Living a nomadic lifestyle, it would be an understatement to say that I haven’t been in some difficult situations. But during my year living in the US, I was at an all-time low.
I was in a situation I didn’t want to be in, in a country I didn’t belong in, and things were not going to plan at all. I had no family or friends to talk to, and for the most part, I was completely alone in this journey.
During one particularly dark moment, that’s when I saw him. It wasn’t a person, it wasn’t god. I saw myself, and he saved me.
If you feel like you’re desperately looking for something that is outside of yourself. You are the missing link. Only you can fulfill that need in yourself, and you do that by coming to your own rescue.
Showing self-compassion during those dark moments
After several years of living in Vietnam, Mexico, and Guatemala, I made a detour to the United States due to difficulties traveling during the pandemic.
With a now-expired passport and no way to get back to Australia due to border closures during the pandemic, I was well and truly on my own.
I spent a couple of weeks couchsurfing with strangers and doorknocking for jobs. At the last minute, I found a job and a more permanent place to stay.
I was back on my feet, but during my time in the US, I felt very alone. Commuting by bus every day to work in a low-paying job waiting tables was a special kind of hell I didn’t want to be in. Then there was the fact that I felt trapped. I had no money to leave, and even if I did, I had no passport.
It felt like I had regressed to the hardest period of my life – and there was no way out. There was no escaping this emptiness I felt – Something I knew I had to confront if I wanted to figure out why the universe brought me here, and what I was supposed to learn from this experience.
What does it mean to be self-compassionate?
Being self-compassionate is like offering a warm embrace to yourself during tough times. It’s about treating yourself with the same understanding that you’d show to a close friend who’s going through a rough patch.
Self-compassion involves acknowledging your struggles without judgment, being gentle with your feelings, and providing yourself with the support and encouragement needed to navigate through difficulties.
If you have a strong support circle, maybe you don’t need to rely on self-compassion so much, because you get it from others. But many of us don’t have that, at least not at times.
Self-compassion is essential when we’re going through something difficult and don’t have a soul to talk to. When we feel like nobody else is there for us, we must be there for ourselves.
Generally, I don’t rely on self-compassion. But there have been situations in my life where I had to be there for myself. And because I was going through something alone, I genuinely felt compassionate for myself, which made me feel supported by my own eternal spirit.
Identifying the help you need
If you’re in a low spot in your life, ask yourself what you need. If someone were to come and help you get back on your feet, what is it exactly they would do?
It’s important to feel what you need in that moment. Is it support, love, encouragement? Do you just need someone to talk to?
Often when I see people coming to the aid of others without any hidden agenda, it jerks an emotional reaction. This tends to happen when I’m watching a war movie and reinforcements charge into battle to save their comrades. Or when someone goes back to help their friend despite risking their life in the process.
I get this emotional reaction when I see someone helping an injured or dying animal, or when someone sticks up for the underdog despite going against the odds.
Since I feel this way whenever someone comes to support or defend others, it tells me that there’s something there. Whether it’s a wound of neglect, betrayal, or abandonment, I’m not entirely sure. But it doesn’t matter.
These are triggers: Having a disproportionate reaction to something. A trigger might indicate a sore point, and this is how you can come in and save the day.
You can dig more into this in the article below:
Exploring the underlying wound of your trigger
Paying attention to these triggers showed me that I had a wound around betrayal. I would get emotional when I saw people supporting others because I didn’t feel supported.
As I still have wounds of betrayal, I tend to attract situations in my life where I’m taken advantage of by others. It never ceases to sting because due to this wound, I always make sure I’m unconditionally there for others.
That’s the silver lining, but the wound itself was something I never knew how to heal. As these patterns continued in my life, I found myself robbed of energy with nobody to help me get back on my feet.
I was getting sucked deeper and deeper into this hole of despair. These painful emotions were bubbling, and I just wanted to get it all out but didn’t know what to do.
Visualize your higher self coming to the rescue
Feeling at my worst, I was hoping that someone would reach out to me. But nothing changed. I started to feel more desperate, more alienated, and more lost.
At one moment when I was curled up on my bed, that’s when something happened. Automatically, I saw myself coming to my aid. He walked in the door, looking a little older, a little wiser, and a little more mature than I am.
In this visualization, this higher version of myself walked up to me with a look of compassion on his face.
He said, “It’s okay, I’m here for you now, you are loved”. I saw him comforting me as if I was watching both of us from a third-person perspective.
That’s when I felt it. The entire dam burst as I felt the unconditional support that I had been longing for. I started crying because I felt touched. I felt relieved. I felt cared for.
I realized that it wasn’t another person I needed, I don’t think that would have created the same emotional reaction. This whole time I needed myself, for I had abandoned myself.
By visualizing this higher version of me filling that hole, there was a beautiful moment of healing, clarity, and integration.
Everything you need is inside you
We look for support from others, and we start feeling desperate when we don’t get it. After all, no man is an island, but it’s easy to feel that we need others, when there might be nobody to help.
Learning to visualize yourself coming to your rescue is such a powerful technique, and goes to show that we have everything we need within ourselves.
When you vividly picture a higher version of yourself coming down the giving you the support you need, it has the same effect (or more) than if someone else came to your rescue.
That’s because you know yourself. You know exactly what will help you because you’re the one who desperately needs it. And when you give yourself the support you are looking for, you will feel a tangible difference.
So visualize yourself coming to your aid, and watch it as if it is a movie. Watch the scene in as vivid detail as you can, and experience how it feels. Watch your higher self showing you love, supporting you, healing you, and being there for you, and see how you feel afterward.
Supporting your lower self
For integration, visualize yourself going into an old memory to support you when you need it the most. Maybe this was when you felt alone as a kid, or you were going through a time when you felt unsupported.
Image yourself going into that scene, and give your younger self the support and care they need. Imagine that younger version of yourself melting in your arms while you tell him or her that everything will be okay.
Going back into a past scene and being there for yourself helps you integrate a past version of yourself. In this scenario, you are the rescuer. You may feel some shifts within yourself.
So besides visualizing your higher self coming to your rescue when you’re feeling low, also visualize yourself going back in time to rescue yourself during times you needed it, but didn’t have it.
With this visualization technique, you’ll feel a whole lot more wholesome, and you’ll be surprised by how effective it is.
1 comment
” So if you feel like you desperately need something, think about what you’re missing in yourself, and how YOU can fulfil that need FOR yourself. ”
this really resonated for me….. can save friendships instead of blowing them off because
they triggered an old wound
I never thought about an “older”… wiser version of myself..reaching out to help that younger injured
self……