If you have an act for helping people through their problems, you probably find that people tend to turn to you. Maybe they deliberately seek you out, but often there’s a sort of unconscious magnetism, which is a sign that you’re a true healer.
Being a go-to for healing can be exhausting at times, but there’s a reason why people tend to unload their problems on you.
It’s your energy.
People trust you. They feel like you’re a safe container who will listen to them.
Helping people is great, and if there is one thing the world needs more of, it’s healers. But there are also complications.
Sometimes people will drain your battery. They’re dumping all of this negative energy that you can take on yourself (especially if you’re sensitive to energy). Sometimes people will take advantage of you or overstep their boundaries.
So let’s look at how you can help people unload this dense energy they’re carrying without
What is negative energy?
Negative energy is a quality of energy that is characterized by being dense, heavy, painful, and undesirable to experience. It is emotions, thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that are low vibrational and associated with suffering.
Feelings of guilt, shame, resentment, and other painful emotions are forms of negative energy. Negative energy can be induced by trauma and painful experiences, and it tends to build up if we don’t know how to process it.
Negative energy is stored in your emotional body and tends to get trapped there. When negative energy is trapped in your emotional body, it manifests into other forms of dysfunction.
Helping other people release dense energy
When people experience trauma, the negative energy is stored in their bodies until they release it. From a more psychological perspective, we understand the release of negative energy as catharsis. From a more holistic perspective, we understand this as purging.
It’s great to help people release negative energy by providing the space that facilitates catharsis, but you do need to learn how to do it in a way where you avoid taking on this energy.
Energy is a property of the universe and it’s not a construct of the brain. This means it exists outside of the body, and you can take on negative energy that is being purged.
Taking on energy works in the same way that you vicariously feel the good vibes of someone who is dancing, singing, and feeling amazing, because they’re radiating positive energy. You might recognize this phenomenon as their energy being contagious (that’s because it actually is!)
So here we’re going to look at the process of helping someone release their energetic buildup, so that they can heal, expand, and evolve.
Keep it casual
Get on the person’s level.
Don’t position yourself as an authority, position yourself as someone who the person can share a genuine connection with. It’s important to be on their wavelength because they need to have that emotional connection with you if they’re going to allow themselves to be vulnerable with you.
Therefore, you need to be a safe, grounded presence so the person you’re with can let their guard down around you. If they feel any pressure, or even the slightest bit uncomfortable around you, they’re going to lock up and keep it all bottled in.
Hold space for the person you're with
Holding space for someone means to be completely present with them by connecting emotionally, and providing a space which feels safe for them to go through their processes.
The point of holding space for someone is to create an environment where the person you’re helping can open up and express themself without judgment or consequence.
If you are holding space for the person, they’re probably not going to have any issue opening up about their problems when you touch on them.
Encourage the person to purge
When someone stores a lot of negative energy in their body, there needs to be some sort of release value.
When you’re helping someone out, you want them to purge so that they expunge some of the negative energies they’re holding onto.
Puring is cathartic. People usually release negative energy by crying, ranting, labored breathing, panicking, yelling, and getting emotional in whatever form it comes. Purges can be quite intense because the person purging is discharging a lot of negative energy.
Help the person Integrate
After the person gets it all out, they’re going to feel a lot better. The energy level will lighten up and all the tension in the air will disappear.
Now that they’ve gotten out a lot of that charged energy, the person will usually say they feel much better or thank you for listening to them. This calm after the storm provides a great environment for reflection.
Take precautions not to take on their negative energy
Set healthy boundaries
When people see that they can easily release their problems around you, some people might try to take advantage of you.
That's why it's important to set healthy boundaries and be wary about who you spend your time around. That's their energy you're taking on, you have no responsibility to do so, even if it helps them, so make sure you're conscious about who you share your energy with.
Ground yourself
Make sure you remain grounded in your interactions with other people. Be present, breathe, stand in your power as a conduit who has control over the situation rather than as sponge who is at mercy of the situation.
If someone's trying to take advantage of your presence or disrespect your boundaries, cut them off. Protect 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 first, then help others when it feels right for 𝘺𝘰𝘶.
Use fire as a container
You might notice that during ceremonies, there is usually a fire. Fire acts as a container for energy which absorbs and transmutes it.
When you're doing healing work with people, it's always good to have fire in the healing space.
If you don't have the capacity to create a bonfire, it's a good idea to have candles, or other sources of fire in the space that you're holding for them.
When someone purges energies around a fire, it does most of the work for you and prevents build up of negative energy in your energetic body.
Purge anything you took on
Sometimes you will take on stuff. If you spend some time helping someone release some serious pain, you might start feeling exhausted, anxious, ungrounded, even depressed.
This can manifest as illness, getting sick, having physiological symptoms etc. And you can't always avoid taking on other people's stuff. When you take on the energy of other people, it's now your problem to dispel that energy. And the only way you can really do that is to treat it like your own trauma.
So you need to purge, do shadow work, release, and heal. This process can take time, depending how efficient you are at it, and what exactly you took out of the person who you were helping.
If you’re after some additional techniques to clear negative energy and restore emotional equanimity within yourself, check out the article below 👇
Cleanse negative energy from the space
Both before and after, it’s good to clear the energy before working with someone to get rid of some negative energy.
Energy tends to linger in the space if it’s not removed. That’s why it’s important to clear any unwanted energy in the space – first of all, so the person you’re with doesn’t take it on, and second – so you don’t take on their stuff.
Below are some ways that you can clear negative energy from the space.
Bless the space
Blessing a space, or thing is about providing powerful positive energy to something, through emotions, thoughts, belief, behaviors, and words.
The positive energy of love, gratitude and compassion that you’re putting out clears out negative energies and spirits.
So make sure your feeling a strong positive emotion, express your appreciation, and say a prayer as you do.
This is going to work on the energetics of the grid, and that positive energy you’re generating will flush out negative residual energy.
Keep energetically charged items handy
You don’t need to go straight for the crystal ball- many items are energetically charged.
This can be through natural processes, through blessing, through the surrounding or residual energy it absorbed.
So if you have items which have received a lot of love, keep them around. Plants are a great addition to have around too, as nature energy is very grounding.
Particular crystals and minerals have different energetic properties. Do some research on it, wear crystals or charged items, or have them in the space that is receiving the negative energy via purging.
Smudge the space
Lighting something like Palo Santo or White Sage is good, as the energetic properties of the smoke clears out negative energy.
So when you’re helping someone purge and heal, it’s always ideal to smudge the place both before and after working with them, as the smoke will counteract the negative energy in the space.
By incorporating blessing with certain items that cleanse the space, this is essentially smudging the space, and helps a lot with the energetics of the space.
Use sound to move the energy
Sound moves energy. That’s why you find that sound is a core part of any ceremony.
To get rid of that lingering negative energy, play some music, or use a singing bowl if you have one. An instrument is always better than a speaker, but playing your favorite songs also works.
So make sure you have some music handy if there are a lot of energies being purged or removed – as music will prevent it from lingering around and stagnating.