Symbosity

Category: Character Development

Character Development looks at cultivating particular characteristics and traits to enhance your conduct with the world. Whether you’re learning how to become a better leader, improve your charisma, or increase your intelligence, each characteristic is an important building block to become the best version of yourself.

  • False Humility: The Self-Growth Trap You NEED To Avoid

    We all know that humility is a positive characteristic, so naturally, we want to be humble. In a nutshell, humility plays an important role in personal growth, self-awareness, and building healthy relationships, not to mention it’s also a good look. It’s an important characteristic to have, but let’s be honest…

    Are you humble because it genuinely makes you feel good, or because it reflects well on you?

    Many people want to be humble just because it’s a good look. Therefore, they end up swallowing their pride and playing the part for brownie points. But doing it just for the image leads to false humility – the appearance of being humble without actually being humble.

    I don’t think anyone ever thinks “You know what? I want people to see me as a selfish asshole”. But most people want others to see us as shining beacons of light because it’s good for the ego.

    In this sense, humility is often a show, it’s a mask to wear. People try to look humble, and therefore forfeit all the benefits of actually being humble. They become inauthentic – leading to disintegration and a skewed sense of self.

    This is why it’s crucial to recognize false humility and take steps towards developing genuine humility. Genuinely humble people don’t perceive themselves to be more advanced or more important than anyone else. They’re simply sharing what they know, and doing it with heart.

    Therefore, being humble is one thing, but it doesn’t make a difference unless you feel humble. It must be genuine because if you’re holding your tongue for the sake of looking humble, you’re not progressing. So let’s take a look at the difference between false humility and genuine humility in this article, and explore how you can embrace the latter.

    What is false humility?

    False humility and a spiritual ego

    False humility is when you’re trying to appear humble rather than genuinely feel humble. It often involves downplaying yourself to appear modest and discretely seeking validation, approval, or recognition. It can take the form of brushing off compliments, minimizing successes, or deflecting praise while secretly hoping for recognition.

    False humility is often a way of controlling our image to be seen as a selfless, positive person. Sometimes it might even work, but as long as we’re wearing a mask we will never see the depth of our dysfunction. If you can put on a mask to be seen in a positive light, you have no incentive to become more positive.

    People who pretend to be humble are often driven by validation. They put on an act to look good, rather than being integral to the feelings, beliefs, and values associated with humility. In the same way that you won’t heal a wound if you’re pretending to be tough and ignore it, you won’t work on yourself to genuinely become humble if you’re fooling yourself.

    People who are falsely humble are still very much caught in an ego complex, while people who are actually humble are outside of their egos and rather act from a place of heart.

    Some people might think they’re humble when they downplay their abilities, but in truth, it’s often a tactic. They want people to think “Oh wow, this person’s so humble!” Therefore, they act in a way that gives them brownies points.

    False humility can be surprisingly easy to miss because sometimes we don’t recognize it in ourselves. This is why recognition is so important. If you’re on a personal growth journey, you should always value the long and often daunting path to genuine change rather than taking the shortcut for temporary benefit.

    When we recognize false humility in ourselves, we can take steps to replace it with authenticity. This shift allows us to accept praise without guilt and recognize our achievements without fearing they’ll make us look prideful. Instead, we can focus on acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses and being more down to Earth without feeling overly important.

    Distinguishing genuine humility vs false humility

    Humility

    So let’s first identify what genuine humility looks like. People who are genuinely humble:

    • Don’t feel a need for external validation: If you’re genuinely humble, you don’t care what other people think of you. If people validate your actions or behaviors, so be it, if they don’t it won’t change a thing.

    • Don’t talk themselves up: Regardless of what you have achieved, you don’t feel the need to prove yourself by boasting or drawing attention to yourself. You are genuinely fulfilled through your actions, not from the validation or praise from others, therefore you don’t seek it out.

    • Don’t feel jealous of others: Feeling jealous of other people’s achievements is a red flag. Humble people see the value in everyone and perceive us all as being on the same team. This means you are happy for the success of others, and encourage them forward.

    • Listen more than they speak: Being genuinely humble means you’re on a constant path of learning – meaning you always strive to understand different perspectives, ideas, and beliefs. You recognize that there is always something more to learn, that everyone is a teacher, and you never consider yourself to have mastered anything.

    • Don’t combat people: If you’re humble, you’re not in the business of combatting other people, even if you believe they are wrong. You will understand that everyone has different perspectives, and they may be seeing something you aren’t.

    On the other hand, false humility is the greedy, jealous counterpart of humility. Here are a few ways it might manifest:

    • You often fish for compliments: This could look like saying, “Oh, it was nothing” when you’ve put in a ton of effort and want others to acknowledge it. Or when someone dismisses their success just to hear others reassure them how impressive they are.

    • You use self-deprecating humor to receive positive reinforcement: Sometimes people use humor to downplay themselves, hoping others will jump in with positive reinforcement. Often self-deprecating humor is fine, but when it’s a covert bid for encouragement.

    • You perform ‘good deeds’ but Seek Recognition for them: True humility means doing good without seeking praise. False humility, however, often looks like helping others but subtly bringing it up later so others can admire the generosity. This is also a common PR stunt for politicians, companies, and enterprises.

    • You avoid praise out of Fear of seeming arrogant: Many falsely humble people brush off compliments. False humility rejects acknowledgment out of a need to appear modest.

    • You tend to virtue signaling: One of my biggest pet peeves is virtue signaling to show others that you’re morally superior to them. Many ‘humble’ people seek brownie points by showing others just how ‘good‘ they are. They may not say it, but they’ll scream through their actions to admire them.

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to be humble as long as it’s balanced. However, those feelings of humility must be authentic. If you’re trying to be humble and taking shortcuts to do so, then you’re probably doing more damage than good.

    False humility is a problem because while authenticity leads to genuine growth and healing, inauthenticity leads to disintegration. When pretending to be a certain way without feeling congruent with it, we create a discrepancy.

    To avoid the trap of false humility, you need to focus on the intrinsic values of humility rather than the image. Focusing on your feelings and desires gets to the root of the issue, while attempting to solely behave in a way that gets you spiritual brownie points is a shortcut… off a cliff.

    Here’s the thing.

    False humility is about how you look on the outside and is focused on your image. Genuine humility is about how you feel on the inside, and it has nothing to do with your image. You can fake your image but you can’t fake your feelings.

    Therefore, don’t focus on your actions because they’re not a good indication of humility. Focus on feeling genuinely humble, and you’re on a better path.

    To be fair, we all want to be recognized to some extent. We want to prove our existence, and this is what the ego thrives off. After all, recognition plays a big role in social status and our perceived level of success in life, therefore it has value.

    In this day and age, it’s best to focus on balance.

    It’s fine to have some pride, however, it should be moderated with humility – To not get a big head out of your achievements or perceive yourself to be more valuable than anyone else. Sure, it’s great when our hard work is recognized, but we shouldn’t be looking for that recognition.

    So the real question comes down to your desire for validation. Have you ever asked yourself why you desire external validation, reinforcement, or approval? Usually, there’s a deeper underlying issue that causes false modesty.

    If we want to fix the problem, and need to get to the roots of it.

    Why do you seek external validation

    People often seek validation when they feel they have something to prove. This desire to prove yourself can be a manifestation of cultural conditioning, among other things. After all, our entire social system revolves around this elusive idea of success, so it tends to weigh heavily.

    Cultural and social conditioning can be influencing factors in determining why people want to present an image aligned with virtue, happiness, and success, but on the other hand, a lack of humility can stem from self-worth issues.

    The desire to prove yourself is likely due to feelings of deep-rooted inadequacy, and you seek external validation to cover the wound of inadequacy.

    People often overcompensate by boasting about their achievements or successes because deep down they feel they’re not good enough. This is often why people seek validation, or approval because they don’t feel worthy so they look for positive reinforcement.

    On the other hand, people who are secure in themselves are generally more humble because they don’t have a hole they’re trying to fill with external validation. Genuinely humble people feel worthy which is why they don’t seek recognition. They recognize themselves, and since they value themselves, their cup is already full.

    Therefore, the real target here is to work on your self-worth, as genuine humility is a byproduct of it.

    This is why humility can be difficult when you feel you are lacking. Consider the areas of your life where you feel inadequate. Identify whether you are covering that hole with validation, and how you feel if you don’t receive validation for others.

    Stating our achievements makes us feel like we’re winning the game, so what you need to do is go cold turkey and inspect where it hurts.

    For example, during my youth when I hadn’t yet acquired dating skills, I had to spout to my friends about every romantic success I had. This made me feel like I was worthy. Not mentioning my occasional successes made me feel like a loser.

    Now being more mature, I don’t feel the desire to tell people about my dating life. If they ask, sure, I’ll be honest, regardless of what’s happening at that time in my life, but I’m not looking to talk about it or won’t bring it up in conversation. It’s an area of my life I feel quite fulfilled in, so my behavior corresponds.

    Learn to be honest and avoid bringing up topics that rub your ego unless you’re asked.

    How to develop genuine humility

    The impermenance of life

    As with any personal development pursuit, it can take time, patience, and practice to become more humble. It’s important not to treat humility as a switch, but rather a seed that must be cultivated over time – a manifestation of your inner workings, feelings, and state of consciousness.

    Here are some things to consider:

    • You’re NEVER a master: Realize that no matter how high you climb, there is always another level of learning. Therefore, never refer to yourself as a master. Other people may if they believe so, but you shouldn’t.
    • Speak from experience: Talk from your personal experiences and what you’ve learned through them. Avoid blanket statements or matter-of-fact statements.
    • Listen more than you speak: Every person has valuable information, traits, and qualities that you can learn from. Direct your focus to learning rather than assuming you know it all.

    Here are some things to avoid:

    • Assuming you’re highly respected: There is no need to tell people you’re highly respected. Sometimes I hear people do this to prove a point or flaunt their authority in a space, but it sounds foolish at best. The evidence will speak for itself… if it’s true.
    • Telling people you know: Even if you know a subject well that someone is talking about, don’t combat people when they tell you things you already know. Avoid cutting them off to tell them you already know that. Perhaps listen to understand their perspective.
    • Don’t boast about your following: Regarding social media, regardless of how many people you’re connected to, it’s best to take a modest approach or avoid the topic altogether. Telling people that you have a big following, or that you’re a celebrity or influencer is lame.
    • Believing you know more than others: This comes from a position of arrogance. Assume there is always something to learn from everyone, and there is always something that every person has a unique perspective or understanding of.
    • Telling people you’re successful: Let it speak for itself.
    • Telling people you’re spiritual: We’re all spiritual. It doesn’t matter how spiritually advanced you think you are, or how much wisdom you have, people often develop a spiritual ego in this area. Take a modest approach and avoid talking about your spiritual pursuits unless relevant.

    Now that we’ve gone through a few humility dos and don’ts, let’s look at some more in-depth points.

    Become a conduit for your influence and power

    Perceiving yourself as a conduit for any wealth, influence, and power you have is the first point I want to make, and probably the most important shift you can make. Rather than seeing yourself as the sole creator of everything you have, a humble view is to see yourself as a vessel for god to work through.

    If the power is not yours, but rather a universal force that is passing through you, then you will see yourself as a messenger. There’s a reason why people in spiritual leadership positions tend to perceive themselves as conduits for their power because it keeps them humble which is important in any spiritual pursuit.

    Now, some people may get head-full when they think about it this way – thinking they’re the messenger of god. This isn’t the approach we’re going for. You’re a messenger, as is every person who walks this Earth, most people just don’t realize it.

    Stop focusing on yourself

    We tend to get caught up in our narratives and forget that everyone else is caught in theirs too. Therefore, we’re trying to prove ourselves to people who aren’t paying attention to us.

    The truth is… nobody really cares what you’re up to. It’s not because they’re selfish or self-centered, nobody is watching you closely because they’re focused on themselves. Therefore, when you’re thinking about proving yourself in some form, remember that your success is the least of their concerns.

    Start building the muscle of not caring what others think about your life, and remember that you have nothing to prove to them. Focusing on your joy is a better road to take.

    Don’t make comparisons

    Most of us tend to compare ourselves, or our progress to other people. This is a lose-lose situation because you’re stepping away from genuine humility. To beat false humility, try to not care too much about where people are in life compared to you. It’s a slippery slope into self-centeredness.

    Just as I was writing this I checked out someone’s Instagram I know and saw that they have a relatively large following. For a moment I felt envious, overshadowed, and even feeling a little sorry for myself before bringing it back to Earth.

    A deeper part of me kicked in saying ‘This doesn’t matter, why do you even care?’ It’s normal to feel a little envious of people who have made it further than us in some regard but remember, we all shine in different areas. Own it, but don’t bloat about it. 

    Lean into your vulnerabilities

    Naturally, we want to be a little protective about our vulnerabilities. Ideally, I would say that we can be completely open with everyone, but in the real world, sometimes people take advantage. Lean into your vulnerabilities by expressing yourself, showing emotion, and being transparent, but don’t be too trusting.

    For example, admitting that you don’t know something and being willing to learn from others is a sign of humility. But of course, you must be genuinely curious. You must want to know and be honest. When you step into your vulnerabilities, you feel more free in a way.

    You won’t shy away from questions or avoid certain discussions because they’re sensitive, or perhaps because you don’t have a great answer. Rather, you will be transparent and allow people to see you for who you are because you find strength in it.

    Speak about your achievements after

    Part of the trap of ego is to talk about what we are doing or want to do. We soak up all the validation and often become complacent because we have already gotten what we were looking for. I’m certainly guilty of this and feel ashamed when I don’t meet these preimposed expectations.

    A better way to approach this is to speak about your achievements after you have achieved them. For example, if you just finished your medical degree, don’t tell people you’re a doctor. Be honest with yourself. Even so, don’t bring it up unless you’re asked or it’s relevant to the conversation, otherwise you’re fishing for compliments.

    Let recognition for what you do organically come to you. Don’t seek it out, especially if you haven’t yet achieved it yet.

    Speak from your personal experiences

    Something I often do is talk about things from an objective perspective. I will tell people about the spiritual dimensions, spirits, and energies as fact. What I’ve learned is to speak from my personal experiences. I’m not claiming to know anything, but I will lay out my experiences, and speak from perspective rather than fact.

    Some good phrases to use include:

    • From my experiences, I…
    • I believe….
    • I’m not entirely sure, but…
    • My understanding is….
    • This is what I was taught…
    • This is what I know…

    It’s best to take a more modest approach when it comes to speaking about what you know, especially if it’s contested.

    Keep learning!

    Have you ever heard the phrase: the more you know, the less you know? Well, I know so incredibly little, that it would blow your mind!

    Jokes aside, have you noticed that the more you learn about any given topic, the more about it you realize you don’t know? More information is illuminated as you dig into any concept, perspective, or idea, and only by learning we can realize how ignorant we were.

    I once heard the phrase ‘There is no such thing as mastery because we are all students of life’. I agree because mastery implies that you know it all when there is always more to know. Therefore, realize that you probably just know a slither of the information out there, despite how much you know, and talk about it from this perspective.

    Put it into perspective

    At the end of the day, sometimes we just need to put it into perspective. Look outside at the stars. Think about how big this world is, and how small you are. Think about how much is happening all around you at all times, and that you’re just one person.

    This isn’t intended to deflate you by any means, but it does help to realize that you’re just one person. It doesn’t matter. You will live, you will die, as we all do.

    Learn to see the beauty in the temporary nature of all things, in your mortality, and realize that the world will continue spinning with you or without you. Sometimes, you just need that step back, and to put it all into perspective.

  • Humility Vs Pride: How To Find The Right Blanace

    Ever since embarking on a spiritual journey, I always thought that humility is the ultimate goal of anyone who’s trying to get closer to truth. Although humility is an important part of spiritual growth, in its pursuit we tend to neglect its estranged cousin – Pride.

    Pride is often seen as the bad guy – every spiritual seeker’s nemesis. We get the idea in our heads from all these transcendent Gurus and egoless mystics that ego = bad, and that pride is associated with the ego.

    To some extent, pride is associated with the ego, especially when we develop a distorted sense of self-importance. However, pride isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

    On one hand, we should be proud of who we are and what we have accomplished. We should have some pride because it’s a propeller that pushes us to achieve more. On the other hand, we can also veer too far into pride where it evolves into its toxic counterpart – Arrogance.

    We can definitely become too prideful, and we can also feel no pride at all. Either way, it’s a disadvantage. For the healthiest balance, we should have some pride, but it must be counterweighted with humility. 

    This is why it’s important to discuss humility vs pride in this article and explore how can can find the right balance that helps us navigate life in the best possible way. 

    Humility vs pride: What’s the difference?

    Humility

    Humility and pride are often seen as opposite sides of the same spectrum, and generally, we value humility over pride. Humility is seen as a virtue while pride on the other hand is often seen as a sin – the shameful counterpart.

    Yes, generally speaking, we should be humble. We shouldn’t boast or brag about our achievement, or believe that we are above anyone. However, we do need some self-importance in this day and age, otherwise, we’re not going to create the lives we want.

    Being humble involves recognizing our limitations, faults, and flaws realistically, and valuing everyone around us. It’s a view of life where we see ourselves as a small part of a much larger system, in which we wouldn’t be where we are without others.

    In contrast, pride is often seen as an inflated sense of self-importance. Someone who has too much pride tends to believe that their achievements overshadow others which leads to arrogance, egocentrism, and eventually disconnection.

    But life isn’t as black and white as one constituent being a good characteristic and one being a bad characteristic. We should feel some pride in our lives as long as it’s kept in moderation. Likewise, if we’re overly modest, then we won’t get the recognition we deserve which can stunt our relationships, career, and even spiritual growth.

    Humility and pride are a double-edged sword There needs to be a balance between them if we are to achieve balanced lives where we can excel in what we do and feel good about it, but not let that bloat out egos.

    Often in my life when I’m getting a little too head-full, the universe will give me a cosmic slap in the face and knock me off my podium as if it’s trying to teach me a valuable lesson: humility.

    There seems to be a mechanism where if I’m not genuinely feeling humble along my spiritual pursuits, I’ll soon land in a situation where I can’t avoid that lesson.

    But it’s a double-edged sword. At other times my self-worth will take a beating. Humility will wither into discouragement or a lack of drive. I’ll feel unmotivated and believe that I can never contribute anything of value to the world.

    Ideally, I think it’s best to achieve our dreams, but at the same time not get a big head about it. When people strike the right balance between pride and humility, they can be successful and proud of themselves for achieving the lives they did. But they’re also down-to-earth and modest and don’t feel like they’re above anyone.

    You see, humility is good as long as it’s back with some pride. Pride is good as long as it’s moderated with humility. Together, they make a great team that encourages our growth in all areas without toxicity.

    Healthy pride vs toxic pride

    Pride often gets a bad rap these days. After all, it’s considered to be one of the seven deadly sins. Pride can be a bad thing, sure, but when it’s moderated with humility, it can become a force for good.

    Let’s break this down into 2 categories:

    • Healthy pride: When you are proud of who you are, but it’s contrasted with humility
    • Toxic pride: An exaggerated sense of self-importance with a lack of humility

    Generally speaking, we want to be humble, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be proud of our achievements. We should be proud of ourselves because at healthy doses pride leads to higher self-esteem and confidence.

    Too much pride isn’t good because it becomes toxic. It leads to arrogance, egocentrism, and a bloated sense of self-importance. But we’re only looking at one side of the coin.

    This is the distinction we need to make.

    Why some pride is necessary in this day and age

    Unless you’re a guru spending his years in solitude, or a self-sufficient farmer who has no need for the amenities of the modern world, we need to have some fighting force behind us, otherwise, we’ll never stand out from the crowd.

    As pride relates to our sense of self-importance, it can be a desirable and necessary force to become someone. We want to think highly of ourselves. We want to believe that we are the best candidate for a job, or that we have what it takes to succeed because if we have no pride, we have no fight.

    In the ideal world, we could spend our lives meditating and being one with nature, but there’s a reality we need to face.

    We need money, we need to work, and we need to survive. Unfortunately for most of us, we don’t have the luxury to be nobody. Not if we want to raise families, support our parents, and afford to have a comfortable life in this economy.

    Especially in the digital age if we’re trying to market ourselves or a product, we want to come across as an authority in the space. If you’re too humble, nobody is going to take you seriously as an expert. If you’re too prideful, you tend to oversell yourself and look crummy at best, or like a scam at worst.

    You need a balance of humility and pride to be taken seriously.

    This allows you to portray your authority and experience, but to do it in a way that doesn’t boast. A balance of pride and humility allows you to feel that you can provide value to others, but also be down-to-earth and relatable.

    As someone who is also trying to make it in the digital world, I have struggled to find the balance between asserting what I know and remaining humble as I do it. Oftentimes I won’t speak up, because who am I assume I know it all. Other times I will become too self-focused. Being too far on either side of the spectrum isn’t helpful!

    From my experiences, people tend to respect me more (and take what I say more seriously) when I’m not positioning myself as a teacher, but rather an ordinary person who is sharing his truth.

    But it must be genuine, not because you’re trying to look good because that creates false humility.

    I find a good balance by speaking from my own experiences and avoiding stating anything as objective truth. I suggest being authentic to what you know and what you’re learning, and being transparent.

    This is good because it humanizes you, and it also keeps your ego in check by bringing your attention to what you don’t know.

    Humility vs Pride in our relationships

    Humility vs pride in our relationships

    Humility opens doors in relationships.

    We’re more willing to connect with others when we genuinely feel humble. Likewise, we tend to seek understanding from different perspectives which of course is an essential ingredient in a healthy, respectful relationship, whether it’s with your partner, kids, parents, friends, or work associates.

    Generally speaking, humility is an attractive trait because it shows others that we aren’t caught up in trying to prove ourselves. There’s nothing more unattractive than someone who thinks he’s the center of the world, especially if he can’t walk the talk.

    Generally in the context of relationships, pride isn’t something to be proud of… but there is a balance. I’ve experienced the contrary, that this hasn’t worked well for me in my professional life (or romantic life) either.

    One of my biggest issues in life is feeling worthy.

    As long as I can remember, I haven’t valued myself or my work nearly as much as I should. Even when people tell me that I’m talented or skilled, I would shrug it off and say “It’s okay, but it’s nothing compared to other people out there”.

    I would undervalue what I give and feel ashamed of asking for money. This has resulted in being severely underpaid, doing lots of things for free, and barely making enough to get by. This lack of self-worth led to a money block which exacerbated this dynamic and further deflated my self-worth.

    I understand more clearly now that having some pride is an important component of self-worth, confidence, and building a healthy relationship with money. If you have no pride, you’re not going to value your work or feel comfortable asking to get paid for it. If you don’t value your work, other people won’t either.

    This is why we need some pride if we’re going to ‘make it’ in life because it plays an important role in self-evaluation.

    Healthy pride can motivate us to advocate for ourselves, but excessive pride can harm relationships, whether they be with family, romantically, or professionally. When expressed healthily, pride helps us maintain boundaries and advocate for our needs.

    Why humility is important in a spiritual context

    We often view humility as a religious thing, but is it?

    Humility has always had close ties with spirituality, regardless of the religion or belief system because it’s seen as an important key in our relationship with god – however you want to define it.

    Every spiritual belief system I know teaches the seeker to be a servant to god. Sure, the interpretation of god changes, whether it’s the Great Spirit, the Universe, the collective consciousness, or the Divine Self, but it’s a recurring theme within spirituality so there must be some truth in it.

    Logically, it makes sense.

    Humility allows us to let go of the ego and connect more deeply with spirit, which is commonly portrayed as the path to god. The ego is like the plug and pronounces our humanness, so naturally, when we move further from the ego, we connect more deeply with the soul.

    In this context, pride is often seen as an attachment, which isn’t seen as a helpful part of spiritual evolution. While humility is often seen as a symbol of wisdom – that which is associated with spiritual growth, healthy pride is also an important part of the human experience that we can’t neglect, despite how far we delve into spirituality.

    During our spiritual journeys, it’s particularly easy to lose modesty and form a spiritual ego. This is a common problem many of us face as we grow, and likewise, it’s a part of growth – to find the right balance with humility.

    Recognizing where we fall on this spectrum helps us gain a balanced perspective that honors our accomplishments and acknowledges our continuous journey of learning. By practicing humility without losing sight of our worth, we can find a grounded approach to spiritual growth.

    Finding the right balance between humility and pride

    Striking a balance between humility and pride isn’t about choosing one over the other. It’s about knowing when each serves you best. The most growth happens when humility keeps us open to learning while pride motivates us to value our progress. 

    It’s no wonder why the teachers in my life who I consider to be very advanced are often also very humble, yet at the same time very well accomplished. They never claim to know anything but could talk your ear off for hours about particular subjects.

    The most successful people strike the right balance of humility vs pride because if you lean too far in either direction, it becomes a disadvantage. Balancing humility and pride is more than just a practice. It’s a lifelong dance, one that leads to a more meaningful life when we do it right.

  • The 8 Keys to Live an Adventurous Life

    The 8 Keys to Live an Adventurous Life

    People say a lot of things about me, but I’m glad to say that boring isn’t one of them.

    I don’t make a lot of money, I don’t have some bigshot career or fancy house. But I have crafted a life for myself that is abundant in adventure because that’s what I value in life.

    I’m not the man you would come to if you’re seeking advice to climb the corporate ladder. But if you’re after a life as an adventurer, an explorer, or a nomad, maybe I’m worth hearing out.

    So let me tell you a little about how I crafted a life full of adventure for myself, and how you can do the same for yourself.

    Developing a thirst for adventure

    IMG 20211230 161717 616 e1675652353500

    When I was in my early twenties, I was on track to live a cozy life.

    Go to university, get a degree, then a job, and build from there. I had a path to follow, and it was simple. But the trajectory of my life was abruptly shattered after I went through a spiritual awakening.

    For the first time, my consciousness was opened to new dimensions of my life experience.

    The idea of working the 9-5 became repugnant as I developed a thirst for something more from life. Surely there’s more to this I thought. I just couldn’t see the joy in living a life that may be comfortable, but hollow. 

    That idea set me off on a very different life journey. So with the scaffolding of a plan, I set off to travel the world indefinitely.

    Jump forward seven years, I have now lived in eight countries, boasting a treasure chest of incredible memories. Amongst many odd jobs, I have worked alongside shamans, as a teacher, a coach, a tour guide, a bartender, and a writer. I have met so many amazing people, have had lives with others, and I’ve traveled into the deepest depths of my consciousness and beyond.

    If there’s one thing I’ve done well in life, it has lived it to its absolute fullest. And that’s something I’m very proud of. Not just because it has been an incredible experience, but because I’ve learned so much throughout this adventure in consciousness.

    It’s easy to tell you to try new things, but you’re not here for generic pointers. If it was that straightforward, you would be doing it already.

    Here we’re going to get to the roots of the matter, and you be the judge. I’m going to tell you everything I know about living an adventurous life because you’re only on this planet for the blink of an eye.

    I’m not necessarily going to tell you what to do. We’re all different. What I’m going to do is help you change the infrastructure of your mind, to perceive life in a way that facilitates adventure, spontaneity, and exciting new experiences.

    What makes life adventurous?

    Black sheep

    Everyone has a different idea of what having an adventurous life means, but I see it as the quality and quantity of diverse experiences that you have.

    I say this because some people might occasionally have incredible experiences, but they don’t happen often. For the most part, life is pretty much the same thing, and there’s not a whole lot of spice to it.

    Other people might have lots of smaller experiences such as going out, meeting new people, and doing different activities. But none of these experiences are necessarily life-changing.

    So even though they may have busy, eventful lives, nothing really stands out.

    To have the adventurous life you want, you need to be having different experiences regularly, and memorable experiences as much as you can.

    It’s okay to have some routine, but you don’t want the routine to turn into complacency. To live an adventurous life, you should always be on the lookout for exciting new experiences to mix things up, so that your life never feels stagnant.

    Before we move on, I need to address something important. People tend to think that an adventurous life just means getting out and doing lots of interesting things. But you’re missing a whole dimension of adventure if you approach it from this angle.

    Living an adventurous life is as much of an internal process as it is an external process. I’ve experienced more of a thrill in deep states of meditation than climbing active volcanos. My search to understand what’s underneath these layers of flesh and bone has been more of a mindfuck than living out of a backpack for the last 5 years.

    Some signs of an adventurous life involve:

    • You value life experience
    • You’re a YES person
    • You seek out new experiences
    • You get bored of routine
    • You’re always up for something new
    • Complacency is your enemy
    • You’re constantly pushing your boundaries
    • You like to get outside your comfort zone
    • You are your own teacher
    • You prefer to live in the moment
    • You don’t let things hold you back
    • You recognize when you’re making excuses
    • Do you look at everything through the eyes of a baby?

    There are 2 major components of living an adventurous life: Exploring your internal reality and exploring your external reality. These components are like the yin and yang of adventure, so don’t neglect either of them.

    The internal reality

    Being adventurous pertains to more than exploring your extrinsic reality. Although this is what usually comes to mind when people think of adventure, only looking for adventure in the world lacks substance if you’re not also going inward.

    You can go to amazing places and embark on fun adventures, but unless you’re exploring who you are, you’re cutting a whole dimension of experience out of the adventure of life. Because it’s so much more than the things you do that gives you a sense of adventure. It’s the exploration of your consciousness, and looking for a deeper meaning to your existence on this planet.

    I know you probably came here expecting some applicable tips, not an existential crisis, but going inward and exploring your internal reality is crucial to living a truly adventurous life.

     

    The external reality

    Of course, if you only approach the internal aspect, life can also feel a little dull. Regardless, life will be a wild adventure in consciousness as long as you explore who you are, but without supplementing that inner pursuit with real-world actions, it is much harder to reap the benefits.

    So explore your external reality too. Get out of your routines and do new things. Partake in new activities and challenge yourself. Travel. Experience as much as you can in this world, and your life is going to be much more colorful.

    But remember to balance this outward pursuit with the internal quest. Because together, that’s what creates an adventurous life, inside out.

    Reevaluate what’s important to you

    I wasn’t always an adventurous person. Throughout my journey of self-realization, I had to critically look at my life, and reevaluate what’s important to me.

    I concluded that having a life rich in experience is more important than having a life rich in possessions. I would rather live a life that I’m proud of, rather than one that other people are proud of. And because of these decisions, I certainly had to make some sacrifices.

    It’s important to acknowledge that your values set the coursework for your life. If you value things like wealth and stability, you’re going to sacrifice things like adventure and spontaneity.

    Imagine you’re a character in a game, and you have a certain amount of points to allot to certain areas of your life. If you use up all your energy points on wealth generation, it comes at the sacrifice of exploration, adventure, and diverse experiences.

    In the perfect world, we would have it all. But we only have so much time and energy to give, so you need to be a little selective about what you spend it on. I’ve spent many years traveling the world and indulging in life, but it has come at the sacrifice of having a stable, comfortable life. If I decided to pursue a career in Landscape Architecture (what I studied at University), I could have a cushy life by now. But I decided to travel instead.

    So here’s a perspective I want you to look at.

    Life experience is more valuable than book smarts. You can theoretically learn about everything, but unless you experience those concepts in real life, it doesn’t mean a whole lot.

    With that said, I see an adventurous life as study. So by having this lifestyle, I’m gaining so much more knowledge and wisdom about life, than if I were to spend my life experience on a single career.

    Now I consider myself fairly weathered. I’ve had a few experiences in this world, and my entire reality has changed form.

    Especially if you’re on a personal growth journey, living an adventurous life is synonymous with it. So do it for you. Not just to make your life fun, but as an investment for growth, knowledge, and wisdom.

    Stop conforming to the majority

    Let’s face it. The majority is boring. That’s because most people value stability, comfort, and social status over having rich experiences.

    Therefore, the baseline is to shoot for a life that’s rooted in these particular values. That’s society for you. If you’re trying to fit in, aiming for a good respectable career, buying a nice house, and setting up your future is the way to go. You’re not going to be an outlier in this sense.

    But if you don’t fit into this large box, you need to resist the urge to follow what’s considered normal.

    This means you will need to reject what society tells you is a good life. You may need to reject your parent’s desires for you. You’re probably going to feel like a black sheep, and that’s okay.

    What matters is that you stick to your values, and don’t be swayed by what other people expect of you.

    Characteristics of an adventurous spirit

    Adventurous life

    Develop the opportunity mindset

    Your ability to see new opportunities in whatever form they’re presented is a game changer when it comes to living an adventurous life. After all, opportunities are gateways to new experiences. When you pay attention to all of these windows that appear in your life, then you’ll always have a path to take.

    If you shut down every opportunity that shows up in your life, you’re life is probably not going to change a great deal. This is why it’s important to develop a mindset where you perceive all the myriad opportunities in your life, at every moment. Therefore, there will always be an abundance of potential adventures to embark on.

    Be curious

    Curiosity is the root of an adventurous spirit. If you’re not curious to explore your reality, it’s very easy to be complacent with the life you have.

    To develop curiosity, you need to constantly question your life, and seek answers to those questions. Look at it in a way where the more answers you discover, the happier you can potentially become. Each piece of knowledge is like adding another piece to the puzzle of life.

    Ask yourself if you could be happier. What are some things you could try to become happier? Could you have more fun in life? Do you think there’s anything out there that you’re missing out on? What is it, and how can you experience it?

    By constantly asking questions, you’re going to create more clarity on what you need to do moving forward. By cultivating curiosity, you begin seeking out new experiences because you’re eager to know what’s waiting out there for you.

    Keep an open mind

    Any adventurous soul needs an open mind. It’s a prerequisite. If you don’t have an open mind, you’re going to bar out different experiences and opportunities because you’re not willing to try them.

    You don’t know what’s outside the box if you’ve lived your life in it. This is a problem, and if you want to have an adventurous life you need to start trying things before forming an opinion about them. You need to hear all perspectives and opinions before jumping to conclusions.

    Some things might not initially appeal to you, but when you consider all the possibilities, it makes the world a much more exciting place to live in.

    Don’t be afraid of things going wrong

    Let me tell you, the best experiences happen when things go wrong. I have had many situations where things went wrong including:

    • Being robbed three times, once was violent
    • Being thrown in jail in Mexico
    • Being attacked by a pack of stray dogs
    • Motorbike breaking down in the middle of nowhere (many times) when riding through Vietnam
    • Being swept out to sea
    • Being homeless in the US

    Okay, so maybe some of these things could potentially be a little dangerous. Don’t put yourself in danger, but acknowledge that sometimes you can’t avoid it. Sometimes, danger will find you, and that’s often when you’ll have the most exhilarating experiences, no matter how terrifying they were at the time.

    But don’t be avoidant because there is always potential for something to go wrong. As long as you see things going wrong as a deterrent, you’re going to avoid a lot of great experiences in life.

    Part of having an adventure is to acknowledge it, take precautions, and do it anyway. After all, it’s usually the experiences that went wrong that are the most memorable.

    Be spontaneous

    Spontaneity is a key for anyone who’s seeking a more adventurous life. In other words, go with the flow, because good adventures can’t be predicted, they just happen.

    There’s a saying that the best adventures in life are the ones that weren’t expected. I believe this is very true because the experiences that I remember the most are not when everything went to plan. They’re when things didn’t go to plan at all, and I had to improvise.

    Sometimes opportunities will come into your life on a whim, and if you don’t jump on it, it’s going to be gone forever. You won’t always be prepared, or expect situations to unfold as they do. But you need to always be ready to embrace the unexpected, knowing that life runs on its timeline, not yours.

    I’m not saying it’s bad to plan, but overplanning can take the adventure away. So prepare, but accept that things might not turn out as you planned. Learn to welcome the unexpected, knowing that it’s usually unexpected situations that lead to the best adventures in life.

    Expose yourself to new things

    Don’t welcome painful experiences, but recognize that they’re experiences nonetheless. I see an adventurous life as constantly having new experiences, of course, the more you expose yourself to new things, the more adventurous your life becomes.

    With that said, don’t be afraid to try new things. Even if you feel like you might not like those things, it’s good to make a habit of giving them a go, even if it’s just once. Worst case scenario, it was a waste of time. In the best-case scenario, you’ve added another exciting experience to your belt.

    Live for the experience. As long as you want to have more experiences, naturally, you’re going to expose yourself to more people, places, and situations, and have a more lively life.

    Take calculated risks

    One thing you need to acknowledge is that fear is always going to be there when you’re doing something new. It’s natural to have some fear. But when you decide not to give something a try due to that fear, you’re the ultimate loser here.

    Living an adventurous life becomes an act of managing your fear and knowing when it’s serving you, and when it’s deceiving you. Of course, don’t be stupid, but don’t be avoidant of difficult situations either, because they’re what make the entire adventure.

    With that said, you need to challenge yourself. The best adventures usually involve some sort of risk, and unless you’re willing to put something on the line, it’s all too easy to back out. 

    Seek change

    Change is a constant in life. You might be comfy in your life situation and be a little hesitant to change it up out of fear of sabotaging what you have. But this pursuit will only lead to a dead end because change is inevitable.

    By acknowledging that life change is inevitable, you might change your perspective a little. Therefore, allow yourself to change things up. Whether it comes to your line of work, the people you associate with, or the things you do, life will change sooner or later anyway, so get it before it gets you.

    Make every day a new advanture

    Two men who are comfortable in their own skin

    So we’ve gone through the more significant changes you need to make to have a more adventurous life. We’ve explored the infrastructure and the keys, now it’s time to look at the day-to-day changes that you can apply to your life.

    Here are some things you can do to make each day a new adventure.

    Start learning a new hobby

    What is your typical daily routine? I bet you work, relax, spend time with family, maybe work on an avocation or partake in a hobby a little, then go to bed. But what if there were things you could do daily that make you feel much better than you do right now?

    There’s a whole goldmine out there of things that you might enjoy, but simply don’t know because you haven’t tried them. Have you tried giving music a go? Writing? Making videos? Taking courses? Building something? Gardening? Reading? Walking in a park? Exercising? I bet there are many things you could do right this moment, but you’re just going to mindlessly scroll on Instagram instead.

    Think about different hobbies that you want to give a shot, and commit to them. Look for new ways to change up your daily routine that ignites a spark, and just put in the effort.

    Explore your surroundings

    In most cases, you don’t need to travel far to find some hidden gems. There are amazing spots in every city I’ve lived in, and the best ones aren’t on a map.

    So you need to go out and explore a little. Explore different spots in nature and just see what’s around. Check out different neighborhoods, stores, plazas, parks, or whatever appeals to you. I can guarantee you that there are plenty of places worth checking out that aren’t listed in an article or tourism video. And they’re the places you want to find.

    I love to get out and explore nature. What I do is look at Google Maps or Google Earth for green spots within distance, drive there, and see what’s around. Sometimes it’s a miss, but more often than not, I’m pleasantly surprised.

    Whether it’s a park I’ve never heard about, a reserve, some woods, a small lake, or an opening, it’s always worth checking out and just getting to know your home area a bit better. If you do this often, likely you’ll find some hidden gems that become your go-to spots. But you won’t know unless you explore your surroundings.

    Cook a new dish

    If you’re like most people, you probably have a few dishes that you cycle through. Sometimes you might try cooking something new, but it doesn’t happen often. Perhaps you barely cook at all or don’t know how to.

    I suggest that you regularly change it up and try cooking new meals. If you’re not much of a cook, then learn the basics and start practicing. You can easily type some meals into Google and get some quick results. Try throwing the ingredients you have into chat GTP and see what it comes up with.

    Eating is a pretty big part of our lives, yet so many of us make the act of it so tasteless. So try cooking new meals, and that is one sure way to change up your daily routine.

    Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while

    Try reaching out to a friend that you haven’t spoken to in a while, and see how they’re doing. It’s easy to get caught up in our lives, that we tend to lose touch with all the people who have been a part of our lives.

    The one upside of social media is that it’s easy to stay connected, and it’s not awkward to reignite a connection. Comment on one of their stories, or simply message them asking them how they’re doing. I do it all the time, and I always enjoy hitting up people that I met along my journey randomly, and seeing what’s happening. And they’re always pleasantly surprised that I do.

    When life is starting to feel a little too regular for me, I reach out to a few people. Usually, they respond pretty quickly, and we exchange some messages to catch up. This is also a great way for me to stay in contact with people, and see what they’re up to these days.

    Network within your local community

    People are gateways to new opportunities, and they’re a surefire way to spice up your life a little. By making more of an effort to meet people (and maintain connections) in your day-to-day life, you never know where some of these connections are going to take you.

    Many of us feel that we don’t have the energy to go out of our way to meet people. But you’re always coming into contact with people. Networking is about seeing each person as a potential friend, and just being genuinely curious about what’s happening in their life. Whether it’s a work associate, a shop clerk, or a stranger, engage the people you bump into, especially the ones you see regularly.

    As long as you engage people, doors will start flying open. Of course, most conversations won’t lead anywhere, but by engaging people more on a day-to-day basis, you’re opening up your doorways.

    Go to events

    If you live in a city, I’m sure there are plenty of interesting things you could be going to, regardless of what your interests are.

    Especially if you’re in (or near) a big city, there are always talks, networking events, meetups, language exchanges, and different things you could be doing. But I’m guessing you never really go to these things, and I know why.

    For the most part, it’s not about money. There are plenty of free options out there. It’s not about availability, because even if you’re not in a city, there are a million things you can partake in online. It’s because you’re nervous, and I understand that.

    It can be daunting going to unfamiliar events by yourself. You don’t know if you’ll just be an awkward mess, and usually, that thought is enough of a deterrent to banish the idea completely.

    But what if you tried? You put yourself out there. You risked enduring a boring event that was a waste of time (and potentially money). Think about what you could potentially gain. Who you could potentially meet? What experiences you could potentially have?

    So try out different events, whether they’re in person or online. Check out what’s available by searching Google and social media, and see what pops up. I highly recommend giving some things a go, and just seeing what you think of them.

  • Strong Work Ethics: The Cornerstone Of A Successful Life

    Strong Work Ethics: The Cornerstone Of A Successful Life

    Do you think you don’t need to put work into your relationship, your avocations, your practices? Do you think you’ll just heal and be the best version of yourself without putting in the hard yards?

    Everything rewarding in life takes work, in some form or another. By developing a strong work ethic, you’re going to do a lot more in all areas of your life, which leads to more skills, abilities, and competence.

    Here’s why.

    Why are strong work ethics important?

    Strong work ethic

    Most people associate work ethics with the amount of work you put into your job, but there’s much more to it. Although your job is one setting where work is necessary, everything in life requires work.

    Your avocations won’t create themselves. That book won’t write itself. Your social skills won’t develop themselves. In this sense, your work ethic involves how much effort you put into anything you do, from working on your relationship to climbing the corporate ladder.

    This is the angle you should approach work ethic:

    Labor is currency. Effort translates into skills, abilities, knowledge, and wisdom that can serve any endeavor in your life. Your life is a product of your work ethic because any milestone requires work in one form or another to get there.

    Someone with a strong work ethic applies himself and gives a duty of care to everything he does. He will leverage his knowledge and skills to become more efficient, more effective, and less dispensable. If you want to be good at anything in life, effort is required to become good.

    As with anything in life, the result you’re looking for fruits from the quality and quantity of work you put into it. You can have all the knowledge in the world, but it won’t amount to anything unless you incorporate that knowledge into your work.

    Your energy is an investment

    To develop a strong work ethic you need to see the value in working hard for what you want. Whatever you’re working towards needs to be a worthy trade-off in your eyes, otherwise, you won’t put in the effort.

    All the effort you expend comes back to you in some form. If you devote a lot of time to studies, the energy you expend transmutes into knowledge. If you exert energy into strengthening a relationship, the work put in results in a healthier and more fulfilling connection.

    I would still have a stagnant dating life if I never put the effort into learning how to date. I would still be depressed if I never put the work into healing myself. I would have never backpacked the world if I didn’t work on my insecurities.

    Trading time for material gain may not always weigh up. However, if you think about what you can learn through your work or the skills you can develop, there is always a tradeoff. Instead of expecting an instant trade-off, see what intrinsic qualities you can gain by adopting a growth mindset. 

    At the end of the day, it all comes back to you.

    You can keep blaming the world for your life, but nothing’s going to change if you don’t put in the work to change it. So perhaps it’s time to look at the root cause of why you’re not living the life you want to live, and working on it.

    Strong work ethic characteristics

    Let’s look at some common characteristics of people who have a strong work ethic. The following characteristics will aid your work ethic, and help you propel forward with everything you do.

    • Responsibility. Be accountable for everything that happens in your life.
    • Discipline. Stick with your goals and avocations.
    • Taking initiative. Don’t just follow what other people do. Actively look for new ways to learn, improve, and develop yourself.
    • Consistency. Keep chipping away at what you’re trying to achieve.
    • Willingness to grow. Always look for new opportunities to grow as a person and develop your skillsets. There’s essentially an infinite amount of information out there that you can access, so start using it.
    • Perseverance. Things will get difficult at times. Push yourself and put your all into it.
    • Professionalism. Hold your work to a standard of care, and do it properly.
    • Adaptability. Be creative and find ways around the obstacles you’re confronted with.
    • Capability. Make yourself as capable as you can.
    • Efficiency. Find ways to do things quicker, better, and with less effort.
    • Attention to detail. You need to pay attention to all the bits and pieces, and all the moving parts.

    Developing strong work ethics

    The work ethic of a bee

    If you want to achieve a particular goal, job, or lifestyle, you first need to gain the skills necessary to pursue it. Instead of complaining about how you’re trapped, utilize your resources to become as competent as you can be.

    If you have no passion, motivation, or excitement for something, naturally, you are not going to exert much energy into it. This translates into a poor work ethic and means you won’t become more competent in that arena, or grow as much through the process.

    You can’t expect to get the best job in a field without becoming the best potential candidate. We live in a proactive society that rewards hard work and initiative, yet so many people fall victim to the mentality of scraping by.

    With a poor work ethic, many people aim to achieve nothing for their personal development. These are usually the people you see stuck in the same jobs year after year because they aren’t putting in any work to advance their lives.

    Define your values

    If you want to do something well, you need to have some sort of passion for it.

    You’re probably not going to put all your energy into something that doesn’t bring you joy, or excitement, so this is where refining your values is important.

    Are you just doing it for the money or perhaps some form of temporary satisfaction, or are you seeking something deeper? Dig into why you’re doing what you’re doing, and what’s your motivation behind it.

    If you think about how you want to provide for your family, create a new lifestyle, your own fulfilling business that helps other people, or perhaps travel the world where some savings are a gateway to do that, this motivation is going to fuel you to work harder.

    Therefore, keep the deeper reasoning in your mind. If you don’t have any, you should probably ask yourself why you’re doing it in the first place.

    Set goals

    Goals help you stay on track. Without them, everything tends to fall apart. Therefore, it’s good to have goals to help you get to the finish line. Before you create goals, whether you’re with your job, relationship, avocations, or personal development aspirations in general, here are some things to consider.

    They need to be realistic. You need to make your goals realistic and achievable, like you’re climbing a staircase, not taking the magical elevator.

    They need to be time-sensitive. You should space out your goals with appropriate time to ensure you can complete them.

    You need to stick to them. If you don’t follow through with your goals, your staircase for development is going to break away.

    Build upon your skillsets

    Having a plethora of skills gives you a big advantage in life, and the route to developing new skills is to practice them. Luckily, there are always new skills you can acquire, regardless of what you’re doing. You just need to think about how you can leverage your current situation to learn them.

    If you work in sales, build on skills like conversation, building rapport, influencing, and being charismatic. If you work in customer service, build your skills in conversation, social etiquette, and business management.

    Get creative and seek out new and better ways of doing things. Understand that you can achieve anything you want by building up the relevant skill sets to succeed.

    Build your knowledge base

    Work ethic is just half the equation. You need knowledge to work with. The more you have, the better your work becomes.

    Therefore, you should actively seek out knowledge.

    I recommend taking courses, watching videos, and reading up on the topic. Go to workshops and participate in events that can help hone your skills and abilities.

    Even if you are doing something that you don’t enjoy, pick out aspects that you do like. Associate a strong work ethic with growth and capability, and there is no limit to how much you can learn from it.

    Assume responsibility

    Back in the day I generally performed poorly for several reasons. One of those reasons was because I didn’t help others out and just stayed within the confines of my job role.

    As my work ethic got better over time, I started expanding out from my roles taking on more responsibilities.

    When I was working as a bartender in the United States, even though I focused on that particular role, I took responsibility for the entire venue. I also worked as a barista, a server, and a host, took stock, helped the kitchen, and did things that were not my duties.

    As I could do the jobs of 3 or 4 people, it helped me thrive in that workplace, build connections, and become a much stronger employee.

    So don’t just stay in the confines of your role. Assume more responsibility, and you will grow within that role very quickly.

    Seek feedback

    People are generally happy to give you advice or feedback, so take advantage of it. People are great resources to learn and grow, so if you want to develop a strong work ethic, seek feedback when you can.

    Ask your coworkers or boss how you can improve, or what you can do to help out more. If you’re noticing a decline in your romantic relationship, ask your partner what you can do to improve it.

    Look for people who have been in the game for longer and seek advice for your avocations. Maybe you want to get better at guitar, become a better writer, or be a more efficient business owner. Ask people who have more experience than you and learn from them.

    Soak up all that valuable feedback from people who know more than you, and you’ll be on your best game before you know it.

    Stop procrastinating

    How often do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, and wondering why you’re doing it in the first place?

    Looking at other people who pretend to have their lives together doesn’t provide much satisfaction, but if you’re like most of us, you continuously find yourself reaching for your phone and entering the addictive cycle of hell.

    Just imagine if you put that time into something meaningful.

    If you want to cultivate a strong work ethic, start being conscious of the time you put into things that don’t serve you. Sure, a little bit here and there to break up the time is okay, but it’s a problem when it becomes a compulsion.

    Focus your energy on things that provide a deeper sense of fulfillment. Put it into things that you can go to bed happy thinking ‘I did something good for myself today’.

  • Struggling To Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin? Here’s What You Can Do!

    You know that feeling when you just click with yourself? When you’re not worried about how you look, what people think, or whether you’re measuring up to some vague ideal of being ‘a success?’ Yeah, it’s a pretty awesome feeling, but getting there isn’t always easy.

    We’ve all had moments where we feel out of place, or just not quite comfortable with who we are. Nothing wrong with that, we’re only human, but how do you get past the barriers and feel comfortable in your own skin? This is something many of us struggle with, especially when we have self-worth issues.

    In this article, I’m diving into some real-world ways to be more comfortable in your own skin – talking about feeling good in your body, owning your uniqueness, and not letting anyone’s standards define you.

    Be comfortable in your own skin meaning

    Be comfortable in your own skin

    To be comfortable in your own skin means that you’re being your authentic self, and you aren’t afraid of acting in a way that feels good to you! You’re at peace with who you are, including your quirks, differences, and dysfunctions. 

    In other words, becoming comfortable in your own skin is to develop transparency and to come out of your shell. Rather than cowering behind a false image because you’re afraid of being a bit different or quirky, you are comfortable being seen for who you are.

    This means you’re not worried about being judged and you don’t live to appease other people. You’re congruent with your own needs and desires, and do what feels good to you regardless of how others perceive it.

    Many people you cross paths with are wearing masks to fit in. There’s quite a strong social pressure to fit into social circles, society, or culture that we often chop off all the bits sticking out to fit into the frame.

    We want to appear successful, wealthy, and well-put together. We want an ego massage by flaunting an image that is admired by others. So we create a facade that we’re comfortable in, but the true self feels vulnerable when we expose it.

    So we don’t.

    Why being comfortable in your own skin is important

    When people aren’t comfortable in their own skin, they don’t act congruently with who they genuinely are or do what makes them feel good. This can lead to self-disintegration, a lack of satisfaction with oneself, self-doubt, approval-seeking behavior, and other limitations that we definitely want to avoid.

    Part of being comfortable in your own skin is to be comfortable as an individual. It’s important to see the inherent value of your uniqueness because this will help you come out of your shell.

    You can become more individualistic by pursuing your own beliefs, goals, and ambitions, regardless of what other people do, or how they view this behavior. Not to mention, it takes a world of pressure off your shoulders, not feeling like you need to be a particular way.

    We’ve all tried that at some stage, it becomes exhausting!

    When I was younger I thought my life was planned out for me. After undergoing a spiritual awakening, I completely changed the trajectory of my life because I could no longer see the joy in it. While I knew following a particular path of finding a respectable job and earning a good income was what most people do – and would give me social brownie points, I knew it wasn’t authentic to who I was.

    My life certainly hasn’t been conventional and there’s not a whole lot of people I can seek guidance from. So I explored my identity. It took me time to really fall into my true identity, a deeper soul identity with lots of trials, but the more I stepped into it, the more comfortable I became with being unusual.

    Many people take the easy route and wonder why they aren’t fulfilled. I believe that in many cases, it’s because they have leaned so far into a facade that they forgot their individuality.

    In truth, most people are afraid to be themselves because it can be uncomfortable, especially in the beginning. We’re pressured into abiding by a particular image, and we lose ourselves in the chase. So do you want to be the same as everyone else, safe and unseen, or do you prefer to pave your unique path through life, regardless of what others do?

    I know what I would do.

    Learn to express yourself genuinely

    Two men who are comfortable in their own skin

    Let’s focus on your self-expression. To be more comfortable in your own skin, you must learn to express yourself in a way that is congruent with your true thoughts and feelings.

    If your actions correspond with your deeper values, feelings, desires, and beliefs, then you’re in alignment with your true self. If you act the way you should but feel that it’s incongruent with who you are, then you’re wearing a mask.

    Expressing yourself freely is to allow yourself to express yourself in a way that feels good! You don’t necessarily need to be an expressive person if it’s not who you are, but you shouldn’t hold back.

    Self-expression comes in many flavors including:

    • The expression of your emotions (crying, laughing)
    • Expressing yourself verbally (communicating your needs, desires, frustrations)
    • Expressing yourself through body language (mannerisms, gestures)
    • Expressing yourself romantically
    • Acting on impulses instead of overanalyzing them
    • Being expressive with stylizing yourself
    • Expressing yourself through your sense of fashion
    • Being free with your actions instead of restaining them
    • Allowing yourself to be playful, mischievous, flirty, etc.
    • Following your interests, passions, and avocations in life

    If you feel like doing something, do it. If you feel like saying something, say it. Your instincts are powerful, and they serve an important function. Likewise, intuition is a very powerful tool and tends to steer you in the direction of authenticity.

    Express yourself in a healthier way

    It’s important to express your pain by crying, or your anger by venting. Do you feel better when you talk to someone about your problems and get it off your chest?

    I bet you do.

    Being in alignment with your true self allows you to process your life experience and heal your wounds. Pretending you’re okay only prevents you from looking at the issue at hand, which is why it’s counterproductive.

    Expressing yourself fully = a more colorful expression of life.

    Covering your feelings up = numbness and a lesser expression of life.

    That’s why expressing your pain is just as important as expressing everything positive you feel. Being authentic in your expression is no excuse for having no discipline or falling into habits or impulses that don’t serve you.

    You can also express positive feelings in a toxic way. If you start screaming at the top of your lungs in public because you received some good news, you’re being a nuisance. However, you can harness that positive energy in a way that benefits everyone.

    Celebrate! Dance, sing, and be grateful. Have great conversations and let yourself shine. If you’re in love, show affection, show care, show that love. Be there for your partner, but don’t smother them.

    This is why you need to think about how you’re choosing to express your energy because you can easily do it in a way that isn’t productive. As long as you express yourself fully, you will find it much easier to be comfortable in your own skin.

    How to be comfortable in your own skin

    Women playing together

    You may feel a little strange when you start coming out of your shell. It may even be daunting because you’re not used to being so seen. However, the more you make an effort to embody your true self, the more comfortable you will feel.

    So treat it as a process.

    If you practice stepping further into the person that you resonate with, you will start to find comfort in the new you. When you reach a point where you are comfortable in your own skin, life is generally a much more joyful experience.

    Here we’re going to look at some steps you can take to be more comfortable with yourself.

    Stop resisting yourself

    Nonresistance plays a role if you want to be comfortable in your own skin. That’s because when we don’t like what we see underneath the mask, we tend to resist our true feelings, desires, and personality. If you simply let yourself be who you really are, you wouldn’t have this issue.

    Do you dance when you’re feeling it, or do you tell yourself that you shouldn’t because you’re worried about what others think? Do you allow yourself to be a little silly at times and let your inner child play, or are you trying to be mature? Do you go the places and do the things you want, or overthink them?

    When you train yourself not to act in a certain way, it becomes difficult to step deeper into your authentic self. Stop resisting your life experience, and you will find that you are a great place to be.

    Get in touch with your feelings

    Transparency is an important step to become more comfortable in your own skin, and openness plays a big role in your ability to be transparent. The way I look at this is if you are an open book, you have nothing to hide, making it easier to be yourself. If you aren’t transparent, you’ll probably play the part of appearing a certain way.

    Most people aren’t very transparent for a couple of reasons.

    1. They have something to hide.
    2. They feel vulnerable by being seen.

    Assuming you don’t have anything to hide, you probably feel vulnerable by being your true self.

    Here’s the thing.

    Most people have no idea who you are because you refuse to let them in. By being transparent, more people will resonate with you because they’re interacting with a three-dimensional person, not a facade. Furthermore, you will attract like-minded people into your world by being open, and probably push away artificial people you don’t want.

    It’s a win-win.

    Be true to your beliefs

    Be integral to your beliefs. Your beliefs are powerful, and if you ignore them, you’re going to cause an incongruency. Therefore, stick to what you believe in despite what other people think. Don’t be afraid to be judged by others, knowing everyone is so focused on their image, that nobody is paying attention to yours.

    Perhaps you have an unpopular opinion on the world situation. Some people might disagree with you. They might not even like you for expressing those beliefs, but if aren’t integral to them, you’re not going to feel at peace with yourself.

    No, you’re going to feel less embodied because you’re stepping outward into inauthenticity. Your beliefs, attitudes, and actions should be consistent with your values. Live in integrity with what you believe to be true, and you will feel much better about who you are.

    Be sincere in your communication

    Many people have a habit of saying what other people want them to say, rather than what they’re thinking. Sometimes being honest may be uncomfortable or intimidating, but you need to make a habit of being true to your word. Likewise, you will feel much more empowered and self-ensured when you can express your word freely.

    If people oppose your views, hold space to debate but don’t just agree for the sake of wanting to get along with people. This is people-pleasing behavior, and it certainly won’t empower you. Being vocal about your opinions generates interesting conversation, but it also opens you up to other people, as they see where you lie on different subjects and issues.

    Work on your self-worth

    Not being able to be yourself generally stems from a self-worth issue. You may not like the person you truly are, so you try to hide that person from the public gaze. Realize, however, that this won’t make you feel fulfilled.

    Can you identify if there is something about yourself you don’t like? Some people will know instantly, others may need to do some digging. But let me hand the ball back to you…

    What don’t you like about yourself, and what emotions does thinking about it stir up? Perhaps you feel shame or guilt. Perhaps you’re embarrassed by a particular personality trait or characteristic.

    If you can identify something you’re deliberately withholding from the world, that could be why you’re uncomfortable in your skin – because you don’t love yourself. In this case, the more you can cultivate self-love, acceptance, and forgiveness, the easier it will be to be comfortable in your own skin.

  • Having Integrity: Why You Must Stand By Your Principals

    Having Integrity: Why You Must Stand By Your Principals

    Integrity should be the core of every person, however, this important quality has taken the back seat in our accelerated, money-driven society.

    Now the name of the game has changed: Get ahead by all means. Cheat, smear, and throw others under the bus. Bullshit your way to success, whatever that means anymore, and that’s all that matters.

    It’s no surprise that we live in a cut-throat society where values, morals, and principles have gone out the window. On the flip side, however, it’s illuminating the desperate need for integrity because now we’re living in a world void of it.

    Integrity must be a pillar of your personal growth because everything else you have worked so far for simply crumbles away without it.

    You need to be true to your principles, your values, and your morals. Here we’re going to look at how you can be more integral to live a more fulfilling, honorable life.

    What it means to be integral

    Woman with integrity

    Being integral means that you uphold your values and live with principles regardless of external pressures or forces.

    I view integrity as the substance behind a person.

    Without substance, people flake away because there is no depth to their character. They exist as hollow facades who are vulnerable to influence, indoctrination, and corruption. People without substance tend to be materialistic and fake, and fundamentally lack reason – the why behind their actions.

    An integral person will never abandon their values despite the consequences of staying true to them. They live by their code of morals because they believe it’s the right thing to do.

    With integrity, you’ll always take the sincere route over the quick path. You will play an honest game because there’s a lot more at stake than losing the game – losing the essence of who you are.

    Integral people have a strong moral compass and don’t allow themselves to be influenced or pressured into submission. Their core values are refined which allows them to navigate temptation.

    Integrity is a virtue that provides a sense of fulfillment. It reflects well on you, but it also has a positive influence on your professional life, social life, mental health, and other areas of your life experience.

    Integrity is to:

    • Identify your highest values and adhere to them
    • Live by a code of morals
    • Live an ethical life
    • Stand by your principals
    • Listen to your inner voice and intuition
    • Be honest
    • Stay loyal
    • Be fair

    Ultimately, living with integrity is to live a conscientious life in alignment with the higher self. It’s to hold yourself to high moral standards by being true to your core, living by principles, and being honest with others.

    Examples of integral people

      1. John was sitting at a café when he noticed someone dropped a $20 note. Instead of pocketing it, John chased down the person to return it because he believed it was the right thing to do.

      2. Sarah is an environmentally conscious person. Upon being offered a lucrative position with a company that is not environmentally conscious, she decided to decline the offer as it would compromise her core values.

      3. Steve got into an argument with his wife the other night. He reflected on the argument and realized he was in the wrong. He apologized to his wife and admitted his errors instead of holding strong to his comment to ‘win’ the argument.

    Integrity in personal relationships

    couple 1838940 1920 1024x683 1

    Being integral in your relationships is critical to building fulfilling connections with people that last.

    Integrity leads to trust. There needs to be trust in your relationships, otherwise, people will put up walls and prevent themselves from connecting with you on a deeper level. We all love friends we can trust because we know there are no hidden agendas.

    Without integrity, relationships often fall apart because nothing is holding them together. There is no substance in the relationship.

    Lies will eventually be caught out and they will always come back to bite you in the butt. In a way you sabotage yourself because you openly show others that you have something to hide.

    In relationships, integrity also leads to transparency with one another. You’re not pretending you’re someone you aren’t. People see you as a real, three-dimensional person, and therefore find it easier to connect with you.

    This is why it’s so important to be sincere with people because it sets the foundation for a healthy relationship.

    If you make a mistake and hurt your friend or partner, being integral means owning up to it and apologizing. It might be uncomfortable which is why people often get caught in a web of lies, but being honest clears the air and leads to forgiveness.

    We all make mistakes, but how you make amends is the true test of character.

    Integrity in your work

    workers 659885 1920 1024x636 1

    Being integral to your work means being responsible and doing everything with care. You are not cutting corners because you are aware of how your actions affect the business. You pull your weight, help out where you can, and respect the position you are in by acknowledging the results of your actions.

    Whether it’s your career, your business, or your avocations, do what you do on a strong foundation, even if it’s slow. Treat the business you work for as your own, and be integral to the core message of the business.

    Someone integral to their work will always do things honorably. They will never cheat a boss, coworker, client, or customer, because they genuinely want to help. They are always transparent about what they do and how it works which instills trust and respect.

    You’re not always going to have everything under control. You will make mistakes because you’re human, but you take accountability for them.

    Part of being integral to your work is being honest about how you feel and what you’re thinking. Solutions require open communication. It’s not always easy, you might feel vulnerable by addressing things you don’t particularly want to discuss, but it is necessary.

    You won’t just turn a blind eye because it’s easier. If there is tension between other employees, raise the issue with them and work on a conclusion.

    People who are integral to their work generally have a strong work ethic because they feel like they’re a core part of the business, and take initiative.

    I get it, we don’t all love our work, but we should be aiming to work towards something we love. When you love your work, you will naturally give it more care.

    Integrity in leadership

    meeting 2284501 1280

    Being an integral leader means you are a humble servant by taking your position seriously, never abusing your power, and genuinely looking after the entire collective like it’s a part of yourself. There is a duty of care and responsibility for an integral leader, and they never perceive themselves as being above others.

    Any true leader needs to be integral. Good leadership always involves being transparent with people even if it’s difficult. A good leader does not hide who they are, and they are usually respected because they are genuine. Being upfront with everyone and telling them the truth of the situation helps to build trust.

    You need to have strongly refined goals and to hold your values close. There should be a powerful overarching mission, and you are simply a servant to that mission.

    No ego, no power trip. Just a mission you are coordinating people to achieve.

    If people see you fold easily or give up because something isn’t just handed to you, they will not see you as a true leader.

    Imagine if Jesus said ‘This is too difficult, I’m going to take back everything I said and cave into pressure’. Somehow he wouldn’t be the figure we remember.

    There are many examples of politicians lying to garner support, and then avoiding the topic once elected. There are many cases of sleazy thought leaders making false promises, and not following through with their words.

    If you are an integral leader, you will always follow through with your word. You will honor your agreements and never backstab to get ahead.

    In saying that, don’t say things that aren’t true, or that you don’t intend to do. Don’t lie to sway people’s beliefs or convince them to join your cause.

    If you want to earn people’s respect, you need to act in a way that is deserving. Make the hard calls, do the right thing, and say what must be said even if it dwindles your support. If you make a mistake, admit it.

    Integrity to the spiritual path

    Man integral to the spiritual path

    Being integral to the spiritual path is to strip dogma from spirituality, and to be authentic with your practices, teachings, and growth process.

    Integrity is necessary along the spiritual journey because spirituality is just a label without integrity. This means honoring your process, your challenges, and your setbacks. Spiritual integrity is to be real with the journey (rather than faking it for image sake).

    Along your spiritual growth journey, you’re going to encounter challenges. Challenges appear in the form of spiritual egos, spiritual bypassing, dishonesty, and deceit. You will go through initiations, you will be hurt, and you will go in circles, again and again.

    After all, this is all part of spiritual growth. There is no shortcut to working it out because you can’t be taught wisdom, you must earn it.

    These days, everyone is a guru, or shaman, or healer. Many people will claim they have transcended their humanness, that know all the secrets of the universe. People love to spout their spiritual advancement but have yet to walk the spiritual path with integrity.

    Many people who are on a spiritual journey try to take shortcuts without being sincere about who they are and where they’re currently at.

    As a result, you have the new-age movement of spirituality – generations of individuals who don’t practice what they preach. It becomes a bunch of word fodder without congruency to the person’s attitudes, behaviors, and actions.

    To be integral to the spiritual journey, you need to honor the process of spiritual growth – it’s a lifelong journey for us all. There is no shortcut.

    Be transparent with your process. If you’re not sure about something, seek out good teachers who can guide you. Don’t bullshit your way through, be sincere.

    There are certainly real things we can tap into, but there are many people who are ingenuine, trying to make a quick buck off gullible souls. Therefore hold yourself to higher standards. I suggest veering towards the side of humility rather than spouting about things that may not be true.

    12 steps to become more integral pin

    How to become more integral

    By prioritizing your core values over any material assert, you will instinctively know what feels right and take a course of action congruent with this feeling.

    To become a more integral person whether it’s in your work, relationships, or spiritual growth journey, refine your values and know what truly matters to you.

    Separate fluff from truth, and always follow the path that speaks to your soul, not your mind. Anything that can be attained won’t give you the same fulfillment as sticking to your values and doing what’s right.

    Here are some things you can do to become a more integral person:

    Tell the truth

    Always speak with truth, even if it weakens your position or causes pain. Lying to benefit yourself is not an integral path, and you will eventually be caught out for doing so.

    Do the right thing

    Always do what feels right, even if it’s unpopular or there are incentives for doing the wrong thing. Make moral decisions because your conscience is more valuable than wealth, status, or gain.

    Don’t cheat

    Taking the shortcut instead of doing things properly shows a lack of integrity. There will always be consequences to shortcutting life.

    Speak up

    If you witness something immoral or unethical, raise your concern and take action, otherwise, you are complicit and have dirty hands yourself.

    Stay true under pressure

    Stay true to your beliefs and conscience, regardless of the social pressure you’re facing. Don’t just follow questionable trends because it’s the easy thing to do.

    Take accountability

    If you have made a mistake or done something you shouldn’t have, don’t try to cover it up or defer responsibility. Take it on the chin.

    Support your fellow humans

    We are all on the same side. Help and support people, regardless of their beliefs, views, or opinions – because you genuinely care about them.

    Show maturity

    Be open with people and communicate with them like adults. Share information with people that could potentially benefit them rather than keeping secrets or withholding information for private gain.

    Stick by your values

    Your values are your guiding compass in life. They determine the meaning you appoint to your life. Therefore, make sure you select healthy, benevolent values and stick with them.

    Be your authentic self

    Be yourself despite the flack you get. People who don’t have integrity will wear a mask and pretend they’re someone else for image’s sake. Let yourself be seen for who you are.

    You’re there for your friends

    You are always there for your friends and family when they need you despite how much of an inconvenience it may be. You can tell the integrity of a person by how much they value their relationships.

    Be humble

    You must show humility and put your ego aside if you want to live an integral life. This means you’re not doing what you do for show, or the sake of image.

  • Want To Be More Open Minded? Here’s How To Actually Do It

    Want To Be More Open Minded? Here’s How To Actually Do It

    Striving to become more open minded is one of the best things you can do that yield huge rewards in your life. Not only is an open mind a massively useful tool for your own growth and self-betterment, but it opens up so many new doors in life too!

    An open mind invites you to an unfamiliar world of learning and exposure to new things, while a closed mind is like choosing to stay in a familiar cell. It may feel safe and cozy in there, but it certainly doesn’t lead you anywhere good – Not toward new experiences, beliefs, and perspectives.

     So let’s look at how you can open your mind and embrace a life that is more wholesome on every level – Because there’s a lot out there waiting to be discovered.

    What is an open mind?

    Open minded woman thinking about life

    Having an open mind means being receptive to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences. Open mindedness is commonly seen as a positive characteristic that helps you approach new situations with curiosity and a desire to evolve your understanding, instead of shutting out unfamiliar perspectives, beliefs, or ideas.

    I had no desire to evolve my understanding of life during my youth, but at the same time, I was miserable. Desperate for a solution, there came my eureka moment – Realizing I could learn my way to a happier life.

    As my mind opened to the possibility that I could change my life inside out and actually become a person I’m proud of, my life experience became so much more wholesome. Needless to say, opening my mind set me on a better path. It cultivated a curiosity about our planet which has led me to travel the world for many years, explore different cultures, practice different traditions, and meet people from all walks of life.

    The opposite of being open minded is being ignorant. We’ve all met people who shut down any opposing information just because they simply need to be right. Therefore, ignorant people will argue and combat, but make absolutely no effort to understand different perspectives, beliefs, or experiences simply because they challenge their own beliefs.

    If you want to become more open minded, ignorance is not your friend. You are a curious individual who wants to learn, even if things sound a little strange to you. Of course, hearing people out doesn’t mean you need to jump on board, but at least make an effort to try to understand where they’re coming from, and this is a great step in the right direction.

    Why is it so important to be open minded?

    Open mindedness is a prerequisite for personal growth. Although you learn passively, if you expose yourself to new things, you’ll find that your learning curve becomes much steeper. Let’s break this down:

    • Being receptive to new information allows you to learn more
    • Knowing more makes you more intelligent, competent, and wise
    • All of these things are staples for a happy life

    If you imagine knowledge as a river, having a closed mind is like building a dam. The incoming knowledge becomes a trickle, and there’s so much out there that you’ll never realize. Opening your mind on the other hand is like opening the floodgates and allowing yourself to be inundated by new ideas and information.

    Again, not all of these ideas will be good. A lot of them will be really stupid, but it’s good to at least hear them out and then make a decision. If you never expose yourself to new information and realize that there are other ways of thinking, believing, and perceiving, you will forever be stuck in familiar, yet painful patterns.

    Open mindedness is a valuable characteristic that helps you understand more about yourself, the world you live in, and everything beyond.

    Some benefits of having an open mind include:

    • Your learning curve is accelerated
    • You generally become more intelligent
    • You become wiser
    • You acknowledge and discard harmful belief systems
    • Your perception of life and oneself begins to morph
    • You become less prone to external influence
    • You gain a broader perspective of each situation rather than thinking in black and white
    • You develop critical thinking skills and become more balanced with your opinions
    • You open doors to new experiences and opportunities

    In this day and age, information spreads like wildfire which has pros and cons. You have access to so much information which is great, but there’s also a lot of misleading information. We’re constantly inundated by contradictory ideas, information, theories, and beliefs. It can be difficult to separate fact from fiction – Making it easy to discard everything we hear, when the information may be perfectly valid.

    Having an open mind in this day and age allows you to acknowledge the information you’re presented with, give it some thought, and come to a conclusion (or keep an open mind about it!) There are a lot of voices out there telling you what to believe, so it’s important to be discerning, but to not block out information just because it challenges your opinions.

    Developing an open mind allows you to acknowledge, discuss, and debate all of the information you hear without instantly discarding it or jumping on board just because it resonates with preexisting beliefs. This makes you a much more balanced person who keeps your mind open to possibility, but by staying grounded and rational in the process.

    What prevents people from being open minded?

    Closed-mindedness artwork

    People are often stuck in their ways, so they don’t have any desire to change the way they think about things. They would prefer to die in ignorance without their worldview bubbles being shattered than to go through the disorienting process of realizing that they know nothing about this world.

    Close-minded people are usually set in their beliefs, not necessarily because they’ve weighed up all sides of the argument and come to a rational conclusion, but because they actively block out information that opposes their views.

    In my observations, things like upbringing, culture, and social influence plays a big role in determining whether someone has on open mind or closed mind. For example, if you were raised in a conservative household where nobody really talked about different perspectives, you’re likely to adopt this as the norm.

    Being part of an organized religion that shuns alternate perspectives can teach you to close your mind and accept only one perspective. Likewise, some cultures and societies are generally more open minded and encourage it in education, while some cultures are not.

    There are many factors at play here, but these are some of the big ones. After all, an open mind is something that you cultivate. It’s a way of seeing the world that can be instilled and nurtured or stomped out of you. Regardless of what your hand of cards was when growing up, now your lens to see the world through depends on you, and you must take responsibility for it.

    Here are some common phrases you might hear from someone with a closed mind:

    • You’re wrong
    • I’m done talking
    • That’s bad/good
    • You can’t talk/act/think/behave like that
    • That’s controversial
    • I’m not going to talk about that
    • That’s a conspiracy
    • This is the best culture in the world
    • I live in the best country on Earth
    • That politician is evil
    • God doesn’t exist
    • Nothing happens when you die
    • Spirituality is a load of BS
    • You’re going to hell for not believing in ______
    • The world is overpopulated
    • Humanity is bad
    • People suck
    • Politicians are only out to do good/bad

    Now you’ve got an idea of how a closed mind looks. People with a close mind tend to talk in absolutes and reject any alternative view. Likewise, they seldom expose themselves to new things, stretch their minds, or have any desire to step outside of their predefined box.

    But the box isn’t a good place to live.

    I’ve learned throughout my life an important, yet humbling lesson: The more I learn, the less I know. I used to think I knew how this world worked, and I was comfortable with my limited beliefs. Many years later, I realize I know nothing. Much more than I used to, no doubt, but nothing compared to how much there is to learn.

    Wisdom is to acknowledge that we don’t know.

    It’s fine to have beliefs and opinions, don’t get me wrong. But there is a line. When you acknowledge that you simply don’t know what you don’t know and take a more humble position – You’re on your way to opening your mind to the mysteries of life and beyond.

    With that said, here are some ways you can combat ignorance:

    1. Avoid confirmation bias: Confirmation bias is a barrier to opening your mind. Confirmation bias is to unconsciously seek out information and ideas that support your point of view while rejecting anything that doesn’t. You can beat confirmation bias by consciously acknowledging all information and perspectives towards any given subject.

    2. Acknowledge the fear of change: The fear of change can prevent you from opening your mind. Often, people want to stick with what is familiar to them, even if it causes them to suffer. Therefore, if you have difficulty opening your mind, identify whether you have a resistance to change, because this could be why.

    3. Fight against the ego: Close-minded people feel that they always need to be right, and usually assume that they already know everything. Realize when your ego is preventing you from admitting you don’t know something, and take steps to balance it. Practice listening to people you disagree with and having rational conversations with them.

    4. Let go of control: The need for control often leads to a combative attitude, because you don’t want to be wrong. Question whether you know the answer, or whether your desire for control is speaking. Actively let go of control of being right or looking good, and you’ll find it easier to acknowledge and accept other ideas.

    5. Stop conforming: The need to be accepted by other people is a big reason why you’re staying in their camp. Let’s face it, conformity is a killer because it prevents you from thinking as an individual. Your desire to be liked puts you in a box, so it’s important to realize when you feel the need to be accepted by others and combat this urge to be accepted.

    How to open your mind

    Woman opening her mind with books

    Now let’s look at some ways that you can open your mind. Treat it as a practice, as the more you do it the better you become at it, and the more your worldview evolves. Opening your mind can be confronting because you’re forced to look at your ignorance.

    Be curious to know more

    Naturally, the more curious you are, the more open minded you will become. When you genuinely want to understand new information because these understandings can better your life, you tend to learn a lot more, quicker. Therefore, develop a curiosity about the world around you and try to understand everyone’s perspective, even if you don’t resonate with it.

    Actively seek out knowledge

    Always strive to learn as much as you can about everything you can. There’s always an opportunity to learn more about any given subject, as long as you put in the time and effort. Talk to people, research, experiment, read books, and watch informative videos. Make learning a lifestyle and it’s going to open your mind as you’re exposing yourself to more information.

    Get used to asking questions

    Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Most people are open books and they’re happy to talk about what they know. There is so much to learn from every person, and sometimes we just need to ask, otherwise we’ll never know. Learning from people is just a matter of asking the right questions, so work on developing this habit of asking people about themselves, their opinions, and their beliefs on different topics.

    Practice critical thinking, don’t just jump on board

    Make sure that you think critically when building an opinion about something. Instead of just taking a side with any given subject, seek out an understanding of all perspectives See what makes more sense when comparing views instead of jumping on the bandwagon. Think about whether your opinions are based on an emotional response, or whether they’re rational.

    Critically assessing takes some looking inwards, and requires you to introspect and dig into your belief systems. Always assume that there’s more to know, and always leave the door open to more information that you might learn about the topic in the future.

    Allow people to give you suggestions

    People who are close minded tend to shoot down any advice or suggestions unless they’re in alignment with their own beliefs because it comes from a place of ‘I know what’s best’. Needless to say, this doesn’t do anyone any favors.

    To have an open mind, you should have a mentality where advice and suggestions are welcome. Even if you decide that the suggestions don’t serve you, they should be considered. Allow yourself to dwell on different suggestions and ideas, think about how they could be viable, and if there’s potential in them.

    Allowing people to advise you doesn’t mean mindlessly jumping on any suggestion someone gives you, but at least give it some consideration. That’s what an open mind is really about, considering possibilities.

    Avoid combatting differing opinions

    To become more open minded, you need to force the habit of hearing out other people’s opinions. A key ingredient of close mindedness is to combat different opinions, ideas, or perspectives. Therefore, you need to recognize when you’re unconsciously shooting down other perspectives or arguing against them, and listen.

    Of course, the other perspective doesn’t need to be right. You don’t need to believe it, but you should make a habit of hearing different opinions. This can be difficult to do at first, especially if you’re used to blocking out opposing ideas, but the more you catch yourself, listen, and try to understand, the more open minded you will become.

    Expose yourself to new things

    The way I see it is there’s a direct correlation between the amount that you expose yourself to new things and the more open minded you become. It’s quite simple really. Someone who is close minded will stay within their realm of comfort. They will likely not be open to new experiences, or to expose themselves to different things in the world.

    Therefore, by exposing yourself to life, you begin to gain a broader perspective. When I say expose yourself, I mean meet new people, converse about new topics or perspectives, try new activities, check out different types of media, work different jobs, see new cultures and places, and get out of your comfort zone. Regularly try things that are new experiences for you, and you’ll notice that your horizons will broaden very quickly.

    Be aware of confirmation bias

    Confirmation bias is when we agree with anything just because it supports our own beliefs, and disagree with anything that doesn’t. We all do it to some degree, but it’s something we need to be careful of if we want to become open minded – because an open minded person will want to understand all perspectives and make a balanced opinion.

    Be open to opportunities

    Be open to opportunities and take a more proactive stance on seeking them out. Think about where this new job could take you, where could that friendship lead you. As long as you give opportunities a chance when they present themselves, you’ll be surprised where some of these opportunities may lead, and what you may learn from them.

    Be humble

    Humility is an important quality for anyone seeking to open their mind. Part of humility is realizing that you are always a student in life, despite how much you know. If you take the perspective that you’re always a student and that there’s always something to learn from others, you’re never going to stop seeking out information and listening to alternate perspectives.

    What it means to open your mind

    Expose yourself to new cultures to open your mind

    In a nutshell, having an open mind leads to a higher quality of life. An open mind facilitates an easier passage of information, allowing you to learn more about a broader range of things, and develop your understanding, point of view, and perspectives.

    I would never believe some of the things I believe now if I never opened my mind to the possibility, actively sought knowledge, and explored all facets of life rather than staying in the comfortable realm of understanding I previously spent my life in. I’m so glad I made that leap, and if you suspect that you are close minded, then striving to open your mind is the best thing you can do for your growth and development.

    We all have this ability as an open mind is a seed that must be cultivated. The more you work on it by seeking different perspectives, the more your mind will expand.