    It’s freeing.

    Strive to create as much positive change as you can in your life, and your life will only get better.

    How to emotionally prepare for a big life transition

    Sometimes these big life transitions are expected, and you consciously create them. At other times, they will hit you like a train and destabilize your reality. At times you may not have the luxury if you’re thrown into it, but if you do, some mental preparation goes a long way.

    To prepare emotionally, focus on building self-compassion, forgive yourself for any perceived failures, and let go of expectations. Stepping into a new chapter in life may be similar to what you expected, and it may be drastically different.

    You just don’t know, and that’s part of the charm – the uncertainty. Accepting that some anxiety or discomfort is part of the process can ease the stress of entering a new phase.

    Being open to new experiences is also important. Remind yourself that growth is inherently uncomfortable, but it’s also deeply rewarding.

    Words have power, so the vocabulary you use when referring to this new chapter sets the tone. If you’re constantly telling yourself how horrible it is, then this next chapter of your life is going to be laced with pain. If you switch your tone and look at the positives, then it may be a very different experience.

    Choosing language that feels motivating can reinforce a positive outlook on the transition. I’ve recently learned just how powerful perspective is, and it can make a world of difference. Your perspective can change a situation from being awful – to being exciting.

    You just need to tap into the positive emotions surrounding the experience, even if there seem to be few because there is always another side of the coin with any situation.

    This is where cognitive reframing is a handy tool.

    Instead of framing a new chapter as an ending or loss, try seeing it as an opportunity, fresh start, or new adventure. As I’m soon to be going in a different direction from someone I care about, sure it’s sad, but I think about the adventure. The freedom. The opportunities and experiences I couldn’t have while I was with this partner.

    Suddenly, I feel a whole lot better about the situation. It may take time, especially if you are hurting. So do the healing, mourn if you need to mourn, honor the time you had in that situation, and then focus on the silver lining.

    When you are mentally prepared, here’s how you can tackle big life transitions:

    Stepping into the unknown with grace

    1. Cultivate the desire for change:
      We’ve already talked about some of the benefits of changing up your life situation, now you need to actively seek out those benefits. Rather than dwelling on what has passed, set your eyes on the doorways that are opening.

    2. Have trust that it’s all happening for a reason:
      What helps me navigate difficult transitions is my faith in god. I always trust that things will be okay in the end and that sooner or later the turbulent transition will segway to something much better. Therefore, have trust that it will all work out, and before you know it you’re going to be in a better position than you once were.

    3. Let go of what no longer serves you:
      When a situation in your life ends, it’s because that situation no longer serves you. Maybe it did for a while, but eventually, the universe is going to nudge you along – and deeper into your spiritual journey. Let the past go with grace, perhaps holding fond memories, but knowing that the universe is moving you on for a reason – for you.

    4. Pursue the next opportunity that arises:
      As they say, when one door closes another door opens. When you’re in a transition period, seek out new opportunities and see where they may lead you. Look at the opportunity for change in everything you do. I can guarantee you that something great is just around the corner, so find out what it is.

    Navigating major life transitions is generally not an easy process. However, you should be active about it. It’s important to start calibrating to the life you truly want and using this period of transition as a catalyst for growth.

    Remember to always embrace the next chapter in life, for better or for worse (although it’s never really for worse), and you’re walking a path to beautiful new places.

    I wish you all the best in this next chapter of life, make it count!

  • How To Utilize Internal Self-Reinforcement To Accelerate Personal Growth

    How To Utilize Internal Self-Reinforcement To Accelerate Personal Growth

    Developing self-love is an important milestone for anyone on a personal growth journey. Besides making you feel much more wholesome, self-love is required to cultivate positive characteristics such as self-esteem, charisma, and confidence.

    The only problem is that lacking self-love is comparable to being caught in a tar pit. You’re stuck – And all attempts to climb out of this hole are futile.

    Because you don’t value yourself, you feel worthless. Because you feel worthless, you value yourself less. Being caught in this pit is a universal experience – One we all experience at times. However, it’s not a place you want to stay as doing so degrades the quality of your life tremendously.

    That’s why it’s important to learn the role of positive self-reinforcement – To help pry you out of this pit by drilling in healthier ways of viewing oneself.

    What is positive self-reinforcement?

    Positive self-reinforcement to cultivate self-love

    Your reality is a reflection of your self-image. If you see yourself as a loser, you’re going to carve out a reality that’s congruent with this identity. Your outer reality wants to have a congruency with your inner reality, as your reality is a projection of your inner workings.

    Positive self-reinforcement is to associate desirable traits, characteristics, feelings, and thoughts with yourself via drilling and repetition. Think about positive self-reinforcement as reprogramming a faulty system to synchronize with a higher perspective.

    In this article, we’re looking at your internal reality. If you want to learn how to alter your perception of your external reality, follow the link below:

    A tool to facilitate growth and healing

    The more you associate positive qualities with yourself, the quicker you will begin unconsciously shifting towards these ideals.

    The most common barrier holding people back is their own perception of themselves, because the world mirrors how we think and feel.

    Commonly, people experience self-worth issues – Resulting in being stepped on, pushed around and taken advantage of. But when people flip this perspective, the external reality accommodates this interior shift.

    The antidote to limiting belief systems

    Negative self-perceptions stunt your personal growth and result in limiting belief systems. Many of these limiting belief systems are unconscious, and you probably don’t recognize when you’re reinforcing something negative about yourself.

    The key to stopping reinforcing negative self-perceptions is to identify each time you put yourself down. Here are some things to think about:

    How often do you roast yourself for mucking up?

    Do you beat yourself up for failing?

    Do you believe you should be doing better in life by now, so you resent yourself?

    What you associate with yourself can instill motivation, encouragement, and support, but it can also strip you of these things. This is why it’s important to treat yourself as you would treat your pet, your partner, or a family member.

    To learn more about limiting belief systems, click on the link below:

    Changing self-perception with positive self-reinforcement

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    Words and phrases anchor ideas. You want to anchor the idea that you are progressing in some way, that you’re going forward rather than backward. If you frequently tell yourself how much life sucks, soon you will believe it because you’re anchoring this idea into your reality.

    The technique of positive self-reinforcement is to hijack this phenomenon, to improve the way you see yourself – By using a specific phrase to reinforce a better idea to yourself.

    This is why you should practice anchoring positive and impactful phrases with yourself to reinforce a better idea of yourself. So watch your vocabulary, and be aware of how you think, feel, and speak about yourself.

    Drilling in positive perceptions of yourself

    What becomes your point of focus heavily influences your life. You will gravitate towards a self-image corresponding with the traits and characteristics of your focus – So make sure they’re good for you!

    Think of all the ideas that you associate with yourself. Write them out like this:

    • I’m nobody, I could never be someone that people look up to
    • I am awkward and don’t make friends easy
    • I fail at everything I do
    • I’m not worthy of respect or admiration
    • I should be doing better in life
    • Life is difficult
    • It’s scary
    • I’m dumb

    Identify whether these ideas bring you up or down, and think of a more positive idea that you can replace with it. For the list above, some examples include:

    • People don’t know me well because I haven’t put myself out there
    • I’m working on my social skills
    • There’s many things I’ve done well in my life
    • I am worthy of respect because I am a good person
    • I’m doing the best I can
    • Life is a challenge
    • It’s an opportunity to grow
    • I’m learning more every day

    Think of what needs improvement

    Write down repeating situations or occurrences where you beat yourself up. If you are constantly reinforcing the belief that life is terrible, then you will continue to move down the path of a terrible life, because it has become your point of focus.

    If you think of yourself as a loser, is this going to help you feel good about yourself? Likewise, if you don’t see yourself as someone who is sociable, is this going to help you become more sociable? No. In most cases, it’s going to have the opposite effect.

    Exercise self-awareness to identify negative self-perceptions, and understand the repercussions of them. Replace these terms by adjusting your vocabulary and associating better ideas with yourself.

    Utilize affirmations

    Woman with self-love embracing her life

    Affirmations can be powerful tools to drill in certain ways of thinking about yourself. By affirming characteristics with yourself, you will begin to believe them.

    An affirmation is when you repeatedly say a phrase and associate the feelings of that phrase with yourself. The idea of affirmations is to work on your conscious mind by deconditioning old programming that doesn’t serve you, and replacing with it healthier programming that does.

    Here are some examples of different affirmations. You can use these, but I suggest making your own that are relevant to what you need to work on.

    Affirmations can be worded differently. Experiment with different phrases to see what impacts you the most.

      • I am strong

      • I choose to be more assertive

      • I’m actually quite resilient

      • I like to challenge myself

      • I love the person I’m becoming

      • I am becoming happier

      • My life is getting better

      • I can’t believe how much work I’m doing on myself

      • Every day I feel a little healthier

      • Life is becoming exciting

      • I’m funny

      • Everyone loves me

      • I embrace new ways of doing things

      • I’m interested in trying new things

      • I’ve got this!

    How to make affirmations more effective

    • Feel into it: It’s important to really feel the phrase you’re saying. It should be a feeling that you’re trying to resuscitate, not just words themselves. So associate the phrase with a feeling, and make sure there is meaning behind the words.

    • Believe it: The best affirmations you actually believe. And if you don’t you make yourself believe them. Have you ever hyped yourself up or assured yourself by saying something like “I’ve got this” without even realizing it? It just sorta comes out as habit? That’s because it’s genuine and you actually believe it. This won’t always be the case but try to believe the affirmation.

    • Take steps: If you go straight to “I’m powerful beyond measure” while you still feel weak and insecure, your unconscious mind won’t make the leap. You need to make steps as a way to bridge the gap between desire and reality. A better path would be to start with “I’m becoming more powerful”. Once you feel better about yourself, then go to “I’m powerful”.

    • Don’t use negative statements: A negative statement is something like “I am not insecure”. Even though the intent is good, the keyword is counterproductive. Your mind will make an association with that keyword and ignore the rest, so make sure the statement is positive.

    • I choose statements: While your unconscious mind can argue what you say you are, it can’t argue by saying that you choose to become someone/something. Try using I choose statements such as “I choose to be more assertive” rather than going for “I am assertive”.

    • Quality over quantity: Take your time to speak each phrase and load it with meaning. Take it slow, savor the feelings. Don’t just rapid-fire because they’re not going to do much.

    Visualize self-compassion

    Visualize yourself giving yourself love.

    As your ability to visualize can actually really move things internally, constantly seeing yourself support yourself is a good way to reap the benefits of that support.

    What I often do when I’m feeling down is visualize my higher self coming down and reassuring me. He will tell me that I’m doing great, and guide me to become more like him.

    Try this yourself.

    Let’s say you feel guilt about something. Picture your higher self appearing and telling you that it’s okay. Your higher self can sit with you and reassure you that we’re all human and make mistakes and that you shouldn’t hold onto something that happened.

    The more you make a practice of supporting yourself via visualization, the more support you’re going to feel, so definitely give it a try. To learn about my own experiences with this technique, click on the link below, and let’s go!

  • Here’s Why Life Begins Where The Comfort Zone Ends

    Here’s Why Life Begins Where The Comfort Zone Ends

    Have you ever heard the saying ‘Life begins where the comfort zone ends?’ Well, turns out there’s a whole lot of truth to it. Staying in your comfort zone is like drinking a slow slow-acting poison. At first, it feels great, but then slowly over time, the quality of your life deteriorates, leaving you with unfilled desires and a whole lot of regrets.

    Your comfort zone is one of the biggest barriers you’ll face in your life because naturally, people seek comfort at the expense of new experiences. Compounding the issue, the comfort zone poses as the good guy: The protector who keeps you safe, when in reality it’s your prison warden.

    Unfortunately, many people die in this mental prison cell under the illusion that they’re better off there. So how can you make sure you don’t suffer the same fate? Let’s have a look at why people say life begins where the comfort zone ends, and how you can learn to prioritize doing things that you’re a little bit scared to do – for your own growth, learning, and happiness.

    What is the comfort zone?

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    The comfort zone refers to your realm of familiarity. Anything that prevents you from changing because it’s unfamiliar and daunting is outside of your comfort zone. But the only reason it’s outside of your comfort zone is because you haven’t yet built the familiarity, competence, and comfort with that activity.

    See, it can be a paradox. We often don’t push ourselves to do things we’re not familiar with doing because they’re daunting. But the only way to become familiar with these activities is by getting out of your comfort zone and doing them.

    Even though the comfort zone acts as a haven, it’s also restrictive. Personal growth involves pushing yourself, trying new things, and sailing into uncharted territory that may be uncomfortable, but necessary for your own good – which is why the comfort zone is a natural enemy of it.

    This is why we say that life begins where the comfort zone ends because life is very restrictive when we spend it inside the comfort zone. It’s not until we begin stepping out of it that life starts to fruit in various ways.

    So let’s look at what you can do to break out of this trap of familiarity so that you can get the most out of your life experience.

    Why the comfort zone is not your friend

    Image your comfort zone as a bubble – a cozy warm bubble where everything is safe and familiar. This might involve going to work, seeing the same friends, and doing the same things. These activities are ordinary to you because you’re always doing them, meaning you’re not stretching yourself in any way which leads to complacency.

    If you have driven a car for a while, you are probably comfortable driving it, therefore that activity is inside your comfort zone. But if you’re starting a new job in a different industry, you’re not familiar with that process, therefore it’s probably outside your comfort zone because it likely makes you feel nervous, anxious, or daunted.

    The comfort zone is deceptive because it deters you from doing things that you’re a little afraid of doing. Instead of pushing yourself and growing, you settle for the mundane.

    Some people will avoid doing anything outside of their daily routine. They will avoid trying new things, meeting new people, having new experiences, or taking risks. Instead of exploring their realities and discovering new paths to walk (and that they may find a lot of happiness in), they stick to what they know. There’s nothing wrong with a little comfort, but avoiding anything that you’re uncomfortable with leads to a stagnant and unfulfilling life.

    You might be offered a new job but fear the consequences of leaving your old one. You could have the urge to travel but worry about everything that may go wrong. You might be lonely and want to expand your social circles, but get anxious when meeting new people.

    Even if the worst happens, it’s usually not as bad as we’ve built it up to be. But you don’t do it anyway! So you stay in the same painful circumstances while your life ticks away. But if you did make a habit of facing the discomfort of doing new things, your quality of life would become so much better.

    I encourage you not to get too comfortable. You deserve the best life possible, and you can only have that life by constantly stretching yourself in ways that don’t always feel so good.

    If you want to get the full experience out of life, you need to make a habit of stretching yourself regularly. The best experiences in life are usually the result of doing what you were once afraid to do.

    Therefore it’s important to do what you can to expand your comfort zone, break the fear barrier, and expose yourself to the unfamiliar.

    Examples of comfort zones (Different types of comfort zones)

    Life Begins Where The Comfort Zone Ends

    Now that we’ve briefly looked at what comfort zones are, here are some examples of comfort zones across different areas of life. While you may feel confident and competent in one area of your life, it doesn’t mean you do in all of them. Regardless, it’s important to identify where your fears lie and take proactive steps to overcome them.

     

    1. Social Comfort Zones

    Social comfort zones are probably one of the most challenging areas for people in general, especially those who are shy or introverted. A social comfort zone pertains to your comfort in engaging in social events, meeting new people, striking up conversations, etc. As people are a big part of life, struggling to get out of your social comfort zone can have major consequences on the quality of your life.

    People who struggle with this form of comfort zone tend to stick with the same group of friends, avoid meeting new people, avoid speaking up or asserting boundaries, refuse to network or pursue new opportunities that arise, and stay in familiar social environments like their home or the same cafe/restaurant.

     

    2. Career Comfort Zones

    Another example of a comfort zone is within your career. Sometimes people get complacent in their job, even if it’s far from ideal – just because they’re familiar with it. Of course, if you want to climb the ladder and make the most out of your life, you will need to get uncomfortable in your work life sometimes, because that’s how you build your competence, knowledge, and skillsets.

    People who are in their career comfort zone tend to stick to the same role for years and avoid taking on new challenges or pursuing promotions. They generally stay in the same line of work, even if they hate it because it’s familiar territory – it feels secure. Likewise, they also tend to stick to the safe and familiar and not take healthy risks such as volunteering for new projects, speaking up in meetings, or suggesting innovative ideas. 

    In my life for example, I was definitely out of my comfort zone when I started coaching people and stepping into shamanic healing. At times I thought it would be easier to just stick to what I know – such as teaching English, but luckily the drive for life change overrode the desire to do something that wasn’t fulfilling. The more I did it, the more competent I became to the point it became second nature.

     

    3. Lifestyle Comfort Zones

    The lifestyle comfort zone is another example of a limitation in life. A lifestyle comfort zone refers to being stuck in the same patterns, programs, and routines, and generally repeating them endlessly because you’re comfortable with them.

    This type of comfort zone often involves sticking to familiar meals instead of trying new cuisines or cooking methods. It often involves staying in your current living situation (house, apartment, city, job) even if it isn’t ideal, having the same daily/weekly routines, and not pursuing new hobbies or interests because trying something new is intimidating.

     

    4. Financial Comfort Zones

    People often get comfortable in their financial situation, and don’t strive to change it. Even people who don’t have much money and resultingly live a subpar life because of it may find solace in the ‘stability’ of an unideal situation. If you feel daunted about improving your financial situation or striving to do bigger things with your life, it could be because you’re stuck in your financial comfort zone.

    The financial comfort zone involves avoiding budgeting or saving for things you could really use, and avoiding pursuing financial goals, planning, and investing. You are also likely to self-sabotage or avoid pursuing bigger goals that could potentially change your financial situation because you prefer the certainty of living the way you have always known.

     

    5. Wellness Comfort Zones

    The wellness comfort zone refers to staying within the bounds of comfort regarding your health and wellness habits. This may involve sticking to a bad diet because it’s normal, avoiding exercise even if you’re overweight, and refusing to go to therapy, even if you’re struggling and can’t seem to get over it, just because it’s normal.

    Unfortunately, many people do things that aren’t good their their health and wellness because they find comfort in doing those things. Avoid this trap and make some uncomfortable decisions to better your wellness. Your future self will thank you, trust me.

     

    6. Emotional Comfort Zones

    The emotional comfort zone is an example of staying in the safe and familiar when it comes to emotional expression and connection. People who are accustomed to behaving or expressing themselves in a certain way may not want to change because they’re familiar with it, even if there are better alternatives.

    For example, if you avoid opening up to people because you’ve always been that way, even if you desperately want stronger social connections, then this may be because you’re staying in your emotional comfort zone. It can involve holding onto the way you were raised because it feels natural, even if it’s not healthy, resisting challenging your beliefs and mindsets instead of exploring new perspectives and staying in unhealthy relationships where you’re unhappy.

     

    7. Personal Growth Comfort Zones

    Getting stuck in the personal growth comfort zone is often why we don’t pursue great personal growth opportunities and work on ourselves. First of all, personal growth can be tough because it often makes us uncomfortable when stretching ourselves and confronting aspects of our lives that we prefer not to. Of course, it’s easier to just not work on ourselves, but then nothing will change. After all, it’s called ‘working’ on ourselves for a reason.

    Some people prefer to stay as who they are, even if it causes them to suffer. Likewise, we become familiar with ourselves, and where we currently are. Changing who we are is a threat to the ego, and can be a big enough incentive not to change at all. So more often than not, people don’t strive to better themselves which is a sad reality.

    Some examples of a personal growth comfort zone include avoiding pushing yourself, trying new things, facing fears, confronting your demons, or developing new skills. In this comfort zone, you are likely to stick to familiar habits even if they are detrimental to your personal growth.

     

    8. Adventure comfort zone

    The last example of a comfort zone I want to address here is your comfort zone relating to your sense of adventure in life. This is what people often think of when someone mentions ‘comfort zone’ – like going bungee jumping, or traveling the world solo. Yes, these are part of the adventure comfort zone, but the adventure comfort zone involves a whole lot more than this.

    For example, someone who avoids traveling to new places, seeing new things, and only sticks to familiar places is staying in this comfort zone. Likewise, someone who doesn’t try out new activities or hobbies whether it’s hiking, swimming, traveling, or sightseeing is likely stuck in their comfort zone.

    How to expand your comfort zone

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    To start something new, there will usually be some fear around it. Because life begins where the comfort zone ends, you should make a habit of pushing yourself a little harder to expand your realm of comfort and raise the quality of your life.

    But don’t worry…

    Having some fear is completely natural when doing something that you’re not familiar with. However, until you push through that barrier, it will always be a fear which is why it’s better to tackle it sooner than later, because you’re just doing yourself a disservice if you don’t.

    So let’s have a look at some things you can do to get out of your comfort zone.

    Change your outlook

    A big part of getting out of your comfort zone relates to the way you think about things. People tend to stay in their comfort zones because they have limiting belief systems telling them to.

    The mind will tell them that it’s not worth it, or it’s too difficult, or that everything is fine the way it is. When you’re stepping into the unknown, the mind can become your worst enemy. That’s why it’s very important to address your mindsets and identify whether they are helping you, or reinforcing the already big wall that you need to climb.

    Get into the habit of challenging your belief systems, and when you win the support of your mind, everything will change.

    Look into your fears

    To start something new, there will usually be some fear around it. This is completely natural when doing something that you’re not familiar with. Until you push through that barrier, it remains a daunting mystery. It remains uncertain, and you don’t know how much value it can add to your life until you try it.

    But if you don’t look into these fears, it will always be a mystery as to why you feel so daunted to do that new thing. Therefore, when you’re feeling a deep fear about changing something up, sit with those feelings and look into them. Are they rational or irrational? Are they based on past experiences, or where do you think they came from?

    The more you look into your fears, the easier it will become to step into the unknown.

    Expose yourself to new things regularly

    Exposure erodes uncertainty. Repetition leads to familiarity.

    If you talk to new people every day, the practice becomes easier. Eventually, you become comfortable with meeting new people because it becomes second nature. Later down the track, you might question your life without those people, but you would never know unless you took the opportunity to be uncomfortable.

    There is only one path to familiarity, and that’s by doing it anyway. Realize that most fear is exacerbated, and every time you do something it gets easier. All you need to do is push yourself to take the first step in a new direction, and you will not regret it.

    Jump on new opportunities

    Start by pursuing more opportunities in your life, and spicing it up a little. Likely you don’t realize just how many opportunities you have all the time, because subconsciously you don’t want to acknowledge them.

    So be observant of all the opportunities around you, and push yourself to jump on them. Of course, you don’t need to go full throttle on this, but start dipping your toes in uncharted waters. If you get an invitation for a social event and you’re nervous that you won’t know anyone or it will be awkward for you, you should do it anyway. It’s good exposure, and it’s making the commitment that matters.

    The more commitments you make to new opportunities that present themselves, the better off you’re going to be.

    Be patient with results

    We all suck on Day-One. Nobody can shortcut this process of gradually learning and gaining the associated competence. You need to go through the process of trial and error to become proficient at something. There is always a learning curve to anything you do in life, and this learning curve is an essential part of your development.

    So don’t expect yourself to do well, just do it. Just start, and then start improving. Perhaps a reason why you’re not getting out of your comfort zone is because you have too high expectations. Focus on just doing the thing, not succeeding at it.

    Be honest with yourself

    You need to be honest with yourself. This means to acknowledge why you’re holding back. Transparency is a crucial component because if you’re always making excuses, you’ll think you never have a problem!

    You need to draw a line between something not being for you because you genuinely don’t think you will enjoy the activity, and holding back because you’re afraid of doing it. Therefore, cultivate an awareness of why you’re not pushing yourself, and notice every time an opportunity to do so arises.

    Your life begins where the comfort zone ends

    Getting out of the comfort zone

    In this article we’ve looked at a fairly comprehensive view of the comfort zone, and why people hold themselves back. Now that you’re aware of the different facets of this matter, it’s time to take the initiative and create some movement in your life.

    As long as you remember that life begins where the comfort zone ends, you will always remind yourself that stepping into the unknown is a good thing to do. So start chipping away at this elusive bubble, and don’t settle for a life not worth living.

  • How To Cultivate A Deeper Sense Of Fulfillment In Life

    How To Cultivate A Deeper Sense Of Fulfillment In Life

    Ever feel like you’re floating through life as though something vital is missing? You might have short bursts of happiness, but it’s just a matter of time until you default back to a dull, meaningless life. Is there more to this, or will life forever be this bland?

    If you feel like your life is pointless, it means you’re unfulfilled. In this case, it’s important to cultivate a deeper sense of fulfillment in life, otherwise, your life is going to lack substance.

    Your fulfillment in life refers to a more stable sense of joy that you cultivate by being at service to something bigger than yourself. Generally, people become fulfilled when they discover a reason to live that transcends their own petty needs.

    But is it really that simple?

    Let’s look at what you can do to discover deeper fulfillment in life, which in turn creates the foundation of a more wholesome life experience.

    Understanding fulfillment: Why does life feel so bland?

    Finding purpose

    Ultimately, fulfillment is about finding a sense of meaning in your life’s pursuits.

    For me personally, I didn’t feel fulfilled in life until I embarked on a personal growth journey. This opened up some doorways for me, and one thing led to another.

    Continuously working on myself and becoming a better person has given me a much deeper sense of joy. This journey has led me down the road of spiritual growth, and as a result, I’ve discovered some profound lessons about life in general.

    This is a journey I’m still on today, and one I’m sure I’ll be on for the rest of my life. This journey has led me to travel the world for many years, to explore spirituality and find out what I really am underneath all of this fluff.

    This overarching purpose to discover and teach has given me a reason to live. This reason to live translates into a deeper fulfillment because I have an anchor.

    Values: Your compass to fulfillment

    Understanding fulfillment involves introspection, self-discovery, and a willingness to explore what truly brings you joy.

    While your purpose is the crux of fulfillment, your values are the compass. This is why it’s so important to live in alignment with your values because those values point you toward your purpose.

    While momentary pleasures are like sparks, genuine fulfillment is a slow-burning flame, and an inner sensation of wholeness that transcends momentary pleasures. Think of fulfillment as if you’re fulfilling a greater purpose in your life, so you feel fulfilled.

    Sounds great, but genuine fulfillment is not so easy to achieve because it’s deeply personal.

    Some people might feel fulfilled from accomplishing professional goals. Other people might find fulfillment through nurturing relationships, raising a family, or making a difference in the world.

    You need to discover your highest values, and use them to find a higher mission for your life.

    Examples of personal fulfillment

    Personal fulfillment can manifest in many different ways. It might be the exhilaration of achieving a long-term goal, the warmth of nurturing deep connections with loved ones, the peace found in helping others, or the joy of engaging in activities that resonate with your true self.

    You might feel fulfilled by starting a family if that’s what you want in life. Maybe you’re an ambitious person who wants to make a mark in the world or create something incredible.

    If you’re an adventurous soul, maybe fulfillment is to explore the world or to explore yourself. Maybe setting yourself on a growth journey is what makes you feel fulfilled in life. Perhaps being at service to humanity, or god.

    After all, that’s what spirituality is all about: Finding deeper meaning in life. So if you feel generally unfulfilled, start exploring your faith.

    See the common theme here?

    With each example of fulfillment I listed, there is a bigger reason to live than for oneself. This is what leads me to the conclusion that cultivating deep fulfillment comes through being at service to something bigger than you.

    If you live just for yourself, you might feel satisfied, but you’re not going to fulfill your higher self who wants to be at service.

    Reasons why you’re feeling so unfulfilled in life

    Woman unfulfilled with her life

    In today’s world, our lives have become extremely superficial, and you wonder why you feel unfulfilled. Here you’re learning and growing which is good, but I can only imagine how much virtual sewage you ingest daily.

    The endless scrolling. The bullshit politics and propaganda are being pushed out. All the bleak entertainment, ads, and marketing that fill your mind with superficial nonsense you don’t need.

    Let’s face it, our society is a shit show. It’s designed to dumb us down, not enrich our lives with meaning.

    Just think about it,

    We’re pushed through school to gain the knowledge needed to join the workforce, make a good living, and eventually retire. Maybe have a kid or two so humanity doesn’t go extinct.

    That’s the lingo of a good life. Gain and consume. But there is something seriously wrong with this picture.

    Today’s world doesn’t acknowledge the role of individual pathways. It doesn’t teach you the importance of exploring your life journey and what resonates with you. It doesn’t teach us about the importance of personal growth, spirituality, or being at service to something bigger than oneself.

    Instead, we’re all pushed (or attempted to be pushed) into this tiny little box that is simply degrading. Then when we’re in this little box, we think ‘This is it?’

    Of course, this is going to lead to an unfulfilling and depressing life because you’re not following your truth. Let’s get into that more in this article below:

    So let’s look into some of the leading reasons why people feel unfulfilled these days. Acknowledging these challenges is the initial step toward transcending them. Overcoming obstacles to fulfillment often involves a shift in perspective, a reevaluation of priorities, and a conscious effort to live in alignment with personal values and aspirations.

    Seeking fulfillment: A path to inner contentment

    Sunrise

    Feeling lost isn’t a bad thing.

    These feelings of dissatisfaction are telling you an important message. They’re saying that you need to recalibrate your path because you don’t fit into the same box you’ve been living in anymore.

    When you see it from this angle, feeling unfulfilled shows you what isn’t working in your life, and that you need to explore. As long as you keep doing the things that don’t make you feel good about your life, you’re going to keep running into this wall.

    So you might be wondering, now what?

    You still feel like you’re at a dead end in life, so what can you do to turn this ship around? Let’s explore some ways that you can gain more clarity on your path below.

    Recognize the role of spirituality

    Spirituality isn’t just about rituals and practices, it’s about finding one’s place in the world. At the core, spirituality is the internal quest for meaning, a quest that we all embark on sooner or later.

    Some people might seem perfectly content on the surface level. They won’t question anything or explore their realities, but all it takes is something to shake their reality hard enough, and the whole house of cards to come crashing down.

    The spiritual path is undoubtedly the most fulfilling path you can take, but it’s a long road. It’s going to get tough sometimes, but you’re constantly breaking barriers and moving into new territory of your consciousness.

    You will find your sense of belonging in this world more than ever as long as you walk your unique pathway to wholeness. This is why developing a spiritual outlook acts as the foundation of a deeper sense of purpose in your life.

    Embrace your individuality

    You need to start walking your path because you can never walk down someone else’s. When you embrace your individuality, new doorways open up. It can be alienating to venture into the darkness by yourself, but it’s a necessary move on the chessboard of life.

    Some people want to get far in a career and achieve something through it. Other people take to the nomadic lifestyle to seek understanding. Some put all of their energy into their avocations, while others dive deeper into their spiritual practices to find that sense of inner peace they’re looking for.

    No two people resonate with the same things, and that’s the beauty of it. The question lies in how you proceed forward with your life. Find your truths, and understand that meaning, happiness, and purpose take on a different form for us all.

    Live by your values

    This one is hugely important. If your values in life act as your internal guiding compass, selling out is like throwing it in the ocean.

    Your values create a powerful sense of grounding because they tell you the rules of a good life experience. So many people sell out on the easy option. Avoid this at all costs!

    If you value honesty, then you must stick to that value, and live an honest life. Sometimes it might be difficult, and you might even see it as a disadvantage. But living by that value is going to provide a deeper sense of fulfillment than the short-term benefits of cheating your way through.

    Likewise, if you think it’s important to live by your heart, actually live by your heart, especially when it hurts! Don’t back out when the sailing gets choppy.

    So really refine what your biggest values are in life, and make a conscious effort to stick to them.

    Spend plenty of time reflecting

    It’s important to reflect often. You gain valuable feedback by regularly thinking about what you’re doing, and what could use improvement.

    When you sit with your feelings, you can tap into your inner guidance much more easily. The head fog will start to part, and you’ll gain a lot more clarity about the steps you need to take moving forward.

    Be authentic

    If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, you’re not going to be fulfilled. How could you when your center is outside of yourself? What’s the point?

    Unfortunately, I would argue that most of us aren’t authentic. We’re all just playing the game to be someone in this world, without knowing why we’re doing it, or what it’s leading us to.

    This is why it’s so important to be authentic if you want to find deeper fulfillment in your life. That’s because you can only be so fulfilled when you’re out of alignment with who you really are.

    Learn how to become more authentic in the article below:

    Prioritize personal growth

    If you haven’t yet committed to a path of personal growth, you need to make it a priority. By constantly working on yourself, your life experience will change with it. You might not feel fulfilled right this moment, but as long as you’re on the path of inner transformation, you are on a very rewarding journey.

    By digging deep into the roots of who you are and what you want out of life, your old patterns begin dismantling as you develop a new awareness of life.

    If you feel unfulfilled, then this is your calling to deepen your personal growth journey by exploring new practices and taking on harder challenges. Decide to grow as much as you can, and your reality opens to a whole new dimension.

    Be more mindful

    Commit yourself to being more mindful. Life can seem incredibly bland when we’re all caught up in our minds. After all, what is the point if you’re not here and now, experiencing this life journey for what it is?

    Start by doing small everyday practices, and continuously bring yourself back to the present moment. You can learn more about practicing mindfulness in the article below.

    Set authentic goals

    Start by creating goals that align with your values. This is how you can keep yourself on track, and make sure you’re progressing towards better things.

    If you want to help other people out, think about how you can do that, and what it takes to get there. Break this major goal into smaller goals which not only lead you towards a bigger mission but also feel amazing just to be moving in the right direction.

    Be at service

    If you’ve been in this game for a minute now, you’re probably well aware that being in service corresponds with feelings of wholeness, purpose, and fulfillment.

    As discussed in the article below, the feeling of love is very powerful. When this feeling is applied to a cause that you dedicate yourself to, this act is extremely fulfilling.

    You don’t need to be a world changer to make a difference, because your effect spreads. If you live at service to a cause and take on the mission from a place of heart, there is nothing that can be more fulfilling. Not that I’ve experienced anyway.

    To learn about why the heart space is so important in your fulfillment journey, follow me through the link below, and let’s get started.

  • How You Can Overcome The Fear Of Death With A Simple Change Of Perspective

    How You Can Overcome The Fear Of Death With A Simple Change Of Perspective

    For many of us, the fear of death is a major barrier that prevents us from living our best lives. We naturally have some fear of death because it’s a complete unknown, but is there anything we can do to overcome it?

    Of course there is, but it requires a change of perspective.

    Death has long been a taboo subject in Western society. It’s seldom discussed, and people go to great lengths to avoid the topic until it’s right at their doorstep. 

    But instead of seeing death as a dark eerie unknown, what if we could change our perception of it? How can we learn to celebrate death as a natural and inevitable part of life instead of an unquestionable horror? A big part of this perception shift simmers down to our conception of spirituality, and our beliefs regarding life after death.

    This article is here to help you overcome your fear of death by looking at it from a higher perspective. Let’s look at what you can do to get rid of this limiting fear, and birth a new view that facilitates a limitless life.

    Why do we have a fear of death?

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    It’s natural to have some fear of death. After all, death is the biggest encounter with truth we will ever have. Nobody knows exactly what happens after we die, or if life goes on at all. After all, people tend to fear the unknown, losing control, and suffering… and death seems to be the epitome of all these things combined.

    But the deepest darkest fear is the fear of annihilation. This is the biggest nightmare for the ego because the role of the ego is to exist. The ego wants to be an individual. It wants to do everything in its power to protrude from nature as a separate entity.

    Death is a natural part of life, but to the ego, it’s the end of the world. When we fear death, we are trapped in our ego. The bigger the ego, the bigger the fear. The lesser the ego, the lesser the fear. Therefore, part of moderating your fear of death lies in moderating your ego.

    When your fear of death is blown out of proportion, it can become a problem and severely reduce the quality of your life.

    This exacerbated fear can lead to:

    • Paranoia: You’re always thinking that something might happen to you which prevents you from taking healthy risks.
    • Poor judgment: You’re more susceptible to influence and control as external entities can manipulate you much easier.
    • Anxiety: You tend to feel more weight on your shoulders because death is perceived as the end of the world.
    • Distress: You might become worried that you and your loved ones are going to die, even when everyone is in good health.
    • Denial: You’re likely to avoid the topic or anything that brings it to mind. This denial inevitably causes problems and results in major limitations in your life.
    • Existential dread: In some cases, the exacerbated fear of death can lead you to an existential crisis.

    The fear of death can be an obstacle when it interferes with the quality of your life. It can prevent people from reaching their full potential or living an adventurous life because people who fear death tend to take a more conservative approach to life.

    Often people don’t fear death itself, but things related to death such as the dying process, the dying process itself, or leaving loved ones behind. When we address each nuance of death and come to terms with the process, we tend to feel more at peace with it.

    The worst thing you can do is deny the reality of death until you no longer can. Therefore, get a handle on it now, and it will take a heavy burden off your shoulders, for the rest of your life.

    What causes the fear of death?

    Some people have a big fear of death, others don’t. If you are the former, it’s important to understand how this fear of death affects your life, and to what extent.

    Here are some things that may contribute to the fear of death:

    1. Biological drive: Of course, we are programmed to survive. All life is programmed to survive, otherwise, the species probably wouldn’t last too long. We are no exception to this rule, so naturally, we want to avoid death at all costs.

    2. Cultural norms: Death is a much more prominent part of some cultures, where people live in harmony with it. People in certain cultures have more exposure to death compared to a Western society where the idea of death is swept under the rug.

    3. Fear of the unknown: Many people aren’t as afraid of death as they are of facing the unknown. As death is the biggest encounter with the unknown that we can have, naturally, some people are going to be afraid of it.

    4. Fear of annihilation: The complete loss of self is a big fear for a lot of people. Regardless of what happens after death, the process of losing everything that you have ever known can be a scary thought.

    5. Loss of control: Death can seem like a really big ordeal to people who tend to hold onto control. If you have spent your life trying to be in charge of every little thing that happens to you, the realization that you’re at the complete mercy of the universe when you die can be uneasy.

    6. Past experiences: If you witnessed a horrible accident where someone died in a lot of pain, or perhaps you’ve seen the ugly side of death, this can affect your outlook on it.

    7. Existential beliefs: Your beliefs about the afterlife can turn death into something fearful. If you believe you’re going to hell, or that you will face some sort of repercussions for the life you’ve lived, this belief might cause you to latch onto life.

    How to overcome the fear of death

    The fear of death

    I feared death as much as any person until I experienced ego death. This experience completely blew open my reality, and this was my first encounter with truth. After this experience, a couple of things changed in my life.

    1. I felt I had undergone the experience of death, so it wasn’t an uncertainty anymore.
    2. I instantly developed spiritual beliefs from this encounter
    3. I started making the most of my life so I didn’t feel I was missing out

    I feel that all of these ingredients were essential in helping me get rid of this fear. Many years later, I still have no fear of death, and because of this, I have explored my life without limitations.

    Many people limit their lives to secure the life they’re living. They want comfort and security. Certainty. They want to endure, and sacrifice so much to do so. But I wanted to soak up as many experiences as I could. So I traveled the world for many years. I explored different cultural beliefs, religions, and spiritual modalities such as shamanism.

    Due to this pursuit of knowledge, my understanding of life after death broadened and I became more curious about what happens when we die (and what’s always here).

    Personally, my pursuit of spirituality was a game-changer when it comes to the fear of death. If you believe that there is an afterlife, and that Earth is actually a pretty difficult place to be in the scheme of things, dying sorta feels like a get out of jail free card.

    Change your outlook of death

    Some cultures see death through a different lens though. They spend time with their dead, they don’t rush them away to a hospital to never be seen again.

    Whether it’s Dia De los Muertos in Mexico which celebrates death, or the Ma’nene festival in Indonesia which cleans the deceased and strengthens the bond between the living and the dead, we don’t view death the same way. If we’re all just a little more open about death and talk about it more, culturally, the stigma surrounding it will disintegrate.

    I encourage you to see death in a way that excites you. I don’t mean this in the rushing to your grave sense, but in the sense that you want to know what happens. I know that for me personally, I can’t wait to see what happens for myself, and I mean that in the most uplifting way possible.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and plan on milking every moment of it. But this curiosity gives me something to look forward to. It doesn’t matter what happens in my life, if I achieve my dreams, or die sad and lonely because death looks the same for us all.

    Are you able to find something exciting about death? Can you look at it in a way where it sets you free rather than imprisons you? Look at death as a get-out-of-jail-free card. Life is the hard part, what lies on the other side is not.

    Cultivate a curiosity about death

    Work on cultivating a curiosity about death, rather than associating it with negative thoughts and feelings. If you can learn to broaden your curiosity about death by digging deep into it, that same worry will gradually be replaced with wonder: A positive energetic outlet that improves your life experience, not takes away from it.

    Therefore, don’t push thoughts of death and mortality away. Instead, illuminate it, and allow yourself to be fascinated by it. If someone close to you dies, of course, you should mourn but also reflect. Use this opportunity to think about the death process while it’s fresh in your mind.

    I encourage you to think about death, wonder about it, and talk about it with people. Bring the idea of death to light, otherwise, it will stay in the darkness and remain as an unquestionable horror instead of a curious mystery.

    Cultivate an understanding of impermanence

    Understanding the nature of impermanence is needed to be at peace with death. Realizing the impermanent nature of all things helps you see the bigger picture: That nothing stops changing, and that we are also part of this river of endless change.

    Everything in life is impermanent, from every emotion you experience to every difficulty you’ve had. The universe itself will end at some point, which makes time valuable for it’s finite. Does this thought stir up dread, knowing that your time is limited? Does it set you free, knowing that nothing really matters in the end, so why not enjoy the ride?

    There’s beauty in knowing that everything you’re experiencing will end. So embrace it. Make the most out of this slither of consciousness that you’re experiencing right now.

    Part of what makes life so exciting is that no matter who you are or what you do, your story will come to a close, sooner or later. So appreciate all the ups and downs! Pursue new opportunities and see what you can turn your life into.

    Explore your existential beliefs

    For me personally, believing in something beyond life has made a big difference in my perception of death. Genuinely believing that this universe is a tiny part of a much bigger system makes death seem like it’s not such a big deal.

    Life is supposed to be one of the harder experiences a soul undergoes. So in that sense, would you rather stay here and struggle through the human construction zone, or enjoy the higher states of consciousness that we experience outside of these bodies?

    Having spiritual beliefs makes the idea of death not just tolerable, but wonderful. Whether you have a nihilistic approach to the subject or not doesn’t matter in the end. You must agree that we don’t know for sure. Even if you believe that nothing happens, then it doesn’t really matter, does it? It would be like nothing even existed in the first place.

    So why does it matter how painful the process of death is, or what you accomplish in life? Why does it matter how successful you have become, or how much money you made? If nothing exists, then nothing matters. If something exists, then everything probably matters. To me, this is a win-win.

    Your spiritual beliefs and existential views can make the idea of death as something to look forward to, or as an unscalable object. Work on molding your views and beliefs to see the beauty in it all, and slowly over time, you will start appreciating your journey here.

    I suggest broadening your understanding of spirituality and discovering beliefs that resonate with you. By forming your own beliefs and having faith in them, death is going to seem like much less of an obstacle and just another part of the journey. Below are some resources to explore life after death, and what it could mean.

    Is there life after death?

    Soul leaving a womans body

    Ultimately, what eradicated the fear of death for me was cultivating a belief in life after death. If I was still an atheist, maybe I would be in your shoes too. But I’m not. I’m more confident than ever that the experience of consciousness continues after death.

    Sure, it transmutes and changes form. You join the collective and branch off to experience your soul journey. You experience different dimensions and incarnate into different places. But it’s real.

    After all, every body of knowledge believes in other dimensions. Every religion believes in life after death. All the best scientists and philosophers agree that we simply don’t know, and usually, they believe that there’s a whole lot more than what meets the eye too.

    Believing in life after death has given me the ultimate comfort. Instead of holding onto life, I see it for what it is. A dream, a tiny figment of experience that god undergoes.

    You can believe that there’s more to existence, you can believe that this universe is it. That’s really up to you. But if you do truly want to overcome the fear of death, I suggest that you start exploring what lies beyond this reality, and you might find some answers.