Do You Have a Spiritual Ego? Here’s How to Tame it

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Along my journey of spiritual growth, it would be an understatement to say I didn’t grapple with my ego at times. Instead of being integral to my higher self, I found myself getting a high from myself.

The issue here is that the further I walked along my spiritual journey, the more ammunition my ego gained to come from a position of superiority. At least to me, my experiences were a pretty big deal.

Traveling the world for many years gave me something to boast about. Working with shamanic traditions made me feel validated. Somehow, I would work it into every conversation I could.

Why? Because a part of me wanted to prove that I was doing the whole spirituality thing right. But the truth is that I actually felt insecure, and needed to hold onto the illusion that my life meant something.

I realized that my search for answers wasn’t actually about finding them. It was fueled by the desire to separate myself from the ordinary folk.

Inevitably, the universe gave me some pretty big lessons in humility, and to this day I’ve sworn to be integral to them.

Not to say that my spiritual ego doesn’t kick in sometimes, because it does. But this greater awareness helps me keep it in check when it does, and focus on what really matters: Being a better person.

The truth is that spirituality is a tough nut to crack.

We will go in circles and lose ourselves.

We will experience a lot of things, and be given many lessons.

But what I’ve learned is that some of the biggest challenges we face aren’t our situations. It’s the part of us that needs to be acknowledged.

Your true calling is illuminated through humility. Only by being humble can you walk your path with integrity. Only by recognizing the ego’s desire to mislead you, can you truly be at service to god.

Understanding the trap of the spiritual ego

Many spiritual communities around the world have become rife with love and lighters: People who feel like they’ve worked it all out, but it’s mostly an image.

This is because new-age spirituality is a competition. It’s all about being the most enlightened, having the best practices, or knowing the most exclusive secrets of the universe.

But what we come to understand is that the spiritual path is like an onion, or maybe a maze an onion. Finding yourself is an act of deconstructing the layers that you identify with, to get more in touch with your soul nature.

You’ll go around, and around, and around. And that’s just part of the game.

We tend to develop a conceptual idea of what spirituality looks like, but that’s the problem. There is no single path. There is no right way to do it. But when we get stuck in associating certain ideas or practices with being spiritual, that’s when we tend to get lost.

What is a spiritual ego?

Everyone has an ego, but a spiritual ego pertains solely to spirituality. This is when people develop a sense of moral superiority or spiritual advancement compared to other people.

In other words, you’re putting yourself on a pedestal. You have a distorted sense of self-importance and think you’ve got it all worked out.

The problem with the spiritual ego is that it deceives you. People tend to get sidetracked by their egos while on a spiritual growth journey, as it pulls them away from their higher selves, and towards self-service.

As I’m sure you agree, the spiritual journey is about learning how to become better and more heart-centered people. If you’re trying to find enlightenment or experience the deepest echelons of spirituality, then you’re being misguided.

Walking a spiritual path is essentially sheering off the excess layers of self to strip down to the core of who you are: Your soul. We do this because we know that that’s where all the good stuff is, and the keys to live a beautiful life.

But the ego acts as the gatekeeper, which is why you need to dance around it.

You need to ask yourself if you’re truly in alignment with your higher self. If you live in service to god and resist the temptation to fall into the lower self, this is how you dissolve your spiritual ego.

• Stop Trying to Kill Your Ego: Build a Healthy Relationship With It Instead

Spiritual ego vs spiritual narcissism

Having a spiritual ego is arguably more innocent than being a spiritual narcissist. Most people on the spiritual path develop a spiritual ego (arguably everyone at some point) and need to learn how to balance it.

Spiritual narcissism on the other hand is more malicious than just having a spiritual ego. Spiritual narcissism usually has an intent to deceive, control, and manipulate, while being wrapped in a bowtie package to help you.

With that said, an unchecked spiritual ego can evolve into spiritual narcissism, so make sure that you keep it in check.

How is a spiritual ego formed?

A spiritual ego is formed when you’re creating narratives about who you are, rather than being authentic to your values. Having a spiritual ego is getting caught in spiritual edifices rather than being present with the experience of life.

As a way to understand who we are, we tend to create stories about what we should do, and what our lives should look like. We get lost in mental constructs, and suddenly spirituality becomes a ladder to climb, not an adventure to experience.

People who are in spiritual leadership roles are the most susceptible to forming a spiritual ego. The more power, influence, or recognition you get goes straight to the head, and can quite easily lead to spiritual narcissism or corruption if you’re not careful.

Let me make it clear, it’s okay to have a spiritual ego. We all have one to some degree. What’s important is to be aware of it, catch it every time it starts sneaking up on you, and realign yourself with humility.

And if you don’t realign yourself with humility, the universe will do it for you. So take it upon yourself to be as (genuinely) humble as you can when walking a spiritual path.

Identifying the spiritual ego

Let’s start by compartmentalizing characteristics that come from the ego and characteristics that are authentic to the soul.

• The soul represents the path of the higher self. This is the true you that is connected with spirit.
• The ego represents the path of the lower self. This is the image that you portray.

On your spiritual journey, you should be doing everything in your power to embody the qualities of the soul and move away from the qualities of the ego.

Signs that you’re grappling with a spiritual ego

• You tend to compare yourself to others which leads to feelings of lack, envy, or jealousy
• You feel the need to talk about your achievements
• You regularly exaggerate experiences
• You tend to get competitive when other people speak about their spiritual experiences and try to 1 up them
• You have an image of yourself being more spiritually advanced than most people
• You take the moral high ground and judge others when they don’t do the same
• You use positivity and light as a facade to cover over your true feelings or intentions
• You identify as a spiritual person and unconsciously revolve around this archetype
• You tend to value someone depending on how far along their spiritual journey they are

What to do about a spiritual ego

Throughout your spiritual growth journey, you’re going to wrestle with your ego at times. Even people who are very far along this journey have egos. Learning how to manage it is part of the process of finding yourself, and sometimes we go a little overboard.

I find a few core ingredients for keeping your spiritual ego in check are:

• Awareness: Make sure you catch it when you start acting from a place of ego
• Desire: You need to want to better yourself and become more heart-centered
• Integrity: You must continuously act and behave in a way that aligns with your heart-centered values

It’s important to recognize that you have a spiritual ego to some degree, and work with it. Take corrective actions when it comes out, and make sure that you realign with your heart.

Work through the layers of a spiritual ego

Often when you’re working on your spiritual ego, you might overcome an aspect of it, and step right into another. This makes spiritual egos especially deceiving.

For example, you might catch yourself being a little condescending, and think ‘Okay, I need to be more humble’. So you try to be more humble or compassionate, then get a high from being humble or compassionate. You might think you have defeated your spiritual ego, and feel special because you have successfully overcome your ego (so you think).

Your ego has layers. This will be a battle you’ll face with every step of your spiritual journey because there is always something that the ego will try to use as ammunition (a feeling, an achievement, a milestone).

So constantly ask yourself if you could do better than you’re doing, and the answer should always be yes. Continuously take steps to be as humble as you can, and to genuinely be the best person you can.

Catch these thoughts when they arise

Start by recognizing when your ego is speaking. You need to make a habit of catching it every time it shows up, and continuously put it in its place.

Really, a spiritual ego kicks in through comparison. It happens because you’re comparing yourself to others, and acting in a conditioned way. True authenticity with your soul comes from deconditioning yourself and observing life without attaching labels to it.

Therefore, identify when you’re using labels, or thinking of yourself in a way that makes you stand out from others.

• I know what I’m talking about because I’m experienced
• I’m a healer
• I’m psychic
• I have a special gift
• I’ve been doing this longer than most people
• I’m wiser than most people
• I am more loving, compassionate, and grateful than others

Steps to tame the spiritual ego

Now that you have a good understanding of the spiritual ego and why you need to keep it in check, let’s look at some different ways that you can do that. Do everything listed below if you want to make sure that your spiritual ego will never get the best of you.

Constantly challenge your ego

Constantly question yourself. The ego doesn’t like to be challenged, so when you’re constantly questioning your motives and desires, the ego is not going to have anywhere to hide.

Whether you’re making decisions, seeking out knowledge, or practicing something, ask yourself: Are you authentic? Are you aligned with the higher self? Is this just another trick to make you feel good?

That internal feedback is necessary to make sure you’re always acting with humility and integrity.

Do the shadow work

Shadow work is such a crucial part of personal growth because in order to actually become the best versions of ourselves, we need to dredge out all the shit we’re holding onto.

A spiritual ego takes over because you actually feel insecure. You overcompensate for these feelings by assuming the position that you’re more advanced than others. But it comes from a wound.

True masters always come from a place of humility because they have nothing to prove. They’re not seeking recognition because they are healed.

So every time you catch your spiritual ego in place, use it as a mirror to explore yourself and figure out why you are behaving in that way. Only by continuously healing and using it as an opportunity, can you heal the root cause of it.

• Your Guide to Shadow Work: Understanding and Integrating the Hidden Self

You are always on your knees

As someone who is evolving themselves spiritually, you should always be on your knees in service. This is what it’s all about, serving something that is bigger than you.

Remember that you are always at service. But be careful not to use being at service as ammunition for your spiritual ego either. Sometimes I feel more important by believing I’m at service, which is a trap you want to watch out for.

Deconstruct your spiritual programming

Chances are you’ve been led to believe that spirituality is a certain thing that can be achieved by walking a certain path, that only certain people can do.

So you develop the idea that there is a particular path, or a particular set of rules, or ways that you connect more deeply with yourself.

You might believe that in order to be spiritual you shouldn’t eat meat, or that someone on a spiritual path must avoid alcohol. There might be some validity to their beliefs, but part of spirituality is finding what resonates with you personally, not going off what you should do.

Despite knowing many people who are very rigid about what they shouldn’t do, I still like to drink. I eat meat. But that doesn’t mean I’m any less spiritual than other people, I’m just not putting ideas in my head about what I should do.

Get out of your head

Chances are that you have a picture of what spirituality looks like, and you are trying to be congruent with that image.

But that fact that you’re trying to be congruent with an image makes you inauthentic. This is why you need to let go of your ideas and expectations of what a spiritual person looks like.

Spirituality looks different for everyone. Just the act of trying to better yourself is spirituality in action, so let go of these preconceptions of needing to be spiritual or succeeding with spirituality. It’s not something you can fail.

Avoid spiritual bypassing

Spiritual bypassing is when you use a smokescreen to cover up aspects of yourself that you want to avoid. In other words, it’s pretending to be someone you’re not, in an attempt to avoid doing the hard work.

But there will always be hard work involved. It takes time to learn, grow, and develop wisdom. If you’re jumping straight to ‘I will only experience love and light’ without being real with yourself, you’re going to create more problems.

So avoid spiritual bypassing by being real with yourself. The ego struggles to grip authenticity, but it has no problem doing so with a false image.

• Toxic Positivity and the Dangers of Spiritual Bypassing

Practice modesty

This goes without saying, be modest. Stop talking yourself up, and be aware when you unconsciously start to do so.

Modesty can be a real challenge because you actually have a lot to tell. You have some wisdom, and you feel that others would benefit from hearing it. You might want to be acknowledged, so talking about yourself is your way of qualifying yourself.

But you have nothing to prove. If you are truly integral to your path, what does it matter what others think? So really work out this muscle of modesty, because being modest no matter where you are in your journey is a good sign.

Be integral to your teachings

Something that’s really important is to make sure that you actually practice what you preach. You can tell the whole world and their dogs that love and kindness are the keys to heaven, but are you completely integral to living with love and kindness?

You might tell others that they attract the situations in their lives, but play the victim when things go wrong for you. If you tell people that they should meditate every day, you better be doing it yourself.

Part of dissolving your spiritual ego is to realize that you are no exception. The same rules apply to you, so don’t preach what you can’t speak about from a place of experience.

Be genuine about who you really are

Being transparent is such a critical part of the spiritual growth journey. Once you put up a wall or pretend you’re a certain way, you’re not being true to who you really are, and working with the experience you’re having.

Some things people tend to pretend (or greatly exaggerate) are:

• You’re healed in order to sell a service or so people take you seriously when helping them heal
• You have experienced a lot more trauma than you actually have
• You’ve mastered certain ways of being or philosophies
• You’re psychic or have some sort of gift

It’s okay to not have it all worked out. It’s okay to have challenges. You wouldn’t have reincarnated on this planet if you weren’t going to have some. But don’t hide those challenges and be integral to what you’re actually experiencing.

At the end of the day, we are all human. We all have struggles. Instead of assuming the role of the person who has it all figured out, humanize yourself.

Use your spiritual ego as a mirror

As a spiritual ego indicates that there is some sort of insecurity, use it to identify what you feel you’re lacking in your life.

What sort of things trigger you? Do you feel annoyed when people smokescreen you with love and light, but won’t hear a word of it? How do you feel when you meet people in spiritual communities who boast about how enlightened they are? Or treat you as if you are a novice?

Well, if you really want to tame your spiritual ego, you’ll use these emotions to look into yourself. Why are these behaviors bringing this stuff up, and how can it help you become a better person?

• Identifying Your Triggers to Heal the Root Trauma
• Pointing the Finger? How to Stop Projecting Your Insecurities

Acknowledge when you were wrong

You would be surprised by how many people I’ve met who say things like ‘I’m about to manifest my twin flame, I can feel it’. Or ‘my spirit guides have told me that there is going to be a major global event in the coming months’.

What actually happens? Crickets.

I’m not doubting that some people do have this foresight. But most people who believe they do, don’t. Usually, the person who was wrong wouldn’t acknowledge that they were wrong. If it’s brought up, they will say something to justify themselves.

So if you find that you were convinced of something and it never happened, acknowledge it. If people question it, tell them that you were wrong. Maybe next time you’re convinced that something will happen, you’ll keep it under the rug.

Encourage people to challenge you

You should want to be challenged. Because people challenging your beliefs and perspectives is how you grow as a person. If you don’t like it when people challenge you, then that’s saying something.

This is why I suggest that you be an open book, and encourage debate. After all, you don’t know all the answers. If you can’t explain something that someone asks about, then it gives you something to think about.

If you get frustrated when people doubt you, then you have something to look at. Have an open discourse with people and keep an open mind, no matter how right you think you are.

• How to Become More Open-Minded

Live from the heart

To truly be at service to a higher power, you need to live from your heart. Sometimes the mind will pull you off your track, or you’ll be misguided by ideas and beliefs, but that’s not what it’s about.

As long as you live from the heart and continue to realign yourself with your heart every time you veer away, your spiritual ego will not be able to have a hold over you.

To learn how to open your heart space in order to live from the heart, follow the link below:

• How to Open Your Heart Space For Heart-Centered Living