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Along my journey of spiritual growth, it would be a lie to say I didn’t grapple with my ego at times. Instead of being integral to my higher self, I found myself getting a high from feeling superior.
The issue is that the further I walked along my spiritual journey, the more ammunition my ego had to come from a position of superiority. Why? Because a part of me wanted to prove that I was doing the whole spirituality thing right.
It’s a paradox.
Traveling the world for many years helped me develop new perspectives, belief systems, and understandings, but it also gave me something to boast about. Working with shamanic traditions has taught me a lot about healing, yet it made me feel validated.
The truth is that I felt insecure and needed to hold onto the illusion of importance. I realized that my search for answers wasn’t actually about finding them. It was fueled by the desire to separate myself from the ordinary folk.
Inevitably, the universe gave me some big lessons in humility, and to this day I still hold those values closely because the ego is a tricky one. A spiritual ego will kick in sometimes when you’re on a spiritual path, but this greater awareness can help you recognize when it does.
Some of the biggest challenges we face along our spiritual journeys aren’t our situations. It’s acknowledging the shadow that is born from neglect. True spiritual growth is crafted with humility. Only by being humble can you walk your path with integrity. Only by recognizing the ego’s desire to mislead you, can you truly be at service.
How the spiritual ego is born
A spiritual ego is formed when you create narratives about who you are, rather than being authentic to your values. Having a spiritual ego is getting caught in spiritual edifices rather than being present with the experience of life.
As a way to understand who we are, we tend to create stories about what we should do, and what our lives should look like. We get lost in mental constructs, and suddenly spirituality becomes a ladder to climb, not an adventure to experience.
The truth is that spirituality is a tough nut to crack.
We will go in circles and lose ourselves at times. We will experience a lot of things and undergo many lessons. The genuine road to spiritual evolution is a long winding road, and sometimes, we don’t want to put in the hard yards – so we take the shortcut, conning ourselves into believing we’re spiritually superior to the common man.
Many spiritual communities around the world have become rife with love and lighters: People who feel like they’ve transcended their humanism and are as close to enlightenment as you get. I’m not saying that some people aren’t spiritually advanced, however, the people claiming that they are… usually aren’t.
How do you know? Because people boasting about their abilities lack humility which is a core ingredient for spiritual growth.ย
In my experience, the individuals who believe they’re more spiritually evolved than you are often wounded, condescending attention seekers, and just about as far away from humble as you can get. They deny their humanity rather than embrace the fact that they’re messy, flawed creatures who are on this planet to learn.
Of course, this is a sweeping generalization. I don’t want to push everybody into this box because I’m sure many people out there are genuinely evolved. They may not get triggered, or grapple with their ego anymore, and see life from a higher frame. But I’m yet to meet someone who has transcended their ego.
Sometimes, people want to take a shortcut and pretend that they have transcended their ego. This is what births a spiritual ego – the mask that hides the ego, yet it’s just another facet of the ego.
The main issue is that new-age spirituality is a competition. It’s all about being the most enlightened, having the best practices, learning from the best teachers, or knowing the most exclusive secrets of the universe.
Finding yourself is an act of deconstructing the layers that you identify with, to get more in touch with your soul nature. You’ll go around, and around, and around. And that’s just part of the game.
We tend to develop a conceptual idea of what spirituality looks like, but that’s the problem. There is no single path. There is no right way to do it. But when we get stuck in associating certain ideas or practices with being spiritual, that’s when we tend to get lost.
What is the ego in spirituality?
Everyone has an ego, but a spiritual ego pertains solely to spirituality. This is when people develop a sense of moral superiority compared to other people. In other words, you’re putting yourself on a pedestal. You have a distorted sense of self-importance and think you’ve worked it all out.
The spiritual ego deceives you. People tend to get sidetracked by their egos while on a spiritual growth journey as it pulls them away from their higher selves, and towards self-service.
People who are in spiritual leadership roles are the most susceptible to forming a spiritual ego. The more power, influence, or recognition you get can go straight to the head. This is something you must be aware of if you are in a spiritual leadership role.
As I’m sure you agree, the spiritual journey is about learning how to become more heart-centered which is the bridge to your soul. If you’re trying to find enlightenment or experience the deepest echelons of spirituality, then you’re being misguided.
Walking a spiritual path is essentially sheering off the excess layers of self to strip down to the core of who you are: Your soul. We do this because we know that’s where all the good stuff is, and the keys to live a beautiful life. But the ego acts as the gatekeeper.
In truth, taming your spiritual ego is not about transcending the ego. It’s about acknowledging your ego, finding balance with it, and learning to genuinely operate from the heart rather than the facade.
You need to ask yourself if you’re truly in alignment with your higher self. If you live in service to god and resist the temptation to fall into the lower self, this is how you dissolve your spiritual ego.
What’s important is to be aware of it, catch it every time it starts sneaking up on you, and realign yourself with humility. If you don’t realign yourself with humility, the universe will do it for you. So take it upon yourself to be as (genuinely) humble as you can when walking a spiritual path.
Identifying the spiritual ego
Let’s start by compartmentalizing characteristics that come from the ego and characteristics that are authentic to the soul.
- The soul represents the path of the higher self. This is the true you that is connected with spirit.
- The ego represents the path of the lower self. This is the image that you portray.
First off, I don’t want to give you the idea that the ego is bad because it’s an essential component of who we are. Your ego is your grounding in reality. It’s your sense of individuality. Without an ego, you wouldn’t be alive because there would be no separation between you and the collective consciousness.
No separation = no ability to perceive as an individual.
No ability to perceive as an individual = no ability to survive.
So stop trying to kill your ego. The aim of the game is not to kill your ego. It’s to find a healthy balance with it where you can genuinely embody your higher self and recognize when you’re being led by your ego, or by your soul.
On your spiritual journey, you should be doing everything in your power to embody the qualities of the soul and move away from the qualities of the ego.
Let’s draw the line.
Path of the soul
- Being of service to a higher power
- Acting from love and compassion
- Authenticity
- Transparency
- Equality with all others
- Unity
- Selflessness
- Integrity to your values
- Presence with your life experience
- Acceptance of who you are
- Don’t care how you’re viewed
- Humility
Path of the ego
- Being of service to self
- Acting from fear and avoidance
- Entitlement
- Righteousness
- Arrogance
- Stubbornness
- A story about who you should be
- An image that you’re trying to portray
- Comparing yourself to others
- Superiority to others on the spiritual path
- The need to be seen in a positive light
With that said, here are some signs you are operating from a spiritual ego rather than soul:
- You don’t acknowledge your ego: If you assume you don’t have an ego, or perhaps you have transcended it, then you’re operating from a spiritual ego.
- You believe you’re above others: Your sense of self-worth is through the roof. So much so, that everyone else is below you.
- You’re trying to be more advanced than others: If your mission is to become the most advanced, spiritual person out there, you’re likely operating from a spiritual ego.
- You lie or exaggerate to elevate your position: You may find yourself exaggerating experiences or making them up completely to feel like you’re spiritually advanced.
- You compare yourself to others: If you operate from a spiritual ego, you need to be the best. Because of this desire, you may find yourself comparing your progress to others on a spiritual journey.
- You become overly identified with spirituality: A sign that you have a spiritual ego is that your life revolves around spirituality, rather than living. If you don’t have an identity outside of spirituality, then you have a spiritual ego.
- You lack curiosity: People with spiritual egos often assume they already know everything they need, therefore they don’t explore themselves in depth. This is another sign that you have a spiritual ego.
- You are always positive: Part of spirituality is to explore our shadows. People with a spiritual ego may get caught in the trap that they must always be positive because they must believe they have transcended their darkness. This is called spiritual bypassing.
- You lack transparency: People with a spiritual ego tend to cover up their dysfunctions, which leads to a lack of transparency with oneself and others.
- You believe you have transcended your humanity: People with a severe case of spiritual ego often believe the rules of reality no longer apply to them. They believe they don’t need to age, eat, or drink which makes the individual ungrounded.
- Materialism: Overly identifying with the things in your life is a sign that you have a spiritual ego. You may become materialistic by believing you deserve to have all these things.
- You are secretly judgemental:ย You tend to value someone depending on how far along their spiritual journey they are
14 things you can do to get rid of your spiritual ego
Throughout your spiritual growth journey, you’re going to wrestle with your ego at times. Even people who are very far along this journey have egos. Learning how to manage it is part of the process of finding yourself, and sometimes we go a little overboard.
I find a few core ingredients for keeping your spiritual ego in check:
- Awareness: Make sure you catch it when you start acting from a place of ego
- Desire: You need to want to better yourself and become more heart-centered
- Integrity: You must continuously act and behave in a way that aligns with your heart-centered values
It’s important to recognize that you have a spiritual ego to some degree and work with it. Take corrective actions when it comes out, and make sure that you realign with your heart.
1. Work through the layers of a spiritual ego
Often when you’re working on your spiritual ego, you might overcome an aspect of it, and step right into another. This makes spiritual egos especially deceiving.
For example, you might catch yourself being a little condescending, and think ‘Okay, I need to be more humble’. So you try to be more humble or compassionate, then get a high from being humble or compassionate. You might think you have defeated your spiritual ego, and feel special because you have successfully overcome your ego (so you think).
Your ego has layers. This will be a battle you’ll face with every step of your spiritual journey because there is always something that the ego will try to use as ammunition (a feeling, an achievement, a milestone).
So constantly ask yourself if you could do better than you’re doing, and the answer should always be yes. Continuously take steps to be as humble as you can, and to genuinely be the best person you can.
2. Catch the thoughts when they arise
Start by recognizing when your ego is speaking. You need to make a habit of catching it every time it shows up, and continuously put it in its place.
A spiritual ego kicks in through comparison. It happens because you’re comparing yourself to others, and acting in a conditioned way. True authenticity with your soul comes from deconditioning yourself and observing life without attaching labels to it.
Therefore, identify when you’re using labels, or thinking of yourself in a way that makes you stand out from others.
- I know what I’m talking about because I’m experienced
- I’m a healer
- I’m psychic
- I have a special gift
- I’ve been doing this longer than most people
- I’m wiser than most people
- I am more loving, compassionate, and grateful than others
3. Constantly challenge your ego
Constantly question yourself. The ego doesn’t like to be challenged, so when you’re constantly questioning your motives and desires, the ego is not going to have anywhere to hide.
Whether you’re making decisions, seeking out knowledge, or practicing something, ask yourself: Are you authentic? Are you aligned with the higher self? Is this just another trick to make you feel good?
That internal feedback is necessary to make sure you’re always acting with humility and integrity.
4. Do the shadow work
Shadow work is such a crucial part of personal growth because to become the best versions of ourselves, we need to dredge out all the shit we’re holding onto.
A spiritual ego takes over because you feel insecure. You overcompensate for these feelings by assuming the position that you’re more advanced than others. But it comes from a wound.
True masters always come from a place of humility because they have nothing to prove. They’re not seeking recognition because they are healed.
Every time you catch your spiritual ego in place, use it as a mirror to explore yourself and figure out why you are behaving in that way. Only by continuously healing and using it as an opportunity, can you heal the root cause of it.
5. Deconstruct your spiritual programming
Chances are you’ve been led to believe that spirituality is a certain thing that can be achieved by walking a certain path, that only certain people can do.
So you develop the idea that there is a particular path, or a particular set of rules, or ways that you connect more deeply with yourself.
You might believe that in order to be spiritual you shouldn’t eat meat, or that someone on a spiritual path must avoid alcohol. There might be some validity to their beliefs, but part of spirituality is finding what resonates with you personally, not going off what you should do.
Despite knowing many people who are very rigid about what they shouldn’t do, I still like to drink. I eat meat. But that doesn’t mean I’m any less spiritual than other people, I’m just not putting ideas in my head about what I should do.
6. Get out of your head
Chances are that you have a picture of what spirituality looks like, and you are trying to be congruent with that image.
But that fact that you’re trying to be congruent with an image makes you inauthentic. This is why you need to let go of your ideas and expectations of what a spiritual person looks like.
Spirituality looks different for everyone. Just the act of trying to better yourself is spirituality in action, so let go of these preconceptions of needing to be spiritual or succeeding with spirituality. It’s not something you can fail.
7. Avoid spiritual bypassing
Spiritual bypassing is when you use a smokescreen to cover up aspects of yourself that you want to avoid. In other words, it’s pretending to be someone you’re not, in an attempt to avoid doing the hard work.
But there will always be hard work involved. It takes time to learn, grow, and develop wisdom. If you’re jumping straight to ‘I will only experience love and light’ without being real with yourself, you’re going to create more problems.
So avoid spiritual bypassing by being real with yourself. The ego struggles to grip authenticity, but it has no problem doing so with a false image.
8. Practice modesty
As someone who is evolving themselves spiritually, you should always be on your knees in service. This is what it’s all about, serving something bigger than you.
Remember that you are always at service. But be careful not to use being at service as ammunition for your spiritual ego either. Sometimes I feel more important by believing I’m at service, which is a trap you want to watch out for.
Modesty can be a real challenge because you have a lot to tell. You have some wisdom, and you feel that others would benefit from hearing it. You might want to be acknowledged, so talking about yourself is your way of qualifying yourself.
But you have nothing to prove. If you are truly integral to your path, what does it matter what others think? Therefore, work out this muscle of modesty, because being modest no matter where you are in your journey is a good sign.
9. Be integral to your teachings
Something that’s really important is to make sure that you actually practice what you preach. You can tell the whole world and their dogs that love and kindness are the keys to heaven, but are you completely integral to living with love and kindness?
You might tell others that they attract the situations in their lives, but play the victim when things go wrong for you. If you tell people that they should meditate every day, you better be doing it yourself.
Part of dissolving your spiritual ego is to realize that you are no exception. The same rules apply to you, so don’t preach what you can’t speak about from a place of experience.
10. Be genuine about who you really are
Being transparent is such a critical part of the spiritual growth journey. Once you put up a wall or pretend you’re a certain way, you’re not being true to who you are, and working with the experience you’re having.
Some things people tend to pretend (or greatly exaggerate) are:
- You’re healed to sell a service or so people take you seriously when helping them heal
- You have experienced a lot more trauma than you have
- You’ve mastered certain ways of being or philosophies
- You’re psychic or have some sort of gift
It’s okay to not have it all worked out. It’s okay to have challenges. You wouldn’t have reincarnated on this planet if you weren’t going to have some. But don’t hide those challenges and be integral to what you’re experiencing.
At the end of the day, we are all human. We all have struggles. Instead of assuming the role of the person who has it all figured out, humanize yourself.
11. Use your spiritual ego as a mirror
As a spiritual ego indicates that there is some sort of insecurity, use it to identify what you feel you’re lacking in your life.
What sort of things trigger you? Do you feel annoyed when people smokescreen you with love and light, but won’t hear a word of it? How do you feel when you meet people in spiritual communities who boast about how enlightened they are? Or treat you as if you are a novice?
Well, if you want to tame your spiritual ego, you’ll use these emotions to look into yourself. Why are these behaviors bringing this stuff up, and how can it help you become a better person?
12. Acknowledge when you were wrong
You would be surprised by how many people I’ve met who say things like ‘I’m about to manifest my twin flame, I can feel it’. Or ‘my spirit guides have told me that there is going to be a major global event in the coming months’.
What happens? Crickets.
I’m not doubting that some people do have this foresight. But most people who believe they do, don’t. Usually, the wrong person wouldn’t acknowledge that they were wrong. If it’s brought up, they will say something to justify themselves.
So if you find that you were convinced of something and it never happened, acknowledge it. If people question it, tell them that you were wrong. Maybe next time you’re convinced that something will happen, you’ll keep it under the rug.
13. Encourage people to challenge you
You should want to be challenged. Because people challenging your beliefs and perspectives is how you grow as a person. If you don’t like it when people challenge you, then that’s saying something.
This is why I suggest you keep an open mind, and encourage debate. After all, you don’t know all the answers. If you can’t explain something that someone asks about, then it gives you something to think about.
If you get frustrated when people doubt you, then you have something to look at. Have an open discourse with people and keep an open mind, no matter how right you think you are.
14. Live from the heart, not your mind
To truly be at service to a higher power, you need to live from your heart. Sometimes the mind will pull you off your track, or you’ll be misguided by ideas and beliefs, but that’s not what it’s about.
As long as you live from the heart and continue to realign yourself with your heart every time you veer away, your spiritual ego will not be able to have a hold over you.