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Do you ever find yourself wanting to escape reality? Perhaps it’s all just getting a little too overwhelming, but there’s no off switch. Your desire to escape therefore leads to unhealthy habits, whether they be addiction, impulse, or overindulgence. Anything to get your mind away from the burden of life.
When life gets too stressful, I think we all want to escape reality. After all, it’s much easier to escape reality, than it is to confront these painful thoughts, emotions, or challenges we’re currently facing.
But where does escaping the stresses lead us?
To more stress, more worry, and more challenges because we’re avoiding the issue at hand.
Escapism was a common theme in my life. Come to think of it, I was always wearing an emotional Band-Aid because there was something hidden in the dark waters of my subconscious that I wasn’t ready to confront.
My desire to escape reality started as a coping mechanism. During my youth, I had a lot of mental issues, which led to a lot of emotional issues.
I was miserable growing up. Later, I discovered that alcohol and drugs temporarily relieved those painful feelings. So I took pretty much whatever I could get my hands on. Coffee, alcohol, nicotine, pot amphetamines, psychedelics, cough syrup, designer drugs, you name it. I did anything I could to induce an altered state of consciousness because that was the only time I felt like I was solving my problems.
Every time I came back down to Earth, it was just a matter of time until the feelings of emptiness returned. Again I would look for a fix. Life went on like this for quite a while until I had some revelations.
Then started the nomadic phase of my life. Don’t get me wrong, traveling has been one of the best things I’ve ever done, but no matter where I went or what I did, that feeling of emptiness would catch up with me.
I became so good at escaping that I crafted an entire life around it. There was always a new adventure to embark on, another girl to date, something to drink, or a drug to take. I never just sat with my experience of consciousness undisrupted for long enough to illuminate the darkness in it.
Many years have passed and I’ve now found healthier ways to overcome escapism. Let me get something straight, wanting to escape reality isn’t a bad thing. It’s natural, but it becomes an addiction if we don’t keep this desire in check.
That’s why I’ve written this article to illuminate the desire of wanting to escape reality, the different forms of escapism, and how we can stop it. This article will give you clarity on why you escape your issues, and how you can overcome this desire, to live a happier, purer life.
What causes escapism?
Escapism is a conscious or unconscious avoidance of reality. It’s when you distract yourself from experiencing undesirable feelings, thoughts, or situations.
Escapism is when you engross yourself in a fantasy to take your attention away from the real-life situation. However, itย isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The occasional detachment from reality by watching a movie or having some drinks with friends can give you the much-needed space from your problems, where you can revisit them with a clear head.
But there are types of escapism that are harmful. For example, regularly smoking pot as a way of temporarily subsiding the negative feelings you don’t want to confront is an unhealthy form of escapism. Binge-watching movies when you are in a stressful situation that needs resolving is an unhealthy form of escapism.
Here’s the difference:
- Healthy forms of escapism are when you temporarily remove yourself from a stressful stimulus to revisit it with a clear mind.
- Unhealthy forms of escapism are when you attempt to permanently remove yourself from a stressful stimulus, and it becomes a compulsion.
People tend to excessively escape as a coping mechanism, but they’re not fixing the problem. This means the stressful stimulus never goes away, so the problems pile up.
While some coping mechanisms like meditation, deep breathing, or venting to someone can help you address the underlying problem, unhealthy escapism is an avoidance of the symptoms, meaning you never get to the bottom of it. As a result, those problems, feelings, or situations just get worse, because they’re neglected.
Excessive escapism is a poor management of your emotional health. As a result, it leads to more stress and less productivity. It might provide temporary relief which is why it ropes people in, but compulsive escapism is never beneficial in the long run.
Forms of escapism
There are many ways that we can escape reality. Some forms of escapism are okay in moderation, other forms of escapism you should steer clear of entirely.
Here are some common ways that people escape their problems:
- Daydreaming
- Watching TV, movies, or videos
- Reading books
- Playing video games
- Scrolling on social media
- Listening to music
- Painting
- Excessive consumption of junk food
- Shopping/splurging
- Smoking or vaping
- Drinking
- Use of mind altering substances
- Sexual activity
- Working all the time
- Traveling
Types of escapism
There are different types of escapism. A type of escapism refers to the method by which someone escapes reality. For example, losing yourself in an artistic pursuit is a different type of escapism from resorting to substance abuse.
Here are some types of escapism:
Artistic:
Artistic escapism refers to activities such as painting, writing, playing music, or creating poetry. Artistic escapism is generally good for you as it gives you an emotional outlet through self-expression, and can also be therapeutic.
Entertaining:
Things like reading books and watching movies fall into the category of entertainment-based escapism. This form of escapism has benefits as it offers a mental refuge for a while, but it can also be a problem when the activity becomes excessive, as you end up neglecting the issue at hand.
Imaginative:
Imaginative escapism is when you do things like daydream and fantasize. This form of escapism can offer quick relief (after all, you can just think about your happy place), but doing it too often won’t help as it can lead to avoidance.
Impulsive:
Impulsive escapism is when you aim to get a dopamine fix. This is an unhealthy form of escapism as it can quickly spiral into addiction. Impulsive escapism includes activities such as drinking, taking drugs, eating junk food, impulsive shopping, and seeking excessive sexual activity.ย
How does escapism impact mental health?
Your desire to avoid unwanted feelings results in compulsively doing something. This unhealthy indulgence acts as a Band-Aid fix because it’s just covering up the issue, not creating a solution.
Often, people turn to escapism when they don’t have the emotional intelligence to deal with their trauma, stress, or mental health issues. The more severe the issue, the more of an incentive there is to avoid working on it, which can cause a relentless cycle of escapism.
Put it this way; Nobody wants to do the dishes, but if you let them pile up, you’re just going to have more dishes to clean.
In this sense, if you avoid your mental health issues, they’re just rotting under the surface of awareness. They’re not going anywhere just because you’re not looking at them.
That’s why it’s important to acknowledge your tendency to escape undesirable experiences and learn how to deal with them in a healthier way.
You need to make a practice of properly managing, processing, and healing your wounds instead of pushing them deeper into your subconscious to rot. This is the only solution to chronic escapism; be present with your problems, feel them thoroughly, and work towards solutions.ย
How escapism exacerbates mental health issues
When you are confronted with a difficult situation, it’s easy to bury yourself in social media, watch porn, and drink your life away.ย By giving in to the desire to avoid looking at why you feel the need to do these things, you become reliant on things to distract yourself.
So you end up constantly seeking pleasure to mask your pain while your problems keep piling up because they’re ignored.
Imagine you start feeling ill. Instead of going to a medical professional, finding out why you’re ill, and treating the cause, you neglect it. Because you’re neglecting the problem, the symptoms get worse because the underlying problem hasn’t been treated.
This is how escapism works. If you’re feeling a certain way and decide to watch TV instead of exploring those emotions, you’re ignoring the issue.
Excessive escapism hinders your personal growth. As someone striving to grow into your best, healed self, you need to face your issues head-on and get to the bottom of them. You need to do the shadow work to uncover why you feel a certain way (and why you’re avoiding those feelings).
When escapism becomes a problem, there is a root cause to it. This root cause could be stress, trauma, or dissatisfaction with your life. In my case, my desire to escape was mostly because of trauma.
How to Identify what you're escaping from
There’s a fine line between escaping occasionally to relax and doing it out of avoidance. You need to identify why you’re escaping, and if you’re doing it for the right reasons.
If you’re simply putting on a movie to relax after work, it’s probably not a big deal. But if you feel you need to do something to get away from a particular experience, then it’s coming from a place of avoidance which is never good.
For me, it was a matter of time until I was in a situation that I couldn’t escape from. After 5 years of traveling, suddenly I was back in Australia living with my mother, with no money, no work, no car, and almost no friends.
I couldn’t drink away my problems, I couldn’t go out and date. I was alone, helpless, and I knew that it was time to go inwards.
So I dried myself out and spent a lot of time hiking in nature and meditating. It was uncomfortable at first, but I gained some important insights by giving my true emotions an audience.
I realized that I still had some severe childhood wounds that were never healed. I thought I had overcome them by building an exciting lifestyle, but it was just a distraction to avoid regressing into childhood feelings. It wasn’t until I was forced back into those feelings that the real healing began.
If you want to overcome escapism, you need to identify why you need to escape. Do you feel you can’t handle the challenges life is presenting? Are there particularly painful emotions or memories under the surface that you don’t want to look at?
Is it an emotion that you’re struggling to deal with? If this is the case, you might be escaping as a way to avoid facing your trauma. If so, you need to take a problem-oriented approach by sitting with those emotions and processing them.
On the other hand, you might be escaping to avoid dealing with a problem in your life. If this is the case, you need to take a solution-oriented approach and work out a resolution to the problem.
Escapism is the effect, not the cause. By identifying the cause and healing that wound, you’re going to make the effect obsolete.
How to overcome escapism
The aim of the game is not to completely stop escapism. Understand that escapism is a natural part of our lives, and it can be useful. But as with anything in life, moderation is key.
Too much escapism, to the extent you aren’t dealing with your issues, ends up creating more issues via neglect. If you are always laser-focused on reality, then you never catch a break. Sometimes you need to escape your worldly concerns to revisit them with a fresh mind, but the escape must be temporary.
Therefore, you shouldn’t be asking how to stop escapism, but rather how to find balance with it.
I suggest sticking to creative forms of escapism as the act of creating things can benefit your mental and emotional health. It’s essentially impossible to go overboard when you’re doing something productive and therapeutic.
Avoid impulsive escapism, and be strict with yourself when you’re indulging. Make sure you’re also not indulging to avoid a certain feeling.
Otherwise, keep other forms of escapism to a minimum. It’s okay to watch movies, just be careful not to do it all the time. Recognize when you’re escaping just to relax and enjoy, and when you are doing it excessively.
Here are some things you can do to overcome the desire to escape.
Use escapism as a signal
Try to view excessive escapism as a signal to reevaluate yourself, and to look at what could use improving in your life.
These uncomfortable feelings are a corridor to growth, as long as you decide to look into your pain. If you try to escape your pain, you also avoid learning what you need to learn to grow as a person.
That’s why it’s so important to stop resisting what you’re feeling and give your true feelings an audience.
Start reflecting reguary!
Overcome your desire to escape by cultivating self-awareness. If you find yourself escaping, reflect. Think about why you’re doing it and what you’re running away from. To cultivate an awareness about hidden feelings that you’re unconsciously escaping, think about the following points.
- What activities do you engage in the most, and how often do you do them?
- Are there any stressors in your life that have been around for a long time?
- What are you insecure about? Are you taking steps to solve these insecurities?
- Is there any pressing problem in your life that you have consciously been avoiding?
- Are you aware of any triggers that you have that could be pointing to hidden trauma?
- Do you notice any reoccurring patterns in your life, and wonder why it keeps happening?
Become more proactive with your issues
Start taking action with your problems and look for solutions. Shift your energy from escaping a situation to fixing it. If there’s an outstanding issue in your life, get it out of the way before relaxing.
People tend to spend so much energy on escaping a situation when those resources should be used to problem solve. Before you turn away from your problems, realize that you have all the power over the situation, and only you can fix it.
Be productive instead of avoidant
Next time you feel the need to drink a beer or sink into the TV series you’re watching, change it up. Try exploring new hobbies that actually help you relieve stress and go into your emotions, while simultaneously being enjoyable.
Meditation is a great practice to start. Try going for walks in nature, or doing some yoga or breathwork. There are many things you can do that will benefit you. And once you practice them enough, you’ll find them to be so much more fulfilling than doing something.
Sit with your emotions to heal the root trauma
Healing comes from being completely present with your emotions.ย Try not to distract yourself when you feel crap.ย If you do that every time you feel miserable, your desire to escape will lose power.
It seems counterintuitive, but going into those feelings of contempt is what moves the needle with your healing. By being present with those emotions, you’ll find that it dredges everything up and out.
1 comment
really important…yes..make pain your friend…opposite of
knee jerk reaction..like touching a hot object…natural reaction is
to pull back…who wants to sit in a pot of boiling water…but maybe if more of us did..
we realize what we `ve done to our home…this planet