Symbosity

Category: Perception Refinement

Learn to perceive your life in a way which helps you achieve a higher quality of it. As your perception is the lens in which you view your life condition, learning to see things in a brighter light can have drastic impacts on your life experience. Learn how to make these adjustments here.

  • Why You Should Live With Intentions, Not Expectations

    Why You Should Live With Intentions, Not Expectations

    There’s a fine balance you need to strike along the personal growth journey that I see many people get wrong. You want to achieve as much as you can, but avoid creating a forcing current in your life.

    It’s easy to develop an obsession with your growth where the desire to evolve degrades into the need to do better. On the other hand, you can carry yourself through life without any goals, purpose, or ambition, which isn’t in your best interest either.

    Having no intentions leads to a stagnant, unfulfilling life while overshooting leads to stress, worry, and burnout.

    I’ve found that living with intentions but also allowing myself to go with the flow is a good balance to strike. I’m not stressed when things don’t go to plan, because my life journey can’t be anticipated. However, I’m always nudging towards an overarching mission in life which acts as my anchor.

    That overarching mission may or may not fruit. I don’t know when life is going to jerk me in a different direction, and how sudden it’s going to be. All I know is that it will.

    So why fight against life when it takes me down Path B rather than Path A?

    Ultimately I have no say, but as long as I have a deeper purpose steering me through the shifting currents, I feel happy. Living with intentions but not expectations is an act of accepting your life condition in an act of nonresistance – But navigating forward.

    Finding the fine balance between setting intentions and releasing expectations is what I want to address in this article. Getting this right can have a transformative impact on your life journey.

    What does it mean to have intentions?

    Setting intentions

    Intentions act as the steering wheel for your life. They’re the goals you want to achieve, and pertain to the deeper reasoning of why you want to achieve these goals. As your intentions give you a sense of purpose, they are an important component of fulfillment.

    Your intentions are like the guiding principles of your life. They act as your internal compass pointing you in a particular direction and are deeply entwined with your values.

    For example, some of my intentions revolve around living a life integral to personal and spiritual growth. Because I hold this intention so closely, I’ve spent many years exploring different cultures and traditions, different philosophies and modalities.

    My intentions have set the coursework in my life, and illuminated the path I need to walk. Without intending to become a better person, I wouldn’t have carved a life path allowing me to actualize this journey.

    A lack of intentions can result in stagnation because you have no reason to do better.

    Some intentions that are good to hold to your heart include:

    • The intention to be the best person you can be: Live your life striving for growth and self-betterment
    • The intention to do good in the world: Do your best to live a life you can be proud of
    • The intention to be of service: Intend to help people, to heal, inspire, encourage, and grow to achieve a deeper sense of fulfillment in life
    • The intention to learn: Spend your life learning as much as you can, and becoming the wisest person you can

    Are intentions the same as a purpose?

    Your intentions and purpose overlap, but there are nuanced differences.

    Let me explain.

    A purpose implies something set in stone. If you have a purpose, there may not be any conscious decision, and you may not even be aware of it. Intentions imply that there is a choice. You are consciously seeking something in life. You have principles to consciously adhere to, and a deeper motive driving your actions.

    Can intentions become expectations?

    Strong intentions with no counterbalance can be destructive. Imagine driving a car without breaks. You’re bound to crash, rather than if you just slowed down a little and navigated yourself more carefully.

    All gas and no break leads to resistance. Once you start forcing your life in a certain direction, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

    Even if you do finally get to your goals, can you say you’ve enjoyed the process? What happens when you trade the joy of your life to achieve something that never fruits?

    You might feel like you’ve wasted your opportunity here. Therefore, balance is crucial. It’s important to have intentions, but don’t be so attached to the result that you end up trading your life for it.

    Are expectations helpful?

    Man expecting likes on social media

    Expectations are not helpful. Sometimes they might drive people to achieve more by believing that they will get what they want. But for the most part, having expectations doesn’t serve you.

    That’s not to say you can’t work hard towards what you want, because you should. But it’s important not to be too attached to the result. You can learn more about this in the article below:

    Letting go of the result means having some flexibility, and allowing your life to bring you in unexpected directions. Life is not a predictable journey. If you’re too stubborn with your intentions, you’re going to miss out on new opportunities due to your tunnel vision.

    If you reject change, you’re also rejecting the evolution of your life journey. Just think about it. Is your life right now what you expected five years ago?

    Ten years ago?

    If you’re like most people, probably not.

    Who knows, maybe life will bring you in a direction that’s much more aligned with your true path than what you originally thought.

    So keep an open mind.

    Intentions vs expectations

    Let’s look at the difference between having intentions and having expectations below:

    Intentions

    Setting intentions provides a framework for living with purpose, mindfulness and authenticity – Leading to a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Intentions are beneficial for the following reasons:

    • General sense of direction in life
    • Instils motivation and inspiration
    • Creates clarity
    • Encourages resilience and persistence
    • Creates alignment with values
    • Encourages growth and learning
    • Increased self-awareness
    • Crucial cornerstone to feel fulfilled

    Expectations

    While expectations can provide motivation, it’s essential to approach them with awareness to mitigate their potential negative consequences. Expectations are not good for you because:

    • Creates a sense of need
    • Exacerbates stress and worry
    • Subtracts from being present
    • Leads to disappointment and frustration
    • Leads to resistance to change
    • Can lead to obsession
    • Causes a loss of enjoyment
    • You can become complacent

    How to live without expectations

    Living without expectations doesn’t mean you can’t set your eyes on goals and hope to achieve them. You just want to be careful not to become too attached to the outcome by realizing it may fruit in unexpected ways.

    To stop expecting things in life, here are some things to do:

    • Focus on the process: Focus on the process rather than the outcome.
    • Don’t be entitled: You need to earn your keep in life, nothing is given for free without there being some sort of energetic reciprocity.
    • Be humble: Learn to be more humble about your life situation, and think through a lens that you don’t have anything to prove.
    • Maintain reasonable goals: It’s good to be ambitious but set realistic goals to gradually move forward.
    • Avoid self-comparison: Comparing yourself to others can cause feelings of scarcity. Acknowledge that everyone is on a different journey, and focus on yours.
    • Be more flexible: Allow yourself to take unexpected new opportunities and possibilities
    • Have some resilience: If things don’t go to plan, look for other creative routes to step in a better direction

    Intentions vs expectations in a relationship

    Seeking a loving partner is something we all want – But that desire for love can be corrupted by expectations.

    Don’t expect your partner to be a certain way because it will only put strain on the relationship. Expecting your partner to meet the standards you set may cause your partner self-worth issues if they don’t meet these expectations. It may also lead to your disappointment when true love should be unconditional.

    Instead of casting expectations on your partner, encourage them to grow as a person, as you should be growing too. Lead by example and encourage them to become their best self. This is what creates a fulfilling relationship – Two people growing together but expecting nothing of one another.

    Center yourself around being more genuine in your relationships and give without expecting

    When you stop having expectations in a relationship, you’re bound to have a much more wholesome and fulfilling relationship.

  • Wondering Why Your Life Sucks? Here Are 10 Reasons

    Wondering Why Your Life Sucks? Here Are 10 Reasons

    Feel like your life sucks? Sometimes, it’s going to be unavoidable. 

    We’ve all gone through times in our lives when life just seems completely pointless. It’s a constant struggle, it stopped being fun long ago, and it just keeps on getting worse. So you wonder what you can do to make this journey a little more tolerable.

    And to be honest, it’s a pretty loaded question.

    Seeing life as a disaster is a lens you wear. This is not an objective reality, but for any number or reasons, it has become your reality. But being a lens, you can learn to perceive life in a way that instills joy, optimism, and hope.

    Life can be a heavenly experience, but it can take some work to make that happen.

    Why does life feel pointless?

    Life is a double-edged sword. 

    On one hand, it can be a glum, miserable hole where all roads lead to dead ends. Sometimes you’re going to pivot to this frame, especially when you’re going through a rough patch. But life can be blissful too.

    If your life feels pointless, I would break it down into a few key areas, and look at those:

    • Your belief systems: For me, life didn’t feel meaningful until I developed existential beliefs. Believing that life is a tiny slither of a much greater system makes it feel like I’m here for a reason. Believing that I’m here for a reason filled me with purpose, but you do you.
    • Your mindsets: Your mindsets also play a big part in enjoying life. Many mindsets can drain you, and turn your entire life experience into a hell hole. Other mentalities can elevate your life to a new level, and make it a much more wholesome experience. 
    • Your perception: Your perception determines whether your life feels pointless, or whether you’ve been gifted the most incredible opportunity imaginable.

    If your life keeps getting worse, it’s probably because there are several things that you’re not doing right. Everyone’s life journey is unique, so it’s hard to say exactly what it is, but here we’re going to look at some core reasons why people feel like life sucks.

    10 reasons why your life sucks poster

    You’re not working on yourself

    My life sucked until I realized that competence could be learned. The realization that I could learn how to become whoever I wanted to be blew the cap off my world.

    From that moment, the quality of my life started to increase exponentially as I worked hard to develop myself into someone I was proud of.

    So let me ask you. If you feel like your life sucks, what are you actually doing to fix it?

    Are you pushing yourself to become a better person? Are you developing your characteristics, outlooks, and skillsets? Or are you are you not taking action at all?

    Start working on yourself and take more of an active stance towards your development.

    Embark on a personal growth journey and make the main focus of your life your growth. Understanding that you can become whoever you want to be is one thing, but becoming that person is another.

    Here’s a guide for personal development to get started:

    You’re living in a box

    If you feel like your life sucks and don’t know why, it could be because you’re not exploring who you are underneath these layers of conditioning.

    So your life is ordinary. You work, you eat, and might have some sort of social life. But there’s nothing about your life that makes you want to live it.

    Where’s the mystery? Where’s the intrigue? Where’s the journey of finding yourself?

    A life without a narrative becomes stale. So stop living in a box and start exploring your internal reality. You’ll find that life becomes a much more magical journey when you get into the deeper layers of it.

    Prioritize self-exploration rather than the meaningless pursuit of pleasure.

    Start looking for new ways to explore who you are, and to discover new things about yourself, and the life you’re living.

    Your values are superficial

    If you define success as making a lot of money and wonder why your life sucks, do I really need to explain?

    There’s a strong connection between the quality of your values and the quality of your life. But after you can live comfortably, there’s no correlation between wealth and happiness.

    Potentially you’re barking up the wrong tree if you think money will make you happy, and this is the reward you’re getting. That’s why you need to recalibrate with a deeper meaning for your life and find a true anchor to live by.

    Think about what matters to you, and what makes your life worth living. What is the spark driving you? And if you don’t have one, there’s your issue.

    If you can find a cause that’s worth dying for, that’s where your values are. Use those values as a compass, and move the needle towards them in whatever way you can. 

    Your social life sucks

    If your social life sucks, your life is probably going to suck too.

    Let’s face it, a good social life is such an important key to living a fulfilling life. Simply, we need connections with other people, and the more substantial those connections are, the better we feel.

    But if you don’t have people in your life, it’s no big deal. By working on your social skills, you can create a wholesome social life. Therefore, take it into your own hands, and develop the social life you deserve.

    Start working on your interpersonal skills to build the required competence. The other side of this coin is to throw yourself into social situations where you can gain the concomitant experience.

    Everything you’ve got going in your life is the result of your education and experience. Your social life is no exception. So if your social life sucks, it’s your responsibility to improve it. 

    Start improving your social skills by reading this article:

    You lack vision

    If there’s no overarching purpose to your life, it becomes quite meaningless. How can you possibly feel fulfilled if there is no reason behind the things you do?

    Having a vision in life is a core ingredient to living a life that means something to you. Because life sucks when you are just floating without purpose or reason.

    A vision should be your center of gravity: The reason behind why you’re doing what you’re doing. So if you want to feel more fulfilled, you need to create a vision for your life and identify what a good life looks like for you.

    Visualize your dream life.

    What does it look like? What are you doing? How do you feel? What would the perfect world look like to you, and use that vision to guide you.

    Now, start taking small steps in the right direction, constantly, to achieve that vision.

    You’re a victim

    Your life sucks because you blame the outside world instead of taking responsibility for your life. As long as you stay in a mentality where everything is someone else’s fault, you’re going to feel powerless.

    This is the infamous victim mentality, and I have seen again and again just how detrimental it is for people.

    If you want to have a fulfilling life, it starts by taking responsibility for everything that happens to you, which is the only way to discard this harmful mentality.

    Learn more about the victim mentality here:

    Cultivate an awareness of when you pull the victim card, and just how much you do it.

    With awareness, aim to overturn this mentality by taking responsibility for everything that happens to you, regardless if it’s within your control or not.

    Learn how to do this in the following article:

    Your vibration is generally low

    Getting more into the spiritual, your vibration refers to the quality of energy you’re experiencing.

    Low vibrational energy is associated with suffering, whereas feelings such as resentment, guilt, and shame are low vibrational.

    These are feelings that we see as unpleasant, or undesirable. The more often you experience low vibrational energies, the more your life will suck.

    Your vibration fluctuates, but you can do some things to generally increase it.

    First, it’s important to identify feelings that are low vibrational and feelings that are high vibrational.

    Next, you need to work on healing the underlying causes of low vibrational energies, while consciously pushing yourself to experience more high vibrational feelings like love, gratitude, and compassion.

    You’re not doing the healing

    Unhealed wounds add a glaze of disappointment to your life. Needless to say, the more trauma you have that you haven’t yet processed, the more your life is going to suck.

    This is what it simmers down to.

    The more wounded you are emotionally, the more difficult life is going to be. On the other hand, the more healed you are, the more amazing life is going to be, regardless of what you’re experiencing.

    If you have put off your emotional healing and complain that life sucks, you need to focus on doing the inner work.

    Healing is not a straightforward road. It’s complicated, it’s messy, and it takes a lot of time.

    But as long as you set your eyes on your healing, and look at what you can do to make progress on your hidden traumas, you’re on a path to make life much less sucky!

    You can get started with this article:

    Your life is boring

    Let me make this very clear. Your life sucks because it’s boring! You do the same things and fall into the same patterns. But let’s face it, your life isn’t all that exciting.

    Luckily, your life doesn’t need to be boring. Your life can be eventful, adventurous, and spontaneous as long as you take initiative.

    Stop living a boring life, and make the most of the time you have.

    You need to spice things up a little. It doesn’t need to be anything drastic, but change won’t come for you unless you seek it out.

    Start with the little things. Go to new places, meet new people, and seek out new events. If it’s in your means, travel for a while.

    Do things that are out of the ordinary for you, more often, and you’ll feel the spark return to life.

    Your thoughts get the best of you

    The beliefs that you cement become the reality that you inherit. Your thoughts have power, and if you’re constantly thinking about how bad everything is, you’re going to live in a negative world.

    You can see your life as a heaven or hell depending on how you frame your reality. This is why it’s important to work on your belief systems to see life in a better light.

    Remember that every cloud has a silver lining. In every disappointment, there is an opportunity. So look at life in a way that instills positive emotions, and it’s going to be a whole lot easier to navigate.

    What you focus on becomes a core part of your reality.

    If you’re constantly thinking about how much people suck, or how much your life sucks, you’re going to reinforce that idea, and guess what? Life will suck!

    But if you start affirming a more positive reality to yourself by reinforcing more joyful ideas, eventually you’re going to believe them.

    This may take some time to turn over your perception, but to get started, check out this article:

  • Cognitive Reframing: How To See Things From A Different Angle

    Cognitive Reframing: How To See Things From A Different Angle

    When something happens in your life, it’s an objective reality. How you experience the situation on the other hand – is not. You can elicit positive emotions from almost anything that happens to you by framing it in a way where it serves you in some form.

    A breakup can destroy you. You might spend months mourning this horrible loss that left an uninvited wave of devastation in your life.

    Although it’s natural to go through the motions, can you see this situation through a different lens where it not only makes you feel better, but empowers you? Was the relationship ideal? Could you see yourself settling down with that person? What new opportunities does this open up to you now?

    Even though the event objectively happened, how you look at it evokes a different set of emotions. Just from having a different perspective about the same outcome, you might feel a very different way about the situation.

    This is cognitive reframing, and it’s just one example of how mentally pivoting to a different point of view affects the reality that you experience.

    What is cognitive reframing?

    Lake

    Cognitive reframing is a technique where you change your view of any perceived negative event to see it in a way that makes you feel better. The purpose of cognitive reframing is to change painful beliefs that hurt you into constructive beliefs that serve you.

    We’re masters at jumping to conclusions, and those conclusions are often in the dimmest light. But what if you could assume something that makes you feel better about the situation?

    Let’s say you were chatting with a romantic interest whom you felt a good connection with, and suddenly that person stopped responding.

    Your first instinct might be to believe that you’ve done something wrong, or that there’s something wrong with you. But what if you framed it in a way where the person is just too busy to date and doesn’t have the energy to respond, rather than take it as a personal attack? 

    Which assumption in this situation makes you feel better? Is it a problem with you, or it’s a problem with them?

    So instead of assuming the worst, cognitive reframing is to recognize when you’re assuming the worst about something, and logically changing your outlook of the situation to elicit better feelings.

    You don’t have all the facts for most situations, meaning that the truth is left to the narrative of your mind. You can fill in the blanks in a way that hurt you, or create a narrative that put you at ease.

    Understanding cognitive distortions

    The mind is a funny thing. So often it works against us to make out a situation to be much worse than it actually is. In your mind, a failure might feel like the end of the world. A painful emotion might make you feel completely worthless. Little things that happen can be blown out of proportion to cause a lot more pain than they should, and this is an issue.

    When you’re perceiving something in a way that is very inaccurate to the reality of the situation, this is a cognitive distortion. It’s called this because you’re distorting a situation to be worse than it is.

    The cure to cognitive distortions is rational thinking. As long as you rationally weigh up the situation and accurately assess it, your emotions will follow suit when you realize it’s not too bad.

    Part of cognitive reframing is to recognize cognitive distortions and to bring them back to reality.

    Here are some common forms of cognitive distortions:

    • Overreacting: Blowing up a situation to be more severe than it really is
    • Fixation: Only focusing on the negatives and neglecting anything positive to come from it
    • Generalizing: Applying past experiences to all situations that are alike
    • Catastrophizing: Anticipating that something terrible is going to happen without doing anything about it

    Four steps of cognitive reframing

    Cognitive reframing

    1) Write down the situation

    Start by writing down the situation that’s causing you to feel a certain way. Write about your feelings, and what’s causing them. Try to identify what exactly is causing those painful feelings.

    If a particular situation is causing these feelings, dig into the situation. What are you feeling and why does it matter?

    Really try to get to the bottom of it to determine what the actual issue is.

    2) Identify your thoughts and feelings

    Draw a T and write down all your thoughts in one column, and feelings in the other.

    Pay attention to the actual feelings that are being stirred up by the situation. Are you feeling resentment, guilt, anxiety, worry, shame? Sink into those emotions and write down all the feelings you’re experiencing

    In the second column, write down your thoughts. What are your worries, fears, predictions? What tormenting thoughts are you experiencing?

    3) Evaluate the narrative

    Think about the evidence or information that both does and doesn’t support your theory. If you’re thinking someone doesn’t like you because they don’t make an effort to talk to you, write down evidence supporting this claim, and evidence that doesn’t support it.

    This could include things like:

    • They are generally welcoming to me
    • They are introverted
    • They have invited me to things before

     

    4) Create a new narrative with the information

    Now weigh up the information to determine how rational your thoughts and feelings are. Determine how accurate your narrative is, and replace it with a new narrative that is more accurate to the tangible evidence you wrote down in step 3.

    Using the new information, create a narrative that makes you feel more at peace with the situation. Reinforce this new narrative until you genuinely believe it, and it seems like the most realistic option.

    Reframing situations in a better way

    Choice, cognitive reframing

    Every situation is subjective because perception is a personal phenomenon – no two people experience it the same as one another. 

    Imagine you encounter a dark night of the soul where your life feels like it’s falling apart. When you’re feeling this way, you can see the situation as only doom and gloom, that you’re a victim and god hates you.

    But what if you saw this as an opportunity? Instead of seeing it as the end of the world, you look at this challenge as a deeply transformative process that you’re fortunate to experience. Sure, it’s not easy, but you know that you’re shedding things that no longer serve you and expanding your consciousness.

    Suddenly, there’s a silver lining to the situation that you may not have noticed before. And by really feeling into the good of the situation, you leverage the situation to grow from it.

    Avoid worst case scenario thinking

    Naturally, we tend to focus on the worst-case scenario, which can lead us into negative spirals.

    Everything has a silver lining. Seeing that silver lining is what creates optimism because there is always some good to come out of any given situation, whether you recognize it or not.

    The big advantage of an optimist is that they will always see the bright side of any situation. Things might get ugly, but they will look for a way to find the beauty in it. You can always look at the good, so make a habit of doing so.

    Challenge your thoughts and beliefs

    Recently, I left behind my nomadic life and felt like I regressed a huge amount. Suddenly, I was back living with my mum, with no money, no car, and working in a cafe. I did not feel good about my life.

    My mind would constantly jump to the disempowering victim mindset.

    Poor me, I’m so lost, things are not going well for me.

    I would start spiraling downhill and get into a dark frame of mind, but every time I started cycling down into self-pity I caught myself. I challenged my beliefs. I disputed what my ego was telling me, that I’m a loser and I’ll never have a good life.

    Instead, I reframed the situation in a way that this is good.

    I’m not paying rent. I can make quick easy money. I don’t have distractions such as too many friends or dating which allows me to focus on my avocations. I get to spend time with my family, and this situation is temporary. Sure, the situation isn’t perfect. But is any situation perfect?

    When I view it in a way where this is actually what I need right now, and this situation is giving me the incentive to meditate more, take courses, and focus on my work, I feel much more at peace.

    So make sure you challenge the thoughts and feelings that pop up and give them a run for their money.

    Look at the higher perspective

    If something is happening in your life that you don’t enjoy, ask yourself why it’s happening. Instead of getting caught in survival mode and exacerbating the situation, think about the higher perspective.

    Why is this situation happening to you? What are you supposed to learn from it?

    Looking at the higher perspective has helped me get through some challenging situations in my life. Mostly I give credit to my existential beliefs because I do believe there’s a higher power, and that destiny is real.

    So I’ve learned to lean on these beliefs when things are difficult. Instead of falling into this painful cycle, I step backward and look at the bigger picture of why it’s happening in the context of my life.

    Don’t fake the feelings

    Looking at something from a different angle is done by taking something comparable on both sides and focusing on the positive aspects. It’s a way of consciously manipulating your outlook of a subjective event, to a positive perception.

    But you do want to be a little careful of toxic positivity here, which is to suppress negative feelings by focusing on the positives. You want to be genuine with your feelings, but when you’re authentically seeing things in a way that draws positive emotions, it can help alleviate negativity.

    Reframing is not the same as escapism. Escapism is trying to avoid a negative situation, while reframing is about reinterpreting something more healthily. It’s important not to be naïve, but to also not be paranoid by assuming the worst.

    With that said, cognitive reframing is not about pretending to be happy. It’s not about avoiding a situation or smearing it with a facade of light. Cognitive reframing is about genuinely seeing a situation in a way that instills better feelings, and supporting this idea with logic and reason.

    Adding context to things you witness

    Imagine you see a car speeding down the road. The car cuts someone off and doesn’t give way when they should. Witnessing this reckless activity will initially make you think that the driver is an asshole, which instills feelings like anger and resentment.

    Even though the driver could just be an asshole, you have no context to the situation. You jumped to a conclusion and never considered other possibilities. Since you have no context, your mind creates the narrative for this story, and the narrative you create is what makes you feel a certain way.

    There is no way to tell whether the driver frantically driving someone to the hospital, or panicking because they’re late for an important event. Perhaps the person wasn’t aware and it was an accident.

    Of course, this is no excuse for their behavior, but do any of these scenarios make you feel better than assuming that the person gets a kick out of making people angry?

    We only get a small amount of factual information from everything we experience, but tend to make everything out to be something bad. But you have no idea. It’s left to your narrative.

    So be aware of the narratives you create from anything you witness, and build the most logical conclusion instead of automatically filling in the context based on your previous experiences or prejudices. 

    Leverage painful events for your growth

    How you perceive difficult situations in general is an important part of cognitive reframing.

    I used to hate anything that challenged me. If I could have, I would have lived a very comfortable life where I never had to stretch myself. But thank god the universe gave me a boot up the ass and showed me that wasn’t an option. And because of that, I saw the other side.

    So what did I learn?

    Pain is a corridor for growth. The more you’re challenged in life, the more things you experience, the more you grow as a person. As there is a direct correlation between growth and happiness, believe me when I say it’s worth going through some struggles to gain that juicy wisdom.

    So I challenge you to adopt this belief if you haven’t already. Instead of having an aversion to difficulty, look at how those difficult moments can serve your growth as a person. Ask yourself what you can learn when life is hitting hard, and how these lessons can make you a stronger, wiser, better person.

    The way I see it is that every time something goes wrong, it’s an opportunity to explore myself. You will have a natural failsafe because when things are looking down, a piece of you will kick into action and look at the opportunity within the situation.

  • How to Sharpen Your Observational Skills

    How to Sharpen Your Observational Skills

    In the personal development sphere, teachings are abundant about topics like mindfulness and self-love, yet observational skills are generally overlooked.

    While mindfulness is touted for reducing stress, observational skills are equally vital in navigating various aspects of life, including career progression, building meaningful connections, and developing new skill sets.

    Good observational skills make a tangible difference to your life, and they’re rather easy to improve. If you’re on a journey of personal growth, developing these skills is crucial. Here’s why.

    Why are observational skills important?

    binoculars 1209011 1920 1024x683 1

    Observational skills refer to your ability to perceive information within your external (and internal) environment.

    Someone who is highly observant will absorb more information about your surroundings compared to someone who isn’t. They may pick up more social cues, or pay closer attention to details on a project or work assignment.

    Ultimately, being highly observant translates to being more knowledgeable. This skill set allows you to experience life with more depth by noticing all the nuances of our world and other people.

    This is why highly observant people generally appear to be intelligent because have soaked up more knowledge than the average person.

    With that said, having good observational skills does so much more than helping you identify details about your environment. They’re an essential tool to identify what’s going on within your internal environment too, which leads to greater self-awareness and quicker personal growth.

    Your observational skills help with:

    Self-awareness

    Observing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can lead to greater self-awareness. You are more likely to identify areas for improvement, work on your weaknesses, and build on your strengths.

    Recognizing social cues

    Being observant helps you pick up on subtle signals during social interactions including eye contact levels, body language, and receptivity. Picking up on social cues helps you navigate social interactions better.

    Recognizing patterns

    Being observant helps you notice certain painful trends or patterns in your life that tend to repeat themselves. This awareness allows you to break these patterns.

    Identifying cause and effect

    You will see when a certain action or behavior leads to a particular outcome, allowing you to identify and avoid detrimental behaviors.

    Identifying details

    You become better at noticing the little details in your job, work, and avocations, and ensuring you don’t miss important details.

    Learning new skills

    Being highly observant makes you better at learning new things. You’re more attentive to the process of learning, resulting in quicker learning.

     

    Noticing changes

    You become better at noticing subtle changes in your environment such as a dint in your car, if something’s out of place in your home, or if one of your pot plants needs water.

    Reading between the lines

    You become better at noticing incongruencies in what people are telling you, allowing you to piece together the truth rather than fall for a fib.

    Solving problems

    When you are highly observant, you gather more information about a situation which allows you to analyze it thoroughly. This can lead to more creative solutions and a better decision making process.

    How to become more observant

    Observant man writing in a notepad

    You may not be highly observant, but you can awaken this dormant skill.

    Being highly observant is arguably more useful in today’s world because there’s so much happening around us all the time. Knowledge is power, and if you’re on a personal growth journey, you should be soaking it up like a sponge.

    Luckily for you, there’s always an enormous amount of information that you have access to, right now.

    You’re just not tapping into it. So here are some ways that you can pick more of it up.

    Here’s a resource to help you put on your observation cap:

    Pay attention

    Observation is a microscope.

    Everything contains a bottomless pit of information, it’s just a matter of how hard you look.

    Countless details are so often missed. We only see the surface level because we don’t give things our full attention and scrutiny.

    Think about it this way.

    A car salesman is going to have a different understanding of cars compared to your typical family man. They will know the design, the engine, the brand, the speed, the history, and the materials those cars are made from.

    To the mechanic, the car is a work of art, the same way a building may be a work of art to an architect. The information is always there, but it requires knowledge and attention to develop an eye for something.

    You probably haven’t looked at the details because you don’t really care. But if you were to look at the details of any given subject, whether it be your mental health or communication skills, you’re going to discover more depth to it.

    Utilize your senses

    All the information you pick up about the outside world passes through your senses. Therefore, if you’re not paying attention to them, you’re blocking out information.

    When you pay attention to each sense and allow yourself to be present with the experience of that sense, that’s when you naturally start noticing more things around you.

    Maybe it’s the birds chirping, the humming of the fridge, or the smell of Earth when walking in the woods. You are constantly surrounded by information, you’re simply not receiving it because you’re not giving your full attention to your senses.

    Below are some ways that will bring you to your senses.

    • What sensations do you feel right now?
    • Do you notice your heartbeat?
    • What emotions are you experiencing?
    • What is the temperature right now?
    • What sounds can you hear?
    • What are some things you can see?
    • What are the colors or tones like?
    • Can you smell anything?
    • Can you taste anything?

    Slow down and start paying more attention to your senses daily. Every time you remember, bring it back and remind yourself to pay attention to the experience you’re having. The more you do this, the more mindful you will become.

    Identify nonverbal communication

    People are a big part of life. Being observant during social interactions can help you identify how people are feeling, navigate conversations better, and avoid potential conflicts.

    Part of being highly observant is to not only listen with your ears but use your eyes to guide the conversation too.

    When you are interacting with someone, you want to pay close attention to nonverbal signals because nonverbal signals tell you a lot about the person or the interaction. Things to look out for include:

    • The person’s body language: Are they looking confident and powerful, or drooping their shoulders? Is their body facing you or away from you?
    • Mannerisms: Is the person emphatic in their movements and behaviors, or not very animated?
    • Vocal tonality: What is the person’s tone of voice like? Crisp and clear, or are they mumbling?
    • Eye contact: Is the person’s eye contact strong, warm, cold, or fleeting?
    • Facial expressions: Notice the microexpressions on the person’s face. What is it telling you?

    Cultivate internal awareness

    Your environment can be separated into 2 brackets – the external and the internal. A highly observant person is also aware of their internal environment, such as what they’re thinking and what they’re feeling.

    To develop your observational skills, you need to work on your self-awareness. They are synonymous.

    You need to cultivate an awareness of who you are the way you are, what you’re doing wrong, and how you could be improving.

    Here are some things you should keep in mind about your internal environment.

    • What emotions are you feeling?
    • Are your thoughts positive, negative, or neutral?
    • What can you improve upon?
    • Where do you need the most healing?
    • What painful belief systems are you holding onto?
    • What reoccurring patterns can you identify in your life?
    • What are your triggers?
    • How do you act when under pressure?
    • Do you tend to react or respond?

    Be more inquisitive

    Noticing new things about your environment is only half of the journey. If you want to develop your observational skills, you need to develop a curiosity about it.

    If you’re curious about something, naturally you’re going to look into it and learn more about it. I was curious about spirituality so I crafted a life around it. I’ve explored it in much more depth than most people because curiosity drives me.

    Likewise, I am curious about people and spend plenty of time people-watching. I like to see how people act, behave, and respond because I can use that information to step up my social game.

    That’s why it’s important to not only follow your curiosity, but develop it too.

    Whether you’re looking into history, economics, or your healing, wonder why things are the way they are.

    Think about them.

    Try to figure things out.

    Be inquisitive.

    The more you explore your curiosity, the more you’ll discover links between things that once appeared to have no connection.

    Stop distracting yourself

    Being highly observant requires focus.

    If you’re constantly getting distracted, you’re never really giving anything much attention. This is why it’s important to slow down and learn to concentrate on one thing at a time (I know, it can be hard in our ADHD Tiktok culture).

    If you’re engrossed in your work, really focus on the task at hand. Learn what you need to learn to get it done.

    If you’re going for a walk in nature, focus on the sights, the sounds, the nature itself. Stop thinking so much and be present with the experience.

    By concentrating on one thing at a time and devoting all of your attention to it, you’re bound to pick up a lot more information because your mind isn’t elsewhere.

    Think critically

    Put your critical thinking to the test by trying to apply logic to any given thing that you’re witnessing.

    If you’re working within a business, think about how the business operates, and why they operate the way they do. If you’re looking at some beautiful architecture, think about how the building may have been built. Why did they design it like that? If you see some birds flying in a V shape in the sky, ask yourself why. If you’re not sure, research it, and see what you can learn.

    You should always be trying to figure out the things you’re witnessing. If you see something, don’t just brush it off. Think about why that particular thing is the way it is. Think about questions you can ask yourself about that situation or sight, and answer them.

    By thinking critically, you’re going to make a whole lot more sense out of the world, and start to see why things are the way they are.

    Exercises to become more observant

    Kid people watching

    Here we’re going to look at some practical exercises to build the muscle of observation.

    People watching

    Go to any public location and spend a few minutes picking out as many details as you can about the environment you’re in. You can bring a notebook and set a timer if you want.

    Try to identify some things about that environment that have previously gone unnoticed.

    If you’re sitting on a bench, observe what dynamics you see between people. If you’re in a café, pay attention to what’s happening around you. Do the employees look happy, nervous, or bored? Is the environment clean or dirty? What sorts of customers come in, and what do they use the space for?

    If you devote your attention to picking up more of the smaller details about that environment, you will learn much more about it.

    Make this a practice in every new environment you find yourself in, and take a couple of minutes to notice all the little things that brush by most people’s senses.

    Inspecting

    Pick an object that is in your immediate proximity. Maybe it’s your phone, a light, a mug, or a couch. Write down as many details as you can about that object until you run out of ideas.

    You can write down details about the color, texture, size, shape, stains, and any information you can observe about the object.

    If you designate all of your attention to one thing, there’s going to be plenty of information you’ve never noticed before.

    Do this as often as you like with as many things as you like, to build a habit of noticing the tiny details.

    Deep-diving

    Pick an event, subject, or occurrence, and spend ten minutes researching it. Try to cram as much knowledge as you possibly can about the history, the reason, the idea, and anything that comes to mind.

    If you choose lightning, research why lightning occurs. Research the different types of lightning, how quick the speed is, and what exactly happens when it hits something.

    If you pick the topic of trauma, look at what creates trauma. Why people develop it, how people can heal it, different types of trauma, why people repress it.

    Pick out one subject that you’re curious about and spend ten minutes researching as much as you possibly can about that given subject.

    Do this with something different every day, and you’re very quickly going to become more knowledgeable, and more observant of the depth of information that everything has.

  • How Can You Change Your Perception Of Life?

    How Can You Change Your Perception Of Life?

    How you view reality is a key to a good life. Whether your reality is a place of endless wonder or a depressing hole depends on how you look at it.

    Here’s the interesting thing.

    Reality can be whatever you make it, and you are 100% in control of that. By making some adjustments to how you see your life, you can have an infinitely better experience on this planet.

    In this article we’re going to look at the power of perception on your life experience, and what you can do to shift it in a direction that makes life worth living.

    What is your perception of life?

    A lens to see life through

    We assume that we all perceive the same reality, but everyone lives in different worlds. Since we are all individuals who have undergone different experiences, we all see the world a little differently. And that’s the beauty of it. Everyone’s life journey is unique, despite how similar some may seem.

    Your life experience is molded by some things such as:

    • Your beliefs
    • Your experiences
    • Your mindsets
    • Your influences
    • Your culture
    • Your values

    Together, all these different aspects of you create your perception of life.

    Your perception of life refers to a conglomerate of systems that form your view of reality. Everyone has a unique view of reality, no two people’s perceptions of it are exactly alike.

    Think about it this way.

    A corporate millionaire is going to have a very different perception of life than an indigenous shaman. A world traveler is going to have a different view of reality than a single mother.

    The frame that you view life creates the foundation for your life.

    If you believe that the world is going to hell and you’re a helpless pawn in the system, then you’re not setting yourself up for a very good experience. On the other hand, if you are optimistic about your future, you have adopted a growth mindset, and you see the world as your oyster where you can become anyone and do anything, then the reality you’re creating for yourself is going to be very different.

    Why your perception of life matters

    Your perception of life facilitates the experience that you have. It plays a role in how happy you are, how much you suffer, and what you make of your life.

    Let’s look at it from another angle.

    If you are a pawn on a chessboard, your perception of life is the board. It’s the framework in which you navigate your life experience.

    If your framework is fundamentally broken, you’re at a massive disadvantage. If your framework facilitates growth and expansion, then you’re setting yourself up for a successful life.

    Luckily, your perception of life is not fixed because naturally, it’s always changing. This means that your outlook on life can drastically change if you put in the effort to change it.

    Changing your perception of life is neither a quick nor easy process. It’s like planting a seed and tending to that seed as it grows into a beautiful tree.

    Developing new lenses to view reality

    Individuality of perception

    We’re all provided with a canvas, but paint different pictures on it with the experiences we have. Ultimately, everything in life is subjective because everyone sees everything differently. This is the basis of perception, understanding that life itself is subjective.

    Below are some different frames that people create through their life experiences. See if you can identify each person’s beliefs, experiences, mindsets, influences, and values which have created their perception of life.

    Identify your frame of reality, and write it down. Do you know what experiences have facilitated your current outlook on reality, and is it a desirable outlook to have?

    The world view of a traveler

    I perceive life in a way where we are responsible for what we make our lives into. If we don’t take some risks and face our fears, we’re going to end up stagnating.

    Therefore, I value adventure, life experience, and personal growth more than anything else. As such, I created this website around these values, to help you develop the same.

    This investment into my growth has worked out for me. I’ve been traveling the world for many years, embarking on many adventures, and experiencing so many different situations of all colors and flavors.

    To me, life is limitless. We all have this innate capability that needs to be nurtured. We might not be the right people to achieve what we want, but we can make ourselves the right people. I’m searching for the wisdom to reach my highest potential, and making the most of the journey.

    The world view of a spiritualist

    Matt has done a lot of inner exploration, and has discovered that he is happiest when he’s cultivating a deeper connection to the spiritual.

    Over time, Matt’s reality has become a very intriguing place. His faith has become very strong and he believes in many ideas after death, and these beliefs have completely eradicated his fear of death.

    Matt is on a journey to find those feelings of wholeness. He meditates a lot, does yoga, seeks human connection, and is by no means a superficial or materialistic person. He has learned to slow down and smell the roses.

    After all, isn’t that what life’s about? So he doesn’t spend his time worrying, but feeling love and compassion, and working to become a better person while in this fleeting meat suit.

    The world view of an entrepreneur

    Sheena perceives life in a way where fulfillment comes through following her passion and making something of herself. She has imagined every situation in life, but can’t see joy unless she is living the life that she wants to build for herself.

    As a result, Sheena worked hard to create her own business and now makes a good income with it. Sheena does what she loves and continues to develop her business, network, and help many people along the way.

    This drive to do what she loves has created a fulfilling lifestyle that she’s proud to have. She couldn’t imagine herself doing anything else with her life.

    The world view of a victim

    Joel perceives life in a way where he’s at a constant disadvantage. He doesn’t deserve what’s happening to him, and he doesn’t know why he’s so unlucky.

    Every day Joel seems to have issues with people, work, getting ahead, making money, or finding time to do what he likes. Everyone is always trying to bring him down, and he constantly needs to fight to survive in this cruel world.

    As Joel is an innocent victim. He feels that he has no power and that he needs to be compensated for the hardships that he has been through. He knows he will never make it as long as the world tries to keep him down.

    Changing your perception of life

    Perception of the brain

    How you are conditioned throughout your life molds your perception of life. This determines what you are receptive to, and how experiences are interpreted. This ranges from noticing different things, to having different expectations, associations, outlooks, and mindsets.

    After nearly drowning while swimming at the beach, you will not see the ocean the same as you once did. Your focus will shift from an enjoyable experience to associations with fear, unease, and trauma. Your negative experience conditioned you to see the beach in a certain way.

    Someone who was raised in an abusive family will live in a personal reality of fear and paranoia if these traumas are not addressed. Due to their previous experiences, their reality shifts to accommodate resonating beliefs.

    This person might become more receptive to other people’s suffering. They are likely to notice more crime, drama, and misery in everything they experience because they see the world as a hostile place. As a result, they live in an ugly reality.

    It’s not that people are changing the universal, subjective reality. They are distorting it to match their own experiences, and this is why the experience that you have plays such a pivotal role in your perception.

    Therefore it’s important to heal from the past and start having experiences that align with the reality you want to create.

    For the most part, it’s not your actual problems that cause suffering in your life. It’s the way you view these problems. This means that to solve a problem, you need to get to the roots of the problem for anything to change.

    Here are some things you can do to help aid this process of changing your perception of life.

    Challenge your belief systems

    Your beliefs aren’t concrete, but they play such a big role in how you view the world. Believing that the government is fundamentally rotten and that the whole system needs reform is going to create a very different world than if you think it’s all working perfectly fine.

    If you are an atheist, you’re going to have a different experience believing in a reality after death. Changing these beliefs will make you view reality in a completely different way, which facilitates different values, philosophies, and ways of living.

    So challenge your beliefs. Question yourself. Don’t just reinforce a certain belief because it’s your belief. Your mind should be a workshop that’s constantly evolving, so encourage that process by constantly challenging what you know, and realizing that nobody really knows anything.

    Apply cognitive reframing techniques

    When you experience something where you don’t have the full picture, don’t just jump to conclusions. Usually, we jump to conclusions and reinforce a subjective idea that may not be in our best interests.

    If you see someone speeding, they must be an asshole. If you see a rich businessman, he must be greedy. If you see a politician, they must be corrupt. But you’re jumping to assumptions and filling in the narrative based on your perceptions.

    So try changing the narrative. How can you reinterpret situations so you feel better? I’m not saying to pretend that something isn’t how it is, because that’s not the solution. But if it’s a subjective matter and you don’t know the truth, that’s when you want to create a new narrative.

    Break the pattern

    If you’re living in the same mental programs that you’ve always known, you’re going to get a whole load of the same crap from life.

    Unfortunately, it’s easy to get stuck in the same patterns. For the most part, they’re all we have ever known. But there’s a whole new reality out there! Without awareness, we never end up breaking those patterns and life stays the same as it always has.

    So you keep getting into relationships that aren’t good for you. You get taken advantage of at work and wonder why it keeps happening. But it keeps happening because you’re not fixing the root cause. You’re destined to repeat the same reality if you don’t actually break those patterns and change things up.

    So break the patterns and set yourself free from replaying the same situations in life, and thinking that this is just how life is, because it’s not.

    Expose yourself to life

    Your life is built up from your experiences. If you have lived in different countries, worked various careers, and been in different relationships, you’re going to have a whole lot more diversity in your life.

    If you live the life you always have, you’re stuck in your limiting belief systems simply because you don’t know what’s out there. You don’t know the sort of lifestyles that are accessible, and how those lifestyles change you as a person.

    This is why I think it’s very important to expose yourself to new ways of thinking, being, and doing. Expose yourself to the world, and try out new things that make you feel happy.

    Learn from other people’s perspectives

    People are goldmines of valuable information, but we’re so distracted that we never really listen to them.

    Of course, the ego factors in here. We tend to stick to our belief systems and assume we know what’s up, but what if we listened to alternative perspectives? What if we were genuinely curious to learn about other people’s worldviews, and understand how it makes them feel?

    Well, it’s not too late to start. Start hearing people out and having conversations with people who you think have nothing in common with you. I challenge you.

    If you’re pro-vaccine, I want you to have a conversation with someone who is anti-vaccine, and hear them out. Likewise, if you’re anti-vaccine, listen to people’s concerns and perceptions of being pro-vaccine.

    If you’re pro-Ukraine, listen to someone who supports Russia and vice versa. If you’re a Republican, listen to a Democrat. If you’re anti-drug, listen to someone who works with plant medicines.

    If you hear people out, you might start seeing eye to eye. The problem is that you don’t hear them out, so your perspective never broadens. So start listening to everyone, despite what they think. Knowledge is power.

    Make healing a priority

    Internal wounds degrade your perception of life. If you have a lot of trauma hidden in there, that trauma is going to reflect into your reality. This is why doing the healing is so important because if you’re healed, you’re going to see life in a beautiful light.

    People can go through the most horrendous things, but heal from them and be happy. likewise, someone can have everything handed to them in life, but be very miserable because they have neglected the little things.

    Make your healing a priority, and you’ll see the impact it has.

    Exploring different areas of your life

    Let’s break down your life experience into a few different sections.

    Analyze each section below and think about what sort of life you want for yourself. See if you can identify some barriers preventing you from becoming the person you need to be, to achieve the life you want to here.

    Create your own reality

    Perception is a double-edged sword. Life isn’t all drama and torment, there’s a wonderful side to it if you learn to see it. It’s through life-enhancing perceptions that people build the lives they do.

    If you have a healthy perception which encourages your development, the world becomes an amazing place. Through this paradigm shift, you will cherry-pick the positive elements of life, and see the best in everything.

    It’s important to understand that the conditions of your life don’t matter. They are simply advantages and disadvantages. Only your mind is capable of creating and sustaining happiness.

    Start changing your perception of the world to a happy medium. Focus on everything good that happens to you every day, and milk every positive experience that life hands you.

    Make a habit of this and keep at it, and over time, your reality will become a very different place.

  • From Desire to Contentment: Breaking the Cycle of Need

    From Desire to Contentment: Breaking the Cycle of Need

    If you make it in life, you’re going to be happy! As long as you dedicate yourself to a respectable career, hustle, and throw in some shiny things like a nice house, car, and maybe a kid or two, you have won life. But is it really that binary?

    As you’re probably well aware, there are a few missing factors here. The problem with this narrative is there’s no substance. The pursuit of happiness is existential in nature. Having everything you have ever wanted is nice and all, but it’s not going to fulfill you because that feeling you’re really looking for is achieved by doing the spiritual legwork.

    From here you have two choices. Continue on with this cycle of need by scratching the itch to gain more, or take the path less walked by cultivating contentment with what you have. One path will lead you on a rat race your entire life. The other will lead you to genuine fulfillment. It’s time to break the illusion of needing more, so let’s look at how to do it.

    Why having less improves your life

    Minimalistic artwork of a person backpacking

    Back when I was younger, I thought things were the keys to happiness. I was always envious of people with a lot to show for their lives. Why? Because I felt empty inside, and thought I needed to prove something to the world.

    To me, happiness was correlated with success, and success was a token of how much people had. When I decided to start traveling, my values changed dramatically. Not having a home meant I had to fit everything I owned into a backpack or get rid of it.

    So I trimmed back to the essential clothing, documents I needed, and a few things I use all the time such as my laptop, wallet, and phone. What was once a scary thought became the most liberating decision I ever made, because trimming back provided a wholeness I once never had.

    Now it has been around seven years on the road, having lived in eight countries, and visited many more. What I realized is that we often have so much that we don’t need, that cutting down to the minimum is such a good feeling because:

    1. We realize how little we need to be happy
    2. We get so much more value out of everything we have

    In this article, I’m going to tell you exactly how to break the cycle of need by cultivating contentment. This is going to allow you to indulge in a much richer life experience where you value what you have. Otherwise, below is an article I wrote about what success means. I suggest you have a read before moving on.

    Why is it bad to ‘need’ something?

    Desire is a double-edged sword, but need is a low vibrational energy. The reason why need sucks is because it distorts your reality by making you think you never have enough, therefore you can’t be satisfied with what you do have.

    Thankfully, the feeling of need is optional. It can be tricky to get out of, but if you have the bare essentials like food and water, you qualify. Breaking the perception of need requires you to build the muscle of gratitude.

    Here are some reasons why the feeling of need is harmful.

    • You end up spending a lot more money than you need to due to the belief that things will improve your life
    • You become dependent on things and use them as a crutch to feel fine
    • The desire to consume and accrue often becomes a form of escapism
    • Excessive consumption stops you from feeling your emotions and processing them
    • Excessive consumption reduces your self-control and leads to a lack of self-discipline
    • You become more cluttered as you have more things to deal with
    • Having excess things often causes you to become less grateful for what you have

    To explore the topic further, check out this article regarding escapism and our desire to avoid by attaining more:

    Truths I learned about finding true fulfillment

    There are three fundamental truths I have discovered when it comes to being content with your life. Reduce how much you consume, reduce how much you have, and stop seeking more.

    1. Stop consuming so much: The less you consume in general, whether it’s food, water, toilet paper, money, or materials, the more content you’re going to become.

    2. Stop accruing so much: Make sure you get a lot of value out of everything you have, stip down to the things you use regularly, and get lots of value from.

    3. Stop seeking more: Whether it’s money, relationships, or experiences, constantly working towards things is a sign that you’re lacking. If you want to be fulfilled, change your relationship with life by being present with the experience and navigating it instead.

    Fulfillment through perception: Viewing life through the minimalistic lens

    Minimalism paintbrush

    Minimalism is an ideology where you see your life in a frame where the less you have, the more value you get. This lifestyle isn’t just about trimming back, it’s an entirely different way of seeing the world around you.

    To go from desire to contentment, you need to maximize the value that you get out of everything you have, and everything you do. That’s what your sense of contentment simmers down to – how much you value everything in your life.

    Maximizing the value out of everything you have by minimizing your life gives you a form of freedom, detachment, and impermanence that is hard to achieve otherwise. That’s because possessions are a burden. They can be useful burdens, but they’re still burdens.

    When you think about it, most things provide nearly no value at all. They just become excess noise that doesn’t benefit your life in any way. Most of our lives are filled to the brim with stuff we don’t need (or use), but we have been conditioned that having more is a sign of success. This is the first thing we’re going to address.

    The fallacy of needing more: Social materialism

    Society is materialistic. We are conditioned to believe that a good life entails having lots of resources. That’s the bottom line of it. So we slave away to build the life we are told to dream about. If you fail, you have spent your whole life chasing a tale. If you succeed, you still won’t be fulfilled. Who’s the real loser here?

    Society will tell you that spending money will make you happier and that success correlates with a material condition. After all, if nobody buys pointless crap, the social structure will fail as it’s based on consumerism. Because of this structure, society is superficial, and people revolve their lives around acquiring useless things.

    People spending money isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The problem is that people are eluded into an artificial sense of fulfillment, and lose touch with what’s important.

    People’s values become skewed because they believe that authentic happiness must be paid for. So we end up chasing crap instead of going after things that provide genuine happiness – such as experiences, opportunities, connections, and spiritual growth.

    What are the real metrics of happiness?

    There is no correlation between wealth and happiness. The study ‘High income improves evaluation of life but not emotional well-being‘ supports this claim once you make enough to live comfortably.

    I have done a lot of soul-searching in my life, and what I find is that people who have little, in any country, are usually the most grateful, friendly, generous, and humble people you will ever meet. These are the metrics that I associate with happiness. Not wealth. So this has to tell you that so many of us are barking up the wrong tree.

    People with less don’t have the liberty to be brainwashed by this little voice in their heads. They dropped out of this materialistic rat race a while ago, and instead of tormenting themselves by believing they are losing the race, they take a different approach: By valuing the things that matter instead.

    The shocking truth about materialism

    Until you realize that 90% of the things you want won’t make you happier, you will always be controlled by them. Don’t be fooled by the carrot dangling in front of your nose. Now you need to resist the temptation to chase it!

    The things you’re chasing provide nothing more than a burden that supplements the ego. They just give you more to identify with and make it harder to let things go. Do you want to have a truly free life? Then what’s actually holding you back from achieving this sense of freedom?

    The more you have, the more attachment you form. You identify with your possessions and are eluded into a false sense of self. Ultimately, the more you identify, the more pain is generated through physical attachment and permanence.

    How to become more content with what you have

    Minimalistic flower artwork

    We have been conditioned through marketing, advertising, and visual pollution to have more. Instead of spending your life as a wild goose chase, what can you do to overturn this perception and get true value out of life?

    Happiness can not be found outside of yourself

    The things that you think you need are blanketing what you’re searching for underneath. You’re looking for a feeling of contentment which can be found through mindful consciously. By living consciously, you live a richer life because you’re present with all of your experiences.

    When you’re tempted to fall back into that pothole, take a moment to remember that happiness can not be found outside of yourself. So put this notion into practice by resisting the urge to get more, and focus on doing the inner work instead.

    It’s the little things that count!

    We have a natural propensity to place more value on expensive things because we equate cost with value. But how much does a sunset cost? What about a swim in the ocean, spending time in nature, that moment of deep laughter with your friends?

    All the things that count don’t cost a dime. So why are you buying all these things instead of indulging in real experiences? Living a life of high value is to focus on the little things. Experiences are what make your life better, not things. So instead of accruing things, start looking for something more substantial.

    Start appreciating what you have

    Building the muscle of gratitude should be the aim of the game here. When you’re grateful for all the things in your life, you’re going to be fulfilled. Ultimately, life is going to be much more wholesome.

    Think about it. The reason why people try and attain all these things is because they are trying to achieve the feeling. That feeling is gratitude which is a high vibrational energy, and it feels great!

    But the funny thing is that people tend to have it backward. They think that gratitude is dependent on having more when it’s not. Gratitude is a muscle that you develop. Sure, having more might give you an advantage here, but you absolutely don’t need more to feel grateful. Rather, it’s something you need to cultivate.

    So by reverse engineering the process and cultivating more gratitude in your life, you are creating a huge shortcut in life. I can’t go too deep into this phenomenon here, so here are a couple of articles that do.

    Reevaluate what’s actually important to you

    Fulfillment comes from having meaning in your life, not having stuff. Meaning is cultivated by walking your path in life and finding something deep inside yourself that gives reason. Allowing yourself to enjoy your possessions is fine. Having some things due to sentimental value, no worries. But there is a line here that you want to be careful not to cross.

    reevaluate what matters to you. I suggest writing a list of things that will make you feel better about your life. Keep this list handy and start working on those things. Here is an article that goes into more depth about this topic.

    Milk value from everything you have

    You can drastically reduce how much you consume by milking value out of everything you get. If you buy a chair, make sure you use it regularly, otherwise, what’s the point? Have a notebook? Fill up every space with ink before getting another. Have a laptop? How often do you actually use it? Are you using it to its full potential?

    Start by letting go of everything that doesn’t serve a high amount of value to you. There is nothing wrong with having possessions that provide a lot of value, but most people have so much excess. You will see that most things you have really provide no value at all. A large amount will provide a small amount of value, and very little will provide a lot.

    Start trimming the fat

    Keep the items you need, and those that you get a lot of value from, but let them go when their service is up. Look at what you own, and see how much you use everything. Use everything until you can no longer use it, instead of throwing away good items that can still provide value.

    There are so many things I don’t own, and have absolutely no intention to get them. I don’t need a TV or a car. All I have is my laptop which I use all the time, my phone, wallet, documents and passports, clothes, journal, and a few bits and pieces. And I genuinely feel like I have all I need with these things, and have no intention of getting more, unless I need it for some reason.

    If you don’t need something, don’t get it. Learn to appreciate what you have, and be grateful for it. If there’s something you don’t have much time for, then it’s probably not worth having.

    Simple tips to get more value from your life

    Minimalistic coffee artwork

    To really get more value out of everything in your life (and to appreciate the things you have), you need to make a big reduction in your life. This doesn’t mean doing anything dramatic, but you want to trim down your input and output to the bare minimum. Your life doesn’t have space for excess anymore.

    Watch how much you consume

    Avoid how much you consume. Besides the obvious things like food, alcohol, and sugar, this also applies to what you use. Toothpaste, cosmetics, electricity, TV, social media, and even external energies all contribute. Start reducing your input in general, and you’ll find that your happiness becomes much easier to sustain without this excess noise.

    Only buy what you need, stop splurging!

    After cultivating an awareness of how much you buy and what you actually use, start cutting out everything that you don’t have a good justification for your purchase.

    Cutting back takes a little discipline. Buying things is easy. It feels good because it gives you a dopamine kick. People tend to buy things when they feel down, whether it’s comfort food or a possession, it’s a core reaction for a lot of people. You need to be defiant of that reaction to impulsively buy, and see it as a muscle that you need to work.

    Invest in high-quality products

    Invest in high-quality items that provide lots of value through durability and lifespan, rather than low-quality items that are cheap and disposable. Due to getting higher quality things, you’re going to get so much more value from them. This also works well for your bank account as you aren’t constantly replacing items.

    Stop upgrading

    Instead of jumping to the next phone model as soon as it’s released, work your product until its death, or until you need a new model for a practical reason (sorry, being on top of fashion trends isn’t one of them).

    Avoid disposable items if you can

    To an extent, we can’t avoid disposable items. Coffee cups, toilet paper, packaged food. But there is a lot you can control. Besides having obvious environmental benefits, you just want to reduce your output and waste in every form you can.

    Minimalism is an important movement that will help you break the cycle of need. There has been a lot we’ve touched on in this article, so make sure you read over everything and apply what I’ve said. Remember, having less benefits you in so many ways. Make the effort to avoid this consumeristic trap that most people find themselves in.

    If you want to explore this topic more, I suggest checking out I suggest you look up The Minimalists. The minimalists are a trio of people who deep dive into minimalism, and the benefits of cutting back.